A lot of weird things happen in Florida. We're here every Friday morning to give you the week's weirdest. This week, that includes meth-heads armed with a toilet, a babysitter who stabbed a DILF, and a gross story about butts in a Taco Bell that probably doesn't end how you think it will.
Looking for a nice stuffed baby alligator posed so it looks like it's waving hello for your living room or bedside table? Better act fast. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission proposed a new set of alligator-related rules Thursday, and, in addition to suggesting changes like a new ... More >>
In December, I received an email from a former police officer once featured in Miami New Times for blowing the whistle on dirty cops in the town of Golden Beach. Life had turned upside down for Tammy Valdes and her husband, Rafael, since she won a $233,000 judgment against the town in 2012 for unjus ... More >>
On the one hand, mass drug testing laws are inherently evil and unconstitutional. But on the other, requiring the same elected officials who keep trying to force drug tests on welfare recipients and minimum wage-earning state employees would be beautifully ironic -- especially in the wake of one Rep ... More >>
Zagat has declared the "Everglades Pizza" at Evan's Neighborhood Pizza in Ft. Myers as the pizza that best represents the state of Florida. The pie contains somewhat, er, original toppings, such as python, whole frog legs, and alligator sausage. It also costs $45 for a 14-inch pie. You may rememb ... More >>
Hip-hop has hit a new low. It's nothing but a flashy circus full of liars, cheats, and corporate scum. They all want to talk big shit about coming from the streets or representing the hood, but too many have never seen an actual corner in their lives. Not only are they liars, but they're actually h ... More >>
In terms of humor, telling people that their water is tainted with "dihydorgen monoxide" is about on par with telling someone their epidermis is showing, but the dumb joke got two popular Southwest Florida country music radio hosts suspended.
We in Miami, bitch. And we're beer-bongin' Coors Light at 11 a.m. on South Beach while riding a stolen DecoBike with our tits out, a brand-new bleeding tattoo disappearing into the crack of that fat ass, and a gut full of Starburst, naked Hooters wings, and Jell-o shots. That's why, according t ... More >>
Poor Rep. Connie Mack IV. He's trying his damnedest to turn the fact that he shares his name with his ex-senator dad into a Senate career of his own, but the latest polls show him trailing boring old incumbent Bill Nelson by anywhere from 5 to 8 points (a practical landslide for Florida's deeply div ... More >>
A 13-year-old Fort Myers boy was arrested last Friday for allegedly brandishing a machete while chasing a group of elementary school children at a bus stop. The stunt was apparently in retaliation for the younger boys' bullying the knife wielder's 10-year-old friend and for "messing with Mexicans."
For many Americans, this Thursday will be a day of thankful reflection over a meal the size of which a third-world family has never seen. But according to the National Retail Federation, about 152 million of those folks (that's about half the population) can be expected to line the cold shopping ... More >>
This really is the only logical endpoint in a state so obsessed with sex crimes that we banished sex offenders to live under a bridge and unleashed prosecutors onto sexting teens: A teacher sees two 12-year-old students smooching in gym class and tells the school's principal, who then report ... More >>
A nine-year-old Florida girls loves candy almost as much as she hates police: a lot.What started as a request by the girl's school bus driver to stop eating candy on the bus ended with the girl getting pepper-sprayed and charged with four felonies.
Vapiano, a fast-casual Italian-food chain from Germany, is set to open this November at 1221 Brickell Ave. Already huge in Europe, the chain boasts 45 locations in Germany alone. And there are 11 Vapianos in the States.The concept is fresh fast food served in an upscale environment with cafeteria-st ... More >>
Well, you can't say Salvatore Louise Pascucci isn't a pervert without manners. The 26-year-old Port Charlotte man developed a crush on his 36-year-old neighbor and decided the best thing to do was to break into her home late at night and put his hand on her thigh and feet while she slept. He ret ... More >>
Well, at least he managed to keep out of trouble while he was with the 'Canes.Indianapolis Colts running back Javarris James was arrested last night by police in Fort Myers, Fl and charged with misdemeanor charges of marijuana possession. James, the cousin of former 'Canes and Colts legend Edgerr ... More >>
Bulletproof Tiger at play.Kris Huseby is a local musician, chef, syndicated sports columnist, and thong-sandal model. But he's probably better known for having pounded the drums with Fireside Social and currently fronting Bulletproof Tiger. The latter band recently got back to South Florida ... More >>
In an age when the broadsheets are struggling and anyone can make their own mini-endorsements on Twitter or Facebook, do newspaper endorsements still matter? The Democratic Governor nominee better hope so. She's walked away with the support of every major newspaper's editorial board in the state. Th ... More >>
It's a story as old as time. Boy cop meets girl cop. Boy cop and girl cop date for a while. Girl cop dumps boy cop. Boy cop stages a fake crime in hopes that girl cop will show up at the scene so he can propose to her and save their relationship. Sounds right out of a fairy tale, doesn't it?
Contrary to music industry buzz, Fort Myers' hottest rapper, Plies, has just announced that he will not be performing at the 2010 VH1 Hip-Hop Honors airing next Monday, June 7 at 9 p.m. This is the first time ever that VH1 is honoring a particular geographic area for its contribution, and as you ... More >>
It's January, which means it's time for another edition of the Village Voice's annual Pazz and Jop poll of music critics. Yes, it's probably the latest, high-profile wrap-up of the best music of 2009, but it's also the biggest in sheer number of voices -- some 697 voters submitted ballots this ye ... More >>
Fort Myers rapper Plies got criticized for tossing $50,000 into a crowd at a concert held by Atlanta radio station Hot 107.9 this summer.At the station's recent holiday concert, he returned, but this time instead of setting off a mellee after making it rain he brought one lucky fan onstage and prom ... More >>
via myspace/djpurfiyaDJ Purfiya with Suga Shack from Wild 98.7DJ Purfiya is from the city of Palmetto, Florida, just south of Tampa. He's affiliated with Miami's own Slip N Slide Records as one of their official DJs.Wednesday, rumors hit the Internet -- namely Twitter -- that he had died due to c ... More >>
Capture of an anti-Crist ad paid for by the Club for GrowthCharlie Crist went on CNN yesterday and said that he didn't endorse the stimulus package. Huh? What? Riptide was there when he appeared with President Obama touting the stimulus in Ft. Myers. Even though the White House is claim ... More >>
via Brookings InstituteFlorida is the only state that starts with an FHere's the bad news: According to a new study of the 100 most populous metro areas in America by the Brookings Institution, the Miami area, including the rest of South Florida, is one of the 20 economically weakest metro areas in ... More >>
Fort Myers pop-punkers After the Fact will play Area 7 after streak-attacking the performers and audience at the Girls in Bands event the night before. The boys, though seemingly naked at all other shows as well as in this corresponding photo, will be dressed up as a chipmunk, pig and polar bear. Fo ... More >>
Area 7's new Avant-Garde Series will kick off May 16 wth "Girls in Bands," an event promoting acts that feature an experimental, noise, and/or indie sound and have at least one female member. The bands hail from across Florida, including Jacksonville, Miami, and Orlando. Curious Hair will open the s ... More >>
With a field for the 2010 Senate Race filled with a bunch of long shot candidates, everyone has to have a gimmick, because, hey, it worked for Walkin' Lawton Chiles and Bob "Work Days" Graham. Dan Gelber promises to complete 100 days of public service and buy up a million Google ads (net roots!). Ke ... More >>
Oh, that Charlie Crist -- he's so popular. Quinnipiac, always interested in exactly how popular, finds that Charlie can be pretty much elected to anything he wants. But 41 percent of Floridians prefer he seeks re-election as governor, compared to 22 percent who would like to see him run for Senate. ... More >>
BarackObama.com has the official "remarks as prepared for delivery" up from yesterday's town hall meeting in Fort Myers. Suspiciously missing? "Every body needs to grab a hose and that is what Charlie Crist is doing here today." It just ends with "...grab a hose!"Meaning, someone edited it out, or ... More >>
Riptide is live today from Ft. Myers, Florida for Barack Obama's first visit to Florida as President of the United States of America. He'll be continuing the themes from his stop in Elkhart, Indiana and his first press conference last night, talking up the need for a stimulus package. The event wi ... More >>
Riptide just settled in at the Harborside Event Center in Fort Myers. President Obama is scheduled to kick off the next stop on his Stimulus Tour in about 30 minutes, and we'll begin the live blog then.So, why of all places is Obama in Fort Myers? The official line is that the city is suffering from ... More >>
Did anyone really care about Lt. Gov Jeff Kottkamp before, say, a few weeks ago? You know, when those rumors surfaced that Charlie Crist might resign to run for Senate, leaving Kottkamp as our 45th governor. All of a sudden, media attention bumped up ever so slightly. The Sun-Sentinel did a little d ... More >>
Death row inmate wants seat on state supreme court.
Who says the electric chair should stand in the way of your dream job? Not Michael Lambrix. Sure, the 48-year-old waits on death row for fatally bludgeoning and strangling two people outside Fort Myers in 1983. But that hasn't stopped the articulate, overachieving inmate from applying to be Florida' ... More >>
In July, New Times columnist Elyse Wanshel opined that perhaps Mixed Martial Arts -- that sport of sweat-drenched extreme dry-humping -- is a tad bit homosexual. Diehard MMA fans, it turns out, weren't exactly pleased (by the way, thanks for the anthrax!) Well, you're all forgiven for doubting us. ... More >>
Miami Herald subscribers got a little more than the paper delivered to their doors on Sunday. Bundled inside was a DVD of the controversial documentary "Obsession: Radical Islam's War Against the West". The Clarion Fund paid to distribute the DVD through about 70 newspapers and magazines to subscrib ... More >>
"The public school system has created a shameful legacy."
Against long odds and even longer distances, a group of Miami-Dade teens competes for a shot at hockey glory
Lumpy Sue Acoustic Musicfest
How to win friends and influence people, el exilio style
Behold the swamp buggy races, South Florida's oddest racing tradition, where the engines roar, the muck flies, and the vehicles sometimes sink
Interested in Miami's new minor-league hockey team? Prepare to shell out big bucks.
Move over, Sasquatch. Beat it, Bigfoot. It's time you met South Florida's own: The great Skunk Ape.
Accused of bribery and public corruption, this power pair finds that love and justice prevail
Fate introduced Miami lobbyist Sylvester Lukis to a rising political star named Vicki Lopez-Wolfe. Twenty-two felony charges later, South Florida is still reeling.