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In Evocateur, Morton Downey Jr. Roars Again

Pam Bondi Talks to TMZ About Ochocinco; TMZ Then Asks if You'd Have Sex With Her

Congratulations, Pam Bondi! As far as we can tell, you're the first state attorney general in history who has ever given an exclusive statement to muckraking gossip website TMZ. Then again, as someone who used to be a Fox News legal analyst, maybe you don't have high standards about what media you'l ... More >>

Venus and Serena Demystifies the Williams Sisters

University of Central Florida on Lockdown After Police Find Explosives, Dead Man in Dorm

When police at the University of Central Florida responded to a fire alarm in a dorm early this morning, they found a nightmare scenario: one man dead of a gunshot wound inside a dorm room full of improvised explosives and heavy weaponry.UCF has now canceled classes and evacuated hundreds of student ... More >>

Marco Rubio Doesn't Care If You Lose Your Job Because of the Sequester, But Rick Scott Does

Congress has until midnight tomorrow to avoid the threat of a sequester, and Florida's two most prominent Republicans seem to have different attitudes on the situation. Sen. Marco Rubio, oddly, doesn't think sequestration is ideal, but doesn't seem to mind it too much. He told Fox News this morning ... More >>

Fox News Radio Mocks 102-Year-Old Miami Woman Who Waited in Line Hours to Vote

During President Obama's State of the Union address he honored Desiline Victor, a 102-year-old North Miami Beach resident who waited hours in line to vote, as a symbol of voter's rights issues. Of course, leave it to Fox News to mock her.Fox and Friends' Brian Kilmeade hosts a radio show on Fox Radi ... More >>

Fidel Castro Is Not Senile, Still "Working Hard," His Son Says

Nary a single "crush the American oligarchy!" has been heard from Fidel Castro since June, when el jefe's regular columns began devolving into the kind of bizarre, haiku-like rants found only in assisted living facility newsletters or Dadaist art collectives.But any fears that the Bearded One has go ... More >>

Marina Abramovic: The Artist Is Present: A New Doc Examines Her the Way She Did Us

Marc Anthony, Gloria Estefan, Other Latin Megastars Doing Tony Bennett's Viva Duets

George W. Bush knew that he had "made a mistake" when he sent troops into Iraq, according Tony Bennett. "He told me personally [at the 2005 Kennedy Center Honors]." At 86 years old, society sort of gives you a get-out-of-jail-free card. You can say pretty much whatever you want. Outlandish stateme ... More >>

Video of Rick Scott and Pam Bondi Learning Obamacare Was Struck Down, and Then Realizing It Wasn't

See also "Obamacare Is American As Apple Pie and Free Speech" and "Obamacare Ruled Constitutional by Supreme Court; Sorry, Pam Bondi."This is nothing even close to Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-Ohio) erupting into shrieks of joy upon learning of false reports that the individual mandate of the Affordable Car ... More >>

Are Connie Mack and Marco Rubio Dumb? The Grade Level They Speak At Suggests It

The Sunlight Foundation has noticed an interesting and perhaps even troubling trend about the people who make our laws: the grade level that members of Congress speak at has taken a noticeable dip since 2005. The average member of Congress spoke at an 11.5 grade level in 2005, but now speaks at a 10 ... More >>

"Backwoods" Country Singer Calls Ashton Kutcher a "Douche"

Not Demi, but Justin. "Backwoods" country singer Justin Moore thinks Ashton Kutcher was out of line by showing up at the American Country Music Awards this past weekend dressed like a rodeo clown, rocking a goofy cowboy hat and even goofier red suit. After Sunday night's ACM Awards, Moore sucke ... More >>

Trayvon Martin and Five Other Racial Flare-Ups Since Obama's Election

​So much for post-racial politics. The tragic shooting of Miami teenager Trayvon Martin last month by neighborhood watch volunteer George Zimmerman has once again exposed America's deep racial fault lines. Jesse Jackson quickly announced that "blacks are under attack." White supremacist websites c ... More >>

Poll: Obama Will Crush Any Republican in Latino Vote, Unless Marco Rubio Is VP Nominee

​A new poll, commissioned by Fox News Latino, suggests that whichever Republican candidate emerges as the presidential nominee has very little hope of capturing the Hispanic vote. Seventy-three percent of Latino voters say they approve of Obama's job performance, and in head-to-head match ups ... More >>

Forget the Puppy Bowl: Five Animal Showdowns We'd Rather See

​"What's the Puppy Bowl," you reluctantly ask? It's Animal Planet exploiting a bunch of cute puppies and forcing them to play their own brand of football on national television on Super Bowl Sunday. Yes, it's a thing.The fact that people even enjoy rugby's pussy little cousin football at all is su ... More >>

Charlie Crist Says He Might Just Vote for Obama

​What a difference four years make. Back in 2008, Charlie Crist played a crucial in the Republican primary by working to deliver Florida to John McCain. Now, in 2012, he's so fed up with shenanigans of this Primary season that according to Politico the now independent says he might just end up vot ... More >>

A New Year's Eve TV Guide for Proud Homebodies and Couch Potatoes

​VIP this, general admission that ... New Year's Eve is totally overrated. Why deal with hoards of drunk buffoons sporting ridiculously goofy 2012 sunglasses, overpriced prix-fixe menu options, and endless DUI checkpoints when you can slip into your Forever Lazy and ring in the New Year from y ... More >>

Matt Drudge Attacks Obama's Birthday Party, Possibly Thinks Stevie Wonder Is a Gangster Rapper

​President Barack Obama is 50! Fifty years old! Last night he celebrated the milestone with a group of political allies, close friends, a few celebrities, and musical guests. It was a far more restrained affair than President Bill Clinton's 50th birthday bash in 1996, but Miami-based conservative ... More >>

Jeb Bush: "I'm Never Ruling Out Being on Dancing with the Stars"

​Could former Florida Governor Jeb Bush be following in the dainty footsteps of other conservative figures like Tom Delay, Tucker Carlson, and Bristol Palin, and strapping on a dance belt for a run on Dancing With the Stars? Probably not, but the former Governor says he'd never rule it out.

Casey Anthony Verdict Justifies Guantanamo Bay Tribunals Claims Republican Leader Mitch McConnell

​Who knew the Casey Anthony verdict would have implications on the United States' interpretation of the Geneva Conventions? According to Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell, the failure of a Florida jury to convict Anthony proves the need to try terrorist suspects at military tribunals outsid ... More >>

Muslim Brotherhood Has Nazi Roots, Argues Florida Author John Loftus

wikimedia commonsThe emblem of the Muslim Brotherhood, which one Florida historian claims was founded on Nazi ideology​John Loftus knows him some Nazis.The former Department of Justice prosecutor and St. Petersburg native has made a career out of revealing what he says is the US government's deepe ... More >>

Introducing the New Disqus Commenting System

​We know how much you love the Captcha commenting system now in use on Crossfade. Who doesn't enjoy struggling to read nonsensical phrases to prove they aren't evil robots. We hate to break it to you, but Captcha is going away. Crossfade and the other Miami New Times blogs are switching to Dis ... More >>

Introducing the New Disqus Commenting System

​We know how much you love the Captcha commenting system now in use on Short Order. Who doesn't enjoy struggling to read nonsensical phrases to prove they aren't evil robots. We hate to break it to you, but Captcha is going away. Short Order and the other Miami New Times blogs are switching to ... More >>

Introducing the New Disqus Commenting System

​We know how much you love the Captcha commenting system now in use on Riptide. Who doesn't enjoy struggling to read nonsensical phrases to prove they aren't evil robots. We hate to break it to you, but Captcha is going away. Riptide and the other Miami New Times blogs are switching to Disqus ... More >>

George W. Bush At The Miami Book Fair: The Live Blog

​Dubya is in Miami! To be more exact, he's downtown at the Miami Book Fair International, shilling his new memoir, Flapjacks: My Favorite Breakfast Treat. No, that's not right. Decision Points! It's all about the Decider's finest moments of deciding, apparently.Riptide is here, too, to bring you t ... More >>

What the Hell is Wrong with the Florida Democratic Party?

​The Florida Democratic Party has nearly 600,000 more registered voters in the state than the Republicans, yet last night they failed miserably in delivering on a single important race. Their Governor candidate lost to a man who ran a company involved in the biggest Medicare fraud case in American ... More >>

Rick Sanchez Begins His Rehabilitation Tour

​After offering an official written apology earlier this week, Rick Sanchez continues to do damage control for his outburst over Jon Stewart. This morning not only did he sit down with Good Morning America, but also gave interview to radio and online media. Even his former bosses at CNN think he's ... More >>

Letters from the issue of September 30, 2010

Tea Partiers in Doral: Who are these people?

Stephen Colbert Takes on Uncle Luke's Ground Zero Mosque Column

​For the second time this year, a story premiering on this humble little blog, Riptide, has served as fodder for jokes on The Colbert Report. First, Stephen Colbert took on homophobic, rent-boy-lovin' George Rekers, and last night, the host roasted New Times columnist and 2 Live Crew founder Luthe ... More >>

Anniversary of the Apocalypse

Luke's Gospel Propels Elena Kagan to Supreme Court

Uncle Luke confirmed Elena Kagan before the U.S. Senate did. ​Turns out Luke's Gospel is indeed the word, the truth we all seek. Miami New Times columnist Luther Campbell penned an opinion piece on Elena Kagan, which was cited by several national media outlets, including Vanity Fair, Rolling Stone ... More >>

Lt. Gov. Jeff Kottkamp Will Endorse Marco Rubio, Hasn't Spoken to Charlie Crist in Months

Kottkamp (right) and Crist (left) in happier times with some old guy, we think Sarah Palin's grandpa.​Lt. Gov. Jeff Kottkamp will betray the man who helped raise the former Ft. Myers-area state rep from political obscurity to, um, political semi-obscurity by announcing he's endorsing Marco Rubio f ... More >>

Letters from the issue of May 13, 2010

Video: Stephen Colbert Names George Rekers His 'Alpha Dog of the Week'

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30cAlpha Dog of the Week - George Rekerswww.colbertnation.comColbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorFox NewsNew Times' scoop on anti-gay leader George Rekers's European tryst with a gay hooker from Rentboy.com inspired its finest moment yet la ... More >>

Anti-Obama Urologist Admits He Doesn't Know Much About HRC Bill

​Dr. Jack Cassell, the dick doctor in Orlando who hates President Obama so much he put up a sign telling those who voted for him to get their urinary tracts checked elsewhere, has been all over the media. CNN, Fox News, the New York Times, you name it. He was even on Alan Colmes's show. ... More >>

Victoria Jackson: "The President Is a Communist" Fox News: "He Is Not a Communist"

Our old friend, Miami native and Saturday Night Live alum Victoria Jackson, was on the Fox News show Fox & Friends today. She's as crazy as ever, or as Gawker put it: "just a touch too crazy for Fox." She was plugging her appearance with Sarah Palin ("my hero") this weekend at a Tea Pa ... More >>

Attention Whore Alan Grayson in Trouble for Calling Someone a Whore

​Excuse us as we once again divert attention to hot liberal mess Alan Grayson, Orlando-area Democratic congressman. The man who's mouth cannot stop flapping is in hot water again, after calling Linda Robertson, and advisor to Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernake, a "K Street whore" on a radio ... More >>

Top Ten Thursdays: Top Ten Songs for Obama Haters

via rpof.orgJim Greer thinks censorship is very American.​All summer long I have gone shit-house-rat-crazy observing the likes of Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly, Karl Rove and the rest of The Right's evil elite dispense fear-mongering falsehoods in a desperate attempt to stop some much nee ... More >>

Rick Sanchez's Crack Shame

Rick Sanchez is our favorite twitter friend ever, but when he started tweeting last night about heady topics such as God, Hitler, and Torquemada, we thought he might be on something. Then he posted, "i am high on crack right now might not be coming to work today." Aha! Rick Sanchez, we always knew i ... More >>

Porter, Fins Lay a Beatdown on Niners

The two most vicious hits in Sunday's Dolphins-49ers defensive power struggle both came in the waning minutes of the ballgame. First, with the Niners sitting in the red zone, trying to punch in a touchdown and take their first lead of the day, a bunch of security guys absolutely destroyed some ... More >>

Pitbull Knows Money is Still a Major Issue

Florida Federation of Republican Women Need a Reality Check

Daily Show Visits Florida's Most Powerful Voting Block, Jewish Retirees

Michael the Black Man Trashes Obama

A former cult member crashed the UM rally.

Wyclef, Kanye West, and N.E.R.D. to perform at the Democratic National Convention

Fahrenheit 2004

Remembering the movies that heated up cinemas this year

Nukes in the Florida Room

Film festival in South Beach faces elections head-on

Dog Day Afternoon

Man and beast do brunch

Bush Comes to Shove

Like America's current leaders, Viggo and Hidalgo try to "enlighten" the Arabs with Western justice