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Miami's Ten Best Spots for Free Food

Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. Don't forget to check out the full Best of Miami® online at bestof.voiceplaces.com.We don't know who first said, "Nothing is free except my love," ... More >>

Miami's Ten Best Cafe Con Leche

​Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. Don't forget to check out the full Best of Miami® online at bestof.voiceplaces.com.In addition to croquetas and cigars, Cubans know their way ar ... More >>

Miami's Most Extravagant Dishes: $1,000 Surf & Turf and More

​Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. Don't forget to check out the full Best of Miami® 2012 online at bestof.voiceplaces.com.There is no doubt at all that Miami is an in-your-face, ... More >>

Miami's Five Best Jamaican Patties: The Power of a Proper Pastry

​Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. Don't forget to check out the full Best of Miami® 2012 online at bestof.voiceplaces.com.Throughout history humankind has focused on what divides ... More >>

This Must Be the Place: Sean Penn, Gothed-Up and Great

Miami's Best Chicken Wings: Sakaya to Sparky's to Scully's

​Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. Don't forget to check out the full Best of Miami® 2012 online at bestof.voiceplaces.com.If you decide to go on a hunt for Miami's best chicken w ... More >>

Miami's Ten Best Bagel Joints: From Mo's to Outrageous to Express

​Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. Don't forget to check out the full Best of Miami® 2012 online at bestof.voiceplaces.com. Bagels are a contentious subject -- particularly in a ... More >>

Miami's Best Cookies: Ten Places to Feed Your Sweet Tooth

​Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. Don't forget to check out the full Best of Miami® 2012 online at bestof.voiceplaces.com. Sesame Street's most relatable character, by far, was ... More >>

Top Ten Worst Food Fails Ever

When it comes to our favorite brands, it seems we're more likely to remember the epic successes (Doritos Locos Tacos anyone?) than the equally epic failures. But failures, there are aplenty. Dangerous, disgusting, or just plain absurd, these gastronomic gaffes may be fun to laugh at now, but it wo ... More >>

New Times' South Florida Web Awards 2012: Vote Now!

We've spent the past few weeks scoping out South Florida's social media landscape in search of the best of the web. Our eyes are a bit bleary from staring at our computer screens and iPhones, but here it is: our first annual South Florida Web Awards. From the apps you can't live without to the blog ... More >>

Cody Chesnutt, Coolest Dude Ever, Discusses His Army Helmet and "Fighting for Your Soul"

Unless Genghis Khan comes back to life in the next 48 hours and decides that humidity, not pillaging, is his first priority, the most badass dude in Miami on Thursday night is going to be Cody Chesnutt. No bones about it. That's Mr. Chesnutt in the picture to the right. And he's cooler than you. So ... More >>

Miami's Best Sub Shops: Footballs, Shacks, Three Brothers, and Hungry Bears

​Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. Don't forget to check out the full Best of Miami® 2012 online at bestof.voiceplaces.com.Miami native Chelsea Antoun has an important task this a ... More >>

Miami's Ten Best Key Lime Pies

​Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. Don't forget to check out the full Best of Miami® 2012 online at bestof.voiceplaces.com.A dessert tradition adopted locally by travelers to Key ... More >>

Miami's Top Five Vegetarian Sandwiches

​Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. Don't forget to check out the full Best of Miami® 2012 online at bestof.voiceplaces.com.Sandwich options for the meatless among us are sadly lac ... More >>

Miami's Ten Best Meatballs

​Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. Don't forget to check out the full Best of Miami® 2012 online at bestof.voiceplaces.com.Meatballs are so deceptively simple to make: some ground ... More >>

How Do You Know If You're a Real Miamian?

Ever notice how New Yorkers have such strong opinions about what makes a person a "real" New Yorker? (The answer: you have strong opinions about what makes one a real New Yorker.) The phrase "Real New Yorker" has 802,000 Google results. The phrase "Real Miamian" nets just 347 results.We're a tr ... More >>

Orlando is America's Smuttiest City; Miami Only 12th

Miami may be a leader in producing web porn, but when it comes to watching porno we don't even come -- ahem -- close to some of Florida's other big metro areas, apparently. Men's Health ranked America's biggest porn consuming capitals, and Miami only came in twelfth. Orlando, meanwhile, is apparentl ... More >>

Miami's Top Five Falafel Sandwiches

Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. I have a dream in which I travel to the Middle East, gather all of the troubled tribes together, calmly ascend a modest soap box, and say unto the p ... More >>

Top Five North Miami-Dade Restaurants

​Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play.​​Our North Miami-Dade designation includes North Miami, North Miami Beach, Aventura and Sunny Isles. That's a wide swath of real estate, and ... More >>

Snackdown: Aventura/North Miami Beach vs. Midtown/Wynwood/Design District

​Over the next few weeks, Short Order will pair eight Miami-Dade neighborhoods in a "Snackdown". This is the fourth entry. Today pits Aventura against Midtown/Wynwood/and the Design District. Which one is the better neighborhood for dining?Read our arguments and VOTE! Tweet it. Facebook it. Google ... More >>

Everybody Sweat Now: MIA's Seafair Expo Sends Us Overboard

​In concept, staging an art fair on a snazzy, $40 million dollar yacht that only Google's Larry Page or Saudi Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Alsaud can afford seems like a grand idea. After all, who doesn't want to rub shoulders with the rich and snooty while checking out artworks in quarters as tight ... More >>

Gloutonnerie to Open in Former Pied de Cochon Space

​A French restaurant from Mexico, Gloutonnerie, will be taking over the former Au Pied de Cochon venue in South Beach. I heard this news from my source, Strep Throat, who reported that it would be upscale, "a Maison d'Azur type situation." I believe I picked up a trace of sarcasm in that descripti ... More >>

Pitbull's "Niggas in Paris" Remix: YouTubers React Via Nasty, Negative Comments

​Pitbull dropped his directorial debut video for "Latinos in Paris" last week and somehow managed to slip under our Google Alert radar. Together with Dominican rapper Sensato, Armando Perez can be seen bilingual rapping 'round the City of Lights, popping bottles at relevant Parisian nightclubs, ... More >>

Miami Herald Has Less News Aggregation Ethics Than Huffington Post Miami

​There's a media fight brewing in Miami between the old paper giant and the new local iteration of a quickly growing Internet media monster. Random Pixels blogger Bill Cooke, ever the keen-eyed instigator, noticed that the recently launched Huffington Post Miami was cribbing quite liberally from M ... More >>

Joe's Stone Crab Opens 98th Dinner Season Tomorrow, Claws For a Cause Tonight

Joe's Stone Crab opens tomorrow for its 98th season​Joe's Stone Crab will open for its 98th dinner season tomorrow. (Lunch service, by the way, begins Tuesday.)  If you can't wait that one extra day (or you forgot to get in on Google's deal last week), you have one last shot at being the firs ... More >>

Atmosphere, Blueprint, and Evidence at the Fillmore Miami Beach, September 17

Via facebook.com/Atmosphere​Atmosphere The Family Vacation Tour With Blueprint and Evidence Fillmore, Miami Beach Friday, September 17, 2011 Last night, quintessential emo-rapper MC Slug and his longtime producer Ant brought the latest incarnation of their Atmosphere project to the stage at the F ... More >>

Music venue PAX Miami opens after a tough 12-month overhaul

Six Questions With the Dyslexic Postcards' Joshua Xmas

Dyslexic Postcards' Joshua Xmas.​The Dyslexic Postcards have been around in one way, shape, or form for a long time now. And their particular breed of rock 'n' roll via the acid wash of alt-psych, punk, blues, and New Wave inflections are the makings of a love-'em-or-hate-'em type of band. Regard ... More >>

Parody of "What Should I Do?" Ad Reminds Us Brett Favre is So Much Worse Than LeBron James

​Listen, we can admit that LeBron James has something of a bit of a public relations and ego problem, but all the guy ever did was switch teams. To claim he's the most deplorable athlete in America is sort of a stretch considering there's guys like Tiger Woods and Brett Favre running around.

Kohl's Cools Our MacBook Pro, Part 1

AlexMuse via Flickr​It's our first day at the Miami New Times new offices, and to celebrate, we treated ourselves to a fancy, ergonomic laptop cooling dock from diamond-in-the-rough retailer, Kohl's, in Hialeah.First, a brief explanation as to why we need said fancy, ergonomic laptop machine.Last ... More >>

Five Dumb Halloween Apps

BrianBoyd via Flickr​From a $4.99 Mario Batali recipe app that'll inevitably result in a greasy screen, to the Hipstamatic indie-cam for a $1.99, the iTunes store offers thousands of apps to suit every demographic imaginable. And like a strip mall welcoming a temporary fly-by-night Hallo ... More >>

Who Will Be the First Reporter to Ask LeBron About His Mom and Delonte West?

Let's face it: The world wants to know if LeBron James' former teammate Delonte West boinked LeBron's mom. Even if you didn't want to know it before you read the previous sentence, now that you're aware it's a possibility, some dirty, hidden part of you-- your spleen?-- wants to know. This week, th ... More >>

New Android App Helps Find Open Parking Spaces in South Florida

All of these empty parking spaces could be yours​We all know how frustrating finding a parking space in Miami can be -- especially if you're always running late in SoBe or the Design District. The only spots left are in $15 lots, or garages five floors up. Not anymore, thanks to Android's latest ... More >>

Morons of the Week: Murderer Haunted by Text Messages, Tea Party Protesters, and Cesar Carasa

We had some strange and creepy ones this week. Let's get down to it: Isn't Google image incredible?​5. Paul Edwards, busted for murder by his alleged victim's beyond-the-grave text message. So cops investigating a missing female sent their top suspect, her boyfriend and Miramar reside ... More >>

At Long Last, Your Morons of the Week

Devout fans of this column, please forgive us for not presenting any morons last week. You see, a deluge of moronic behavior cascaded through our newsroom, jammed our fax machines, and overloaded our circuit boards. We've mopped it all up just in time to narrow a football squad-sized crowd of deserv ... More >>

County Commissioners Form Arts Task Force, Schedule Meeting

WikicommonsEvery Task Force needs a van with a spoiler​Two days ago in 2009, a crack cultural commando unit was formed to protest a crime they didn't commit. These men and women sought to escape the death sentence the Mayor's Office handed down in the form of $11 million worth of proposed budget c ... More >>

Murder Miami Style: Man Fatally Shot in Northwest Miami-Dade

A man was found lying dead with gunshot wounds on a Northwest Miami-Dade street last night, according to Miami-Dade Police.Cops found the body of 22-year-old Israel Travis on the pavement in front of 9111 NW 29th Ct. after they responded to a call about gunshots fired at 10:25 p.m.In January 2007,&n ... More >>

Patrick Bachelier, a Gary's Seafood Salesman, Talks High Quality Fish Product

image via GarySeafood.comCold....so cold Patrick Bachelier sells fresh, high quality seafood and specialty products to some of the finest, quality minded chefs in South Florida, like Michelle Bernstein. He is the tri-county and Caribbean salesman for Gary's Seafood, an Orlando company that has been ... More >>

The Rush Limbaugh Diet, Before and After Pictures

Since when did Palm Beach County radio host Rush Limbaugh become a diet icon? Apparently, since yesterday. I like to think of the guy as a hard-drinking, meat-eating, pilled-out fat dude who smokes a lot. Yesterday, Google reported "Rush Limbaugh Diet" as one of the top 100 searches during the hour ... More >>

Dear Politicians, Please Exploit Your Family Dogs

The liberal, elitist media would like you to think that Barack Obama is the first ever dog-owning politician in history. Charles Beauregard "Bo" Hussein Kennedy-Obama (yes, we've made that joke today but we will continue to call him that until the Obama administration produces his birth certificate. ... More >>

We Know Jackie Bueno Sousa Believes in Bush, but Does She Believe in 'The Soul, the Cock, the Pussy'?

Yesterday, in the news roundup, we mentioned the Miami Herald's new columnist Jackie Bueno Sousa's first weekly piece and singled out the line: "I believe... history will redeem George W. Bush." Then we filed a mental note to keep an eye on this Jackie Bueno Sousa, for surely if she believes that ... More >>

This is How We Do in the XM2

Menudo has gone through more teenage boys than Sam Adams and Mark Foley combined, but what ever becomes of them once their days of Puerto Rican pop success subsides? Why, they try to get more of that sweet, sweet Puerto Rican pop success, of course. Two members of the band's late 80's/early 90's lin ... More >>

Can We Get Landmark Status for the Sum Yum Gai Sign?

What Miami Beach really needs is an iconic landmark. Sure, we've got the beach, the Art Deco district, and the lifeguard stands, but I'm talking about something more singular. A place where tourists eagerly wait in line to get their picture snapped and friendly homeless people try to sell them  ... More >>

Top Americana Albums of 2008

Picking the best folk and Americana records of the year isn't nearly as hard as discarding those great records that just didn't feel right stuck in the category. Releases by Calexico and DeVotchKa felt far too worldly to pigeonhole as folk or country, for instance, while Blitzen Trapper's fantastic ... More >>

Oh, How Ileana Ros-Lehtinen Is Dumb, Let Us Count The Ways

If Ileana Ros-Lehtinen ever got an important 3am phone call of national importance, apparently she would hang up, and then put out a press release about it. Riptide has already written up Ileana's now infamous Obama hang up, but let's use the magic of bullet points to painstakingly detail just how ... More >>

Blog of the Week - [redacted]

The Phrase that Pays

Drink to Cuba Libre with a Cuba Libre

Cut It Out

This artist goes scissor happy on celebrities

Cut It Out

This artist goes scissor-happy on celebrities

Cut It Out

This artist goes scissor happy on celebrities