Note: This log, apparently describing an NBA Finals-themed drinking game played by a group of Miami Heat fans, was discovered late Sunday night. The fate of the heartbroken revelers is not known.FIRST QUARTER12:00 -- All right, time for tip-off! Super excited to have all this booze. Keeping ... More >>
After the giant mound of ostrich shit that was LeBron James' 8-point performance from Game 4, he called Game 5 the biggest of his career. The world then waited for LeBron to come out in Game 5 and serve the Mavericks a can filled with ass whoopin'. Instead, Heat fans got served a can filled with ... More >>
Stone crab at Joe's.The Miami Heat obliterated the Dallas Mavericks last night, busting Dirk Nowitzki's finger and pretty much ending the series in the first game.
But even more important: A bet between Joe's Stone Crab and the Dallas Chop House. A hundred pounds of fatty disgusting ribeye steak ... More >>
Because this is the NBA and we do a lot of screaming around here!Which team will win the Eastern Conference Finals won't come down to how great the Miami Heat's big three perform or how wonderfully efficient the Chicago Bulls' bench mob execute their tenacious defensive and rebounding skills. No ... More >>
There are nights when the Miami Heat completely annihilate an inferior opponent and leave them buried in their wake of awesomeness by twenty or thirty points. Last night was not one of those nights.The Heat had to rally hard and overcome an eleven-point deficit in last night's 100-94 win over the ... More >>
Chris Bosh and the Miami Heat's bench decided to turn in the absolute worst performance ever in the history of everything in a game that will undoubtedly have playoff seeding implications down the stretch.The Heat held a 9-point lead at the half against the Chicago Bulls last night, only to see i ... More >>
The Miami Heat entered today's game against the Boston Celtics with a chance to take sole possession of first place in the East. They also entered the game riding a pretty nifty eight game-winning streak. But those things quickly turned to the proverbial mound of cat turd as the C's held off ... More >>
It's pretty fun watching South Florida's daily newspapers try to describe the "crotch-related gesture" that got Miami Heat guard Eddie House fined this week.
Or, more specifically, not try-- because the Herald can't get away with saying "testicles" unless it's a cancer-related story, and eve ... More >>
The NBA doesn't want you to think about their players' crotches. As far as they are concerned their players don't even have crotches, and any player caught in any way pointing to their crotch apparently gets fined $25,000. That's what happened to the Heat's Eddie House for his "obscene" "crotch-r ... More >>
Dwyane Wade's magic goggles seemed to run out of awesome juice in the fourth quarter of Thursday night's 93-88 loss to the New York Knicks.Because after Wade started the game hitting pretty much every shot he threw up (except his free throws... hit those goddamn free throws, D-Wade!!), he missed ... More >>
Dwayne Wade was forced to sit out thanks to a migraine, while Chris Bosh sat out his second-straight game with a bum left ankle. And so LeBron James was left to the mercy of having to rely on Mario Chalmers and Carlos Arroyo for support if the Miami Heat was going to snap their longest losing str ... More >>
And Karmapocalypse 2011 continues.While LeBron James was all healed up from his ankle injury and back on the court, it was Chris Bosh who was forced to sit out with a bum ankle. So we all got a glimpse into a Miami Heat team sans Bosh. And the result was a 93-89 loss at home to the Atlanta Hawks ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke recommends Pat Riley pull a Stan Van Gundy on Erik Spoelstra.Pat Riley needs to stop wasting time writing love poems to h ... More >>
If you're the Mayor of Miami-Dade County and you're facing a well-funded recall effort, how do you drum up some good will? With all eyes on the Miami Heat, writing an open love letter to the 305 dream team for ESPN.com isn't a bad idea. That's what Carlos Alvarez has done.