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ESPN's Skip Bayless is the king race-baiter

Skip Bayless is a Modern Day Minstrel

​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke crowns ESPN talking head Skip Bayless the king of race baiting.I've got to hand it to Skip Bayless for articulating so we ... More >>

Linsanity Comes to Miami: Six Rules For Heat Fans to Avoid Being Horribly Racist

​Tomorrow night, the New York Knicks-- led by Asian American Harvard Grad™ Jeremy Lin-- come to Miami to take on the Heat. Lin's quick rise to prominence hasn't exactly brought out the best in America. Fox's Jason Whitlock made that penis size joke. ESPN had the "Chink in the Armor" headli ... More >>

Ozzie Guillen Kissing Dog on ESPN Mag Cover (Sort of Like One of Our Most Notorious Covers)

​New Miami Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen hasn't been in town for that long, but is it possible he's been looking through past Miami New Times covers for photo shoots? He's pictured on the cover of the newest edition of ESPN The Magazine in a full on kiss with his pet dog, and it looks quite simila ... More >>

The Miami Hurricanes Become the Joke on Happy Endings

​For the third time in a little over a week, a Miami sports team has been the butt of a joke on a national sitcom. First there was South Park's minor dig at the Dolphins, then The Office had a little fun at Chris Bosh and the Miami Heat's expense. Continuing the trend last night, ABC's Happy Endin ... More >>

Trent Edwards and Brodie Croyle Latest Leftover QBs Given a Look by the Dolphins

With Chad Henne probably out because of his injury, someone else will become the Dolphins' 16th starting quarterback in the 13 years since Dan Marino's retirement. The job will most likely go Matt Moore, barring a miraculous Henne recovery, but the Fins are still on the hunt for other backups.  ... More >>

Miami Hurricanes Fall to Renaissance Fair Jesters

​Never mind the embarrassment caused by the Nevin Shapiro scandal. Forget the suspensions. Put aside the looming thoughts of further NCAA sanctions. Let us be glad as Miami Hurricane fans that our team will never, ever face the humility of taking to the field dressed in something either looking li ... More >>

ESPN Mag Rankings: Heat Treat Their Fans Better Than Rest of SoFla Teams

​Every year ESPN the magazine offers up their "Ultimate Standings" of all 122 teams in the four major sporting leagues. Unlike most standings you'd find coming out of ESPN though, this doesn't deal strictly with on-the-field success. Instead is focuses on  "how much MLB, NBA, NFL and NH ... More >>

Richard "Kudo" Couto and Miami's Horse Slaughter Epidemic Get the ESPN E:60 Treatment

Ian Witlen​With E:60's feature on Dada 5000 and back-yard brawling, Outside the Lines' investigation of gambling on South Florida pee-wee football, and now an E:60 doc about the horse-meat black market in the sticks of Miami-Dade County, ESPN's reporters appear to have been camped out in our ... More >>

Watch ESPN's E:60 Feature On Miami-Dade's Backyard Fight King

Andy Hernandez​In case you missed it, we've embedded the 12-minute ESPN E:60 segment on Dhafir Harris, aka Dada 5000, and his backyard brawling tournaments. Although the feature rehashes Harris' story and the illegal aspect of his events first told by New Times, the footage of dudes beating each o ... More >>

Dhafir "Dada 5000" Harris On ESPN's E:60 Tonight

​Dhafir Harris, AKA Dada 5000, and his backyard fights circus gets put under ESPN's microscope tonight. The sports network's news magazine show E:60 is featuring the Don King of bareknuckle, no rules brawling tonight at 7 p.m.Even though it has been two years since New Times featured Harris and in ... More >>

Udonis Haslem Returns to Practice, Might Play Again Soon

​Fan favorite, Miami Heat co-captain, and only actual local boy on the team, Udonis Haslem has returned to practice after tearing a ligament in his foot this past November. ESPN reports Haslem took part in shooting drills during team practice yesterday and that a return to competition before t ... More >>

2011 Miami Hurricanes Schedule Released

Will the 'Canes open their first game against Randy Shannon? ​The 2011 Miami Hurricanes Schedule has been released, and despite some rumors, they won't be opening the season against Florida State. Though the opener could be even more interesting as they'll travel up to Maryland for a Monday night ... More >>

ESPN Steals Cleveland Plain Dealer Scribe to Become Official LeBron Stalker

Just in case you thought the hype surrounding the Miami Heat's recent free agent acquisitions might simmer down a little once games start: ESPN has hired the "world's greatest living authority on LeBron James" -- Cleveland Plain Dealer reporter Brian Windhorst -- to join a staff devoted to writing o ... More >>

LeBron James Threw a Huge Party for Himself in Vegas -- or Did He?

​ESPN's Arash Markazi went along for the ride at a party that Miami Heat forward LeBron James threw for himself at a Las Vegas nightclub last weekend that featured -- among other things -- scantily clad women, a crown-shaped cake, and a flying waiter. The account was posted on ESPN.com Wednesday m ... More >>

Multiple Sources: LeBron James Coming To The Heat

According to multiple NBA sources that have spoken with Newsday, LeBron James is expected to announce that he will be joining Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh on the Miami Heat. ESPN's Chris Broussard is confirming the report that James will sign with Miami, barring a last-minute change of heart.LeBron is ... More >>

Chris Bosh Definitely, Positively Joining D-Wade in Miami, ESPN Says

Two out of three, folks. Two out of three!​Heat fans: Put down the gin, back away from the train tracks, and climb down from the edge of the AA Arena roof (talking to you now, Burnie).Superstar Chris Bosh will join über-superstar Dwyane Wade on the hardwood for your Miami Heat next season. So say ... More >>

Flapjack Flip-Off X: Picnic

As part of our annual competition to determine the best pancakes in town, we visited Lee KleinThis year's winning jacks -- but from where?​Picnic Miami, which picked up the coveted On Second Thought, Maybe I'll Have Some Peanuts and Cracker Jack Award. Its boom-boom soundtrack at 11 a.m. proved on ... More >>

NFL Draft Live-Blog

​Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>

Hurricanes 23rd on ESPN's Way-Too-Early Pre-Season Football Rankings

​Last season for Miami Hurricanes fans was a respectful rebound, and should provide encouragement that our days of being left off most pre-season polls are over.The season doesn't officially kick off for another seven months, but that hasn't stopped ESPN's Mark Schlabach from making his pre-se ... More >>

News Roundup: Super Bowl Stage Collapse Injures Four

An audit criticized the waste of tens of thousands of tax-payer dollars by city of Miami workers on Government credit cards. Some how we got stiffed with the bill for a pink metallic dog collar. [Herald]A stage being built at Sun Life stadium collapsed, injuring four. [CBS4]Jackson Memoria ... More >>

Ain’t Quite a Title Fight

An audit criticized the waste of tens of thousands of tax-payer dollars by city of Miami workers on Government credit cards. Some how we got stiffed with the bill for a pink metallic dog collar. [Herald]A stage being built at Sun Life stadium collapsed, injuring four. [CBS4]Jackson Memoria ... More >>

News Roundup: Manny Headed to Harvard; Voters Head to Polls

It's Election Day! All over again! Voters in Districts 1 and 5 will head to the polls to replace Angel Gonzalez and maybe Michelle Spence-Jones. [CBS4]Former Mayor Manny Diaz is headed to Harvard to be a resident fellow at the JFK School of Government. Guess this means his name is complete ... More >>

News Roundup: Mayor Alvarez's Chief of Staff Resigns

Dennis Morales, Mayor Alvarez's chief of staff, is out and heading back to his old job in the police department. [CBS4]Miami-based home builders Lennar posted their first quarterly profit since 2007/ [WSJ]Bail has been set at $210k for the "Kill all Jews" guy. [CBS4]A local gym holds aerobics classe ... More >>

News Roundup: It Dropped Below 50 Degrees, Emergency!

The Coast Guard called off the search for two boaters who went missing of the coast. [NBCMiami]It got really really cold yesterday, how cold was it? Apparently cold enough to warrant this long article. [Herald]Kool & the Gang performed in Cuba on Saturday. Our apologies to th ... More >>

The U: Was Bernie Kosar Drunk? Can Notre Dame Learn Something From Miami?

Any Canes fan will tell you the media, especially ESPN, hates Miami, but ESPN aired its two-hour apology in the form of Rakontur's fantastic documentary, The U, this past weekend. One segment, of course, focused on that perceived media bias, and right on cue, the media is stirring up some contr ... More >>

Glenn Garvin Totally Doesn't Get The U, Insults Randy Shannon

via RakonturHow is it that a man who's paid to review television doesn't seem able to grasp ESPN's The U in the same way that writers who don't generally review films do? Oh right, because it's The Herald's Glenn Garvin we're talkin' about.While other early reviews of Rakontur's documentary on Miami ... More >>

ESPN Documentary The U Premieres at Lyric Theater in Overtown

By Francisco AlvaradoFormer Hurricanes mascot John Routh and ex-running back Melvin Bratton pose with Vinny Testaverde's Heisman Trophy​Click here to view photos from this event.Last night, Rakontur debuted an extended version of its upcoming ESPN documentary The U inside Overtown's historic Lyric ... More >>

Miami Hurricanes football told by Rakontur filmmakers

By Francisco AlvaradoFormer Hurricanes mascot John Routh and ex-running back Melvin Bratton pose with Vinny Testaverde's Heisman Trophy​Click here to view photos from this event.Last night, Rakontur debuted an extended version of its upcoming ESPN documentary The U inside Overtown's historic Lyric ... More >>

News Roundup: West Miami Mayor Suspended for Gabbing; Cuban Ump Defects

West Miami Mayor Ceasar Carasa has been suspended for racking up a $70,000 cell phone bill on the City's dime. Carasa is not believed to be an actual teenage girl. [NBCMiami]The Miami Art Museum has named John Wetenhall as its interim director. Previously he's worked in museums in such cultural hotb ... More >>

Where a Strike Is a Good Thing

West Miami Mayor Ceasar Carasa has been suspended for racking up a $70,000 cell phone bill on the City's dime. Carasa is not believed to be an actual teenage girl. [NBCMiami]The Miami Art Museum has named John Wetenhall as its interim director. Previously he's worked in museums in such cultural hotb ... More >>

Balls Away

West Miami Mayor Ceasar Carasa has been suspended for racking up a $70,000 cell phone bill on the City's dime. Carasa is not believed to be an actual teenage girl. [NBCMiami]The Miami Art Museum has named John Wetenhall as its interim director. Previously he's worked in museums in such cultural hotb ... More >>

News Roundup

A county program that helped low-income people pay their utility bills will be shut down because the county was overwhelmed by the amount of applications that came in. [CBS4]Whiney Fidel Castro says America is infecting Cuba with swine flu, but not intentionally. [CBS4]For the 21st time this year, a ... More >>

News Roundup

The President of the United States was in town last night, here's what he did:Was greeted by both protesters and supporters... [SoFlTimes]...Including Kendrick Meek, Dan Gelber, Alex Sink and Manny Diaz. [NakedPolitics]Rallied the democratic base at a fundraiser. [Herald]And raised nearly $1.5 milli ... More >>

News Roundup

Miami-Dade teachers will see their first raise in nearly four years. On average, they'll see a 1.8 percent bump in their paycheck beginning in December. [Herald]Our three local GOP congressman went to Honduras on a fact-finding mission and as a stunt to point out Zelaya should not be reinstated as p ... More >>

Good News, Bad News

Miami-Dade teachers will see their first raise in nearly four years. On average, they'll see a 1.8 percent bump in their paycheck beginning in December. [Herald]Our three local GOP congressman went to Honduras on a fact-finding mission and as a stunt to point out Zelaya should not be reinstated as p ... More >>

News Roundup

Some county commissioners want to cut Mayor Alvarez's budget next year after revelations that some staff members make more than President Obama's people. [Herald]In other embattled mayor news, Manny Diaz has scheduled a second vote on Miami 21 for September 4. [SFBJ]A 13-year-old boy in No ... More >>

Gloria Estefan Is In Fact Ready For Some Football

Gloria Estefan recently recorded a colabo with Hank Williams Jr. for the football classic, "Are You Ready For Some Football", which will open all three nationally televised games this year (two on ESPN and a Monday Nighter against the Jets on October 12). It should be fun to hear her legendary v ... More >>

Meet the Miami Doctor Accused of Juicing Manny Ramirez

View Larger Map When MLB nailed Manny Ramirez with a 50-game suspension in May for using banned substances, several newspapers reported that he got his juice from a Florida doctor. Now, if ESPN's investigative team is correct, we know his name: Dr. Pedro Bosch, a 71-year-old Coral Gables physician ... More >>

The Week That Was: "Best of" Week Ever

In honor of New Times Best of Miami issue, we've decided to wrap up things on Riptide this week by awarding our posts this weeks with completely meaningless merits. Click through to find out who wins. I'm sure you'll be super surprised.  Best Media hissy fit involving Bill O'Reilly and R ... More >>

Dear Stephen A. Smith, We Have a Job for You

Now that you're out of a job too, why not come work for us?

Died in a Plane Crash Performs at Churchill's This Sunday

I am a composer of modern music.The video above is my new group, Died in a Plane Crash. Let me explain: One of my current roommates is a sports fanatic. So, while I enjoy my morning coffee, he is watching ESPN Sports Center in the living room area. When I come home at night, he is watching a basketb ... More >>

Your So-Called National Champions Will Be Crowned Tonight

The story for tonight's BCS National Championship game at Dolphin Stadium is twofold: that tickets aren't as hard to come by as in previous years (if you consider $600 tickets to a championship football game a bargain) and that something like 83 percent of gamblers are putting their money on Florida ... More >>

Bigger, Stronger, Hotter

Only the hardest hard-bodies make it to Universe Weekend.

J-a-g-e-r-m ... Ah, Screw It

Only the hardest hard-bodies make it to Universe Weekend.

Float Like a Butterfly in Key West

The sweet science returns to the southernmost point.

Dolphins Coaching Search is a "Four-Horse Race"

The sweet science returns to the southernmost point.

The Right Arm of God Crushes King Douche Into Fine Powder

The sweet science returns to the southernmost point.

How About Fighting Hooters?

The sweet science returns to the southernmost point.

Slow V and Retrospect

The sweet science returns to the southernmost point.