Hugo Chavez

Hugo Chavez Takes Credit for First South American Pope from Beyond The Grave

Excited about the first pope from Latin America? Well, apparently you have recently deceased Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez to thank. That's according to his handpicked successor and interim president Nicolas Maduro, at least.Maduro is theorizing that Chavez went up to Heaven and made arrangements ... More >>

Miami Marlins Refuse Venezuelan Team a Moment of Silence for Hugo Chavez

You could trace the Miami Marlins' tailspin to last April, when new manager Ozzie Guillen pissed off the most important exiles in town by praising Fidel Castro. Surely the team had that fiasco in mind when news of the death of Miami's second-most-hated strongman, Hugo Chávez, was announced shortly ... More >>

Hugo Chavez Is Dead: Here's Who's Serving Specials in Miami In Honor of Venezuela's Esperanza

What a bunch of assholes! Serving celebratory specials for the death of a human being? Well, not really. Hugo Chavez may have personified heartache and headache to millions of Venezuelan citizens, immigrants, and their U.S.-born descendants, but to say we're celebrating his death would be horrifica ... More >>

Reader Mail: Long Voting Lines Were a GOP Plot

Fidel Castro Supposedly Releases Letter to Downplay Rumors He Had a Brain Aneurysm

ABC, one of Spain's largest newspapers, ran a story earlier today claiming that Fidel Castro had suffered a massive brain aneurysm and is slowly dying. Their source: a doctor who lives in Naples, Florida. The Cuban Government apparently decided to combat the rumors by releasing a letter today c ... More >>

Rumors Spread of Fidel Castro's Dementia As He Offers No Congratulations To Hugo Chavez

Venezuela's Hugo Chavez and Cuba's Fidel Castro are socialist brothers-in-arms, so the fact that Castro didn't issue a public congratulations to Chavez on his win in Sunday's election raised some eyebrows. Twitter took off with rumors of the dictator's death, while others theorize that Castro's heal ... More >>

Budare Bistro: A Taste of Venezuela in the Shadows of Brickell

It's still unclear whether Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez closed his country's consulate in Miami or whether developer Tibor Hollo simply evicted Venezuelan diplomats from 1101 Brickell Ave. Either way, there's been an influx of Venezuelan restaurants to the Brickell area, and that's a good ... More >>

Eligio Cedeño Slams Hugo Chávez's Bid to Join UN Human Rights Council

Read the incredible story of how Eligio Cedeño cheated death and Chávez's security forces to flee Venezuela and start a second life in Miami.Eligio Cedeño finally got his day in court -- or as close to it as he can get while Hugo Chávez is still alive. The Venezuelan banker was imprisoned for th ... More >>

Hugo Chavez's Venezuela Might Be Sued for Not Paying Rent in Miami

​Apparently, Hugo Chavez is a landlord's nightmare. The controversial Venezuelan prez recently announced that he was closing his country's consulate in Miami for good. Problem is, the consulate had just agreed to a ten-year lease for its Brickell office and hasn't even bothered to pay rent for the ... More >>

Kids Pose With Assault Rifles To Support Hugo Chavez

​Newt Gingrich isn't the only portly revolutionary stirring up trouble while running for president. Hugo Chavez, the Fidel-worshiping steward of Venezuela's Bolivarian Revolution, has his own tough re-election fight on his hands at the moment.Instead of annoying robocalls, Hugo's supporters took a ... More >>

U.S. Inspectors Approve Cuban Oil Rig 70 Miles Off Florida Coast, Ros-Lehtinen Slams Obama

When it comes to Cuba, President Obama can do little right in the eyes of exilio politicians. When he eased travel restrictions to the island, for example, Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen accused him of undermining democracy on the island. Now she's slamming Obama for his decision to order U.S. inspectors ... More >>

Sean Penn Gets Called "Communist Asshole" in Airport Fight with Former Co-Star Over Hugo Chavez

​There's a reason we don't see outspoken actor Sean Penn visiting Miami more often. Probably because the Hollywood star who keeps warm company with the likes of Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro would be accosted every time he walks down the street. Kind of like he was by former co-star and Cuban-Ameri ... More >>

Fidel Castro Is the Only Thing Less Popular Than the U.S. Congress

​The popularity of the U.S. Congress is at an all-time low. A recent CBS News/New York Times poll shows that just 9 percent of Americans approve of the federal legislative body. How bad is that? Well, just about the only thing Americans hate more than Congress is Fidel Castro.

Herman Cain Heading To Versailles This Week To Pretend He Cares About Cuban Issues

A candidate making a pit stop for cafecitos at Versailles isn't exactly hot news, even for a guy improbably still leading the GOP after a month fending off more sexual harassment accusations than Gene Simmons' tongue. The Cuban landmark is such a de facto stopover for White House wannabes, the regul ... More >>

Dictators, Globes, Inner Monologues

Ecuadorian journalist Emilio Palacio escaped to Miami

Where In The World Is Hugo Chavez? Watching Porn Perhaps

​Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez is still officially recovering from surgery. Although, we think his people would have come up with a better excuse than he needed to have an abscess removed from his pelvic region. Cuz that only makes us wonder where he's been dipping his stick if you catch our dr ... More >>

Where in the Hell is Hugo Chavez?

Help us find Hugo.​Where in the hell is Hugo Chavez?The normally voluble Venezuelan president has been missing for nearly a month. The official explanation is that he's recovering from surgery to remove a pelvic abscess in Cuba, but rumors abound.Is he pissing into the Mississippi to make it flood ... More >>

Los Amigos Invisibles at Grand Central June 11

Los Amigos Invisibles at Grand Central June 11

Amigos Invisibles' Julio "Chiulu" Briceño, center.​Do you know Los Amigos? Well, this Venezuelan disco-funk crew is right on the forefront of the Latin indie-dance scene, one that thrives here in Miami and runs parallel to the general street-level culture oozing out of our downtown bars and club ... More >>

Hugo Chávez Calls Cuban Reforms 'Refreshing'

walksydneystreets.netRefreshing! Like Cuba's economic reforms​Over the past decade, Venezuelan president Hugo Chávez has become the Cuban government's number one supporter. His oil subsidies help keep the embargoed island afloat and, in return, he welcomes Cuban doctors to Caracas's poor, inner-c ... More >>

Carlos Andres Perez, Ex-Venezuelan Prez, Has Burial Delayed While Wife and Mistress Argue Over the Gravesite (Update)

Perez led Venezuela until 1992, when Hugo Chavez ousted him. His mistress pledges his body won't return until Chavez is gone.​After a week of kind eulogies for Carlos Andres Perez -- including our own arguing the world would be a better place if he could have just held off the coup-crazy Hugo Chav ... More >>

Carlos Andres Perez Would Have Made a Better Venezuela

​So the last sane president of Venezuela died in Miami Saturday. Carlos Andres Perez was the probably the first Latin president to flex his muscles over oil, thus setting the stage for his one-time nemesis, the half wit Hugo Chavez, to take power. I interviewed Cap -- who was 88 at the time o ... More >>

Hugo Chavez and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Promise "New World Order"

​Hugo Chavez runs Venezuela as a leftist secular state. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad runs Iran as a far-right country under Islamic law. These two should not and do not agree on most things. So why are they teaming up to promise a "new world order?" Because they both hate America so much. 

Hugo Chavez and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Promise "New World Order"

​Hugo Chavez runs Venezuela as a leftist secular state. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad runs Iran as a far-right country under Islamic law. These two should not and do not agree on most things. So why are they teaming up to promise a "new world order?" Because they both hate America so much.

J.J. Rendon is Latin America's Karl Rove

Free From Spain, But Not Chávez

Hugo Chavez Wants Fidel Castro to Be His Twitter Friend

​Hugo Chavez just found this cool new thing on the internet called Twitter, and he's only two years behind the rest of the world. He's really excited about it though, even though he's only on his second tweet, and reportedly wants the rest of Latin America's Socialist Three Stooges, Fidel Castro a ... More >>

Hugo Chávez-Loving Boxer Edwin Valero Kills Wife, Hangs Himself in Jail

​Edwin Valero racked up an impressive 29-0 record in his professional boxing career, all ending with KOs, with 19 in the first round. The Venezuelan was never destined to be popular in Miami, considering he had a giant portrait of Hugo Chávez tattooed on his chest, but he's dead now. He was ... More >>

Top Five Possible Nightlife Hosts Worse Than Michelle "Bombshell" McGee

Riptide reported yesterday that homewrecker and sometimes Nazi-fetish enthusiast Michelle "Bombshell" McGee would be hosting LIV's Dirty Hairy party April 21, marking a new low in tastelessness for Miami Beach. We've got to admit, we expected this sort of publicity stunt from other South Beach night ... More >>

Fish Shack & Market offers fresh, tasty fare near Coral Gables

News Roundup

H1N1 vaccines will be administered in South Florida beginning Monday, with a news conference scheduled today to fill in details. [CBS4]You know it's a slow news morning when NBCMiami's main story is about a manatee that traveled all the way to Manhattan. [NBCMiami]Let's see what the Herald's working ... More >>

The Week That Was: Don't Park at White Room After Labor Day

Trying to find parking in this town can be hell, but be thankful you've never been shot in the pursuit of a space, like a teenage girl outside White Room. Police are looking for leads.Our heart is still beating from that Miami-FSU game. Jim Greer decided to let his children be indoctr ... More >>

Caramelos de Cianuro

Peel the Vote '09: Shock Jock for Commish

Alex Izaguirre He didn't win the mayor's seat in 2005, but Spanish-language radio host Enrique Santos is considering a second run at public office.The popular shock jock, who mans the morning show for La Kalle 98.3, is looking to join the already crowded race to take over Miami City Commissioner Joe ... More >>

The Week That Was: "Best of" Week Ever

In honor of New Times Best of Miami issue, we've decided to wrap up things on Riptide this week by awarding our posts this weeks with completely meaningless merits. Click through to find out who wins. I'm sure you'll be super surprised.  Best Media hissy fit involving Bill O'Reilly and R ... More >>

The Week That Was: A Sense of Belonging

This was a week where people were just trying to figure out where they belong. It was an awkward thing to watch, like tweens on their first day of middle school figuring out which lunch table to sit at. Jason Taylor knew deep, deep down that his heart belonged to Miami, and he was willing to co ... More >>

Guilty Verdict in the "Suitcase Trial"

Jury Deliberation Begins This Morning In The "Suitcase Trial"

Shock Jocks Enrique and Joe Return

They crank-called Fidel Castro and got busted. Now they're back on the air.

Chávez cut the lights? Conspiracies Abound.

King Juan Carlos and Chavez do Trance

Could Che Guevara Be Cloned?

Riptide investigates the odds of a new generation of revolutionaries

Bazooka Babes

"We make sure the girls are handling these weapons properly"

Posada Carriles Star of New Film

"Star Witness" in Poleo Case in Jail Again

Letters from the Issue of December 18, 2003

Through a Lens Distortedly

A new documentary about Hugo Chavez plays it fast and loose

BEST PRANK PHONE CALL

"Hello, Fidel!"

Have Cars, Will Travel

Why are all those South American cop cars parked off Le Jeune Road? Ask salesman Ricardo Callado.