Florida State Senate

Florida Lawmakers Poised to Ban Texting While Driving, "OMFG GTFO" Say Teenagers

Yesterday the Florida Senate unanimously approved a bill to ban texting while driving. The vote makes it pretty damn likely that the Sunshine State will join 39 others in curbing your right to type witty quips while steering with your crotch.For you teenagers out there who need a translation: GOTDPW ... More >>

New Bill Would Ticket Floridians for Driving Slowly in the Left Lane

Sorry snow birds, the Florida Senate is mulling whether to pass a law that would directly target one of your worst driving habits. A part of a new bill would make driving slow in the left lane a ticketable offense, meaning going 50 in the left lane on the interstate could have bigger ramifications t ... More >>

If Your Facebook Pic Is Red Today, Maybe Take Five Seconds to Let Your State Legislators Know You Support Domestic Partnerships

If you've been on Facebook in the past 24 hours, you've surely noticed the explosion of people using a red version of the Human Rights Campaign's logo to express their support for gay marriage as the U.S. Supreme Court hears two potentially landmark cases. That's very nice and all, but the Supreme C ... More >>

Beer Growlers: A Waste of Your Tax Dollars

Yesterday a committee of the Florida Senate unanimously passed Florida SB 1344. The bill -- introduced by Bill Latvala, a Republican senator from Pinellas County -- doesn't have anything to do with campaign finance reform or tourist development taxes or ethics. It has to do with allowing Florid ... More >>

Florida Banning Bongs! Ten Stoner Songs That Wouldn't Exits Without Water Pipes

Last week, New Times reported on a bill in the Florida Senate that may criminalize bongs and other common marijuana paraphernalia sold everywhere, from smoke shops and record stores to an increasing number of gas stations. And then yesterday, we followed up with an emergency survival kit to help ou ... More >>

The Florida Senate Did the Harlem Shake; It Did Not Go Well

OK, meme over. The Harlem Shake officially died yesterday in the Florida Senate.Yes, our legislators took on the popular meme, but not everything went well. Apparently, Republican Sen. David Simmons decided not to partake and got yelled at by a colleague who shouted, "C'mon, Simmons! For God's sake, ... More >>

Florida Moves Closer To Banning Surveillance By Police Drones

When the Miami-Dade Police Department acquired two drones in 2010 and then got FAA clearance to fly them, civil rights advocates warned the move was a harbinger of the Blade Runner police state to come when unmanned aircraft would hover outside every window. That privacy nightmare could still come t ... More >>

Connie Mack Predicts Connie Mack Will Win Senate Race

So, despite the Real Clear Politics polling average having Connie Mack trailing by six points, and despite Five Thirty Eight giving Connie Mack a one percent chance of winning, and despite the fact not a single newspaper endorsed his candidacy, Connie Mack today has made a bold prediction that Conni ... More >>

Connie Mack: Pay No Attention to Those Other Biased Polls, My Poll Shows I'm Losing Too

Florida Senate nominee Connie Mack IV isn't fighting Democrat Bill Nelson as much as he's scrapping with polling and perception. For weeks now, polls have shown Nelson with a huge lead over Mack, and the challenger is in danger of having his campaign written off as unwinnable by donors. So Mack has ... More >>

Miami-Dade Election Results Liveblog: Pit Bulls, Primaries, and County Hall

Miami-Dade voters went to the polls today to vote on a long ballot filled with primary battles for both federal and state level legislative races, and the first (and in some cases, possibly final) rounds of the county mayor race, and several county commission seats. Longtime Miami-Dade State Attorne ... More >>

Miami-Dade August 14 Election: A Haters Guide

The Five Worst Primary Candidates: Our Haters Guide To Next Tuesday's Election

With Miami's primary elections rolling in on August 14, Banana Republican decided to do Dade a solid by tallying up the worst scalawags, scoundrels, and scumbags who weaseled onto the ballot. Rock the vote, long live democracy, and all that jazz.But honestly, we'd rather you stay at home and watch D ... More >>

Steve MacNamara, Rick Scott's Chief of Staff, Gave $5 Million No-Bid Contract To Buddy's Partner

It's official: Gov. Rick Scott's biggest single fuck-up in office is not his spectacularly failed plans to drug test everyone in Florida, his botched ideas for fixing the economy or even his refusal to pee in a cup when the Daily Show asked him so nicely. No, his biggest catastrophe was hiring Tally ... More >>

Sofia Vergara Will Never Be Florida's First Lady

Bad news, you guys: it appears the chances that Sofia Vergara will ever be Florida's first lady have dwindled. "Wait," you ask, "there was a serious chance Sofia Vergara could have been the first lady of Florida?"Well, she was dating Nick Loeb, some rich guy from a powerful and politically connected ... More >>

Rick Scott's Taxpayer Waste Czar Got $400,00 No-Bid Contract in Taxpayer Money

Abraham Uccello, the man appointed by Gov. Rick Scott to head a task force to reduce waste in state government, once received a $400,000 no-bid contact from the state to provide "technology consulting." Uccello, by the way, is close friends with Steve MacNamara, Scott's chief of staff.Here's a good ... More >>

The Ten Worst Bills On Their Way to Rick Scott's Desk This Year

Today is one of our least favorite times of the year: the final day of the Florida legislative session. It's like the dying moments of a drunken high school party, when everyone makes hasty, poor decisions that they will come to regret. So, how have our duly elected representatives spent the past fi ... More >>

Deep Dredge Opponents Release 'Battle for Biscayne Bay' Video as Senate Pushes Ahead

​The fight over Biscayne Bay is heating up.Environmentalists who have sued to stop the Port of Miami's Deep Dredge have adopted a new tactic: a public appeal for sympathy -- and funds -- to stop the controversial project. Meanwhile, a bill is barreling through the Florida Senate that will force a ... More >>

Dress Up Like the'80s and Picket Outback Steakhouse

​A rally, organized by the Florida AFL-CIO to oppose Florida Senate Bill 2106 is planned for this afternoon, February 21 at 3 p.m. in front of Outback Steakhouse in Miami Lakes. The Florida AFL-CIO is inviting all restaurant workers who work for tips and union members to show up in 1980s garb and ... More >>

Florida Bill Would Require Schools to Teach 9/11

​Though it was more than ten years ago now, the September 11th terrorist attacks still seem fresh in the minds of most Americans, but now there are kids in school who weren't even alive during the attacks. So, Sen. Thad Altman, R-Melbourne, has introduced a bill in the Florida Senate that would re ... More >>

The Five Most Important Proposed New Laws for Florida Animal Lovers

​Florida is a pretty horrible place to be an animal. That's due at least in part to the great conglomeration of weirdos and cretins here, of course, but stone-age animal cruelty laws have a lot to do with it as well. A few Florida senators have done their part by proposing bills that would go a lo ... More >>

Look Ma, No Hands: Senate Passes Bill to Legalize Hand-less Bike Riding

​A Florida law requires all bicyclists to keep at least one hand on a handlebar while riding their bike at all times, which, of course, prevents show offs from looking totally awesome. Republican Rep. Ellyn Bogdanoff may have been unsuccessful in her attempt to bring Las Vegas-style casinos to Flo ... More >>

Florida Senate Creating a Casey Anthony Committee

​Florida's economy still sits in the dumpster. A recent study shows that Sunshine State ranks fourth in the nation for percentage of children whose parents can't afford to feed them. Yet the Florida Senate has announced plans to form a committee to tackle the fallout from the tabloid-friendly ... More >>

Rick Scott Pays Just $360-a-year For His Taxpayer-Subsidized Health Insurance

According to the Kaiser Family Foundation, the average health plan costs an American family $13,770 in premiums a year. Governor Rick Scott pays just $360 to insure himself and his wife thanks to a state Government plan he's enrolled in. Yep. the average American pays 38.25 percent more for their he ... More >>

Mike Haridopolos Drops Bid for U.S. Senate, Doesn't Have to Refund Contributions

​State Senate President Mike Haridopolos has given up on his run for U.S. Senate.The ethically challenged 41-year-old sent an email to supporters early today saying that his run for Senate is conflicting with his duties in the Florida State Senate, according to Roll Call.

Obama Nominates Kendrick Meek to United Nations Post

​We're actually kind of surprised it took this long for someone to appoint Kendrick Meek to something. The White House has announced that it will nominate the former South Florida congressman to a representative position at the United Nations.

Former Senate Candidate Jeff Greene's Infamous Party Yacht Is for Sale

This, for some reason, is the only image we have on file of Summerwind. ​Would you like to own a yacht that once hosted the likes of Lindsay Lohan and Mike Tyson? Would you like to to be the captain of a boat that was described as something like a Studio 54 of the seas for dorks complete with alle ... More >>

Mike Haridopolos Kicked Off Conservative Talk Show For Being Waffling Idiot

​Rep. Paul Ryan's Republican budget plan, which among other things essentially replaces Medicare with a voucher program, is shaping up to a be big issue in the 2012 election, and one would expect any candidate, especially running for a Federal legislative office, to have an opinion on it. Flor ... More >>

Floridians Are Still Free to Blast Their Car Stereos However Damn Loud They Please

​The right to blast your crappy music through your car stereo at top volume while driving down the road with minimal repercussions is a right that many Miamians hold dear and regularly exercise. But recently some politicians in Tallahassee wanted to strip us of this basic freedom. Thankfully, the ... More >>

Proposed Bill Would Make It a Felony to Photograph Farms

...and if you dare snap a photo of it, he'll make sure you wind up behind bars for 30 years, E-I-E-I-O!​State Sen. Jim Norman, a Republican from Tampa, is very concerned about a farm's right to privacy, while showing little regard for the First Amendment. He has filed a bill in the Florida Senate ... More >>

You Can Now Buy Mike Haridopolos' Crappy Book for $9.99 on Your Kindle

​So, this weekend the Associated Press published a story on some crappy book Florida Senate President and likely US Senate candidate Mike Haridopolos got $152,000 in taxpayer money from Brevard Community College to write. Besides being of questionable quality, only one copy of the book existed. We ... More >>

Candidates Line Up to Replace Frederica Wilson in Special State Senate Election

​>While Frederica Wilson is up in D.C. preparing to be sworn into the U.S. Congress, her seat in the Florida Senate sits empty. Yesterday, outgoing Governor Charlie Crist announced that the primary election to replace Wilson will take place on February 8, while the general election will be Mar ... More >>

Hispanics Might Skip Midterm Election, Leading to Tougher Immigration Laws

​Despite the fact that immigration issues have become a central theme of the 2010 midterm elections, a new poll finds that many Hispanic voters are disillusioned and might not vote at all. Meanwhile, voters who are in favor of Arizona-style laws are fired up and ready to vote, resulting in a clima ... More >>

Miami Herald Losing Chief Political Reporter Beth Reinhard To National Journal

via Naked Politics​Bad news for the Miami Herald: its top political reporter, Beth Reinhard, is heading to D.C. to write for the National Journal magazine. Reinhard, a South Florida native who has been with the Herald since 1998, will be the Journal's new chief political correspondent.The only goo ... More >>

Charlie Crist Stays With Real Housewives Star Jill Zarin While Raising Cash in the Hamptons

​Could Florida's Senate race get any weirder? First, we have revelations that Jeff Greene (also buddies with Mike Tyson and Heidi Fliess) hosted Lindsay Lohan on his yacht during a New Year's Eve vacation on St. Barts. Now we learn that governor and Senate candidate Charlie Crist stayed at the hom ... More >>

Rubio and Crist Might Face Off in Fox News Debate Next Month

​Most Senate primary debates are lucky to get aired on local channels, but the race for the GOP nomination for Florida's Senate seat is so hot it might end up broadcast nationally on Fox News.According to the Chicago Tribune's Swamp Politics, Marco Rubio has already agreed to the arrangement. Gov. ... More >>

Charlie Crist Is Dick Armey's #1 "Enemy of Liberty"

​Tough day for Charlie Crist, ain't it? First he lost his lead in the Republican Senate primary, and now it's come to light that he is the Tea Party movement's number one "Enemy of Liberty." Dick Armey's FreedomWorks PAC, which is tighter with the Tea Party movement  (coinciden ... More >>

Move Over, Limbaugh and Drudge, There's a New Head Wingnut

via True/Slant​Whether you like it or not, South Florida is home base for two of America's most influential conservatives. You've got the reclusive Matt Drudge, who takes time out of listening to Junior Vasquez records somewhere in Miami Beach to update the DrudgeReport, and you've got Rush Limbau ... More >>

News Roundup: SunRail Passes Senate

Miami students got some of the best math scores in the nation for urban schools. [CBS4]The Florida Senate passed SunRail legislation yesterday. Now the bill goes to the governor, who is expected to sign it. [Reuters]A mother of seven was killed in a hit-and-run early this morning. [Herald]Sport ... More >>

Marco Rubio Would Love Sarah Palin's Endorsement

​Marco Rubio says he would love to get Sarah Palin's endorsement in his race against Charlie Crist for the Senate. From CBS News: Asked if he would welcome the support of former GOP vice presidential candidate and Alaska governor Sarah Palin, Rubio offers an unqualified yes, ad ... More >>

Mel Martinez Will Resign

​Woah, boy. Grumpy Sen. Mel Martinez has apparently had enough of this "serving the people" stuff. Several sources report he will resign, possibly as early as today. His term would expire in early 2011, and he had previously promised to serve the rest of it. But the race to replace him had already ... More >>

Will Marco Rubio Lead The March of Conservatives out of the GOP?

​If there's one point Riptide has been consistently making about Marco Rubio is that his values and policies are more in line with the right-wing, super-conservative blogosphere then they are with Florida voters. He pretty much hammered that point home this weekend by speaking at the RedState Gath ... More >>

Super-Hot Senate Poll Action: No One Likes Corrine Brown

Mason-Dixon released another Senate poll, and like every single 2010 Florida Senate poll before it, it finds Charlie Crist is far and away the frontrunner. Ninety-seven percent recognize Crist's name, and 49 percent of regular voters find him favorable. Marco Rubio is raising his statewide name reco ... More >>

Buckley: Joe Scarborough Has the Best Face in the GOP

Joe Scarborough, a former Republican congressman and current MSNBC host, laughed away talks he might run for Florida Senate: "I don't really think it would be good to run in 2010 with a party that is actively associating itself with the Taliban." Christopher Buckley, son of conservative icon Willia ... More >>

Meek Outraises Gelber By Over 3-to-1

Warhol, ok. Both Democratic U.S. Senate candidates announced their fundraising haul for the first quarter of 2009 today. Rep. Kendrick Meek, who benefited from a few fundraising appearances by none other than Bill Clinton, raked in $1.49 million. That's roughly on track with other early, non-i ... More >>

What Does Mel Martinez Do Now?

One has to wonder what was going through Sen. Mel Martinez's mind when President Bush's helicopter took off from Washington this past Tuesday. Before Bush chose Martinez to be his first HUD secretary, he was a little-known Florida fixture who had run an unsuccessful lieutenant governor campaign ... More >>

News Roundup

Alex Sink is NOT RUNNING FOR SENATE. Florida's Senate race in 2010 will be one of the hottest in the nation, so why has everyone notable chosen not to pursuit it? [Naked Politics]Chairman Moss reorganized the county commission committees, and a certain sector isn't too happy. [Eye On Miami]Awww, D ... More >>

The Perfect Resumé for a Florida Senate Seat

Political math god Nate Silver put together a handy pie chart showing that the career stop for a majority of current U.S. senators is a U.S. House seat. Good news for Kendrick Meek, Connie Mack IV, and the handful of other representatives who might be angling for the seat, but don't expect to see a ... More >>

Kendrick Meek Interested in Senate Seat

We've been criticizing ol' Jebby Bush for positioning his possible run for Senate as an end to the problems of the GOP, and not the end to the problems of America and Florida. Well, along comes Broward Congressman Kendrick Meek, who told the AP that indeed he is considering running for the Senate s ... More >>

News Wrap Up - Governor Solicits Sex, More Gambling for Florida, and Droopy Pants

Videogames: Just Say No

Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex