Emilio Bonifacio

  • Blogs

    July 19, 2012

    The Franchise Episode 2 Recap: LoMo Meets His Hero & Lo Viste

    It's fitting that the same day big trade rumors involving Heath Bell and Hanley Ramirez surface, episode two of The Franchise is pretty much framed around a trade deadline discussion roundtable with Jeffery Loria, Larry Beinfest and their DERP lackeys (or maybe the Marlins PLANTED those rumors as a ... More >>

  • Dining

    April 12, 2012
  • Blogs

    April 9, 2012

    Ozzie Guillen Apologizes For Praising Fidel as Cuban Group Plans to Protest At Stadium

    Yesterday, Ozzie Guillen backtracked quicker than Emilio Bonifacio evading a pickoff after Time magazine quoted him admitting he kinda respects Fidel Castro for not falling for the CIA's best exploding cigar tricks. Guillen now says he didn't mean to come off as a Fidelista, telling the Miami Herald ... More >>

  • News

    December 22, 2011

    Miami's top news stories of 2011

    Dude, where's my city? Miami wakes up with a pounding headache.

  • Blogs

    November 11, 2011

    Is This the Miami Marlins Uniform Jose Reyes and Albert Pujols Will Wear Next Year? UPDATED

    via a tipster​The Marlins will officially unveil their new logo and uniforms tonight at 9. (That they didn't hold the event at 11:11 this morning seems like a loss, but oh well.) The logo and alleged mockups of the uniforms have already leaked, but Uni-Watch apparently has the first actual picture ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 12, 2011

    McKeon's Musings: This San Francisco Team Is Mighty Queer

    ​Jack McKeon, the 80-year-old interim manager of the Florida Marlins, is Riptide's interim semi-regular columnist. This week's topic: the San Francisco giants. I was on the bullpen phone with Corny the other day when he reminded me that San Francisco is coming to town. I just about barfed my ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 21, 2011

    Marlins Win Nine of 11, Then Give Up 13 Runs in Two Innings

    "You're trying to talk to me about earned run averages? During The War we earned all of our runs, I'll tell you that."​They were doing so well. After an atrocious June, the Florida Marlins got a new great-grandfather manager, won a long string of games and were creeping back toward .500.Then into ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 15, 2011

    Marlins Win Six in a Row, Leave Cubs Closer with ERA of Infinity

    Trader Jack, full of pride.​It looked like the Fish were going to lose this one. Down 2-0 against the Chicago Cubs going into the ninth at Wrigley Field, there didn't seem to be much hope. Then Cubs closer Carlos Marmol came in.His first three batters saw a combined 12 balls and one strike. With M ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 20, 2011

    Marlins Dig Up Jack McKeon, Might Put Him in Charge

    ​Former Marlins skipper Jack McKeon is going to come back to manage the nose-diving team, according to ESPN. McKeon, who helped the Marlins win the 2003 World Series using management skills he learned from observing Noah build his ark, retired in 2005 so he could spend more time turning into a pil ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 22, 2010

    Marlins Take Three of Four From Rockies, Bullpen Screws J.J. Again

    ​Another stellar performance from Josh Johnson, another blown lead by the bullpen. Another pinch-hitter, another walk-off win for Florida. Such are the misadventures of your Florida Marlins, who took game four of their series against the Colorado Rockies this afternoon with a 3-2 win. As for JJ's ... More >>

  • News

    December 31, 2009
  • Blogs

    July 6, 2009

    Rush Limbaugh is Apparently the New Lead Singer of KC and the Sunshine Band

    Rush- er, KC- valiantly burps down a heart attack during his July 4 concert at Landshark Stadium Since 2007, the Marlins have held their "Super Saturday" free concerts after Saturday night home games in a ploy to get people to attend games even if not for the baseball. The concerts sometimes s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 22, 2009

    Florida Marlins: Nunez Over Lindstrom for Closer

    The Marlins' recent cakewalk against the beasts of the AL East revealed that Josh Johnson is a Cy Young contender, Chris Coghlan is a talented lead-off hitter, and after going 6-3 against Toronto, Boston, and New York, the Marlins are actually pretty good. Oh, and Matt Lindstrom needs to be rem ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 17, 2009

    Marlins Drop Game One to Red Sox 8-2

    The Florida Marlins kicked off their AL East six-game gauntlet by losing to the Red Sox 8-2 in a brisk game that lasted just two and a half hours, but was over long before that. Starter Chris Volstad, who took the loss and fell to 4-7, threw well for three innings but was greeted in the fourth ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 28, 2009

    Will the Marlins ever win again?

    We were on the top of the world, and getting everybody's attention. Regis Philbin inserted the Marlins into his daily Senile Round-up. Philadelphia sportswriters were warning fans that the Phillies had more than the Mets to worry about. "They're not a mirage and they're not going away," wrote the Da ... More >>

  • Calendar

    April 23, 2009
  • Blogs

    April 15, 2009

    The Marlins' Chris Volstad Is No Mark Fidrych

      The Florida Marlins now have the best record in baseball and lead their division. New speedster Emilio Bonifacio just might be the hottest player in baseball. And that giant Chris Volstad has made us forget Scott Olson. Could it be this team is for real? Yesterday's 5-1 defeat over the pr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 11, 2009

    Holy S#$%, baseball is back

    It's hard to wax romantic about baseball at Dolphins stadium. Something about the sickly yellow-green that the klieg lights turn the grass outfield, the barren seating sections at every glance, the uncoordinated Mermaids bravely persisting as baseball's only cheerleaing squad- it just doesn't bring ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 8, 2009

    David Samson, Thy Name Is Samson

    We take it all back -- all the vitriol regarding the lack of a public process for the new stadium, all the accusations of backroom deals, dirty money, and no-bid contracts. Build the Marlins whatever they want. This team is amazing. 3-0? How about 162-0? How about just by watching them on TV, I was ... More >>