Gainesville

Mike Diana Returns to the State That Convicted Him of Obscenity

First-Ever Bacon Dogs by Oscar Mayer

Oscar Mayer, the first name in hot dogs and makers of the original ear worm jingle (just try to get "Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener" out of your heads now that we placed it there), has announced the launch of its most innovative product -- just in time for summer grilling season.

Teepee Kicks Off Distant Love U.S. Tour at Bardot Miami on March 28

"I only eat fruit," Teepee frontman and songwriter, Erix S. Laurent (birth name Eric Lopez-Zareño) declared in an interview with New Times last summer. "And I love it." In addition to jazzing up his name and banning most food from his diet, Laurent has spent the past two years employing what ap ... More >>

I-4 Corridor Predicts Florida for Romney

Marine in Tutu Beats Up Disabled Vet Thinking He Was Wearing a Disabled Vet Halloween Costume

Christopher Dabney certainly isn't feeling like one of the few and the proud this morning. The 22-year-old Marine was arrested in Gainesville early this morning while wearing a pink tutu after beating up a man he thought was dressed in a Halloween costume poking fun at disabled veterans. The ma ... More >>

Tim Tebow May Have Florida Politics In His Future

Tim Tebow may never be a truly great NFL quarterback, but don't worry, he might have a back-up career in store: politics.The New York Jets backup QB is now talking openly about a future in elected office, but if he decided to run here in his home state of Florida, he may have to overcome more than j ... More >>

Terry Jones Unapologetic After Libyan Violence, Calls Muhammad "Mentally Ill"

Hours after four American diplomats died in an attack sparked by an anti-Islamic video he has promoted, Florida pastor Terry Jones was in no mood to apologize. In an interview with New Times inside his Gainesville-area church this morning, Jones railed against Obama and Islam, even calling Muhu ... More >>

Florida Man Pulls Gun on Girlfriend Who Broke His Bong

Nothing instantly harshes chill vibes like breaking a bong, but it's not something worth going to jail over.Brandon Chviek, a 20-year-old resident of Gainesville, Florida, was arrested last week after he got in a violent argument with his girlfriend and then pulled a gun on her after she broke his b ... More >>

"Magical Person Living Between Genders" Shakes Penis at Children in Gainesville

Zot Lynn Szurgot self identifies as "one of those magical people living between genders" according to her website, but was born as a biological male. It's a point she made quite explicit when police say she walked out of her Gainesville, Florida, home on Wednesday completely nude and shook her penis ... More >>

Bonus Points From Heaven

The Kills at Revolution January 28

Weird Florida News This Year: Floridians Have Broken All Seven Cardinal Sins

​Miami may be some sort of strange Banana Republican in and of itself, but, man, the rest of Florida makes us look positively sane in comparison. When Vice magazine called it "a violent, dong-shaped netherworld" earlier this year they weren't over-exaggerating. In fact, in 2011 Riptide inauguratio ... More >>

South Florida Grindcore Supergroup 440 Debuts at Fox's Sherron Inn October 15

440's Angelo Santa Lucia is part of a vast legacy of brutality.​Someone needs to sit down and finally sketch out the ultimate South Florida punk rock family tree. Because, we're willing to say at any given moment in the past, say, 10 years of Miami punk and hardcore, each sub-scene (Friday night m ... More >>

Buck Naked, Incredibly Drunk Driver Tasered By Florida Deputies

via Levy County Sheriff's OfficeKelly Michael Bachmeier​If the charges against Kelly Michael Bachmeier are true, Riptide salutes him for hitting for the cycle of Florida crimes: extreme drunkenness, a complete lack of pants, erratic driving and, of course, a good Tasering.Sheriff's deputies say th ... More >>

Off With Their Heads Return To Churchill's Pub August 12

We know that the rest of the country has been experiencing a lil thang called a "heat wave." But Crossfade has no sympathy. It's hot in Miami all freaking year. Maybe that's why Off With Their Heads, a pop-punk quartet on perennial pop-punk label Epitaph Records, spends so much time in the Magic Ci ... More >>

Torche Drummer Rick Smith Talks Going Pro and Pissing Off Teenagers

​When word first started to spread about Torche, shortly before their first show at The Fest 3 in Gainesville, many were excited to hear the latest from Steve Brooks, guitarist and vocalist for legendary sludge band Floor. Miami's high school-aged punk scene was particularly excited over Brooks ... More >>

Bachaco at the Stage Tonight for Jack Daniels Studio No. 7

​Did you know that an ant can carry anywhere from ten to 50 times its own body weight? Just another reason why Bachaco's name is awesome. Besides the word being fun to say. For those that don't know, this local Latin-reggae fusion band derives is name from a Venezuelan leaf-cutter ant. And lik ... More >>

Twenty-Two Dead in Afghan Protests Over Florida Koran Burning, But is Terry Jones Directly to Blame?

​Twenty-two people, including several United Nations workers, have been killed in Afghanistan during protests over Florida pastor Terry Jones's burning of a Koran in his tiny Gainesville church. Jones, who had postponed the burning after threatening to hold International Burn a Koran Day on the ni ... More >>

Terry Jones' Koran Burning Inspires Afghan Riot That Kills 12 U.N. Workers

​When lunatic Gainesville pastor Terry Jones announced his plan to burn Korans at his tiny church, no less an authority than Gen. David Petreaus warned that there would be consequences in places like Afghanistan where fellow religious lunatics look for any such provocation for bloodshed. Jones wen ... More >>

Ten Reasons Miami International Airport Burst Into Flames Yesterday

"We didn't start the fire..." Then who did?​As we reported yesterday, Miami International Airport mysteriously burst into flames. The incident caused massive delays, an untold amount of damage, and both tourists and locals to lose their shit.But what really happened to cause the fire? We brought i ... More >>

Sustain's organic cuisine is the real deal

Two MP3s From Athens, Georgia's Witches, Playing Sweat Records This Sunday

Photo by Mike White (deadlydesigns.com)​​Ignore the one-word, menacing-sounding name and the Georgia provenance, because Witches, performing this Sunday at Sweat Records, are not a doom or stoner-metal band. Those kinds of bands are generally associated with Savannah, anyways, and this trio orig ... More >>

Needless Records' Adam Gersten Talks Jimmy Buffett, and His Need for an Intern

Adam Gersten is a hard-living lawyer who runs a record label.​Currently living what sounds like the premise of a television legal drama, Adam Gersten is a dude from Miami Beach who's found himself with the seriously serious job of being a Key West lawyer. Though Matlock and Sam Waterston do inspir ... More >>

Will Muschamp Named Head Coach of Florida Gators

​Well, University of Florida Athletic Director Jeremy Foley works a heck of a lot faster than his counterpart at Miami. Will Muschamp, the defensive coordinator of the Texas Longhorns, has been named the new head honcho in Gainseville. Previously he had been guaranteed to be Mack Brown's successor ... More >>

Mercury Turns Straight Birds Gay

Wikicommons​The Independent Florida Alligator is reporting that researchers at the University of Florida have found a link between mercury consumption and homosexual behavior among white ibises.Seven years ago, Peter Frederick, a UF professor of ecology and conservation, hypothesized that increase ... More >>

Underground and Local: Diet Cokeheads, White Execution, and Bone Owl

​Diet Cokeheads' Nasal EP (Drugged Conscience) Gainesville's Diet Cokeheads is one-third of Florida's holy triumvirate of new, damaged rock 'n' roll. (Lake Worth's Cop City/Chill Pillars and Tampa's Neon Blud comprise the other 2/3.) If you didn't already know, D.C. features Palm Beach expatriate ... More >>

Lil Wayne's Lyric Book and Five Other Things to Burn With the Koran

MyFoxOrlando.comWhy are we not surprised that Terry Jones is a 'Braveheart' fan?​Gainesville pastor Terry Jones has set off a firestorm by planning "International Burn a Koran Day" for September 11 to protest the "religion of the Devil." As Jones posits on YouTube: "I mean, ask yourself: Have you ... More >>

The Fest 9 Gainesville Announces Halloween Weekend Dates, Releases Band Application

via thefestfl.com​Simplicity rules. The Fest, an annual, well, fest in Gainesville, gets away with its bare-bones name because, well, it is THE fest in the Southeast. The yearly three-day shebang is the Sunshine State's ultimate, temporary mecca for all that is sludgy and dirty in metal, hardcore, ... More >>

Off With Their Heads Brings that Old-Time Punk Rock to Churchill's Tonight!

​Ahh... Epitaph Records, the house that Bad Religion built, the house that the Offspring financed, before the weirdness began. Label head Brett Gurewitz took his monies and "diversified," creating pettiness and confusion across the vast studded fields of punkdom. Whatever. Taking on acts from ... More >>

Did Homestead Manager Cover Up a Crash Involving Mayor Steve Bateman?

Did a shredded tire cause damage to Steve Bateman's city issued SUV? I think not.​Back in late January, the City of Homestead contracted A&B Paint & Body Shop at 142 SW Fifth Ave. to repair significant damage to the front and rear of a city-owned Ford Expedition driven by Mayor Steve Batem ... More >>

Flyer of the Day: Beings, St. Dad, and Heart Strings at Sweat Records on Wednesday

​Usually we save the "Flyer of the Week" accolades for Friday, but here's a last-minute entry that we have to share before it becomes null and void. We give you the yellow-and-black job heralding, uh, "a new kind of playas ball" at Sweat on Wednesday. Back in the days of actual photocopied flyers, ... More >>

Gainesville Legends Against Me! Come to Culture Room February 18

via againstme.net​When Gainesville anarcho-punks Against Me! released their fourth album, 2007's New Wave, the band's hardcore fundamentalist fans immediately swung into crisis mode, organizing counseling and puke circles for heartbroken indie kids nationwide. Understand though, the mass freakout ... More >>

Jacobs Ladder Tour Diary, Part 2: Gainesville and Knoxville

​To read the previous installment of Jacobs Ladder's tour diary, click here. These are the on-the-road chronicles of Miami band Jacobs Ladder as it completes its ninth national tour, brought to you by bassist Sammy Gonzalez.Bands, if you're heading out on the road and want to share your own to ... More >>

Wish You Were There: Over the Weekend of June 4 to 7

via verymanley's Flickr photostreamWish You Were There is a new column on Crossfade highlighting pictures and videos from around the web of the weekend's biggest shows. The biggest thing going in Miami this past weekend was the Poplife 10-year anniversary event, which luckily barely escaped the day' ... More >>

UM Baseball: Down and Out

The Miami Hurricane baseball team traditionally wears white baseball cleats at the College World Series in Omaha. But in this year, the Canes will save the money needed to purchase 31 pairs. On Sunday, the Florida Gators ended the team's season with a 16-5 win in Gainesville. Starting pitcher Ide ... More >>

Canes Falter in ACC Tournament

Being a Hurricanes fan is a bit tough at the moment, but there's always baseball. Oh, there will always be the baseball team. One of the greatest programs in college baseball are perennial contenders, but things haven't worked out that well this year. A 36-20 record is nothing to ... More >>

Less than Jake Plays Revolution This Saturday

After 16 years, the band sticks to its independent roots.

Head Spins: DJ A-Train

From Stone Groove to Back Door Bamby and all points beyond.

Cyne of the Times

The tri-city hip-hop crew drops its third LP.

Warren Sapp is Classy

Hurricanes Make Their Dolphin Stadium Debut Tonight

Pollo Party

Miami franchise clucks it up

Eyes on Florida

A survey of the local CD landscape

Best Band To Break Up In Past Twelve Months

Fay Wray

Best Singer-Songwriter To Leave Town In The Past Twelve Months

Magda Hiller

Rotations

Rude Boy Invasion

Reverb

Swelter 12

Swelter