Sunday's postseason opener answered one of the few questions some had about this Miami Heat team. Yes, Dwyane Wade is OK. And yes, he was taking names of everyone slandering him as he rested this season. Wade shot 10-16 for 23 points in 34 minutes, helping the Heat turn a tight first half into a com ... More >>
Mercifully, the Heat's regular season came to an end Wednesday night with a 100-87 loss to the Philadelphia 76ers. The Heat loss means Miami finishes the season with a 54-28 record, 12 games worse than last season's franchise record 66-win campaign. With the second seed in the East locked up prior ... More >>
It's Friday and Ultra is filling Miami with music fans wearing DayGlo bikini tops and little else. If you're going, you'd best be planning for where to eat and drink after (you're going to need energy for the next day). If you're more into Bermuda shorts than florescent ones, there's a great seafoo ... More >>
Tied with Washington entering the fourth quarter, the Miami Heat was on the brink of losing its fourth straight game for the first time since 2010. Just then, Dwyane Wade swooped in and put his foot directly in that possibility's ass. Wade scored 13 of his 22 points in the fourth quarter, leadin ... More >>
While you were watching the NFL playoffs all weekend, the Miami Heat players were busy getting the taste of that Warriors ass-kicking out of their mouths by gargling with the Orlando Magic and Toronto Raptors on back-to-back nights. Following a 110-94 win in Orlando Saturday night, the Heat held o ... More >>
Ever since news hit yesterday that Dwyane Wade fathered a child with a mystery woman, the internet has been dabbling in amateur detective work trying to figure out who the lady is. Well, TMZ Sports reports the woman is 30-year-old Aja Metoyer, who also happens to have two kids with Damon Wayans Jr., ... More >>
Dwyane Wade recently got engaged to long-time girlfriend Gabrielle Union and his two sons and a nephew helped out in the adorable Christmas-time proposal. But, according to gossip reports, Wade had another son who wasn't present. Gossip Cop and E! News reports that another woman gave birth to Wade's ... More >>
Let's imagine a terrible scenario in which the Miami Heat's five starters all magically develop some sort of injury that collectively keeps all five out until the playoffs, Would the team even make the playoffs? Dwyane Wade and Udonis Haslem thinks the bench players could get them there on their own ... More >>
The Miami Heat (11-3) pushed the winning streak to seven games Monday night with a 107-92 win against the Phoenix Suns. The LeBron James ioS 2013 update continues to get rave reviews, finishing with 35 points, five rebounds, and four assists. Ray Allen had 17 points, and Chris Andersen chipped in 11 ... More >>
Dwyane Wade didn't seem to mind when he gave up his title of the Heat's best player to LeBron James, but apparently he does get touchy when people claim LeBron has better off-the-court style than he does. GQ recently named LeBron James as the most stylish athlete of 2013, and the always dapperly dre ... More >>
Cultist pointed out that Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade has sold a sitcom to Fox based on his memoirs of fatherhood. It's a simple family show slated to be titled Three The Hard Way -- which if you aren't aware, is not only the name of a seminal '70s blaxplotation action flick, but also the name of mor ... More >>
There's no denying that three years ago, LeBron James was the biggest villain in sports. Hell, Heat fans themselves were treated as rouges just for daring to root for him. But after two back-to-back championships, LeBron's public image has recovered. Of course, the sports media always needs a villai ... More >>
The Miami Heat kicked off their 2013 training camp Tuesday in the Bahamas, because of course they did, officially kicking off their attempt at back-to-back-to-back NBA titles, or as many are terming it, "Three-Heat." The team largely returns most of the same key components that led them to the past ... More >>
Last week Dwyane Wade's ex-wife Siohvaughn Funches-Wade made a bizarre public protest outside of a Chicago courthouse in which she claimed to be living on the streets. Today Wade released a statement pointing out that he still pays her $25,000 each month.
The NBA off-season is less "off" and more a whole different full season as teams frantically try to keep up with the Joneses during a down time that begins just days after the finals. This week, free agency opened and teams began signing the players they think could put them over the hump. The movem ... More >>
Dwyane Wade and LeBron James combined for 65 points last night and Chris Bosh scored 20 to lead the Miami Heat to a critical series-equalizing, 109-93 Game Four win. Phewww! The win guarantees the series will end in Miami, as the Heat takes back the home-court advantage it earned with a franchise-re ... More >>
The good news is the Miami Heat took advantage of a little known NBA rule that states you can only lose once a night. The bad news is we have to play with footballs the rest of the series because the San Antonio Spurs shoved all the basketballs up the Miami Heat's collective asses in Game Three. Beh ... More >>
Dwyane Wade's ongoing custody battle has been one of the most glum personal stories in the NBA, and one that has largely been played in public through court records. Wade however recently opened up about his failed marriage to ex-wife Siohvaughn Funches-Wade in Jet magazine, and admits he was "proba ... More >>
Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade is no stranger to fashion provocation, but gauging by the reaction from his stroll into Chicago's United Center last night in a tailored Gucci suit that featured ankle-flashing capri pants, you would have assumed he'd shown up in a rainbow Speedo and glittery suspenders. ... More >>
The Miami Heat minus an injured Dwyane Wade closed out the Milwaukee Bucks Sunday afternoon with an 88-77 victory, sweeping the best-of-seven series four games to none. As was a theme in this series, the Bucks lulled the Miami Heat to sleep for three quarters, hanging around until the Heat decided ... More >>
The Miami Heat overcame a dismal first half Thursday night to defeat Milwaukee 104-91 to take a commanding 3-0 lead in this best of four series. Ray Allen came off the bench to score 23 points, hitting five of eight threes, while LeBron James finished with 22 points, six assists, and five rebounds. ... More >>
After 10 years in the league, Dwyane Wade is clearly in legacy mode, but what would make that legacy complete? Apparently just another ring. Wade tells the Associated Press that is goal was always to get a three-set, and anything after that is just icing on the cake.
In a game that featured two teams seemingly just going through the motions, the Miami Heat pulled out its franchise-record-tying 61st win of the season, equaling the 1996-97 squad that finished 61-21. LeBron James was the sole member of the Big Three to suit up, and he led the Heat with 28 ... More >>
No Oscars were awarded for Dwyane Wade's fourth-quarter performance Sunday night. Just another Miami Heat win, that's all. With his team down seven with just under four minutes to go, the man they once called "Flash" played the role of superhero, scoring 11 of his 24 in the game's final five minutes ... More >>
It's no longer "Flash," "D-Wade," or "MV3." If you're going to address Dwyane Wade informally, now you have to do so by his new self-appointed nickname: WOW. Yes, WOW, as in Way of Wade.Don't feel blasphemous if you think it's a little odd, because even LeBron James thinks it's corny.
The Miami Hurricanes basketball team isn't just making waves in the college world. They're inspiring the greatest players in the NBA too.Miami Heat stars Dwyane Wade and LeBron James were spotted in the stands when the 'Canes took on North Carolina and saw a crazy dunk so sweet they decided to recre ... More >>
The seemingly never-ending custody battle between Dwyane Wade and his ex-wife Siohvaughn Fuches Wade continues to be just sad and depressing.According to TMZ, Fuches Wade has filed new claims in the case that Wade was depriving his two sons of asthma medication.
Facing a high scoring Houston Rockets team without Chris Bosh, the Miami Heat found themselves thrust into a good old fashioned cock fight. Unfortunately for the Rockets, even without Bosh - the Heat bring two Big Swinging Dicks to the scrum. LeBron James and Dwyane Wade combined for 63 po ... More >>
We cool now, Heat fans? LeBron and Wade came into the Staples Center last night, dropped their shorts and proceeded to Danza-slap every Lakers player, coach and fan in attendance with a 99-90 victory that was ALL D-Wade and Cobradick.The Heat were the real stars in attendance despite the presence of ... More >>
Dwyane Wade will sit out one game without pay after the NBA reviewed an incident in the Heat's game against the Charlotte Bobcats in which Wade apparently kicked Ramon Sessions in the nuts. Wade will serve the suspension tonight while his team takes on the Detroit Pistons.
The Miami Heat's Dwyane Wade isn't known for his dirty play, but last night he may have delivered one of the lowest blows known to man. Not just in sports, but in general.Because it kind of looked like he kicked the Charlotte Bobcats' Ramon Sessions square in the nuts last night.
Your WORLD CHAMPION Miami Heat took on the newly-relocated Brooklyn Nets last night and proceeded to obliterate those Brooklyn/New Jersey/Whatever fools 103-73, proving that even if you move from a shitty state to a less shitty city borough, it doesn't change the fact that your squad is infinitely i ... More >>
Critical Mass Miami's rampant success speaks for itself, but this is Miami, so things tend not to register until there's some bold-face names involved. Well, on Friday night Miami Heat superstar Dwyane Wade and his Hollywood boo Gabrielle Union joined the bike activist ride, which obviously now mean ... More >>
I guess it's only fair that since the Miami Heat have the undisputed best basketball player in the world that they should also have the worst player in the entire league.To no one's surprise, ESPN's experts today put LeBron James atop their #NBARank listicle, which is kind of hilarious because ... More >>
In bad news for the USA Basketball team (but sort of good news for next season's Miami Heat), Dwyane Wade has announced that he'll be undergoing knee surgery this summer and will not be traveling with the team to the London Olympics.
Forget all those lens-less glasses, fishing lure shirts and man purses. Dwyane Wade raised the bar on quirky NBA press conference fashion on Tuesday night by wearing flip-up sunglasses. Lest you think Wade has lost his damned mind and thought they just looked fly as hell (well, OK, he kind of did), ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke addresses the future of the Miami Heat's biggest star.Whether the Heat wins or loses the NBA Finals, everybody should stop talkin ... More >>
The latest episode in Dwyane Wade's personal saga with his ex-wife Siohvaughn Funches-Wade couldn't have come at a worse time. In the midst of the NBA finals, Wade's lawyers have filed a petition to suspend Siohvaughn's right to visitation with their two sons following an incident this weekend that ... More >>
Game 1 of the 2012 NBA Finals was a tale of two halves.The Miami Heat shot out of the gate strong, hitting shots, making threes and getting a huge game from *record scratch* Shane Battier!But the second half was a whole other bag of salted cock n' balls as Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook did to t ... More >>
This is a silly, stupid little post to be writing. The Heat will of course stage a magnificent comeback tonight and go on to emerge victorious in the finals, because whatever powers that rule the universe will decide to give Miami, this muggy land of hurricanes, poverty, foreclosures and zombie atta ... More >>
On Sunday, The New York Times Magazine published a Q&A and photo spread with Dwyane Wade entitled, "Dwyane Wade Loves His Jordans and His Body Lotion". That title tells you everything you need to know about this story, in which Wade speaks on his love for baby wipes, "the powders for my feet", ... More >>
The Miami Heat aren't going to make this easy. Assholes. The Heat overcame a sluggish start, a dickload of missed free throws, a motivated undead Celtics team, and an All-World epic playoff performance from Rajon Rondo to get their 115-111 overtime win over Boston and take a 2-0 lead in th ... More >>
The Miami Heat are three wins away from their second consecutive trip to the NBA Finals after taking down the Boston Celtics 93-79 last night.And while the rest of the world seethes in furious anger in their unbridled and irrational hatred at this news, perhaps even blaming LeBron James for that guy ... More >>
Remember when Dwyane Wade crapped the bed last week and we all wrote him off, like a bunch of assholes? Pffft.Wade dropped 41 points in Miami's 105-93 beatdown of the Indiana Pacers. MV3 scored 20 of his 41 in the second quarter, going 8-for-11 from the floor, and leading the Heat past what had bec ... More >>
What's better than having one face-cleaving rim wrecking badass mother cow on your basketball team? TWO face-cleaving rim wrecking badass mother cows.In front of a capacity crowd of Indiana fans waving a golden shower of yellow towels, and a Pacers team that had gotten a little too cocky for its own ... More >>
Up until last night, the story of this Eastern Conference semi-final was Chris Bosh's abdominal strain and how much the Heat would miss him. But after last night's 94-75 blowout loss to the Pacers, the story is now how Dwyane Wade magically transformed into an amorphous blob of basketball shittiness ... More >>
Here's a stat that you can print out, crumble into a ball, and shove up your ass: No team has ever won an NBA playoff game when their third-leading scorer dropped five or fewer points. Last night, Mario Chalmers scored five points on 2-of-10 shooting, Shane Battier scored five points on 1-of-2 shoot ... More >>
Last night's playoff game between the Heat and Pacers was more tense than a Basketball Wives reunion episode, and Dwyane Wade exhibited some very un-Wade like sportsmanship when he got called on a flagrant foul for colliding with the Pacers' Darren Collison. Some are calling for a suspension, but an ... More >>