George W. Bush

Florida Absentee Ballot System Destroying Democracy

Has President Barack Obama caught the absentee ballot fever that has corrupted Florida's electoral system? Yesterday, the Tampa Bay Tribune reported Barry's reelection campaign is launching an "unprecedented program to encourage supporters to vote by absentee ballot right away." Elections offices ac ... More >>

Kanye Quits Twitter! Blame Kim Kardashian and These Five Other Possible Censors

Guys ... Kanye is acting really weird. In a totally uncharacteristic move, the mouthiest, most self-righteous rapper breathing deleted all his genius tweets, with basically no warning or explanation. How could he do such a thing? Like, we're gonna let you finish ... But Kanye West is the best twe ... More >>

Note To Mitt Romney: To Win Florida You Must Care About the "47 Percent"

Yesterday's now infamous leaked video in which Mitt Romney said it was his "job not to worry about those" 47 percent of people who don't pay income taxes has certainly provided lots of fodder for his enemies. But even Romney supporters ought to be upset. The fact that their nominee has written off t ... More >>

Florida Man Claims He's Half Orangutan and Director of the CIA After Being Arrested

​Mark Loescher tried to tell police he couldn't go to jail. See, Loescher is actually half orangutan and needed to get to the "Fusion Center" as soon as possible to check on his monkey blood. All of this is actually a matter of national importance too, since Loescher also claims to be the director ... More >>

Tony Bennett Announces Two Shows at Hard Rock Live, Survives Great Depression

​Octogenarians rejoice, fellow 80-something-year-old and Great Depression survivor Tony Bennett has just announced a two-night engagement at a South Florida casino. Anthony Dominick Benedetto will leave his heart in Hollywood after the legendary crooner soft rocks the Hard Rock Live at the Semi ... More >>

Stuart Lawley's dot-xxx domain fight

Achievement Gap Between White and Hispanic Students Still as Wide as it Was in the 1990s

Some children are apparently still left behind. ​Nearly 10 years ago President George W. Bush signed into law the "No Child Left Behind" act. Among other goals, Bush believed his education reforms would help close the achievement gap between white and minority students. Well, the Department of Edu ... More >>

Today We Are All Proud Americans

​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special edition, Luke praises George W. Bush, President Barack Obama, and the U.S. soldiers who took out Osama Bin Laden.I wish e ... More >>

Osama Bin Laden "Removed" by Pope John Paul II, says Peruvian President Alan Garcia

wikimedia commonsDo you believe in miracles? Alan Garcia does, just not the nice, feel-good kind.​Pope John Paul II may have died six years ago, but the recently beatified Pole still packs quite a holy punch. At least, so believes Peruvian president Alan Garcia, who credited JPII for "removing" Os ... More >>

Five Stoli Losers Who Wouldn't Drink With Themselves

Stoli​Stolichnaya, the famous Russian vodka, is hunting for the next Stoli Original. The theme: "Would You Have a Drink With You?" To win, all you have to do is submit an audition tape online. The public will then vote on which video has the most "flavor." The winner will be announced on December ... More >>

Miami Free Times: Boxing Icon Ferdie Pacheco, Photographer Paul Strand, and Former First Lady Laura Bush

Ali gets greased up at Miami's 5th St. Gym.​Monday: Pick up the phone and make an appointment to see new work by resident artists of the David Castillo Gallery, including Susan Lee-Chun, Frances Trombly, and Glexis Novoa.Tuesday: There's no charge to hear tales of the 5th Street Gym and prize figh ... More >>

Another Reason to Give Thanks: You're Not Stuck At MIA Right Now

We're not sure how many surveys you need to tell you what you already know -- namely that Miami International Airport is to flying what George W. Bush is to presidencies. http://www.flickr.com/photos/bellatrix6/ / CC BY-SA 2.0 A familiar sight inside MIA.​ ​But hey, it's Thanksgiving, s ... More >>

News Roundup

Oh, ZBT the UM frat caught up in another drug mess has been temporarily suspend. Police said pot and a pill for ADHD treatment (adderall?) were sold at the house. [JustNews]A Charlie Crist adviser,  Alan Mendelsohn, is linked to one of these many, many ponzi schemes. [Pulp]Marc Sarnoff is the n ... More >>

MSNBC's Lone Conservative Rethinking a Senate Run

Back in 2006 when the Republican party came to the hard, cold realization that they would have to run political train wreck Katherine Harris as their Senate Nominee they begged and pleaded with former Congressman and MSNBC talking head Joe Scarborough to run. "Please, Joe, Please, Don't let us prete ... More >>

Pop Stars for President

Artists we'd like to see run for office.

End of the Diaz-Balart Dynasty

The Republican brothers are headed for defeat, and Cuban-American politics will change forever.

Weekly News Roundup - Foreclosure Bill Approved

Weekly News Wrapup - Getting Paid For Good Grades, Skyrocketing Gas Prices and Warrants for Bush and Cheney

Last Night: Chris Rock at the Hard Rock

Jose Padilla and Super Pimp Arthur Van Moor Suffer

Weekly News Wrap

Cuban Political Prisoner Recognized

The Homeowner’s Last Hurrah

If you can’t sell it, renovate it

Guru

Jazzmatazz, Vol. 4 (7 Grand)

The Big Valley

Rocky v. Ahmadinejad

Another sequel, another chance for Rocky to persevere for America

Extra Golden

"Osama Rach" (Thrill Jockey)

Breaking the Law

A pop culture piñata on exhibit

City Slicker

A new wine bar paints the town red, white, and rosé

Fahrenheit 2004

Remembering the movies that heated up cinemas this year

Basshead

The Future

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Next President of the United States

Mi nombre es Róger Calero and yes, I will tax the rich by 100 percent!

Contra Campaign

John Kerry once took a shot at Miami's Felix Rodriguez for his part in the Iran-contra scandal. Now the Bush family friend is shooting back.

Democratic Mayor or Republican Mayor?

The county mayor's race is nonpartisan -- on the surface

Never Mind the Ballots

It is South Florida's YET-to-be-registered immigrant voters who could swing the 2004 presidential election

Current Stage Shows

The Greenpeace Effect

Environmental advocates claim they just want loggers to play by the rules. But Brazilian mahogany barons, local lumber lords, the U.S. Department of Justice, and the Port of Miami all want these tree-huggers stopped

Welcome to Fabulous Tallahassee

Where your humble state legislators work hard by day and play hard by night

Everybody Looks Like a Rock Star

This fall in the subtropics, guitars are finally drowning out the clave

The War Comes to Bagel Time

Mazel tov

The Will Adams Embargo

The sad saga of how the feds hounded a senior citizen over, what else, Cuba

Little Goes A Long Way

Immigration attorney Cheryl Little spent years banging her head against INS bureaucracy, until a Haitian boat cracked it open

Sartorially Speaking

Says fashionista Leon Hall: Miami, get yourself some style!

Shake

If it ain't your party, you better fight for your rights

The Drudge Retort

Democrats hate him. Journalists scorn him. Most Americans ignore him. Which is fine with Matt Drudge. He's taking it to the bank.

Best Miami Herald Writer

Kathleen Krog

Shake

Free Associated Dance

Blow Up the Box

TV managed to suck and blow in 2000, but still, we watched...and watched

Paintings from the Edge

The Third Man

George Bush knows how to make war. Bill Clinton can play the sax. But it's Elvis Presley who's really in charge here.