• Blogs

    May 27, 2014

    Mark Cuban Is a Bigger Bigot Than Donald Sterling

    Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke goes after Mark Cuban. Let me get this straight. Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling is secretly recorded making bigoted ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 23, 2014

    Miami Heat Playoffs: 50 Twitter Accounts True Fans Must Follow

    What's better than watching the Miami Heat battle for its third consecutive NBA title? Sharing that experience with Heat fans just as passionate about the team as you, while at the same time getting the best possible up-to-the-dribble coverage all in the same place -- that's what. All you have to do ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 5, 2014

    ESPN Touts LeBron James-Blake Griffin Trade Fantasy

    So how would you feel about losing LeBron James if it meant getting rising star Blake Griffin in return? ESPN wants you to think about it. Because they're going to run the LeBron free agency story into the ground almost as severely as everything Tim Tebow, ESPN's website is running a story today ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 24, 2013

    Miami Heat Will Hold Training Camp in Bahamas

    Apparently when you win two championships in a row you can hold training camp in a place that usually caters to people looking to relax and party rather than, you know, train. Yep, the Miami Heat will be holding their training camp at the fancy, almost theme park-like Atlantis Paradise Island reso ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 4, 2013

    MLB May Suspend 20 Players With Links to Miami Clinic For Up To 100 Games Each

    Major League Baseball has made a major break in its investigation of a Miami-based clinic that provided performance-enhancing drugs to about 20 players, including the New York Yankees Alex Rodriguez and the Milwaukee Brewers Ryan Braun. ESPN reports that the league could hand out 100-game suspension ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 22, 2013

    Marlins Park Could Host College Bowl Game

    Marlins Park is already home to one troubled sports organization, so why not another? The American Athletic Association, more popular known as the sad, tattered remains of the football schools in the former Big East, is considering putting together its own college bowl game and is eyeing Marlins P ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 3, 2013

    LeBron James Would "Whoop On" Fired Rutgers Coach Mike Rice

    Former Rutgers coach Mike Rice is a sad little rage ball of a man who makes Bobby Knight look like a Zen Buddhist. The coach was fired yesterday after ESPN aired video of Rice hurling balls at players' heads, repeatedly shoving his players during practice, and calling them slurs such as "f*ggot" and ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 1, 2013

    Duke Is Going to Ruin Court-Storming for Hurricanes and the Whole ACC

    How sweet it must have been for Miami Hurricanes fans to storm the court earlier this season after knocking off then-number-1-ranked Duke and signaling to the world that they were in fact contenders. Well, Duke and grumpy-ass Coach K are apparently upset about all the times they've had to endure cou ... More >>

  • Music

    January 3, 2013
  • Blogs

    October 18, 2012

    The Lakers Would Like LeBron James to Play For Them in 2014, According to ESPN Fan Fiction Report

    LeBron James is only guaranteed to be a member of the Miami Heat for the next two seasons -- after that, he's got two year of player option left on his contract. So, of course today brought us a dramatic ESPN report that the Los Angeles Lakers are getting ready to lure James to Tinseltown in 2014 to ... More >>

  • Calendar

    October 18, 2012
  • Blogs

    July 30, 2012

    The Marlins Fire Sale is Over ... For Now: Josh Johnson Won't Be Traded

    The MLB trade deadline is tomorrow, and Marlins fans fearful that the team would nuke its lineup can prepare to breath a sigh of relief. ESPN reports that star pitcher Josh Johnson probably will not be traded before tomorrow's MLB trade deadline.But those of us who would like to be fans one day when ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 5, 2012

    Hot-Dog-Eating Contests in Brooklyn, Coconut Grove: The Pros and the Joes

    There were two hot-dog-eating competitions of note during yesterday's Fourth of July festivities. One, the 97th annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Championships in Coney Island, was attended by tens of thousands of hard-core fans and casual spectators and broadcast on ESPN. Joey "Jaws" Chestnut, the 28 ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 20, 2012

    Skip Bayless Running Scared From Luther Campbell

    Maybe it was the headline calling him a "Modern Day Minstrel" or the comparison to Rush Limbaugh that got underneath Skip Bayless' ripped muscles. Or maybe the sports journalist and host of ESPN's First Take figured he wasn't about to let Luther Campbell call him a race baiting huckster on his own p ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 6, 2011

    Albert Pujols Offered 10-Year Contract by Marlins

    ​SEC probes and baffling aesthetic choices aside, the Miami Marlins really do deserve credit for keeping good on their promise of upping their payroll and making the team a serious contender. A day after adding prized shortstop Jose Reyes, ESPN is reporting that the Fish have made a 10-year contra ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 16, 2011

    Logan Morrison Files Grievance Against Marlins, Can We Get In On That?

    ​Fan favorite and self-described "twittaholic" Logan Morrison has filed an official grievance with the Florida Marlins over his demotion to AAA last month, reports ESPN.The Fish, meanwhile, have lost four in a row due to a comedy of errors. They are 31 games back in the division with only 12 to pl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 3, 2011

    Kyle Orton Trade Definitely Not Happening, Claims ESPN Reporter

    ​It wasn't looking good, but some Dolphins faithful were still holding out hope that the team would make a trade for Denver Broncos QB Kyle Orton. It seems that any remaining flicker of hope was blown out today by ESPN's Adam Schefter. He says Orton will remain with the Broncos and will be their s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 11, 2011

    Live Band Seizurely Plays for Strippers at Bare Necessity

    ​As Bambi, one of the strippers, watched a jazz and funk band perform for the all-nude female dancers at Bare Necessity yesterday afternoon, she declared good-naturedly, "It's a good alternative to brunch!" When we walked into the lounge, Seizurely was playing "Shake Your Groove Thing" as a thick ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 24, 2011

    Joakim Noah, Odd Future, and the Politics of the Word "Faggot"

    ​It's a weird week for the word "faggot," ain't it? The Chicago Bull's Joakim Noah just got fined a discounted $50,000 for addressing an unruly Heat fan as such during game three of the NBA Eastern Conference Finals in Miami on Sunday. Meanwhile, Goblin, the proper debut album of Tyler, the Creato ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 20, 2011

    Miami Sports Teams that Pay Players the Most Suck the Least

    ​Remember the time that the New York Yankee's Alex Rodriguez's annual salary was greater than the entire roster of the Florida Marlins combined? Well, the Marlins have agreed to increase their payroll in anticipation of moving into their own ballpark, and now A-Rod only makes about 57 percent of w ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 23, 2011

    Reports: Heat May Trade Mike Miller

    ​Miller time may be coming to an end at American Airlines Arena. ESPN reported last night that as the trade deadline nears the Miami Heat are quietly shopping around Mike Miller in the hopes of landing a better center. Though, there chances of making a trade don't look so good.

  • Blogs

    February 10, 2011

    Meanest High School Coach Ever Cuts Orlando Double Amputee From Baseball Team

    Anthony Burruto made ESPN the Mag -- but not his high school team.​We all know Florida takes its high school sports more seriously than, say, its budget -- but a baseball coach in Orlando's hard-nosed attitude has suddenly made him the national face of villainous athletic leadership (sorry Bobby K ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 4, 2011

    Reports: QB Jacoby Brissett to Choose Gators Over 'Canes

    ​Al Golden was hoping for one more coveted player to really make his inaugural recruiting class shine, but it appears that four star quarterback Jacoby Brissett of Palm Beach Gardens' Dwyer High will announce his intentions to play for the Gators instead this year. Brissett was one of th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 10, 2011

    Awkward: Cavaliers Change Hotel Plans to Avoid Bumping into Heat

    ​How awkward and tense have things gotten between the Miami Heat and Cleveland Cavaliers? Apparently it's so bad that the Cavaliers have changed their hotel plans in order to avoid bumping into the Heat. Both teams are on extended road trips on the West Coast. Both teams will be playing mid-week g ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 1, 2010

    Hurricanes: No Coaching Announcement Today

    According to Photoshop, this guy is the next coach of The U​Breaking news: Nothing happened in a meeting between University of Miami Athletic Director Kirby Hocutt and ESPN Monday Night Football analysts Jon Gruden this morning.The Miami Herald is reporting that The U will not be making any head c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 30, 2010

    How Interviewing Trick Daddy, Rick Ross, Luther Campbell, and Lil Wayne Got Me Addicted to ESPN

    Trick Daddy is partly to blame for Prunk TV's ESPN addiction.​The weekend before last, I went to the NASCAR Ford 400 at the Homestead-Miami Speedway and it was amazing. I used my press pass to get right up on the track and it felt like my teeth were gonna explode. Kind of like the way they felt a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2010

    Isiah Thomas Wants to Return to the Knicks and Bring LeBron With Him

    ​Oh how it must eat away at Isiah Thomas every day that he's sitting in his FIU offices coaching a Sun Belt team, while just a few miles away the Miami Heat have become the most talked about team in the NBA. In a chat with ESPN New York, Thomas talks about wanting to return to New York, and hints ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 20, 2010

    LeBron James Receives Racist Twitter Message

    ​Yesterday on his Twitter feed, LeBron James re-tweeted criticism from some, let's call them "disgruntled," fans. He then proclaimed the day as Hater Day, telling the twitterverse that the haters need their two minutes of fame too. The tweets were your typical everyday re-hashed LeBron affronts. P ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 30, 2010

    305 Live: Miami Heat's DJ Irie, Flo-Rida on the Today Show, And More In Local Hip-Hop News

    Via Twitter​--The Miami Heat's all-star DJ, DJ Irie, recently received a commendation from the City Of Miami, praising his hard work for the community and various charitable efforts. Irie is currently awaiting the upcoming 2010-2011 Miami Heat season to begin where he'll be the DJ again for all t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 15, 2010

    Steve Carell and Paul Rudd Spoof LeBron James's Decision

    ​LeBron James's ESPN special, The Decision, might have resulted in one of the biggest moments in Miami sports history. But let's not kid ourselves -- the whole thing was ridiculous. I mean, Jim Gray's questions such as "One hand or two?" and "Are you still a nail-biter?" were some of the most ridi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 8, 2010

    LeBron James: The Decision Live-Blog

          I chooose.....  Memphis.​Welcome to The Greatest Event In The History of Your Life! It's the LeBron James The Decision live-blog. Because an event this monumental must be live-blogged, even if he decides to screw the city of Miami over.Will he stay in Cleveland? Will ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 28, 2010

    Bobby Valentine Might Not Be Marlins' Next Manager After All

    ​From a baseball standpoint, we still can't make sense of the Marlins' unceremonious firing of manager Fredi Gonzalez (dude did the best he could with that salary). From a Jeffrey-Loria-is-an-idiot standpoint, it at least added up. Loria has been keen on the idea of replacing Gonzalez with his bud ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 22, 2010

    Cocaine, Murder, and Fútbol: Watch The Two Escobars on ESPN Tonight

    Andres Escobar, murdered for a World Cup mistake.​The U was a raucous look at the fabled '80s-era Miami Hurricanes football team, and Run Ricky Run made us wholly reconsider the Dolphins' enigmatic superstar running back. Silly Little Game was a hilarious chronicling of the group of baseball-adori ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 30, 2010

    Did Dez Bryant Tell Jeff Ireland His Dad was a Pimp?

    Sean Connery's comeback role in the Jeff Ireland biopic may be on hold.​Context is everything, and Sports Illustrated says they have the full conversation leading up to Jeff Ireland's now infamous question to Dez Bryant. But ESPN says it's not true! Yahoo! Sports reported last week that the D ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 3, 2010

    Gridiron Goes Gourmet with Eats Beats & Cleats

    Todd English will be preparing a giant crab paella​Super Bowl 44 is upon us (it happened so quickly) and while everyone is buzzing about how to get into the Playboy, ESPN and Maxim parties, there is one gridiron soiree foodies will not want to miss. Part of the four-day Eats Beats & Cleats cel ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 10, 2009

    News Roundup: If Jeezy's Payin' LeBron, I'm Paying Dwyane Wade

    The number of homes in foreclosure in Miami-Dade fell by 5.62 percent last month, but is still higher than the same month last year. [Herald]A four-year-old boy was found wandering the streets in just pajamas this morning in NW Dade, but his parents have been found. [NBCMiami]Remember how this summe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 26, 2009

    News Roundup

    If the fact that the Dolphins were leading the unbeaten Saints at the beginning of the third quarter seemed too good to be true, it was. The Saints put 21 unanswered points on the board in the fourth, and the Dolphins didn't have any response. [ESPN]Fidel Castro's sister in Miami, Juanita, has a boo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 26, 2009

    Isiah Starts His FIU Career with Some Good Ol'-Fashioned Whining

    Well, that didn't take long. via Wikimedia Commons​Ever since FIU shocked the basketball world earlier this year by landing Hall of Famer Isiah Thomas to coach its less than notable program, Riptide has been waiting for that first sweet whiff of the controversy that seems to foll ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 22, 2009

    Forget Marc Anthony, J.Lo, La Gloria, and Jimmy. We Need an Albanian!

    So now comes the news that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are gonna be celeb minority owners of the Dolphins, like Jimmy Buffett and the Estefans before them. (Follow the jump for the news release.) I get what Dolphins owner Steve Ross is doing. Pandering. That's what he's supposed to do. With ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 3, 2009

    It Was Fun While It Lasted: Dolphins Have the Hardest NFL Schedule in 2009

    All the naysayers (me included, often) think the Dolphins' roller coaster 2008 season ought to come with a few caveats: "Yeah, yeah, but Tom Brady was out the entire season... Sure, but the Jets had that old guy... Well, the wildcat won't be as effective next year... Whatever, you had an easy schedu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 30, 2008

    Dolphins Super Bowl Odds: Not So Good, Actually

    First off, sometimes I wish our Miami NFL teams had a different animal as its mascot. Dolphins only have one expression, and that is "I am so friggin' happy at the moment!!!!" This is why there will never be LOLCat-like ROFLFins, and this is why I can never illustrate a post about bad news for the M ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 29, 2008

    News Roundup

    Your Miami Dolphins did it! Some how! Some way! They took their division, are heading to the play offs, and made the greatest season to season turn around in NFL history. Not only that but to get their they beat the Patriots, who last year came ridiculously close to joining the '72 Dolphins in per ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 10, 2008

    Joey Porter Is Packing Heat, Feels for Plax

    Apparently those popcorn muscles aren't enough. In an interview aired a couple of minutes ago on ESPN, Dolphins linebacker, sack-master, and nonstop verbal diarrhea specialist Joey Porter said he feels for Plaxico Burress, the Giants wide receiver who recently shot himself in the leg at a nightclub ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 8, 2008

    News Roundup

    Florida GOP chairman Jim Greer may have billed the party for personal expenses. It's not $150k on a wardrobe, but it's almost as bad. Like $3,600 on a single dinner. [Herald]The Miami-Dade Dems elected new leadership, and they didn't celebrate with a $3,600 dinner. [Naked Politics]What do you need t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2008

    Escape Reality With Football

    After what is sure to be a dramatic Presidential debate tonight, it'll be relaxing to follow some contests where the winner won't decide the fate of our nation. The dick sandwich servin', pig flyin' Dolphins have a bye this week, but the city's two college teams should keep your mind of the econom ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 22, 2008
  • Blogs

    November 14, 2007

    John Beck Will Start

    According to Armando Salguero, Cam Cameron is expected to announce today that John Beck will start against the Eagles on Sunday. As it is, I won't have to stab Cam with a trident. Anyway, you all know I've been calling for this to happen since, like, Week 3. Better late than never I guess. Woot. ... More >>

  • Home Entertainment

    September 27, 2007
  • Home Entertainment

    November 9, 2006
  • Film

    May 29, 2003

    Speakin' Spell

    Who would have thought -- a compelling film about spelling!

  • More >>