A gleaming white Cadillac Escalade lurches to a stop in a grimy South Beach alley. A slender, olive-skinned dude in a T-shirt steps out holding a bulky duffel bag. He approaches a husky, Mohawked young man with gold teeth and a face full of startling tattoos that include a microphone, an AK-47 vomit ... More >>
The 2014 edition of Best of Miami is live and it's filled with over 300 of our favorite restaurants, bars, shops...and people. When you think about it, the entire issue is about people. After all, for every delicious burger or soul-satisfying cafe con leche, there's a person lovingly creating it. W ... More >>
Although you might not have eaten at Heston Blumenthal's three Michelin-star rated restaurant, The Fat Duck, which offers a tasting menu for £195 per person, it's pretty much certain you've heard about the chef and the restaurant. Located in the town of Bray, about a 45-minute train ride from Lond ... More >>
The Cubano Burger at Umami Burger tastes like gravy-topped chicharrón. The grease-ridden concoction pairs a pork patty with a lightly toasted bun. Shaved ham, pineapple mustard, and molten cheese crown the fatty swine, summoning images of Havana, Hawaiian pizza, and heartburn. Each nibble makes you ... More >>
It's dusk on a Saturday, and I'm asking Javier, the waiter, to add $8 artichokes to my $24 pizza. The Colombian 20-something with a Salvador Dalí mustache squats in front of my table, strokes his whiskers, and looks cool. "One calzone with shallots and porcini," he parrots. "And a pie with garlic, ... More >>
Praise the pot gods. We have all survived to see another 4/20, the highest, holiest, and happiest of weed holidays. The crop has been harvested. It is lush and green and good. Now if only there were someplace to celebrate with a nice, ceremonial, musical smoke out ... Here are the ten best 4/20 p ... More >>
Not long after becoming the target of a foiled drive-by murder plot, Rick Ross issued a musical warning seemingly directed at his would-be assassins: "Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe." "Wishing death on you niggas, we never see eye to eye," Ross roars on the track. "Somehow I pray for you niggas at the ... More >>
Who's noticed Justin Bieber acting like a gaping, fully grown asshole for, like, the last 332 days? OMG, sooo hot. On March 1, 2012, the boy with the beautiful bowl cut who once sang "Baby" turned 18, officially becoming a mature 'n' sexy man. But just being recognized as a legal adult in the oogli ... More >>
Besides "spaghetti and milk," Justin Bieber didn't give much of an explanation as to why he puked on stage last week during the first North American show of his Believe tour. He simply said that he'd try to get better for the following night's show and inexplicably tweeted an emo-ish shirtless pic ... More >>
Always more than an ingenue, she's taking on everything that's wrong with movies -- and she's bringing Chris Rock.
Just three months removed from her controversial appearance in a Burger King ad peddling fried chicken, Mary J. Blige has crawled out from "under the bed" and put that "mistake" behind her. These days, she's feeling liberated. So much so, in fact, that's she's hitting the road with legendary '90s ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke expresses his anger at the guy who inspired Jerry Maguire.So-called sports superagent Drew Rosenhaus has made millions of ... More >>
Bono as his alter-ego "The Fly" in '92.According to the Emerald Isle's Central Statistics Office, the average Irish male can expect to prowl around Planet Earth for about 76 years, 9 months, and 18 days. Do you know what that means? It means that U2, as a band, is totally middle aged. (Formed in ... More >>
Photo by Kimberly Greer via facebook.com/bryanferryBryan Ferry is handsomer than thou.When 65-year-old glam god and gentleman pop star Bryan Ferry packs his bags, he doesn't just bring sheet music. Really, go steal a quick glance at the Facebook photos from the first few weeks of his Olympia wo ... More >>
First off: Is there any better evidence that the Miami Heat's Big Three is really a two-headed beast than the fact that Dwyane Wade and LeBron James always hold a tandem press conference with Chris Bosh later speaking to reporters alone? If this team is a circus, Wade and LeBron are the tight ... More >>
The Miami Heat continue to take pages right out of the Hugo Chavez playbook when it comes to working with members of the press. If you write anything the organization doesn't particularly like you're pretty much banned. New Times itself has suffered such a fate, and now we welcome Esquire magazin ... More >>
LeBron James tore a hole in the fabric of the universe when he announced on live television he was joining the Miami Heat. And wow, did people say some really dumb/crazy things about it. Here's our compendium, in roughly chronological form, of the looniest and most mind-melting quotes from the Su ... More >>
Yep, that's Miami.
Glades airboat guides live in limbo sixteen years after the National Park Service began buying up the swamps
Listings, listings, listings
What's holding you back from being the kings or queens of clubs? Follow our guide to the ins and outs of the door and you'll be spending your nights in shining amour
Product placement comes to adult videos ... hey, watch where you put that thing!
Is Dan Marino a stoic swaddled in hype or a frigid sports celebrity with the personality of an egg timer?
The feds call Rickey Brownlee one of South Florida's biggest narco-traffickers. His friends and neighbors in Opa-locka call him a valiant victim.
By state law, judges get elected just like politicians -- a system so idiotic it's criminal. Will somebody please reproach the bench?
The name of the place is just the name of the place. Except when it's your name.