Erik Spoelstra

  • Blogs

    January 28, 2014

    Battioke: Heat Organization Comes Out in Full Force for South Beach Battioke 2014

    What's it like watching professional basketball players step completely out of their comfort zone? No one would know better than legendary basketball guru and Miami Heat president Pat Riley. "Tomorrow is probably going to be the funnest day of the year at practice," the 68-year-old Riley said at th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 21, 2013

    Heat Stomps Magic 120-92, Wade Sits Second Consecutive Game

    The Miami Heat beat the Orlando Magic Wednesday night 120-92. Miami was once again down Dwyane Wade, who sat out the game because of that same damn knee. James Jones started and proceeded to drop 17 points while shooting 5-7 from three-point range. LeBron James led the Heat with 21 points, six rebou ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 20, 2013

    Heat Beat Hawks 104-88: "Where LeBron Eyebrows At?"

    Back in action Tuesday night, the Heat took on the Atlanta Hawks, a rebuilt team, and by rebuilt, I mean I just watched them play for 48 minutes and I'm still not entirely sure who plays for them. Oh, and the Heat won 104-88, minus a resting Dwyane Wade. After a scoreless first quarter, LeBron f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 13, 2013

    Heat vs. Bucks: LeBron Is Lord of the Rings; 20 Tweets That Tell the Story

    Entering Tuesday night's game against the Milwaukee Bucks, LeBron James made it clear that all this losing stuff isn't cute to him anymore, and he politely requests that his teammates help cut that shit out. "We've been playing defensively like sh--, no doubt about it. I'm frustrated right now. We ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 15, 2013

    Heat Breaks Franchise Record for Home Wins, Beats Bulls 105-93

    LeBron James scored 24 points and Dwyane Wade had 22, leading the Heat to a 105-93 victory over the Chicago Bulls Sunday. The win moved Miami to 36-4, breaking the prior record of 35-6 set by the 2004-05 Heat.Chalmers and Birdman Andersen both scored 15 in the win, while Carlos Boozer finished with ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 18, 2013

    The Heat's Winning Streak Hits 22, the Second-Longest Ever, With Victory Over Raptors

    For a moment on this lazy Sunday afternoon in Toronto, it seemed as though it might all end for the Miami Heat exactly where it began. For a moment. With the game tied at 77 early in the fourth, the Heat turned on, well, the heat, blasting off on a 28-4 run to help secure a win for the 22nd straight ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 25, 2013

    Heat Pull Out 11th Straight, Beat Cavs 109-105

    No Oscars were awarded for Dwyane Wade's fourth-quarter performance Sunday night. Just another Miami Heat win, that's all. With his team down seven with just under four minutes to go, the man they once called "Flash" played the role of superhero, scoring 11 of his 24 in the game's final five minutes ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 21, 2013

    Rejoice, Miami: Chris "Birdman" Andersen Is Now a Member of the Heat

    In a move that's a longshot to fix the Miami Heat's rebounding woes but is a surefire, lead pipe lock to fix the lack of hilarious people on the Heat to write about on local blogs, the team has signed Chris "Birdman" Andersen, the heavily tatooed big man last seen leaving Denver amidst a federal pro ... More >>

  • News

    July 5, 2012
  • Blogs

    June 29, 2012

    Ozzie Guillen Wishes He Was Erik Spoelstra

    While the Miami Heat paraded down Biscayne Boulevard on Monday, hoisting their trophy from the top of double-decker buses, all Marlins Manager Ozzie Guillen could do was watch. He'd been there before. Once as a member of the coaching staff of the 2003 Marlins, and again as the manager of the Chicago ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 27, 2012

    "Whereas... LeBron James Decided to Take His Talent to South Beach": The Awesome Congressional Resolution Congratulating The Heat

    It seems that Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen went all fan girl when drafting up a Congressional resolution to congratulate the Miami Heat on their NBA championship, because the thing is actually the rare Congressional measure that's a pleasure to read. It's basically a manifesto on why the Heat are just s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 21, 2012

    29 Ways for Miami to Celebrate If the Heat Clinch the Title Tonight

    If the Heat wins tonight, it will be a citywide fist punch to the fart box of all the haters around the world. Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook can go back to wearing their lensless glasses in the obscurity of Oklahoma City. And Charles Barkley can quietly choke on his stupid diet meals.Miami can' ... More >>

  • News

    June 14, 2012
  • Blogs

    June 8, 2012

    Things More Popular Than Rick Scott: LeBron James, Gay Marriage

    Floridians continue to hate Gov. Rick Scott. In fact, 56 presently disapprove of his job handling, while only 31 percent approve. Things as polarizing as the Miami Heat and gay marriage are actually more popular in the state right now. Public Policy Polling decided to just ask Floridians how they fe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 7, 2012

    If The Heat Lose Tonight, Who Might Not Be Wearing a Miami Jersey Next Year?

    This is a silly, stupid little post to be writing. The Heat will of course stage a magnificent comeback tonight and go on to emerge victorious in the finals, because whatever powers that rule the universe will decide to give Miami, this muggy land of hurricanes, poverty, foreclosures and zombie atta ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 6, 2012

    Heat Choke Away Game 5, One Loss Away From Elimination

    Holy fucking ass clenching horsefuckery, this team!!The Miami Heat had everything in its favor. A game at home. A 13-point lead in the second quarter. A 9-point lead in the third. The Boston Celtics stars struggling on offense. A chance to go up 3-2 and force Boston to win two games in a row.And yet ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 29, 2012

    LeBron James Leads Heat in Blowout Over Knicks In Game 1 of Eastern Conference Quarterfinals

    For all the regular season ups and downs, accolades and drama, people celebrating in the streets with pots and pans when the Miami Heat won, people setting themselves on fire when they lost, the real NBA games that count finally got kicked off yesterday. And with everyone saying that the season will ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 17, 2012

    LeBron James Scores 17 in the Final Five Minutes To Lead Win Over Nets

    Up until the last 50 seconds of last night's 101-98 win over the New Jersey Nets, the Miami Heat were flat out refusing to give a single fuck. Oh they had fucks. Had them stored away somewhere. Perhaps in a box inside a FedEx truck marked "playoffs." But they just weren't going to be giving any away ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 11, 2012

    Heat Loses to the Celtics at Home, Falls Three Games Behind Number One Seed

    LeBron James scored a game-high 36 points last night, while the rest of the Miami Heat stood and watched as the Boston Celtics shot 60 percent from the floor in yet another listless-shit-the-bed-let's-all-go-outside-and-punt-a-litter-of-kittens-loss by the Heat.Rajon Rondo once again had his way aga ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 2, 2012

    Heat Turns In Worst Offensive Performance of Year, Loses to Celtics

    ​The Miami Heat has been unstoppable at home since the All-Star break. On the road, however, the team has been a big, heaping pile of ass. And that was certainly the case yesterday during their 91-72 gag reflex of a loss to the Boston Celtics.Rajon Rondo recorded a triple-double against Miami's de ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 22, 2012

    Udonis Haslem Really Is Thinking About Running for Mayor of Miami

    After last night's game against the Kings, Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra joked that Udonis Haslem will "eventually mayor of this town." Turns out that Haslem has actually given some thought to a political future, and may someday actually run for mayor of Miami. Watch out, Tomas Regalado.&nbs ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 18, 2012

    LeBron Goes Off, Heat Win, All is Well

    It took three games and a half of shitty basketball, but the Miami Heat finally got their mojo working in the second half of last night's game, and eventually blew away the visiting San Antonio Spurs 120-98.With a hobbled Dwyane Wade unable to play on his birthday, it was up to LeBron James and Chri ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 17, 2012

    NBA GM Survey: Heat Will Win Championship, LeBron Has Good Shot at MVP

    ​It's tough to find a group of people who know the NBA more than the league's own group of general managers. For the tenth year in a row, surveyed all 30 GMs to get their take on the state of the league, and 74.1 percent think the Miami Heat will win the NBA Championship. They also think L ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 12, 2012

    Heat Miss Roughly A Billion Free Throws, Lose Battle of Lob Cities

    ​In a game that was billed as Lob City East vs. Lob City West, the Heat lost mostly thanks to their inability to hit free throws, as well as some pretty shitty officiating, giving them their second overtime loss in two nights as they fell to the LA Clippers 95-89. It was also the second straight n ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 23, 2011

    Don't Make Chris Bosh Angry

    ​The Miami Heat took down the tough Chicago Bulls 96-85 in an Eastern Conference Finals Game 3 that featured tough defense, gay slurs, Miami fans berating Charles Barkley, LeBron James obliterating Kyle Korver, and Chris Bosh exploding all over Chicago's face. The Heat now have a 2-1 lead in the b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 12, 2011

    LeBron James' Clutch Balls

    ​LeBron James has taken a lot of shit this year. Mainly because he decided to exercise his perfectly legal right to join another team through free agency. SO EVIL! And then he went and celebrated his signing with the Heat in front of the local fans with a fire works show. SO IMPERIOUS!He's also ha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 28, 2011

    Heat Playoffs: Heat Close Out 76ers, On To Boston

    ​Dwyane Wade scored 26, Chris Bosh added 22 and LeBron James finished two assists shy of a triple-double in last night's 97-91 win over the Philadelphia 76ers.But, more importantly, we finally have the answer to the who should have the ball in his hands with the game on the line at crunch time? qu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 22, 2011

    Heat Playoffs: Late-Game Rally Gives Miami 3-0 Edge

    ​The Philadelphia 76ers jumped to an early lead, keeping the Miami Heat at bay for much of Game 3.And then the Heat said enough of that already and rallied their way to a 100-94 comeback win to take a commanding 3-0 series lead.The Heat should know that, although we fans like it when they win, we' ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 30, 2011

    It's The End of the World As We Know It!: Cavs Stun Heat

    ​It's Christmas morning for the Heat Haters Dick Biters Brigade! Because the lowly 15-58 Cleveland Cavaliers took down and exacted revenge on LeBron James and the Miami Heat last night in a 102-90 win.The Heat were outplayed and out hustled on both ends of the floor. And even though they eventuall ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 15, 2011

    Heat Avenge 30-Point Loss to the Spurs With 30-Point Win

    ​Just ten days ago, the Miami Heat were in the midst of a five-game losing streak that included a season sweep at the hands of the Chicago Bulls and a press conference where head coach Erik Spoelstra told everyone that his players were crying after a loss. In the mix was also a 30-point loss to th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 7, 2011

    Miami Heat Have Yet Another Late-Game Meltdown, Get Swept By Bulls

    ​The Miami Heat had yet another late-game collapse, losing yet another game at the buzzer and going down to yet another playoff-caliber team when they lost 87-86 to the Chicago Bulls yesterday. And while the Heat are now 0-6 against the Celtics and Bulls, and 1-9 against the NBA's top five teams, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 4, 2011

    LeBron James Decides Heat's Nickname is "The Heatles," Unfortunately

    ​Back when LeBron James and Chris Bosh joined Dwyane Wade down here in Miami there was a mini-obsession with finding the perfect nickname for them. There was talks of Miami Thrice, MV3, the James Gang, and even three-headed shitstorm. Though, we never really settled on anything, did we? Well, the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2010

    Heat Fall to the Celtics, Drop to 5-4

    ​"It's reality now. The chemistry isn't at the level of these good teams." So said LeBron James following the Heat's 112-107 loss the Boston Celtics Thursday night at the American Airlines Arena. The Heat have now dropped 13 of the last 14 regular season meetings to the Celtics, have fallen t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 26, 2010

    Live Blog: Heat vs. Celtics

    ​Have no one to watch tonight's Heat-Celtics NBA season debut with? You do have someone to watch it with but they don't provide the same award-winning rapier wit-like banter you find here on your friendly neighborhood Miami New Times blog?Well have no fear! Because the Riptide 2.0 Heat vs. Celtics ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 16, 2010

    Penny Hardaway Wants to Come Back to the Heat

    ​Penny Hardaway has a lot to be proud of: four times an NBA All-Star, an Olympic gold medalist, and the world's most memorable basketball puppet. What he doesn't have, however, is a championship ring. Maybe that's why he wants to come out of retirement and play, once more, for the Heat.

  • News

    July 15, 2010
  • Blogs

    July 12, 2010

    In Miami, Greed Is Good Again, and It's All Thanks to Evil Genius Pat Riley

    Terez Owens​For a city that made a mound of cocaine a must-have desktop accessory and likes its Brittos to match its Lamborghinis, this level of glossy athletic excess is only appropriate: Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, and LeBron James, three of the best ballers in the NBA, all descending on Miami to b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 7, 2010

    Rumor: LeBron Flying to Miami Tonight; Fact: Spoelstra Likely to Remain Heat Coach

    ​Even with a major piece of the NBA free-agency puzzle being settled this morning, rumors continue to fly while others are put to rest. That one about Pat Riley reinstating himself as coach of the Heat? As far as Chris Bosh has heard, current coach Eric Spoelstra is staying put. That one about LeB ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 1, 2010

    Free Agency: Heat Has Already Contacted Amare Stoudemire and Chris Bosh

    ​The NBA's free-agency period began at midnight, which means we can finally start getting some facts to go with all of the insane rumors and mindless speculation. Our Miami Heat, which has basically put all of its eggs in this year's free-agency basket, is already hard at work trying to woo big na ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 28, 2010

    Dwyane Wade Denies He's Visiting Knicks; Meanwhile Radio Host Tweets LeBron and Bosh Coming to Miami

    ​This past Friday, ESPN's Ian O'Connor made a million Miami hearts sink by reporting Dwyane Wade was set to visit the New York Knicks this Thursday, the same day Chris Bosh and LeBron James were said to be meeting with the struggling franchise in the nation's biggest media market. However, th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 26, 2010

    Miami Heat vs. Chicago Bulls: Moving On Up

    ​Jermaine O'Neal must be an avid reader of Riptide, because last night it looked like he was motivated by one of our posts when he led the Heat to one of its most lopsided victories of the season. The team ripped the Bulls a new one to the tune of 103-74.O'Neal got to the business of kic ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 1, 2010

    Miami Heat vs. Orlando Magic: Behind the Eight Ball

    ​Well, it's official. Dwyane Wade needs a crap-load of help. Sure it was great to see D-Wade back in action last night after being sidelined with a strained calf since February 17. But even with Wade doing his usual routine of denting asses in a single bound, the Miami Heat continued to suffer fro ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 4, 2009

    The Heat Is Done. Now Can We All Agree the Team Drafted the Wrong Guy?

    The Heat's season ended yesterday pretty much the same way it played out all year long -- as a one-man D-Wade show. via Wikimedia CommonsOops. Wrong pick.Unfortunately for the Heat, Sunday's game was one of those "Wade can't possibly carry these clowns all by himself" duds, instead of those "Holy cr ... More >>

  • Calendar

    March 12, 2009
  • Calendar

    January 22, 2009

    Streak Busters

    The Heat hosts the red-hot Orlando Magic.

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