Pundits, Republican insiders, and pollsters all seem to think former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush is planning on making a presidential run in 2016, but you're not a real presidential contender until you're properly parodied on Saturday Night Live. Well, on Saturday the show brought out new cast member Beck ... More >>
Rep. Joe Garcia finally one a seat in the US House after several tries, but Republicans are hell bent on making sure his hold on District 26 is a short one. Though we're still 11 months away from the election, several Republican challengers have already emerged. Carlos Curbelo, a Miami-Dade school ... More >>
Guys ... Kanye is acting really weird. In a totally uncharacteristic move, the mouthiest, most self-righteous rapper breathing deleted all his genius tweets, with basically no warning or explanation. How could he do such a thing? Like, we're gonna let you finish ... But Kanye West is the best twe ... More >>
Yesterday's now infamous leaked video in which Mitt Romney said it was his "job not to worry about those" 47 percent of people who don't pay income taxes has certainly provided lots of fodder for his enemies. But even Romney supporters ought to be upset. The fact that their nominee has written off t ... More >>
Mark Loescher tried to tell police he couldn't go to jail. See, Loescher is actually half orangutan and needed to get to the "Fusion Center" as soon as possible to check on his monkey blood. All of this is actually a matter of national importance too, since Loescher also claims to be the director ... More >>
Octogenarians rejoice, fellow 80-something-year-old and Great Depression survivor Tony Bennett has just announced a two-night engagement at a South Florida casino. Anthony Dominick Benedetto will leave his heart in Hollywood after the legendary crooner soft rocks the Hard Rock Live at the Semi ... More >>
Some children are apparently still left behind. Nearly 10 years ago President George W. Bush signed into law the "No Child Left Behind" act. Among other goals, Bush believed his education reforms would help close the achievement gap between white and minority students. Well, the Department of Edu ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special edition, Luke praises George W. Bush, President Barack Obama, and the U.S. soldiers who took out Osama Bin Laden.I wish e ... More >>
wikimedia commonsDo you believe in miracles? Alan Garcia does, just not the nice, feel-good kind.Pope John Paul II may have died six years ago, but the recently beatified Pole still packs quite a holy punch. At least, so believes Peruvian president Alan Garcia, who credited JPII for "removing" Os ... More >>
StoliStolichnaya, the famous Russian vodka, is hunting for the next Stoli Original. The theme: "Would You Have a Drink With You?" To win, all you have to do is submit an audition tape online. The public will then vote on which video has the most "flavor." The winner will be announced on December ... More >>
Ali gets greased up at Miami's 5th St. Gym.Monday: Pick up the phone and make an appointment to see new work by resident artists of the David Castillo Gallery, including Susan Lee-Chun, Frances Trombly, and Glexis Novoa.Tuesday: There's no charge to hear tales of the 5th Street Gym and prize figh ... More >>
When I visited Guantanamo Bay a few months ago, I caught what looked like the last act in the long, sordid miscarriage of justice President Bush called the military tribunal system. Hope you weren't looking for a fair trial, boys.There were so many outrageous pro ... More >>
Back in 2006 when the Republican party came to the hard, cold realization that they would have to run political train wreck Katherine Harris as their Senate Nominee they begged and pleaded with former Congressman and MSNBC talking head Joe Scarborough to run. "Please, Joe, Please, Don't let us prete ... More >>
Artists we'd like to see run for office.
Gas Prices Continue To Rise – As the price per barrel of gasoline rises to record levels, over $104 a barrel, the price at the pump has also been setting records. In Miami-Dade and Palm Beach counties the price per gallon are the highest ever recorded. Students Getting Paid – At several schools ... More >>
It's a big day for the South Florida courts today, what with the conviction of superpimp Arthur Vanmoor and sentencing of dirty-bomber, Jose Padilla, to 17 years. Vanmoor, who was profiled by New Times in 2004, once owned 90 percent of the escort businesses listed in the Fort Lauderdale phone book. ... More >>
1. Mortgage Interest Rates Frozen – President Bush reached an agreement with lenders that allows them to freeze the interest rates on mortgages made in the last few years. This will prevent monthly payments for those who are up to date on their mortgages from increasing for the next five years. ... More >>
If you cant sell it, renovate it
Jazzmatazz, Vol. 4 (7 Grand)
Another sequel, another chance for Rocky to persevere for America
"Osama Rach" (Thrill Jockey)
A pop culture piñata on exhibit
A new wine bar paints the town red, white, and rosé
Remembering the movies that heated up cinemas this year
Mi nombre es Róger Calero and yes, I will tax the rich by 100 percent!
John Kerry once took a shot at Miami's Felix Rodriguez for his part in the Iran-contra scandal. Now the Bush family friend is shooting back.
The county mayor's race is nonpartisan -- on the surface
It is South Florida's YET-to-be-registered immigrant voters who could swing the 2004 presidential election
Environmental advocates claim they just want loggers to play by the rules. But Brazilian mahogany barons, local lumber lords, the U.S. Department of Justice, and the Port of Miami all want these tree-huggers stopped
Where your humble state legislators work hard by day and play hard by night
This fall in the subtropics, guitars are finally drowning out the clave
First, get unified; next, give out food
The sad saga of how the feds hounded a senior citizen over, what else, Cuba
Immigration attorney Cheryl Little spent years banging her head against INS bureaucracy, until a Haitian boat cracked it open
Says fashionista Leon Hall: Miami, get yourself some style!
If it ain't your party, you better fight for your rights
Democrats hate him. Journalists scorn him. Most Americans ignore him. Which is fine with Matt Drudge. He's taking it to the bank.
Free Associated Dance
TV managed to suck and blow in 2000, but still, we watched...and watched
George Bush knows how to make war. Bill Clinton can play the sax. But it's Elvis Presley who's really in charge here.