Florida Marlins

Marlins Super Saturdays: Kevin Rudolf Says Heckle The Other Team

via kevinrudolf.com​Let it rock!This Saturday April 10th, and at each of 13 Saturday home games this season Florida Marlins games become Super Saturdays, major concert productions with national caliber acts followed by fan giveaways and firework shows.At the end of this season's first home game Ne ... More >>

Big League Chew

Marlins Owner Jeffrey Loria Went to Jared for Hanley Ramirez

​Last year, Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez won the National League batting title, so this past Saturday, team owner Jeffrey Loria gave him a pendant spelling out his batting average -- .342 -- in 394 diamonds, with a big teal diamond for the decimal point. Hanley then nearly choked on a choc ... More >>

Marlins Preview: That Silence You Hear Is Miami Preparing for Another Baseball Season

Wikimedia Commons via user Djh57. If Hanley Ramirez does some amazing shit but nobody's there to see it... it's still amazing.​They live, as quietly as cloistered monks, among us. They wash our dogs, write our blogs, prepare our taxes, and, you know, do other things people do for a living. ... More >>

Or You Could Just Show Up at Game Time and Pay $12

Apparently, there's more excitement about the upcoming Florida Marlins season than previously thought. This reasonable proposal was found on a bathroom wall -- Churchill's? -- and relayed to Deadspin: ​

Andre Dawson Pissed He Isn't Wearing a Cubs Hat on Hall Plaque, We're Pissed He's Not Pissed It's Not a Marlins Cap

Come on, we could totally see this image in bronze!​So recently inducted Hall of Famer and Miami product Andre Dawson is complaining that the Hall of Fame has him wearing the cap of the now-defunct Montreal Expos in his plaque, when he made it clear he wanted to be honored for all baseball-t ... More >>

Meet Your New Marlins Uniform: The Fish Drop the 'Florida' Next Year

News flash: Your Marlins baseball club is building a new stadium that will cost taxpayers $4.7 bagillion and, far more tragically, will probably not be sponsored by Jimmy Buffett's crappy beer. via MLB.com​In happier news, they will also drop the "Florida" from their name -- as if they were ... More >>

Marlins Looking to Sign Cuban Defector Aroldis Chapman

It's hard to imagine anything that would be all around better for the Marlins than signing pitcher Aroldis Chapman. They need another possible superstar, and an athlete who defected from Cuba would do wonders for whipping up the local fanbase.The Herald reports that the Fish offered Chapman a  ... More >>

News Roundup

Are the Marlins getting ready to fire manager Freddi Gonzalez? Seems like it, even though the team finished with its third best record ever, with a pitiful payroll. [NBCMiami]Homestead is gearing up for its first art gallery walk. Every town has them now, so why not Homestead? [Herald]Florida h ... More >>

The Florida Marlins Manatees shake two tons of booty

The Fish Get Busy

David Samson and Goliath

The Naked Truth

Good News, Bad News

Rent-a-Johnson

Hit the Disco Ball out of the Park

Satchel Paige's Years in Miami

Courtesy of Random House​Most baseball fans are familiar with Satchel Paige, the absolutely dominant Negro Leagues pitcher who played pro baseball for 40 years. In 1948, Bill Veeck, the legendary owner of the Cleveland Indians, finally gave the 41-year-old Paige a chance to pitch in th ... More >>

Peanuts, Cracker Jack, and a Closer, Please

Marlins Sweep Padres No Thanks to the Offense

Hanley has been a one-man band and without protection, teams will pitch around him.The Marlins' three game sweep of the Padres couldn't have come at a better time. The Fish had lost three devastating games to the Phillies at home and trailed last year's champions by seven games ... More >>

Even Without Amezaga, the Marlins Are the Most Mexican Team in the Majors

The author at a recent Marlins game.You're forgiven if you didn't catch the news that Marlins utility man Alfredo Amezaga will miss the rest of the baseball season to undergo knee surgery. Amezaga is scrappy and versatile, the type of player that can be the glue that holds a team together th ... More >>

News Roundup

The ground for the Marlins' new stadium was broken. [AP]Meanwhile, Jackson Healthy System is bleeding money with a broken financial support system. [Herald]Meet Randy Young, landlord king of the sex offenders. [NBCMiami]The teenage son of a Miami district fire chief drowned in a central Florida lake ... More >>

He Is Legend

Midseason Marlins: Uggh-la, Trade for Branyan, and Here Come the Phillies

Hanley is one of the best players in the league, but even Batman needs Robin.Dan Uggla has yet to recover from last year's disastrous All-Star game. He committed three errors and struck out three times in that Midsummer Classic. Since that game, he is hitting .227 with 25 homers while st ... More >>

Foot Parade

Rush Limbaugh is Apparently the New Lead Singer of KC and the Sunshine Band

Rush- er, KC- valiantly burps down a heart attack during his July 4 concert at Landshark Stadium Since 2007, the Marlins have held their "Super Saturday" free concerts after Saturday night home games in a ploy to get people to attend games even if not for the baseball. The concerts sometimes s ... More >>

I’m the Ross

The Yankees Are in Town! And They Bring Their Prices With Them

Some of the largest crowds of the season are expected at Land Shark Stadium when the Marlins take on the Yankees this weekend and the Marlins' brass hopes to earn some serious coin. Fans interested in catching a glimpse of a 2003 World Series rematch will be subjected to big ticket price hikes. Acc ... More >>

WSJ Says the Marlins Are One Of the Dumbest Teams in Baseball

You already know the Marlins aren't so hot at this whole baseball-playin' gig. Last night, they went 0 for 15 with runners in scoring position and tanked another game at Fenway Park.via Wikimedia CommonsOh, Hanley. What would Ben Stein say?But even as they sink into the depths of the NL East, the Fi ... More >>

Marlins Drop Game One to Red Sox 8-2

The Florida Marlins kicked off their AL East six-game gauntlet by losing to the Red Sox 8-2 in a brisk game that lasted just two and a half hours, but was over long before that. Starter Chris Volstad, who took the loss and fell to 4-7, threw well for three innings but was greeted in the fourth ... More >>

Mascot Wars

Give Thanks -- You Almost Got Stuck Rooting for the Florida Flamingos

All team names are far from created equal. Some basic math: Celtics > Raptors; Red Sox > Devil Rays; Colts > Texans; and everyone on a field, rink, or pitch outside of Anaheim laughed their asses off at the Mighty Ducks until they wised up and lost the Disney adjective a few years ago.via Wikimedia ... More >>

Searching for Answers

Reality Check

News Roundup

LocalJohn McCain gives his support to Charlie Crist. Do you think he'll send Meghan to Florida to campaign and "get in touch" with "young people"? Please send Meghan. [NBCMiami]Two thugs attacked a man in a wheelchair and stole his necklace. The entire thing was caught on camera. [CBS4]The 'North Da ... More >>

The Other Ramirez

Florida Flounder

Goodbye, Kath & Kim, You Strange Little Show

When Kath & Kim debuted, we were pretty sure the show was set in South Florida. There was talk of driving on I-95 and Gloria Estefan Boulevard, and a deal was in the works to include the Marlins in an episode, but by the end of the season, the characters were talking openly about living in Cen ... More >>

Dear License Plate Jesus, Take Away This Swine Flu and Give Us Back Our Bea Arthur

What a roller coaster this swine flu, excuse me, H1N1 is: First someone jumped the gun on reporting the first case in Florida, a lady traveled through Miami carrying the virus, then 20 suspected cases in Miami-Dade were sent for testing. None of those came back positive, but two others in Florida di ... More >>

It’s a Bear Market for Baseball

Marlins Finally Win Again! Now a Reputable News Source Says They Will Win It All

Time to shave that Rasputin-length win-beard. The Marlins are at last back in the win column after a season start that can only be described as more confusing than Charlie Crist's sexuality.via Wikipedia CommonsEven with Han-Ram on the bench, the streak ended.Somehow the Fish won 11 freaking games b ... More >>

Will the Marlins ever win again?

Wikimedia CommonsOur win beard is becoming unruly. We were on the top of the world, and getting everybody's attention. Regis Philbin inserted the Marlins into his daily Senile Round-up. Philadelphia sportswriters were warning fans that the Phillies had more than the Mets to worry about. "They're not ... More >>

Who Ordered the Marlin Roll?

Boots With the Furrr Are Completely Unacceptable Today

Shear Happiness

It's spring, and that means the Marlins are back.

Glenn Straub: Too little too late

Hey Glenn Straub. I WANT to watch baseball downtown,. I WANT to TAKE the Metromover to games,But I wish you would just shut up.Straub penned a letter to the public (which you can find on the jump) defending his idea for a downtown stadium. But we've moved too far with the Little Havana stadium and I ... More >>

Marlins Balk in Overtown

Recently, I noted the Florida Marlins were in desperate need of a good closer to seal the deal in the team's decade long quest for a new ball park. Well, they have an opportunity to get themselves one of the wealthiest relief pitchers in the real estate game to help them out. But don't expect Marlin ... More >>

Marlins Deal Kaput?

The Florida Marlins are in desperate need of a great closer. Someone who can seal the deal with the Miami City Commission and the Miami-Dade County Commission over the team's sweetheart $630 million stadium deal. Right now the Marlins dreams of a new domed home on the former Orange Bowl site appear ... More >>

Wait, the Marlins Are Playing Baseball This Year?

With all the hullaballo and hubbub over the giant tax-pit ... um ... new Marlins Stadium proposal, it's easy to forget that the Fish are still a baseball team and the new season is almost upon us. It's a shame, really. For true baseball fans, Spring Training is the best time of the year. Everyone's ... More >>

Joe Six-Pack Spirit

Florida Marlins hold open tryouts for their big-man dance squad.

We Won The World Series