The Miami Heat kicked off their 2013 training camp Tuesday in the Bahamas, because of course they did, officially kicking off their attempt at back-to-back-to-back NBA titles, or as many are terming it, "Three-Heat." The team largely returns most of the same key components that led them to the past ... More >>
Traitor! Judas! Backstabber! Apparently there is no "305 til' I die (or get fired)" clause in Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra's contract, because Spo gave a big pep talk to the Seattle Seahawks. Well, at least the Dolphins won't be playing the Seahawks this season.
You're a freshly crowned, back-to-back NBA champ. The world is your oyster, and you're in one of the greatest party cities on Earth. Where do you live it up? LeBron, D-Wade, Ray Allen, and Udonis Haslem all celebrated their new rings at Story Nightclub in South Beach, dancing onstage with Drake wh ... More >>
Damn, it (must) feel good to be a gangsta. And by gangsta, we mean the Miami Heat. After slaughtering the San Antonio Spurs and racking up the third NBA title in franchise history last night, Miami's best professional sports team celebrated its incredible victory till the wee hours of Friday morn ... More >>
Down 16 in the first half to the Heat's most hated rival, it looked as if Miami's 13-game winning streak was in a boatload of trouble. Good thing for the Heat it happens to have the B.O.A.T., AKA the man Pat Riley calls the "Best of All Time." Captain Cobra Dick to the rescue, once again. Hissssssss ... More >>
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to th ... More >>
Apparently, the "Shit ____ Say" video meme is still trudging along. Which means at this point in a meme's lifespan we wouldn't be drawing attention to any new entries unless they were pretty good. And this "Stuff Miami Heat Fans Say" video is pretty good.
Holy shit bananas, that was rough.The Miami Heat dropped a gut-wrenching loss to the Chicago Bulls 96-86 in overtime last night.And while the game is meaningless in terms of overall playoff importance, it still feels like Heat fans got their collective cocks slammed in a Metrobus door. WILL SOMEONE ... More >>
Weirdly enough, the Miami Heat only play like a bag of shit on the road, because they remain as dominant as ever at home. LeBron James dropped a season-high 41 points -- 15 in the fourth quarter -- as the Heat took down the Philadelphia 76ers 99-93 last night, winning their 16th straight home g ... More >>
Remember last year around this time? You know, when the Heat were actually playing basketball. Not very good basketball mind you, and fans thought that coach Erik Spoelstra was sure to get a pink slip? Well, he managed to turn things around and get the team to the Finals, and thanks to a new cont ... More >>
The Heat may not have a celebration quite like last year's infamous pre-season pep rally planned to kick off the season -- but maybe that's because they want you to relive that welcoming party all over again. The Heat are about to unleash a documentary film, Into the Fire, and lucky fans will get ... More >>
via The OnionOh, no, Spo' won't go. According to reports from The Boston Globe (of all papers), Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra's job is safe for next year. Its sources also claim that at no point in the season was Spoelstra's job ever in danger.
After winning Game six 105-95, the Dallas Mavericks are NBA champions. Meanwhile, the Miami Heat are left with a shitload of questions, LeBron James will continue to be haunted by his Finals failure, and Heat fans everywhere are walking around feeling like their favorite uncle just placed his wie ... More >>
The NBA Finals feels like Miami versus the World, but there's at least an entire other nation rooting wildly for the Heat: The Philippines. Yes, Coach Erik Spoelstra's mother is a native of the Pacific nation, and Spoelstra is the first Filipino-American head coach of any major North American pro ... More >>
The Douche Strikes Back!After roughly 5,836 days in between games, the Miami Heat finally resumed their Eastern Conference semi-final series against the Celtics in Boston. The end result wasn't as awesome as Games 1 and 2, in that the Heat got creamed pretty badly.But the good news is Erik Spoels ... More >>
Who do you blame when a team with unparalleled marquee talent finds themselves lost in a string of embarrassing losses? Increasingly, fans and haters alike have begun to call for the firing of Miami Heat head coach Erik Spoelstra, with many theorizing it's only a matter of time until Heat president ... More >>
Alex IzaguirreUncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special online edition, Luke says the Miami Heat will start winning again when Chris Bosh starts getting the bal ... More >>
The Heat racked up their fourth loss in a row last night, a sorry streak made all the more troubling that they came against other likely playoff bound teams. You'd think the shame factor from the losses alone would be enough, but, oh no, here comes Erik Spoelstra, a goofy-faced 12-year-old Muppet ... More >>
Dwyane Wade's magic goggles seemed to run out of awesome juice in the fourth quarter of Thursday night's 93-88 loss to the New York Knicks.Because after Wade started the game hitting pretty much every shot he threw up (except his free throws... hit those goddamn free throws, D-Wade!!), he missed ... More >>
Apparently, LeBron James sometimes forgets he's part of the Miami Heat's big three and acts like a member of another famous trio: Larry, Curly, and Moe. Dwyane Wade is dealing with serious migraine headaches and has been wearing special, slightly funny-looking glasses to deal with light sensitivi ... More >>
Look at the way he holds up his jersey. DISGUSTING!It's well known that the majority of the mainstream media (re: all of them, pretty much) hate LeBron James and the Miami Heat. But mostly, they hate LeBron James. So much so that they've gone to great lengths to tell us all what a quitter, fraud, ... More >>
Back in October (when NBA championships are totally decided), ESPN columnist and consummate Heat Dick-Biter, Bill Simmons, wrote that the Big Three's biggest problem will be when they hit the road, because everyone hates them and that makes them all sad: I could see the Heat running the slate [ ... More >>
Miami Heat Coach Erik Spoelstra's days be numbered. Fans and sports commentators are already eager to see him gone and the Miami Heat players themselves may be about to join that bandwagon. ESPN reports that the players are growing increasingly frustrated with Spoelstra.
Put him out of his misery.With the supposed-to-be-bigger-than-God Miami Heat looking ugly on the court and sputtering to an 8-6 record, the calls for doofy coach Erik Spoelstra's professional head have reached a fever pitch.
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke recommends Pat Riley pull a Stan Van Gundy on Erik Spoelstra.Pat Riley needs to stop wasting time writing love poems to h ... More >>
USA Today sure had a big scoop splashed across its front page today. Apparently, everyone in America outside of Miami hates the Miami Heat. That's real breaking news there. Someone notify the Pulitzers.At least we did learn a few things. Like the fact that apparently people view the Miami Heat as ... More >>
We here at Riptide like the sordid side of things. And while we're hoping that, come the end of the 2010-11 NBA season, Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and Chris Bosh are lobbing a championship trophy to each other as they ride dolphins through Biscayne Bay, we're also hoping for a bit of off-the- ... More >>
It might be a while before we get complete confirmation that Dwyane Wade will again sign on the dotted line for the Heat, but president Pat Riley has extended his own contract. No big surprise there, but he's also open to extending his career as a coach. Watch your back, Erik Spoelstra. "I'l ... More >>
In a game that could only described as "refried ass, " the Miami Heat were walloped by the Boston Celtics 106-77 in last night's game two of the first round NBA Playoffs. The Heat managed to keep things close in the first quarter, rebounding after a slow start and even managing to take the lead f ... More >>
The Miami Heat squeezed past an awful Philadelphia 76ers team last night in a win that can only be described as "Eleanor Rooseveltian." But as unsightly as it may have been, a win is a win. Last night's 99-95 victory was Miami's ninth in a row. That makes nine straight wins and 10 games over .500 ... More >>
Last night, the Miami Heat lost 108-102 to the Orlando Magic in overtime, inspiring the following ten observations about the state of our b-ball team.1. Outside of Michael Beasley (on the nights Erik Spoelstra actually lets the kid play), Dwyane Wade is all alone.2. The Magic out-rebounded Miami ... More >>
Image via Miami Heat/NBAEMiami Heat head coach Erik Spoelstra.Luther Campbell, AKA Uncle Luke, has never been shy about sharing his opinion. The former frontman for Miami's wonderfully raunchy rap act, 2 Live Crew, made history in 1992 when the U.S. Supreme Court confirmed his right to be as horn ... More >>
Jesse Jackson was in town for the Super Bowl and decided to engage in his number one hobby: protesting. He marched against high rates of foreclosure and unemployment. [NBCMiami]A truck pulling a livestock trailer jackknifed in Weston. The driver and about 100 of the animals were killed, bu ... More >>
It's the weekend, so the best you're getting from the ole' Riptide sports desk is a repost of a repost.Check out this video of former Miami Heat coach Stan Van Gundy, a.k.a. The Master of Panic, showing complete disdain for his over-hyped, NBA-style introduction at the Orlando Magic's home opener. I ... More >>
Cleveland Steamer Front of the house restaurant workers have to deal with so many people and their personalities that they've usually got great stories about their experiences. All you gotta do is ask.Short Order met a veteran restaurant worker who declined to give his real name for this intervie ... More >>
A new-look Miami Heat kicks off its season on All Hallows Eve.