Gatorade

Heat Pull Out 11th Straight, Beat Cavs 109-105

No Oscars were awarded for Dwyane Wade's fourth-quarter performance Sunday night. Just another Miami Heat win, that's all. With his team down seven with just under four minutes to go, the man they once called "Flash" played the role of superhero, scoring 11 of his 24 in the game's final five minutes ... More >>

30 Rock's Best Florida Jokes

Miami ING Marathon: Tips for Carb Loading

Miami's ING Marathon is only four days away. I'm counting because I'm running it. These last few days before a race find many athletes stressing out about food. The truth is, no matter how hard you've trained, poor timing and choices in your eating style can sabotage your run. I've experienced this ... More >>

Is Charlie Crist Florida's Next Governor?

Miami Dolphins Obliterate the Oakland Raiders 35 - 13

Facing a below-average Oakland Raiders yesterday, it was generally believed the Dolphins had a very good chance of beating their former AFC rival and notching the first victory for both Head Coach Joe Philbin and QB Ryan Tannehill. Then Reggie Bush came out of nowhere and decided to show everyone hi ... More >>

Sunset Music Festival 2012 Lineup: Rabbit in the Moon's Bunny and 69 Others!

Ever been "Mind Fuct"? Well, we here at Crossfade lost our cranial virginity circa 2010. It was the end of the Aughts. A ravetastic techno-apocalypse seemed imminent. And the GHB was flowing like pre-coital Gatorade. We were young, innocent, and eager to party. Then suddenly, our temporal lobe wa ... More >>

Mugshots Friday: Miami Heat Championship Edition

​Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to th ... More >>

Miami Heat Take Game 4, Are One Win Away From Title

Your Miami Heat overcame a 17-point deficit, a 43-point game from Russell Westbrook, a relentless Oklahoma City Thunder attack, and LeBron James losing a leg in the fourth quarter to pull off the 104-98 Game 4 win, and are now just one more victory away from being crowned NBA Finals champions.SOMEBO ... More >>

ESPN Column Defending LeBron Somehow Claims He Punched Juwan Howard's Cane

A good chunk of the sports media and NBA fandom relishes holding up LeBron James as the biggest sports villain that ever did live, so much so that every little flaw is blown up out of proportion and presented as proof that he falls somewhere on the evil spectrum between Darth Vader and Hitler. So ES ... More >>

Money Balls

Dave Samson Ran By New Times Office, But We Had No Tomatoes To Throw at Him UPDATE

Today is the day Miami Marlins President Dave Samson is running 52 miles in honor of the construction workers who built him and his ex-step-daddy Jeffrey Loria the half-billion dollar ball park paid primarily by Miami-Dade taxpayers. We told readers about Samson's shameless publicity stunt to show o ... More >>

You Got Served

Heat Fall to the Lakers as Masked Kobe Drops 33

​Kobe Bryant and his broken face scored 33 points, as he and the Lakers took down the Miami Heat 93-83 yesterday, handing Miami their second consecutive loss.It was the first meeting between L.A. and Miami since Dwyane Wade inadvertently broke Kobe's nose during a hard foul in the All Star game la ... More >>

Super Bowl Hangover? The Ten Best Remedies

Feel like crap? Try one of these.​The Super Bowl was amazing. The Giants won, Madonna pouted, and you partied...and partied...and partied.Now it's Monday morning and you're feeling like something fished out of a drain. You overindulged and now you're paying the price.  You could call in sick ... More >>

Carlos Zambrano Joins Ozzie Guillen In Miami, Giving Marlins 93 Percent of MLB's Crazy

The Miami Marlins inked a deal last night for once-explosive, possibly still insane Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano. With Ozzie Guillen already signed on to manage the club, the two most unhinged personalities in baseball will call Little Havana home next season.Scientists contacted by Riptide are stil ... More >>

Bytox Hangover Patch Doctor: I Drank 12 Shots of Tequila and Felt Great

​We here at Short Order have been through just about every hangover remedy available to mankind -- honey, Advil, Alka-Seltzer, Gatorade, more booze, Red Bull, and some crazy drink that you're actually supposed to mix with alcohol.  While they all work eventually, there's still that initial do ... More >>

Miami's top news stories of 2011

Dude, where's my city? Miami wakes up with a pounding headache.

Art Basel Bingo 2011: Play Along!

​Back in March, we debuted Ultra Bingo. The exploration of a subculture through a game of chance was more enjoyable that we thought it would be, so why not apply it to another major Miami event? So here you have it, Basel Bingo!Like its Ultra cousin, Basel Bingo is packed with (stereotypical) stu ... More >>

Black Friday Endurance Shopping: A Nutritional Plan for Optimal Performance

Black Friday deals this year will be even better than usual. According to Bloomberg, if customers bought everything on the Toys "R" Us circular this year, they would save $12,500, up from $11,000 last year. Stores are opening earlier, giving you and the other ravenous holiday deal shoppers even more ... More >>

Kings of Leon's Jared Followill Crashes SUV into Neighbor's Garage

The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas, Flickr​Truth or Dare bylaws clearly state that a person who's dared to do something must oblige. If they don't, they're labeled a pussy for life. Last night, Kings of Leon bassist and Truth or Dare purist Jared Followill ran his SUV into a neighbor's home after bei ... More >>

Just When Chad Henne Finally Gets His Shit Together, the Fins D Gets Reamed

TAWMMY BRADY IS FACKIN' GAWD!! LET'S GO SAWX!!​All the talk before this season began was how Chad Henne and the Miami Dolphins offense was just a massive pile of deer shit. But when Henne started things off last night's season opener against the New England Patriots by leading the Fins on a 12-pla ... More >>

Highlights From the Comments Section: Everyone Hates Muslims Edition

​Sure, the Tea Party may be economically illiterate and prone to asking stupid questions of important people, but if its pols are booted out of office in 2012, it won't be because of poor communication. Those online commenters are really on their collective game. They hunt in packs, like wolves, o ... More >>

Baby Anchovies to Pure MSG: Unique Items From the Japanese Market

You may have sampled Chef Michio's delicious and well priced sushi at the Japanese Market, in North Bay Village, but have you ever actually bought anything there? Sure, you could go with standards like rice or sake, but dig a little deeper and you can find unique items like these that you won't find ... More >>

Troy Kurtz's Ten Essential Tips for Summer Clubbing

Photo by Rudy DubouéSurvive summer with Troy Kurtz.​The morning after some serious partying, you wake up totally confused because your lips are pasted shut and you've literally been dreaming about the sweat on a glass of cold water. Yours eardrums are KO-ed from last night's bass, and it sounds l ... More >>

South Florida Has A Winning Team: Men's Beach Soccer

Courtesy of Erich KuhnkeFlorida Beach Soccer's Ben Astorga, a former member of the U.S. Beach Soccer National Team, got nine stitches in his face before the final match.​We get it already -- the Heat lost. It was sad. But another team has been defending Miami's honor, and these guys actually won a ... More >>

Interpreting LeBron James and Dwyane Wade's Post-Game Outfits

​First off: Is there any better evidence that the Miami Heat's Big Three is really a two-headed beast than the fact that Dwyane Wade and LeBron James always hold a tandem press conference with Chris Bosh later speaking to reporters alone? If this team is a circus, Wade and LeBron are the tight ... More >>

Gas Station Workout, Diet, Wins Worldwide Popularity

Camille LambFrancisco has energy for hours thanks to his gas station game plan.​Gas prices are so high these days, many of us feel like beating up the pump when it's done tallying up our tabs. But we can't do much damage to those LCD screens with flappy, impotent little biceps and the pep of salte ... More >>

Dada 5000 Fights at FIU Campus, Announces End of Backyard Fights

Andy HernandezDada 5000 gears up for second fight.​Dhafir Harris, aka Dada 5000, is back in the MMA ring this Saturday night. The Perrine Spartan is the second headline match for the Mixed Fighting Alliance's event at the U.S. Century Bank Arena located in the south campus of Florida International ... More >>

Best parties for New Year's Eve 2011

Miami Central's Quest for First State Title Continues Tonight Against South Dade

Michael MillerCentral running back Devonta Freeman breaks free last Friday​Win the division? Check. Knock-off Northwestern? Check.There's not much left between Miami Central High School and its first-ever state football title. The Rockets trounced their arch-rivals last week to earn a spot in the ... More >>

After Braving World's Biggest Clusterf%&k, Riptide Wins Audience With Muhammad Ali

You might be surprised at what he had to say about LeBron. Anybody who believes reporters are free-thinkers has not seen us when we get in a herd. We get our cattle-brain on in locker rooms, press conferences--and at last night's much-hyped re-opening of South Beach's famed 5th St. Gym, with i ... More >>

Dwyane Wade Heard What We Said About His Acting Ability

On Tuesday we sized up Dwyane Wade's acting ability based on his latest commercial for Gatorade's G Series Live. Well, Men's Health saw the post and happened to have had Dwyane Wade swoop by their offices yesterday. Apparently they think we said LeBron James is a better actor than Wade (which is not ... More >>

Dwyane Wade Goes Undercover as Nerd in Gatorade Ad

​Adopting an alter-ego for a commercial is a time honored tradition amongst NBA players. There was Larry Johnson's Grandma Ma, Penny Hardaway's Lil Penny, and of course LeBron James' multi-personality turn in Nike's "The LeBrons" commercials. Now Dwyane Wade has joined the tradition, shilling ... More >>

Q&A with DJ EFN; Charity Event with ¡Mayday! at Transit Lounge Tonight

​¡Mayday! has a monthly gig at Transit Lounge where they host the night for one Friday each month. Well, that Friday is tonight. But this particular night at Transit will be extra special as the event will double up as a charity drive in support of Miami's homeless population. Live music featurin ... More >>

Roach Coaches: Miami's Original Food Trucks

Photo by Christina Staalstrom​With the surge of mobile food in the Miami area, it's easy to forget the" Roach Coaches" that stop at construction sites and building parking lots throughout the day to offer beverages, snacks, baked goods and hot food for bargain prices.Evelyn Garcia owns and operate ... More >>

Naturally, Gatorade Joins Natural Drink Craze

​Gatorade was created back in 1965 by several "scientists" at the university of Florida, according to the company's website. After speaking with football coaches about the problem of dehydration, "researchers then took their findings into the lab, and scientifically formulated a new, precisely ... More >>

How to Go Into Business With Dwyane Wade if You're 20 and Live With Your Parents: Without His Permission!

Photo by Jacob Katel​Corporations like Gatorade, T-Mobile, and Nike have paid many millions of dollars to go into business with Heat demi-God Dwyane Wade. But what of the little man? Shouldn't everybody, even if they live with their parents in South Miami, be able to partner with an NBA supe ... More >>

We’ll Call It Playground Redemption

Boobs, tunes, and soul food: Bubba Clinton's guide to Miami

Ah, the life of an ex-president. When the wife isn't unleashing you like an aging attack froodle on this or that Junior Senator in pursuit of her master plan, it's actually pretty serene. Flying to and fro in private jets; staying in the world's finest hotels in every locale; getting paid $100,000 t ... More >>

Backstop Man

The Marlins are banking on first-rounder Kyle Skipworth.

Super Bowl Ads: The Best and Worst

Lousy Movie

Spartan laughs to be had in this lackluster parody.

Fast-Food Children

Making school lunches healthy is an uphill battle

Iron Twin

A Colombian boxer, training in the subtropics, squares off for a championship

Tour de Dope

A Miami rider broke from the pack and admitted to drug use in cycling

High-Wire Hunt

He climbed. He saw. He hasn't yet conquered the mystery of his missing brother.

Franks for the Memories

Various concessions at Pro Player Stadium

Of Gridirons and Gunshots

The Greater Miami Pop Warner Football League struggles to control itself

Noble Deeds

Good Rockin' Johnny and the Wiseguys say Lynne me your ears

Got Their Mojo Working