Donna Shalala

NCAA Says UM Is "Grasping at Straws" By Requesting Dismissal of Shapiro Complaint

While the University of Miami and president Donna Shalala have campaigned to have the NCAA throw out its controversial investigation, the NCAA has now lashed back and claims that UM is "grasping at straws."

The Best "Donna Shalala is a Total Bad Ass" Tweets

University of Miami's diminutive president Donna Shalala has surprisingly emerged as the biggest bad ass in the world of sports by telling NCAA prez Mark Emmert where to stick it last night. Or as Bruce Feldman put it, "I have never seen a school President go after the NCAA like Donna Shalala has th ... More >>

University of Miami Receives NCAA Notice of Allegations and Donna Shalala is Still Pissed

The University of Miami finally received its Notice of Allegation from the NCAA today, and University President Donna Shalala sent a statement to students and alumni tonight detailing the NCAA's findings. Though, Shalala did not specifically mention it, the AP reports the school has been charged wit ... More >>

University of Miami Demands No Further Punishment from NCAA

University of Miami President Donna Shalala has had about enough of the NCAA's shit. Following today's release of the NCAA findings of its own investigation into itself, Shalala released a strongly worded statement demanding that the NCAA basically stop screwing around, put an end to the two-and-hal ... More >>

Donna Shalala Must Ease Up on UM Football

Donna Shalala Is Running Hurricanes Football Into the Ground

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses the sorry state of Hurricanes football.It is University of Miami Coach Al Golden's second year on the job, and he's on h ... More >>

UM's New Athletic Director: Who's Applying?

Who's Applying To Be University of Miami AD? An Exclusive Look at the Candidates

For the third time since 2008 the Miami Hurricanes are on the hunt for a new athletics director. Don't worry though, University of Miami President Donna Shalala says she has heard from literally hundreds of people who wants the job. "I'm getting hundreds of emails from people wanting the job," she t ... More >>

University of Miami Med School to Lay Off 800 Employees

The Miami economy got a shock today when the county's largest private employer, the University of Miami, filed a notice that it plans to lay off 800 employees from its medical school. The move comes two weeks after university president Donna Shalala said the medical school was planning on cutting ba ... More >>

White House Confuses University of Miami for That Ohio School

President Barack Obama was just at the University of Miami, so you'd think that his staff could get the name of the school correct. Apparently not. The White House sent out a press release today describing University of Miami president Donna Shalala as "President of Miami University." Miami Uni ... More >>

UM Athletes Won't Have To Testify About Nevin Shapiro's Gifts As School Pays Back $83,000

Donna Shalala may have just averted her worst nightmare. Ever since Napoleonic Ponzi booster Nevin Shapiro spilled his guts to Yahoo Sports this summer with allegations that he'd rained gifts on student-athletes -- from cars to hookers to piles of cash -- the worst-case scenario for the Canes would ... More >>

Miami locals' New Year's resolutions

2012 Resolutions: From Hank Adorno to Donna Shalala to Sid Rosenberg

Let's face it. For most of us, keeping a New Year's resolution is as likely as the Miami Dolphins finally finding Dan Marino's successor in the draft.And some locals should look back on the past year with shameful regret.They could use a fresh start, so Banana Republican came up with some ideas to h ... More >>

Donna Shalala Overlooked UM Psychiatrist's Ethical Lapses Thanks to Promised Funding, Report Says

via Yahoo SportsShalala takes Nevin Shapiro's money.​Donna Shalala's month keeps getting worse. Fresh off a public flogging over failing to sniff out Nevin Shapiro, the University of Miami prez allowed a shady, drug-company-funded professor to be hired as psychiatry department chair because new fu ... More >>

University of Miami Ranked 38th Best University in Nation by US News

​The University of Miami has risen nine spots in the latest edition of US News & World Report's annual college rankings. The school is now ranked the 38th best in the nation, up from the 47th position last year. For the second year in a row, the school is the only Florida institution ... More >>

Jacory Harris is Sorry He Was Such a Pain in Donna Shalala's Ass

​So, the University of Miami has decided its time to let Jacory Harris say words in public again, and trotted their starting quarterback in front of the media today after he was suspended for the Maryland game after admitting he took about $140 in impermissible benefits from Nevin Shapiro. Har ... More >>

Reader mail: Nevin Shapiro is a "little Napoleon"

Buzz Bissinger: Kill Miami Football Forever, Hold Congressional Hearings, Indict Shalala on Perjury

​Buzz Bissinger is a grumpy man who likes to yell about sports and who was once, and still occasionally moonlights as, a pretty damn respected journalist. Of course, in his post as a sports columnist for the Daily Beast, he mainly sticks to his angry, self-righteous sports-guy shtick and last nigh ... More >>

Donna Shalala Must Admit Blame In Nevin Shapiro Scandal or Resign

​Yesterday, we finally heard Donna Shalala comment on Hurricane Nevin, the category 5 storm of a man who released the Kraken on her and Canes nation. You'd think a lady who worked in the Clinton Administration would know how to do a little damage control. Instead, the University of Miami president ... More >>

The University of Miami Rathskeller: Tomorrow's the End

via urathskeller.com​Anyone familiar with UM knows "The Rat" is anything but a dirty rodent. Since 1972 it has served as the meeting place for students and faculty alike. Maybe because the Rathskeller is the only full service restaurant on-campus (not to mention the only place that serves alcohol) ... More >>

University of Miami is One of America's Most Stressful Schools

​For a school that used to be known as one of America's greatest institutes of outdoor tanning practices the University of Miami has certainly improved its academic standings on President Donna Shalala. Though with that heightened emphasis on academic prestige comes more stress for students, a ... More >>

Donald Trump Tells University of Miami to Hire Mike Leach

​Douche respects douche. So it's really no surprise that Donald Trump, of all people, really wants the University of Miami to hire Mike Leach, of all coaches. The Donald, or perhaps some sentient being living deep in the recesses of his hair, ripped out a page from The Palm Beach Post, scrawle ... More >>

Randy's Gone, But Will Donna Shalala and Kirby Hocutt Step Up?

​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Uncle Luke comes to terms with the end of the Randy Shannon era.Saturday was one of the saddest days for Miami-Dade's Afri ... More >>

Miami Herald Thinks Donna Shalala is the Times Square Bomber

​Apparently, The Miami Herald thinks all people of Middle Eastern decent look alike. While running a story yesterday on University of Miami President Donna Shalala they accidentally ran a photo of what appears to be would-be-Times Square bomber Faisal Shahzad. Shahzad, Shalala. Shalala, Shahzad. P ... More >>

George Steinbrenner Was UM President Donna Shalala's Little League Coach

via FacebookA Little Shalala​The passing of New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner may have been met with a bit of apathy in these parts, but one local goes way, way back with "The Boss." Turns out that University of Miami president Donna Shalala first met Steibrenner back when she was nine ye ... More >>

String of Swastika Symbols Found on University of Miami Campus

via Miami.eduHecht Residential College​The University of Miami is investigating four separate incidents in the past two weeks of school property being defaced by swastikas.President Donna Shalala sent an email to students and staff today notifying them of incidents taking place March 2, 10, and 11 ... More >>

Champs Sports Bowl: Miami vs. Wisconsin

​Champs Sports Bowl: Miami Hurricanes vs Wisconsin Badgers, 8 p.m. ESPNSince college football doesn't have anything resembling a meaningful post-season, the most you can ask for besides ending up in a BCS bowl is an entertaining season. And boy did Canes fans get it this year. There was the joy of ... More >>

More on the UM Lockdown: Students Stuck in the Gym Have Places to Be, Damn It

Coral Gables Police DepartmentThe BB gun shooter rode in this silver Volvo, cops say.About 200 students are locked inside a gym at University of Miami as we speak, thanks to an alleged BB gun shooter. School President Donna Shalala sent text messages and e-mails around 3 p.m. today asking folks to " ... More >>

Swastika Found on UM Bathroom Wall Near Jewish Studies Building

A statue outside the Miller Center​A swastika was found drawn on a University of Miami bathroom wall near the Miller Center for Contemporary Judaic Studies. Another swastika was found in the same area almost a year ago.President Donna Shalala released a statement condemning the act:On Tuesday some ... More >>

David Cross Did Cocaine at the Same Table as Donna Shalala

via Wiki Commons user Nightscream/CC3.0David Cross​Generally, David Cross is a pretty funny fellow, but sometimes he seems so damn smug. I guess if I starred in Arrested Development and Mr. Show, I would be pretty self-satisfied, even if I had done some Hollywood bullshit like Alvin ... More >>

UM Offers Umbrella Escorts To Protect Students From Bird Menace

still from The Birds I am a victim. This is my story. Last year, because their was literally no parking left anywhere on University of Miami's Coral Gables campus, I parked behind the northern dining hall. While making my way to my car, I was attacked. By a hawk. It came down on my head, scare ... More >>

UM Addresses The Impact of Econ Crisis

Nothing is immune to the economic crisis, not even the palm tree'd oasis in Coral Gables known as the University of Miami. After many alumnus expressed their concern, president Donna Shalala sent out a letter to all alum today addressing the impact on UM. Here's the highlights: UM has made a lot of ... More >>

News Roundup

LocalGetting laid off individually is so trite. The new trend is to be part of a mass layoff. Unfortunately, all of your friends are doing it. [Herald]We're number one! This time in highest health-care costs in the nation. [Herald]Miami Commissioner Marc Sarnoff will bring up a resolution at today's ... More >>

Shalala Staying Put

Vintage ShalalaWhen the Herald reported yesterday that Donna Shalala might be returning to D.C. to take the reigns once again at the Department of Health and Human Services after Tom Daschle scampered off with his Sally Jesse Raphael glasses and tax mess, we kind of thought it smelled funny. First, ... More >>

Shalala, Obama. Obama, Shalala.

This is the closest Manny may ever get to a Cabinet position. Last night, a friend and fellow UM grad and I were talking about the sudden opening for Health & Human Service Secretary, and she said, "Obama should appoint Shalala." To which I said, "I was hoping someone on the internet would say i ... More >>

Donna Shalala's Extra Curriculars

Poor Donna Shalala. While she's not busy being president of University of Miami she sits on the board of directors for various companies. Duties for which she gets paid nothing, but which must be causing stress at the moment. She's a director of both Lennar and Gannett. While she's not involved in t ... More >>

The Even Less Likely Cabinet Rumors

Salon: Florida Election Debacle Deja Vu

No One Cares That Randy Shannon Keeps Losing

The Red Couch

German artist Horst Wackerbarth brings his famous furniture to Miami

In Sarah Palin's World Tony Sparano is Torpedo Vindicator

Donna Shalala Won't Be Your Drinking Buddy

Glass Spilleth Over

A gleaming exhibit opens at the Lowe.

Sit, Ubu, Sit

It’s a dog’s life at Pawpurrazzi tonight.

The Tesseract

In: Sasha and Digweed, the Sagamore, public transportation. Out: DJ Irie.

Letters from the Issue of October 14-20,2004

Politics on campus and cops on cops

An Idea Whose Time Has Gone

A grand plan to fight Latin poverty flunks out at UM

Punt

That's what UM administrators did rather than answer questions about athletes and academics

Best Power Babes

Janet Reno and Donna Shalala

Meditations on the L-Word

Janet, Donna, Hillary, and Me