Photo by Elyse WanshelIt's hard not to love a martini, especially when it's nine bucks and consists of freshly puréed lychee, Grey Goose, and a twist of watermelon liqueur. Slap on a weekday happy hour (5 to 7 p.m.), when that drink gets discounted to $4, and you've got Doraku -- a casually sty ... More >>
Photo by Elyse WanshelLast year's champions Parma, Ohio's Porky-N-Beans.Grill smoke carries barbecue flavors through the air as beer, sauce and music flow freely.Ribfest is coming November 7 and 8 to Homestead Air Reserve Park (Moody Drive and SW 122 Avenue).Local ribbers Huckleberry Hillbilly an ... More >>
"Don't cut nurses; cut managers and administrators. Services will improve very quickly."
"I've seen racing greyhounds covered in mud, fleas, their own feces, and sores and gashes that would horrify even a vet."
"They tried to make him out as an innocent victim, but he has a record of drinking, drugs, and speeding."
Elyse Wanshel Where the party happens. Typical Groveites (or Grovinians? Grovitines?) wears shorts and flip flops. They always seem to be walking a dog, clutching a plastic cup, and most likely drive a Mini Cooper. Their typical night's itinerary usually includes pigging out on fish tacos at ... More >>
Attention flask fanatics and supporters of small, brown, you-don't-need-to-know-my-business paper bags; there's a new BYOB in MIA. The Wynwood Social Club (2501 N.W. 2nd Ave., Miami, across the street from Joey's) doesn't serve the sauce but delves out mixers that range from tonic, sparkling water, ... More >>
"It's time for the citizens of this country to make the decision to stop paying taxes."
At RA Sushi (5829 SW 73rd St.), a South Beach-y black sheep nuzzled within the crevices of the laid-back, pub-heavy South Miami bar scene, it really doesn't matter what you like. You can tell your server your booze-buds howl for scotch on the rocks, drool for Manhattans, get frisky with fuzzy navels ... More >>
Throughout 2008, Loon Over Miami columnist, Elyse Wanshel, has found herself in plenty of awkward situations that conjures up thoughts of "Only in Miami." In this post, Wanshel picks her favorite and most memorable columns of the past year."Zombies Walk" Who knew wearing fake blood and blinking rave ... More >>
Elyse Wanshel Parma, Ohio’s Porky-N-Beans won best ribs at Miami-Dade Parks’ Ribfest 2008. Ten bucks and then you get to eat all the free ribs you want? Sounds too good to be true. And it is, busting open the word-of-mouth myth that, last Saturday, lured me down to Homestead Air Reserve for Mia ... More >>
I know it’s been awhile since you BYOBed -– like in high school, back when you used to sneak-sip Special Brews on some public beach on Key Biscayne while discussing the ever-important topic of whether to get a belly-ring, a fairy tattooed on your lower back, or just blow all of your hard-earned ... More >>
In July, New Times columnist Elyse Wanshel opined that perhaps Mixed Martial Arts -- that sport of sweat-drenched extreme dry-humping -- is a tad bit homosexual. Diehard MMA fans, it turns out, weren't exactly pleased (by the way, thanks for the anthrax!) Well, you're all forgiven for doubting us. ... More >>
"He entered a new country and effectively told the immigration services: 'I don't care about your laws, catch me if you can.'"
Elyse Wanshel I’ve always felt like Kendall is a Chinese finger cuff of a suburb. It isn’t particularly interesting (other than some dude who drives around with a weather vane and a toilet seat glued to his car), it’s swarmed with identical peach colored strip malls pumped full of Staples and ... More >>
Julie Thomson Halo Lounge on Lincoln Road. Perhaps you didn’t notice, but last Friday Booze Hound was M.I.A. -- or more specifically, was in MIA, checking a $15 bag (damn you, American Airlines!), getting bumped up to first class (thank you, American Airlines!), receiving a 6 a.m. buzz courtesy o ... More >>
"Anyone who claims to play poker for a living in this state is a wannabe, a jerk-off, and, furthermore, a degenerate."
This week's regurgitations: Who knew Gail's sis could make such a mean pot of fish stew? Yum! Eating in Downtown Hollywood on a budget can be fun. Mmm, I dream of cancha. We showed you where to catch lobster that won't kill you (at least, it's far less probable). South Florida's bloggers really ... More >>
In a time of such economic strife, I say screw the beef! Instead of dinner out on the town, I suggest one blow their shrinking wads of indulgence-flow on the savory, sweet nectar of catastrophe -- booze. Yet, New Times doesn’t want you to waste your hard-earned cash on crap, so we’re combing b ... More >>
"You're overworked and underpaid and have a gay readership that will cheer on your validation of its straight-boy fantasies."
"If you wanna kick ass in UFC, you can't be scared to squish your genitalia (nice and close) up against another man."
"Did you wait for the alcohol to wear off after your trip from the bar before writing that profound piece of journalism?"
Two months ago, I dropped my Herald subscription after 42 years. Same old bull!
"The finger-pointing conflicts with your otherwise tolerant view of casual drug use."
"How do you reconcile Thorp's catty comments with the original glowing review?"
"Kaufman knows there are racists on both sides of the street"
"Calling an illegal alien an undocumented worker is like calling a drug dealer an unlicensed pharmacist"
Due to the success of Soulja Boy’s hit single “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” and it’s accompanying dance -- which hit #1 of the Billboard Hot 100 Chart this September -- everyone from the whitest of uncoordinated white boys: to Maury Povich guests: have been caught on YouTube with their p ... More >>