Subject:

Dwyane Wade

  • Blogs

    April 17, 2014

    Heat Playoff Schedule Is Set: Here's What's Standing Between Miami and a Three-Peat

    Mercifully, the Heat's regular season came to an end Wednesday night with a 100-87 loss to the Philadelphia 76ers. The Heat loss means Miami finishes the season with a 54-28 record, 12 games worse than last season's franchise record 66-win campaign. With the second seed in the East locked up prior ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 28, 2014

    Miami's Best Eats and Drinks This Weekend: Seafood, Lunch, and Boozy Treats

    It's Friday and Ultra is filling Miami with music fans wearing DayGlo bikini tops and little else. If you're going, you'd best be planning for where to eat and drink after (you're going to need energy for the next day). If you're more into Bermuda shorts than florescent ones, there's a great seafoo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 11, 2014

    Dwyane Wade Blocked Drew Gooden So Hard Last Night He Blew Up Twitter

    Tied with Washington entering the fourth quarter, the Miami Heat was on the brink of losing its fourth straight game for the first time since 2010. Just then, Dwyane Wade swooped in and put his foot directly in that possibility's ass. Wade scored 13 of his 22 points in the fourth quarter, leadin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 6, 2014

    Heat-Toronto: A Dunk Like No Other (Video)

    While you were watching the NFL playoffs all weekend, the Miami Heat players were busy getting the taste of that Warriors ass-kicking out of their mouths by gargling with the Orlando Magic and Toronto Raptors on back-to-back nights. Following a 110-94 win in Orlando Saturday night, the Heat held o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 31, 2013

    Dwyane Wade's Baby Mama Is Aja Metoyer, Damon Wayans Jr.'s Ex

    Ever since news hit yesterday that Dwyane Wade fathered a child with a mystery woman, the internet has been dabbling in amateur detective work trying to figure out who the lady is. Well, TMZ Sports reports the woman is 30-year-old Aja Metoyer, who also happens to have two kids with Damon Wayans Jr., ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 30, 2013

    Reports: Dwyane Wade Fathered a Third Child With Mystery Women

    Dwyane Wade recently got engaged to long-time girlfriend Gabrielle Union and his two sons and a nephew helped out in the adorable Christmas-time proposal. But, according to gossip reports, Wade had another son who wasn't present. Gossip Cop and E! News reports that another woman gave birth to Wade's ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 4, 2013

    Miami Heat Boasts Its Bench Could Make The Playoffs

    Let's imagine a terrible scenario in which the Miami Heat's five starters all magically develop some sort of injury that collectively keeps all five out until the playoffs, Would the team even make the playoffs? Dwyane Wade and Udonis Haslem thinks the bench players could get them there on their own ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 26, 2013

    LeBron and Heat Catching Fire, Win Seventh Straight 107-92 Over Suns

    The Miami Heat (11-3) pushed the winning streak to seven games Monday night with a 107-92 win against the Phoenix Suns. The LeBron James ioS 2013 update continues to get rave reviews, finishing with 35 points, five rebounds, and four assists. Ray Allen had 17 points, and Chris Andersen chipped in 11 ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 22, 2013

    Dwyane Wade Is Jealous LeBron Was Named GQ's Most Stylish Athlete

    Dwyane Wade didn't seem to mind when he gave up his title of the Heat's best player to LeBron James, but apparently he does get touchy when people claim LeBron has better off-the-court style than he does. GQ recently named LeBron James as the most stylish athlete of 2013, and the always dapperly dre ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 20, 2013

    Dwyane Wade's Sitcom Needs a Less Porny Sounding Name

    Cultist pointed out that Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade has sold a sitcom to Fox based on his memoirs of fatherhood. It's a simple family show slated to be titled Three The Hard Way -- which if you aren't aware, is not only the name of a seminal '70s blaxplotation action flick, but also the name of mor ... More >>

  • News

    November 7, 2013
  • Blogs

    October 24, 2013

    Is Dwyane Wade the Biggest Villain in the NBA? Grantland Thinks So

    There's no denying that three years ago, LeBron James was the biggest villain in sports. Hell, Heat fans themselves were treated as rouges just for daring to root for him. But after two back-to-back championships, LeBron's public image has recovered. Of course, the sports media always needs a villai ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 2, 2013

    Miami Heat Training Camp: Five Questions To Answer This Preseason

    The Miami Heat kicked off their 2013 training camp Tuesday in the Bahamas, because of course they did, officially kicking off their attempt at back-to-back-to-back NBA titles, or as many are terming it, "Three-Heat." The team largely returns most of the same key components that led them to the past ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 22, 2013

    Dwyane Wade Claims His Ex-Wife Can't Be Homeless Because He Pays Her $25,000-a-Month

    Last week Dwyane Wade's ex-wife Siohvaughn Funches-Wade made a bizarre public protest outside of a Chicago courthouse in which she claimed to be living on the streets. Today Wade released a statement pointing out that he still pays her $25,000 each month.

  • Blogs

    July 11, 2013

    The Five Greatest Miami Heat Off-Season Moves

    The NBA off-season is less "off" and more a whole different full season as teams frantically try to keep up with the Joneses during a down time that begins just days after the finals. This week, free agency opened and teams began signing the players they think could put them over the hump. The movem ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 14, 2013

    Big Three Combine for 85 Points as Heat Wins Game Four 109-93

    Dwyane Wade and LeBron James combined for 65 points last night and Chris Bosh scored 20 to lead the Miami Heat to a critical series-equalizing, 109-93 Game Four win. Phewww! The win guarantees the series will end in Miami, as the Heat takes back the home-court advantage it earned with a franchise-re ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 12, 2013

    San Antonio Hits NBA Finals Record 16 Threes, Punishes Miami 113-77

    The good news is the Miami Heat took advantage of a little known NBA rule that states you can only lose once a night. The bad news is we have to play with footballs the rest of the series because the San Antonio Spurs shoved all the basketballs up the Miami Heat's collective asses in Game Three. Beh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 21, 2013

    Dwyane Wade on Marriage: "I Was Probably a Terrible Husband"

    Dwyane Wade's ongoing custody battle has been one of the most glum personal stories in the NBA, and one that has largely been played in public through court records. Wade however recently opened up about his failed marriage to ex-wife Siohvaughn Funches-Wade in Jet magazine, and admits he was "proba ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 14, 2013

    In Defense of Dwyane Wade's Man Capris

    Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade is no stranger to fashion provocation, but gauging by the reaction from his stroll into Chicago's United Center last night in a tailored Gucci suit that featured ankle-flashing capri pants, you would have assumed he'd shown up in a rainbow Speedo and glittery suspenders. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 29, 2013

    Heat Buries Bucks 88-77, Sweeps First-Round Series in Four Games

    The Miami Heat minus an injured Dwyane Wade closed out the Milwaukee Bucks Sunday afternoon with an 88-77 victory, sweeping the best-of-seven series four games to none. As was a theme in this series, the Bucks lulled the Miami Heat to sleep for three quarters, hanging around until the Heat decided ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 26, 2013

    Heat Take Commanding 3-0 Series Lead on Bucks With 104-91 Victory in Milwaukee

    The Miami Heat overcame a dismal first half Thursday night to defeat Milwaukee 104-91 to take a commanding 3-0 lead in this best of four series. Ray Allen came off the bench to score 23 points, hitting five of eight threes, while LeBron James finished with 22 points, six assists, and five rebounds. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 16, 2013

    Dwyane Wade: "I Need Three Rings"

    After 10 years in the league, Dwyane Wade is clearly in legacy mode, but what would make that legacy complete? Apparently just another ring. Wade tells the Associated Press that is goal was always to get a three-set, and anything after that is just icing on the cake. 

  • Blogs

    April 10, 2013

    Heat Ties Franchise Record for Wins as LeBron Scores 28 to Beat Bucks

    In a game that featured two teams seemingly just going through the motions, the Miami Heat pulled out its franchise-record-tying 61st win of the season, equaling the 1996-97 squad that finished 61-21. LeBron James was the sole member of the Big Three to suit up, and he led the Heat with 28 ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 25, 2013

    Heat Pull Out 11th Straight, Beat Cavs 109-105

    No Oscars were awarded for Dwyane Wade's fourth-quarter performance Sunday night. Just another Miami Heat win, that's all. With his team down seven with just under four minutes to go, the man they once called "Flash" played the role of superhero, scoring 11 of his 24 in the game's final five minutes ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 25, 2013

    Dwyane Wade's New Nickname Is WOW, and LeBron James Thinks It's "Corny"

    It's no longer "Flash," "D-Wade," or "MV3." If you're going to address Dwyane Wade informally, now you have to do so by his new self-appointed nickname: WOW. Yes, WOW, as in Way of Wade.Don't feel blasphemous if you think it's a little odd, because even LeBron James thinks it's corny.

  • Blogs

    February 21, 2013

    LeBron and Wade Borrow a Crazy Choreographed Slam Dunk From Miami Hurricanes

    The Miami Hurricanes basketball team isn't just making waves in the college world. They're inspiring the greatest players in the NBA too.Miami Heat stars Dwyane Wade and LeBron James were spotted in the stands when the 'Canes took on North Carolina and saw a crazy dunk so sweet they decided to recre ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 21, 2013

    Dwyane Wade's Ex-Wife Files New Custody Court Claims

    The seemingly never-ending custody battle between Dwyane Wade and his ex-wife Siohvaughn Fuches Wade continues to be just sad and depressing.According to TMZ, Fuches Wade has filed new claims in the case that Wade was depriving his two sons of asthma medication.

  • Blogs

    February 7, 2013

    Heat Hold Off Rockets 114-108 Thanks To 63 Points From James, Wade

    Facing a high scoring Houston Rockets team without Chris Bosh, the Miami Heat found themselves thrust into a good old fashioned cock fight. Unfortunately for the Rockets, even without Bosh - the Heat bring two Big Swinging Dicks to the scrum. LeBron James and Dwyane Wade combined for 63 po ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 18, 2013

    Heat Top Lakers 99-90 As LeBron, Wade Score 66 Combined

    We cool now, Heat fans? LeBron and Wade came into the Staples Center last night, dropped their shorts and proceeded to Danza-slap every Lakers player, coach and fan in attendance with a 99-90 victory that was ALL D-Wade and Cobradick.The Heat were the real stars in attendance despite the presence of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 28, 2012

    Dwyane Wade Gets One-Game Suspension for That Kick to the Nuts

    Dwyane Wade will sit out one game without pay after the NBA reviewed an incident in the Heat's game against the Charlotte Bobcats in which Wade apparently kicked Ramon Sessions in the nuts. Wade will serve the suspension tonight while his team takes on the Detroit Pistons.

  • Blogs

    December 27, 2012

    Did Dwyane Wade Kick Someone in the Nuts Last Night?

    The Miami Heat's Dwyane Wade isn't known for his dirty play, but last night he may have delivered one of the lowest blows known to man. Not just in sports, but in general.Because it kind of looked like he kicked the Charlotte Bobcats' Ramon Sessions square in the nuts last night.

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2012

    Heat Throttle Nets 103-73, Don't Care "Where Brooklyn At?"

    Your WORLD CHAMPION Miami Heat took on the newly-relocated Brooklyn Nets last night and proceeded to obliterate those Brooklyn/New Jersey/Whatever fools 103-73, proving that even if you move from a shitty state to a less shitty city borough, it doesn't change the fact that your squad is infinitely i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 1, 2012

    Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union Rode in Critical Mass on Friday

    Critical Mass Miami's rampant success speaks for itself, but this is Miami, so things tend not to register until there's some bold-face names involved. Well, on Friday night Miami Heat superstar Dwyane Wade and his Hollywood boo Gabrielle Union joined the bike activist ride, which obviously now mean ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 27, 2012

    ESPN: Miami Heat Have Both NBA's Best and Worst Player

    I guess it's only fair that since the Miami Heat have the undisputed best basketball player in the world that they should also have the worst player in the entire league.To no one's surprise, ESPN's experts today put LeBron James atop their #NBARank listicle, which is kind of hilarious because ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 28, 2012

    Dwyane Wade Needs Knee Surgery, Will Skip Olympics

    In bad news for the USA Basketball team (but sort of good news for next season's Miami Heat), Dwyane Wade has announced that he'll be undergoing knee surgery this summer and will not be traveling with the team to the London Olympics.

  • News

    June 21, 2012
  • Blogs

    June 21, 2012

    Dwyane Wade's Flip-up Sunglasses Actually Were Meant as a Joke

    Forget all those lens-less glasses, fishing lure shirts and man purses. Dwyane Wade raised the bar on quirky NBA press conference fashion on Tuesday night by wearing flip-up sunglasses. Lest you think Wade has lost his damned mind and thought they just looked fly as hell (well, OK, he kind of did), ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 19, 2012

    Dwyane Wade Hasn't Lost The Fire To Be The Best

    Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke addresses the future of the Miami Heat's biggest star.Whether the Heat wins or loses the NBA Finals, everybody should stop talkin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 19, 2012

    Dwyane Wade's Ex-Wife Arrested After Barricading Herself in Home With Sons

    The latest episode in Dwyane Wade's personal saga with his ex-wife Siohvaughn Funches-Wade couldn't have come at a worse time. In the midst of the NBA finals, Wade's lawyers have filed a petition to suspend Siohvaughn's right to visitation with their two sons following an incident this weekend that ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 13, 2012

    Miami Heat Let First-Half Lead Slip Away, Lose Game 1

    Game 1 of the 2012 NBA Finals was a tale of two halves.The Miami Heat shot out of the gate strong, hitting shots, making threes and getting a huge game from *record scratch* Shane Battier!But the second half was a whole other bag of salted cock n' balls as Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook did to t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 7, 2012

    If The Heat Lose Tonight, Who Might Not Be Wearing a Miami Jersey Next Year?

    This is a silly, stupid little post to be writing. The Heat will of course stage a magnificent comeback tonight and go on to emerge victorious in the finals, because whatever powers that rule the universe will decide to give Miami, this muggy land of hurricanes, poverty, foreclosures and zombie atta ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 7, 2012

    Dwyane Wade's Bookshelf Is Full Of Muscle Car Classics

    On Sunday, The New York Times Magazine published a Q&A and photo spread with Dwyane Wade entitled, "Dwyane Wade Loves His Jordans and His Body Lotion". That title tells you everything you need to know about this story, in which Wade speaks on his love for baby wipes, "the powders for my feet", ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 31, 2012

    Heat Overcome Rajon Rondo, Take Game 2 in OT

    The Miami Heat aren't going to make this easy. Assholes. The Heat overcame a sluggish start, a dickload of missed free throws, a motivated undead Celtics team, and an All-World epic playoff performance from Rajon Rondo to get their 115-111 overtime win over Boston and take a 2-0 lead in th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 29, 2012

    Heat Take Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals

    The Miami Heat are three wins away from their second consecutive trip to the NBA Finals after taking down the Boston Celtics 93-79 last night.And while the rest of the world seethes in furious anger in their unbridled and irrational hatred at this news, perhaps even blaming LeBron James for that guy ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 25, 2012

    Dwyane Wade Scores 41 as Heat Advance to Eastern Conference Finals

    Remember when Dwyane Wade crapped the bed last week and we all wrote him off, like a bunch of assholes? Pffft.Wade dropped 41 points in Miami's 105-93 beatdown of the Indiana Pacers. MV3 scored 20 of his 41 in the second quarter, going 8-for-11 from the floor, and leading the Heat past what had bec ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 21, 2012

    LeBron Makes History and D-Wade Bounces Back as the Heat Tie Series 2-2

    What's better than having one face-cleaving rim wrecking badass mother cow on your basketball team? TWO face-cleaving rim wrecking badass mother cows.In front of a capacity crowd of Indiana fans waving a golden shower of yellow towels, and a Pacers team that had gotten a little too cocky for its own ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 18, 2012

    Dwyane Wade Implodes as Heat Fall Into 2-1 Hole Against the Pacers

    Up until last night, the story of this Eastern Conference semi-final was Chris Bosh's abdominal strain and how much the Heat would miss him. But after last night's 94-75 blowout loss to the Pacers, the story is now how Dwyane Wade magically transformed into an amorphous blob of basketball shittiness ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 16, 2012

    Heat Drop Game 2 to the Pacers

    Here's a stat that you can print out, crumble into a ball, and shove up your ass: No team has ever won an NBA playoff game when their third-leading scorer dropped five or fewer points. Last night, Mario Chalmers scored five points on 2-of-10 shooting, Shane Battier scored five points on 1-of-2 shoot ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 16, 2012

    Dwyane Wade Won't Be Suspended for Last Night's Flagrant Foul

    Last night's playoff game between the Heat and Pacers was more tense than a Basketball Wives reunion episode, and Dwyane Wade exhibited some very un-Wade like sportsmanship when he got called on a flagrant foul for colliding with the Pacers' Darren Collison. Some are calling for a suspension, but an ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 10, 2012

    LeBron James and the Heat Extinguish Knicks, Move on to Eastern Conference Semis

    After losing Game 4 in New York, and after the Knicks celebrated with streamers and threw a parade down the Canyon of Heroes after winning their first playoff game in 4,024 days, the Miami Heat reminded everyone that they, in fact, are the better team and finally extinguished the Knicks from the pla ... More >>

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