Hugo Chavez

  • Blogs

    August 28, 2014

    FBI Delayed Returning Stolen Matisse Painting to Venezuela Over Concerns It Was Looted by Nazis

    Hugo Chávez could have had his odalisque if it weren't for those damn Nazis. In a rare interview, FBI agents say that they delayed the return of a stolen $4 million Henri Matisse painting to Venezuela because of concerns that the painting had originally been looted by Nazis during World War II. I ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 30, 2013

    Is Hugo Chavez Alive? Venezuelan President Says 'Recording From Beyond the Grave' Is A Fraud

    The voice is scratchy but vaguely familiar. "I want you to tell the boys," the man says in Spanish, "that today, Sept. 16, I am more alive than ever." According to thousands sharing the recording across social media in Venezuela, the words come from none other than strongman Hugo Chavez and prove th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 15, 2013

    Hugo Chavez's Successor, Nicolas Maduro, Narrowly Elected President

    In Doral and Weston, South Florida's Venezuelans loudly celebrated Hugo Chávez's death last month. But it appears his revolution didn't die with him. Chávez's handpicked successor, Nicolás Maduro, has won the keys to the presidency. With 99 percent of the ballots counted last night ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 7, 2013

    Hugo Chavez, Like Lenin Before Him, Will Have His Dead Body Permanently Displayed

    During his political life, Hugo Chavez took more than a few pages out of the playbook of Soviet leader Vladimir Lenin, and the emulation will continue even in death.To this day, Lenin's embalmed body is still on display in Red Square in Moscow. Now, acting Venezuelan leader Nicolas Maduro announced ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 6, 2013

    In Honor of Hugo: Make Homemade Arepas, Venezuelan-Style

    Venezuelan restaurants across Miami announced specials such as discounted arepas and one buck Miller Lites following the announcement of president Hugo Chávez's death yesterday afternoon.The end of the socialist leader's tendentious rule meant Venezuelans took to Doral with flags and Polar beers un ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 6, 2013

    Hugo Chavez's Death Gets the Bizarre Taiwanese Animation Treatment

    Taiwan's NMATV is known for bizarre CGI takes on current events, but its take on the death of Hugo Chávez is bonkers even by the network's standards. It involves the Venezuelan president in ghost form, a devil-horned George W. Bush, the former pope in a Hawaiian shirt, and, of course, Martians in m ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 5, 2013

    As Chavez's Condition Worsens, Government Asks Supporters to Be "On War Footing"

    Venezuela's government inched closer last night to admitting what its opponents have been saying for months: Hugo Chávez is on death's door. A government spokesman announced that Chávez's condition has become "very delicate" after another round of strong chemotherapy.More worrying, Communications ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 1, 2013

    Hugo Chavez Is "Battling For His Life," Venezuelan VP Confirms

    OK, so those rumors flying around Twitter that Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez has been brain dead since last weekend may not be true. But that doesn't mean Chavez is recovering well from his latest bout with cancer.Venezuela's vice president confirmed this morning that Chavez is in fact "battling ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 28, 2013

    Hugo Chavez Is Dead, According to Questionable CNN Chile Report

    Last night, CNN's Chilean affiliate reported that Hugo Chávez is not, in fact, recovering in a Venezuelan hospital because he is dead.The report was based on the claims of Guillermo Cochez, until recently Panama's ambassador to the Organization of American States. In the hours since it was publishe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 15, 2013

    New, Oddly Posed Photos of Hugo Chavez in the Hospital Emerge

    Hugo Chavez hasn't been seen or heard from by the public since December 10, right before he underwent surgery in Havana, Cuba. Now, new pictures of the Venezuelan president have emerged, and they're pretty oddly staged.

  • Blogs

    February 14, 2013

    Fidel Castro Discusses Mars Colonies, Buffalo Insemination, and Hugo Chavez's Recovery

    Earlier this week, South Florida received news of Fidel Castro's continued not-deadness with a mixture of apathy and anger. On the one hand, watching him proudly vote in the sham elections he instituted annoys the hell out of most Miamians. On the other hand, Fidel looked shrunken and wrinkled like ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 30, 2013

    Fake Hugo Chavez Photo Actually Shows Mexican Man With Gigantism

    How badly do some people want Hugo Chávez to die?  Badly enough to splash a phony photo purportedly portraying the Venezuelan president's last moments on newspapers and websites around the world.The fake photo was quickly debunked. But who was the poor bastard whose intubation was met with gle ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 24, 2013

    Sorry Miami, That's Not Really Hugo Chavez On a Breathing Machine

    The dramatic photo went viral last night, shared hundreds of times on Facebook and splashed across Latin American blogs. It showed Hugo Chavez in exactly the kind of dire condition so many of his opponents believed he was in since missing his inauguration earlier this month: Strapped into a breathin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 8, 2013

    Hugo Chavez Won't Be Sworn In As Venezuela's President On Thursday

    Take a deep breath, Doral, Weston, and every other Venezuelan enclave in Miami: As of Thursday, Hugo Chavez will technically no longer be president of your homeland. Chavez's allies confirmed this afternoon that he's not healthy enough to come back from Cuba for his swearing in ceremony on January 1 ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 4, 2013

    Hugo Chávez Has "Severe" Respiratory Infection, May Be on Respirator and Close to Death

    Hugo Chávez is in "severe" condition with what Venezuelan officials say is a "respiratory deficiency" following months of cancer treatment.The statement has led some to predict that the leftist president is on life support and will pass away imminently. But here in Miami -- where el exilio has been ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 27, 2012

    Hugo Chavez Considering Asylum Request From Syrian Strongman Bashar al-Assad, Report Says

    If you're a hated, blood-soaked Middle Eastern tyrant whose nation has been ripped asunder by a devastating civil war that's about to topple you from power, where on Earth do you flee?In the case of Syria's Bashar Al-Assad, the answer might just be Venezuela, where Hugo Chavez has remained a steadfa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 11, 2012

    Replacing Hugo: Which Latin American Leader Is Next On America's Sh*tlist?

    Earlier this week, Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez announced that he'll be undergoing cancer surgery for the fourth time in less than two years. Chavez, who has held power in Venezuela since 1999, apparently isn't too optimistic about his chances; he's already named a successor to take his position ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 10, 2012

    Hugo Chavez Names Successor Before He Undergoes Fourth Cancer Surgery

    When Hugo Chavez made his first mysterious trip to Cuba for cancer surgery last year, many predicted the Venezuelan president's health would give out before last October's elections. The dictator seemed to have made a surprising recovery and won reelection, but it seems his health problems are far f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 19, 2012

    Hugo Chavez "Should Start Preparing His Succession," Says Former Brazil President Lula

    Hugo Chavez scored a resounding win in Venezuela's October 7 presidential election. His 11-point victory ensured that -- barring a sudden surrender to the cancer he has been battling for more than a year -- he will mark 20 years in power by the end of his term in 2019. He has threatened to rule unti ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 7, 2012

    Hugo Chavez Wins Reelection With 54 Percent

    In an election held more than a thousand miles away, but one that will hit home for thousands of locals, Hugo Chavez has won reelection with 54 percent of the vote in today's presidential election in Venezuela. The controversial Chavez has been in power for 13 years, and will rule for another s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 1, 2012

    Hugo Chavez: "I Would Vote For Obama"

    While Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez is just days away from what might be the toughest election of his career, he's decided to lend some very much unwelcome support to another presidential campaign.Yes, the controversial Venezuelan leader has all but officially endorsed Barack Obama. Uh, well, at ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 2, 2012

    Hugo Chavez Stalking Simon Bolivar: Creates 3D Image, Gives Dead Leader Facebook Page

    We'd like to think that somewhere up in heaven, South American liberator Simon Bolivar is looking down at Hugo Chavez and thinking, "I really need to get a restraining order against this guy."Chavez has spent the last week taking his Bolivar-stalking to new levels of creepiness. First, he unveiled a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 29, 2012

    Hugo Chavez Plans His Own Disney World: A Libertador Theme Park

    Do you love Disney World, but wish Mickey and Minnie were a little heavier on the socialism? Why can't Space Mountain also educate kids about the glories of Simon Bolivar's revolution? Don't worry: Hugo Chavez is on the case.The Venezuelan president announced plans this week to turn the site of a ke ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 4, 2012

    Hugo Chavez Bans Guns, Gives Away A House On Twitter, Might Be On Heavy Duty Morphine

    Hugo Chavez had himself the kind of action-packed weekend fit only for a Bolivarian strongman. First, he banned all private gun sales in Venezuela -- limiting hand guns to just police and military forces -- in a move he says will help stem the wave of violent crime in his country. Then, he turned ar ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 30, 2012

    Report: Hugo Chavez Near Death, Not Expected to Live More Than a Few Months

    According to Dan Rather, of all reporters, a source close to Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez says his cancer has reached its final stages and the dictator is not expected to live for more than a few more months. Reports of Chavez's failing health first emerged when he mysteriously flew to Havana in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 3, 2012

    Is Hugo Chavez Setting Up a Military Junta In Case He Dies of Cancer?

    Hugo Chavez may have quelled rumors last week that he was near death by appearing on TV looking relatively robust, but some recent political moves have left many in Caracas wondering if he's going to make it to the presidential elections -- and even more alarmingly, what will happen to Venezuela if ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 29, 2012

    Hugo Chávez's Six-Song Deathbed Playlist

    ​Among the most politically polarizing figures in modern times, Venezuelan "president" Hugo Chávez has had the rare distinction of sharing the worldwide stage with other high-energy luminaries like Muammar Gaddafi (d. 2011), Kim Jong-il (d. 2011), Evo Morales, Fidel and Raul Castro, Daniel Ortega ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 29, 2012

    Hugo Chavez in "Good Physical Condition" After Second Surgery in Cuba

    Did you expect anything but optimism as the official line from the Venezuelan government following President Hugo Chavez's second surgery in Cuba this week?Vice President Elias Jaua told the country's national chamber today that, "President Chavez is in good physical condition," even after reports s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 28, 2012

    Hugo Chavez Will Die In "Less Than One Year" From Cancer, WikiLeaks Emails Say

    ​Yesterday, WikiLeaks dumped a trove of emails from a Texas-based intelligence firm called Stratfor that includes an insider talking about Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez's cancer. If the firm's Venezuelan sources are any good, it's very bad news for the Bolivarian strongman.Citing a "well-connec ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 27, 2012

    Hugo Chavez's Daughter Poses With a Wad of American Cash

    ​Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez may think America is an evil imperialist empire, but his teenage daughter Rosines sure seems to love our dollar, dollar bill, y'all. The 14-year-old snapped a picture of herself posing behind a fan of United States currency and shared it on Instagram.

  • Blogs

    December 30, 2011

    Castro, Chavez Make Top Ten List of World's Worst Dictators

    ​We just usually read Parade magazine for Howard Huge cartoons and "Ask Marilyn," but the magazine actually keeps a somewhat frequently updated list of the world's worst dictators. For the first time this year, Raúl Castro and Hugo Chávez made the top ten list.

  • Blogs

    December 29, 2011

    Hugo Chavez Thinks The U.S. Secretly Gave Him And Other Latin Leaders Cancer

    ​Hugo Chavez has struggled through cancer over the past year, losing his hair, gaining weight and traveling repeatedly to Cuba for surgeries. Chavez has never said precisely what stage of the disease he has, but on Wednesday the Venezuelan president suggested that he knew the source: A secret U.S. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 29, 2011

    Hugo Chavez Ships Mountains of Gold to Caracas as Panic Runs on Toilet Paper Begin

    ​Hugo Chavez has a new plan to save Venezuela's teetering national economy and it's, uh, shipping giant mountains of gold into Venezuela amid a procession of tanks so he can end the "dictatorship of the U.S. dollar" and possibly "offer President Obama a loan."So how did his grateful people react? ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 14, 2011

    Hugo Chavez Says His Navy Chased Off a Mysterious Submarine Engaged in "Espionage"

    Hugo Chavez suspects that The Empire is watching him...​Hugo Chavez is no stranger to conspiracy theories. Shortly after a January 12, 2010 earthquake destroyed much of Haiti, one of his spokesmen claimed the disaster was the result of the United States testing a secret weapon ultimately intended ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2011

    Hugo Chavez Hit With $1 Billion Lawsuit By Boca Raton Businessman Nelson Mezerhane

    Chavez is now battling a $1 billion lawsuit in addition to cancer​Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez had one crappy week.First, reports surfaced that he is, in fact, not cancer-free but rather has only a few months to live. Then the kidnapping of Washington Nationals catcher Wilson Ramos d ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 20, 2011

    Hugo Chavez Says He's Cancer Free

    ​Obviously the big dictator news of the day is the death of Muammar Gaddafi. Though, Gaddafi's close ally in Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, chose today to make a big public announcement that he's free of cancer. Not that the announcement is likely to do away with chatter about his health.

  • News

    September 1, 2011
  • Blogs

    August 1, 2011

    Hugo Chavez Releases Exercise Video

    ​It's the hottest aerobics video starring a communist-sympathizer since The Jane Fonda Workout.It's the craze sweeping hoards of South Americans looking to drop a few kilograms in time for summer.It's the latest sign that Venezuela's president is further sinking into some sort of out-of-touch Kim ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 29, 2011

    Hugo Chavez Plans to Rule Venezuela Until At Least 2031

    ​Hugo Chavez certainly isn't helping the notion that he's not some sort of brutal dictator. We mean, how many non-dictators declare they hope to continue ruling their country for at least 20 more years? A cancer-stricken Chavez celebrated his 57th birthday yesterday and told the crowd he hoped to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 13, 2011

    Cancer Stricken Hugo Chavez Intends to Run for Reelection in 2012

    ​News of Hugo Chavez's mysterious cancer diagnosis has Miami's el Exilio buzzing over the possibility that the Venezuelan president, and one of Fidel Castro's biggest allies, will not be in office for much longer. In an interview today with the BCC however, Chavez admitted that he may need fur ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 30, 2011

    Castro Death Meter: Fidel Still Way More Dead Than Chavez, Analysts Proclaim

    Amid all the brouhaha over Hugo Chavez going all Bobby Fischer on South America's ass, the world seems to have forgotten about the original undead dictator. And he's taking the lack of attention personally. A couple of missives (translated) from his official Twitter feed: fidelcastro: @hugochavez n ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 30, 2011

    Hugo Chavez Has Cancer

    Hugo Chávez has cancer, he announced Thursday night.​Hugo Chávez has cancer.For nearly a month, rumors have been circling about the Venezuelan president's health. But his mysterious sojourn to Havana became a little less murky Thursday night when a noticeably thinner Chávez announced in a live ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 22, 2011

    Hugo Chavez Needs To Hurry Up And Heal

    One of these men is a crazed, dangerous narcissist. The other is -- oh, you know the joke.​It's been almost two weeks since Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez has made a public appearance. The 56-year-old leader, a television regular since he took power in 1999, hasn't been heard from publicly sinc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 25, 2011

    Hugo Chávez Cured by Evo Morales and His "Magic Plant"

    Fit as a fiddle thanks to Evo's "magic plant"​Oprah may have taped her last show yesterday, but we've still got another plump drama queen -- perhaps for decades to come. With the Big O saying goodbye, Venezuelan president Hugo Chávez is now the western hemisphere's premier entertainer. And injuri ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 17, 2011

    Venezuelan Missile Crisis? Chavez Letting Iran Build Rockets on Coast, German Paper Says

    photo by Carlosar via Wikimedia CommonsFollowing in Fidel's footsteps​Stop us if this sounds familiar: An antagonistic South American strongman invites one of America's worst enemies to build long-range missiles in his country, sending the region -- and damn near the world -- to the brink.Hugo Cha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 15, 2011

    Hugo Chavez Rallies Against Boob Jobs

    ​Move over, America. Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez has found a new evil to target: boob jobs. He might actually have a point, for once. Venezuela has become one of the biggest markets in the world for breast augmentation, and the plastic surgery trend has become so severe that often women who ... More >>

  • News

    March 3, 2011
  • Blogs

    March 1, 2011

    Lat Am Round-Up: Leaders Play Game of Libyan Hot Potato

    Agência Brasil via Wikimedia CommonsHugo Chavez: democratically elected, but a supporter of Libyan strongman Muammar Gaddafi​What do Hugo Chavez, Daniel Ortega, and Fidel Castro have in common? Berets, cigars, military fatigues, state-controlled economies... Errr... scratch that. This could take ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 11, 2011

    Giant Brawl Breaks Out in Venezuelan National Assembly

    ​Yesterday, we wondered if the protests in Egypt could spur similar strife in Venezuela. Today, Marco Rubio seemed to have subtlety urged on the idea by releasing a statement saying, "Today's events should hearten those struggling for greater freedom and respect for human rights in our own Hemisph ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 10, 2011

    Will Hugo Chavez Meet the Same Fate as Mubarak?

    ​After weeks of tumultuous protests, embattled Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak is widely expected to step down as soon as tonight. Will other "democratically elected" presidents-for-life across the globe soon face similar fates? Now that Venezuela's Hugo Chavez has announced plans to run for re-e ... More >>

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