• Blogs

    November 3, 2014

    Dolphins Accidentally Soaked Ref With Gatorade After Demolishing Chargers

    The Miami Dolphins are now awesome at football. The Gatorade celebration thing? Still needs a little work. It makes sense -- they don't practice it much, after all. After a nasty, defense-dominated, 37-0 win over the Chargers, the Dolphins wanted to cap off the big day with a celebratory shower fo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 15, 2014

    Knowshon Moreno's Elbow Bent the Completely Wrong Direction in Fins Loss to Bills

    Miami has the Dolphins, the greatest most frustrating football team. A week after getting a plethora of good-job-smiley-faces on their Patriots test, the Dolphins came out and bombed their follow-up Buffalo Bills exam 29-10 like they had been out the night before playing Fireball shots flip-cup. E ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 9, 2014

    King James Destroyed Spurs and Dumb "LeBroning" Meme in Game Two

    Shhhhhhhhhh, you hear that? That's the sound of all the LeBron James cramp memes being deleted from all the Twitter accounts. If you put your ear to your computer screen, you can actually hear the little Instagram heart likes breaking into a thousand pieces and falling to the floor. Welcome to the r ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 22, 2014

    Asian Thai Kitchen: From Bangkok to a Grove Convenience Store

    Homeless men mutter to themselves outside the Kwik Stop on Grand Avenue in Coconut Grove. Yet tucked inside the convenience store, KT Mongkolthalang and her mother, Toya, stand behind a glass case stacked high with cans of Mae Ploy coconut milk and amber bottles of fish sauce while they toss pearl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 17, 2014

    Great American Bacon Race: Running for the Bacon Obsessed

    Running is one of the most popular sports in the United States, with road races being one of the fastest growing sports-related weekend pastimes. According to Running USA's State of the Sport report, the total number of running events in the United States in 2012 reached an astounding 26,370 in 20 ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 6, 2014

    Frozen Alligators and Meth Found in Florida Home

    Two cars in every garage, boiling Gatorade in every pot, frozen alligators in every freezer, and a bunch of meth within reach of your twin babies. Isn't that the Florida dream? Wait, no, excuse us -- nightmare. Three people were arrested in Polk County after deputies found a bunch of meth, a marij ... More >>

  • News

    October 24, 2013
  • Blogs

    October 22, 2013

    Grambling Protest Exposes Disrespect for Black Colleges

    Uncle Luke, the man whose booty shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke goes to bat for historically black colleges. The Grambling State University football team's revolt is exposing an ugly reality ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 22, 2013

    The Ten Greatest Gifts Florida Has Given the World

    Florida sometimes gets treated like the dong of America. The rest of the country is constantly laughing at us, but do you all not realize how much we have given you? You start your day by drinking our orange juice and then dare to poke fun at us during the rest of it. Perhaps you don't realize what ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 6, 2013

    Miami's Best Eats and Drinks this Weekend: Rehydrate and Celebrate Brazilian Independence

    At some point this week, you realized that Friday would come a little sooner than usual because most had Monday off. However, it's still rough trying to fit five days worth of work into four. Like fitting a square into a circle -- not gonna happen until you've got some magic beans or something. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 5, 2013

    Miami vs. UF: Jamie DeRosa, Ralph Pagano Host Tailgatepalooza at Sun Life Stadium Saturday

    On Saturday, September 7, two of Florida's most talented will battle it out for glory at Sun Life Stadium. Oh, and afterward there's a football game between the Florida Gators and Miami Hurricanes.

  • Blogs

    July 26, 2013

    Best Places to Watch Hot Women Without Looking Pervy

    Earlier this week CBS Miami posted an article online of the "Best Places to Watch Hot Women." Not included in the headline, but embedded in the URL is the addendum "without-looking-pervy." Jezebel likened it to a guide for serial killers. Needless to say the article is not going over well. But Ri ... More >>

  • News

    July 4, 2013
  • Blogs

    July 4, 2013

    Chef Dena Marino's Refrigerator: Gatorade, Snacks, and Soy Vay

    This is the third entry in a short series of posts called Inside Their Refrigerator, which takes you inside the refrigerators of Miami's top chefs. Short Order recently spoke with chef Dena Marino of MC Kitchen. With a six-year-old son at home, she says she doesn't keep her refrigerator stocked wit ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 25, 2013

    Heat Pull Out 11th Straight, Beat Cavs 109-105

    No Oscars were awarded for Dwyane Wade's fourth-quarter performance Sunday night. Just another Miami Heat win, that's all. With his team down seven with just under four minutes to go, the man they once called "Flash" played the role of superhero, scoring 11 of his 24 in the game's final five minutes ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 23, 2013

    Miami ING Marathon: Tips for Carb Loading

    Miami's ING Marathon is only four days away. I'm counting because I'm running it. These last few days before a race find many athletes stressing out about food. The truth is, no matter how hard you've trained, poor timing and choices in your eating style can sabotage your run. I've experienced this ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 17, 2012

    Miami Dolphins Obliterate the Oakland Raiders 35 - 13

    Facing a below-average Oakland Raiders yesterday, it was generally believed the Dolphins had a very good chance of beating their former AFC rival and notching the first victory for both Head Coach Joe Philbin and QB Ryan Tannehill. Then Reggie Bush came out of nowhere and decided to show everyone hi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 7, 2012

    Sunset Music Festival 2012 Lineup: Rabbit in the Moon's Bunny and 69 Others!

    Ever been "Mind Fuct"? Well, we here at Crossfade lost our cranial virginity circa 2010. It was the end of the Aughts. A ravetastic techno-apocalypse seemed imminent. And the GHB was flowing like pre-coital Gatorade. We were young, innocent, and eager to party. Then suddenly, our temporal lobe wa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 22, 2012

    Mugshots Friday: Miami Heat Championship Edition

    ​Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to th ... More >>

  • Calendar

    May 31, 2012
  • Calendar

    March 15, 2012
  • Blogs

    February 6, 2012

    Super Bowl Hangover? The Ten Best Remedies

    Feel like crap? Try one of these.​The Super Bowl was amazing. The Giants won, Madonna pouted, and you partied...and partied...and partied.Now it's Monday morning and you're feeling like something fished out of a drain. You overindulged and now you're paying the price.  You could call in sick ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 5, 2012

    Carlos Zambrano Joins Ozzie Guillen In Miami, Giving Marlins 93 Percent of MLB's Crazy

    The Miami Marlins inked a deal last night for once-explosive, possibly still insane Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano. With Ozzie Guillen already signed on to manage the club, the two most unhinged personalities in baseball will call Little Havana home next season.Scientists contacted by Riptide are stil ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 28, 2011

    Bytox Hangover Patch Doctor: I Drank 12 Shots of Tequila and Felt Great

    ​We here at Short Order have been through just about every hangover remedy available to mankind -- honey, Advil, Alka-Seltzer, Gatorade, more booze, Red Bull, and some crazy drink that you're actually supposed to mix with alcohol.  While they all work eventually, there's still that initial do ... More >>

  • News

    December 22, 2011

    Miami's top news stories of 2011

    Dude, where's my city? Miami wakes up with a pounding headache.

  • Blogs

    November 29, 2011

    Art Basel Bingo 2011: Play Along!

    ​Back in March, we debuted Ultra Bingo. The exploration of a subculture through a game of chance was more enjoyable that we thought it would be, so why not apply it to another major Miami event? So here you have it, Basel Bingo!Like its Ultra cousin, Basel Bingo is packed with (stereotypical) stu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 25, 2011

    Black Friday Endurance Shopping: A Nutritional Plan for Optimal Performance

    Black Friday deals this year will be even better than usual. According to Bloomberg, if customers bought everything on the Toys "R" Us circular this year, they would save $12,500, up from $11,000 last year. Stores are opening earlier, giving you and the other ravenous holiday deal shoppers even more ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 21, 2011

    Kings of Leon's Jared Followill Crashes SUV into Neighbor's Garage

    The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas, Flickr​Truth or Dare bylaws clearly state that a person who's dared to do something must oblige. If they don't, they're labeled a pussy for life. Last night, Kings of Leon bassist and Truth or Dare purist Jared Followill ran his SUV into a neighbor's home after bei ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2011

    Just When Chad Henne Finally Gets His Shit Together, the Fins D Gets Reamed

    TAWMMY BRADY IS FACKIN' GAWD!! LET'S GO SAWX!!​All the talk before this season began was how Chad Henne and the Miami Dolphins offense was just a massive pile of deer shit. But when Henne started things off last night's season opener against the New England Patriots by leading the Fins on a 12-pla ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 13, 2011

    Baby Anchovies to Pure MSG: Unique Items From the Japanese Market

    You may have sampled Chef Michio's delicious and well priced sushi at the Japanese Market, in North Bay Village, but have you ever actually bought anything there? Sure, you could go with standards like rice or sake, but dig a little deeper and you can find unique items like these that you won't find ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 5, 2011

    Troy Kurtz's Ten Essential Tips for Summer Clubbing

    Photo by Rudy DubouéSurvive summer with Troy Kurtz.​The morning after some serious partying, you wake up totally confused because your lips are pasted shut and you've literally been dreaming about the sweat on a glass of cold water. Yours eardrums are KO-ed from last night's bass, and it sounds l ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 15, 2011

    South Florida Has A Winning Team: Men's Beach Soccer

    Courtesy of Erich KuhnkeFlorida Beach Soccer's Ben Astorga, a former member of the U.S. Beach Soccer National Team, got nine stitches in his face before the final match.​We get it already -- the Heat lost. It was sad. But another team has been defending Miami's honor, and these guys actually won a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 25, 2011

    Interpreting LeBron James and Dwyane Wade's Post-Game Outfits

    ​First off: Is there any better evidence that the Miami Heat's Big Three is really a two-headed beast than the fact that Dwyane Wade and LeBron James always hold a tandem press conference with Chris Bosh later speaking to reporters alone? If this team is a circus, Wade and LeBron are the tight ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 10, 2011

    Dada 5000 Fights at FIU Campus, Announces End of Backyard Fights

    Andy HernandezDada 5000 gears up for second fight.​Dhafir Harris, aka Dada 5000, is back in the MMA ring this Saturday night. The Perrine Spartan is the second headline match for the Mixed Fighting Alliance's event at the U.S. Century Bank Arena located in the south campus of Florida International ... More >>

  • Music

    December 30, 2010
  • Blogs

    December 3, 2010

    Miami Central's Quest for First State Title Continues Tonight Against South Dade

    Michael MillerCentral running back Devonta Freeman breaks free last Friday​Win the division? Check. Knock-off Northwestern? Check.There's not much left between Miami Central High School and its first-ever state football title. The Rockets trounced their arch-rivals last week to earn a spot in the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 24, 2010

    After Braving World's Biggest Clusterf%&k, Riptide Wins Audience With Muhammad Ali

    You might be surprised at what he had to say about LeBron. Anybody who believes reporters are free-thinkers has not seen us when we get in a herd. We get our cattle-brain on in locker rooms, press conferences--and at last night's much-hyped re-opening of South Beach's famed 5th St. Gym, with i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 27, 2010

    Dwyane Wade Heard What We Said About His Acting Ability

    On Tuesday we sized up Dwyane Wade's acting ability based on his latest commercial for Gatorade's G Series Live. Well, Men's Health saw the post and happened to have had Dwyane Wade swoop by their offices yesterday. Apparently they think we said LeBron James is a better actor than Wade (which is not ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 25, 2010

    Dwyane Wade Goes Undercover as Nerd in Gatorade Ad

    ​Adopting an alter-ego for a commercial is a time honored tradition amongst NBA players. There was Larry Johnson's Grandma Ma, Penny Hardaway's Lil Penny, and of course LeBron James' multi-personality turn in Nike's "The LeBrons" commercials. Now Dwyane Wade has joined the tradition, shilling ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 20, 2010

    Roach Coaches: Miami's Original Food Trucks

    Photo by Christina Staalstrom​With the surge of mobile food in the Miami area, it's easy to forget the" Roach Coaches" that stop at construction sites and building parking lots throughout the day to offer beverages, snacks, baked goods and hot food for bargain prices.Evelyn Garcia owns and operate ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 26, 2010

    Naturally, Gatorade Joins Natural Drink Craze

    ​Gatorade was created back in 1965 by several "scientists" at the university of Florida, according to the company's website. After speaking with football coaches about the problem of dehydration, "researchers then took their findings into the lab, and scientifically formulated a new, precisely ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 11, 2010

    How to Go Into Business With Dwyane Wade if You're 20 and Live With Your Parents: Without His Permission!

    Photo by Jacob Katel​Corporations like Gatorade, T-Mobile, and Nike have paid many millions of dollars to go into business with Heat demi-God Dwyane Wade. But what of the little man? Shouldn't everybody, even if they live with their parents in South Miami, be able to partner with an NBA supe ... More >>

  • Calendar

    January 7, 2010
  • Blogs

    January 7, 2009

    Boobs, tunes, and soul food: Bubba Clinton's guide to Miami

    Ah, the life of an ex-president. When the wife isn't unleashing you like an aging attack froodle on this or that Junior Senator in pursuit of her master plan, it's actually pretty serene. Flying to and fro in private jets; staying in the world's finest hotels in every locale; getting paid $100,000 t ... More >>

  • Calendar

    June 26, 2008

    Backstop Man

    The Marlins are banking on first-rounder Kyle Skipworth.

  • Blogs

    February 4, 2008

    Super Bowl Ads: The Best and Worst

    With Fox Broadcasting charging around $2.7 million, the highest amount in the history, for a 30 second spot in this year’s Super Bowl, companies needed to put up their best to milk those precious moments. However, while there were many gems in the slop that was this year’s Super Bowl advertising ... More >>

  • Dining

    January 11, 2007

    Fast-Food Children

    Making school lunches healthy is an uphill battle

  • News

    August 24, 2006

    Iron Twin

    A Colombian boxer, training in the subtropics, squares off for a championship

  • Dining

    June 29, 2000

    Franks for the Memories

    Various concessions at Pro Player Stadium

  • News

    December 11, 1991
  • More >>