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Blogs
March 7, 2012
ShipRocked Cruise Announces 2012 Lineup: Godsmack, Five Finger Death Punch, P.O.D.
Thanks to South Florida's various ports, the region has become the epicenter of the music cruise phenomenon. We've already battled through the Bruise Cruise, uhntz-uhntz-ed aboard Hard's Holy Ship!, and even done time (and drugs) on a boat loaded with hippie music fans. But a few of Crossfade' ... More >>
Blogs
December 5, 2011
Jose Reyes to the Marlins: The Conflicting Emotions of A Miami-Residing Mets Fan
I was in the stands at Shea Stadium in 2006 when Endy Chavez, God bless his tiny heart, made this heroic catch in the NLCS' Game 7 to seemingly seal the Mets' glorious destiny. That was the last time I've ever experienced joy. Three innings later, Carlos Beltran was frozen by an Adam Wainwright ... More >>
Blogs
December 1, 2011
Pitbull Makes GQ's "Least Influential" List, But Not Ours; Meet Miami's Five Least Influential
In the December issue of GQ magazine, our hometown boy Pitbull is the only Miamian to make the list of the "25 Least Influential People Alive." Tim Pawlenty claimed the top spot and others on the list with less clout than the Cuban-American rapper include actress Gwenyth Patrow, deposed E ... More >>
Blogs
November 28, 2011
Cocaine, Pick-Pocketing, and Pissing Into Trashcans: What Really Goes on Inside Clubs
September's fatal shooting at Nocturnal got us wondering: What really goes on behind the velvet ropes in Miami's most chichi clubs? Our sickly journalist physique hardly qualified us to infiltrate the tanned and Ed Hardy-clad world, so instead we requested 12 months of police reports from one SoBe h ... More >>
News
July 28, 2011
Sunny Isles Beach gangster Jason Eibinder brags on Facebook
September's fatal shooting at Nocturnal got us wondering: What really goes on behind the velvet ropes in Miami's most chichi clubs? Our sickly journalist physique hardly qualified us to infiltrate the tanned and Ed Hardy-clad world, so instead we requested 12 months of police reports from one SoBe h ... More >>
Blogs
July 26, 2011
Man in Ed Hardy Shirt, Fanning Self With Cash, Winking, Might Not Have Gotten That Money Through Legal Means
Whatever happened to the stoic Eastern European mobster? You know, the Viggo Mortensen type who communicates via grunts, cryptic tattoos, and the bludgeoning end of a fire extinguisher? Meet 22-year-old Sunny Isles Beach luminary Jason Eibinder, arrested in January for his role in a massive Rom ... More >>
Blogs
June 16, 2011
Vancouver Riots: At Least Miami Heat Fans Didn't Burn The City Down After Dallas Won
via You TubeProfessor Charles Barkley, a noted sociologist and all around portly fellow, recently proposed a hypothesis that the Miami Heat "have the worst fans."Chuck, you might want to watch some video of what went down in Vancouver last night. Because we're pretty sure that burning your city's ... More >>
Blogs
June 1, 2011
Dallas Mavericks vs. Miami Heat Game 1: Winning Time
If you're a fan of low scoring games, low-percentage shooting and sleep depravity, then Game 1 of the NBA Finals was the game for you!LeBron James scored 24 while Dwyane Wade added 22 and Chris Bosh went for 19 as the Miami Heat took down the Dallas Mavericks 92-84 to take the first game of the b ... More >>
Blogs
May 30, 2011
Fashion Freakouts on Memorial Day Weekend
Out on the streets of Miami Beach during this long Memorial Day weekend, there were some innovative, crazy, stupid, and jaw-dropping ensembles. This year, the hipster look was in full effect and preppy getups were peppered in among more revealing garb. Gender-bending hair was all the rave wit ... More >>
Blogs
March 8, 2011
Miami Heat's Number One Fan Wears Uggs
via SportsGridAt recent Miami Heat home games, there have been not only groans and "ugh"s in the stands, but also Uggs. As in those ugly furry boots that University of Miami sorority sisters wear with miniskirts any time the temperature dips below 70. Those crimes against footwear really have no ... More >>
Blogs
March 8, 2011
Miami Heat's Number One Fan Wears Uggs
via SportsGridAt Miami Heat home games lately there have been for than a few of groans and "ughs" in the stands, but there have been literal Uggs. As in those ugly furry boots that University of Miami sorority sisters put on with miniskirts any time the temperature dips below 70. Those crimes aga ... More >>
Blogs
December 3, 2010
Ten Things Not to Wear to an Art Basel Miami Beach Club Party
via terminallaughter.caFat guy Suspenders = Faux pasArt Basel is in full swing by now. There are oversized mollusks all over the freaking place! But in addition to the "art," come some of the very best parties, like, ever.Case in point: How To Dress Well and Toro y Moi tomorrow night at Bardot. ... More >>
Calendar
November 25, 2010
Skulls For Your Wrists
via terminallaughter.caFat guy Suspenders = Faux pasArt Basel is in full swing by now. There are oversized mollusks all over the freaking place! But in addition to the "art," come some of the very best parties, like, ever.Case in point: How To Dress Well and Toro y Moi tomorrow night at Bardot. ... More >>
News
November 4, 2010
Gino Cabanas's work of genius doesn't pay
via terminallaughter.caFat guy Suspenders = Faux pasArt Basel is in full swing by now. There are oversized mollusks all over the freaking place! But in addition to the "art," come some of the very best parties, like, ever.Case in point: How To Dress Well and Toro y Moi tomorrow night at Bardot. ... More >>
Blogs
October 28, 2010
Jersey Shore: One of The Situation's Miami Hookups Gives Her Side of the Story
via BWERemember Annabelle DeSisto? She was the girl this season The Situation picked up at club Space, only to refuse to smoosh with him and dropped the classic line, "I never said anything about checkers old man." She also happens to be a former Miss Teen Florida. Well she gave her side of the s ... More >>
Blogs
October 22, 2010
Jersey Shore Damage Report: Farewell Sweet Guidos
via MTVOur long, local nightmare is over. Actually, it was more like a slightly upsetting drunken fever dream, but whatever the case last night we said "So long, farewell, auf Guido-sehen, goodnight" once and for all to our most infamous temporary residents: the cast of Jersey Shore. Amazingly, d ... More >>
Blogs
October 20, 2010
Dances with Guidos: Snooki's Hair Whipping vs. The Situation's Fist Pumping
Snooki's magical glasses return! The gripping finale of Jersey Shore season two airs tomorrow, and with the crew heading back to the series' eponymous location for season three we'll have to say goodbye to our favorite guidos. So, obviously, we must treasure these last precious moments we have wi ... More >>
Blogs
October 1, 2010
Jersey Shore Damage Report: Exit Angelina
via MTVSadly, time is winding down to the Macaroni Rascal's tour of destruction in Miami, but last night the journey ended for Angelina. Yes, the life-sized rat in a mini-dress and bad mascara decided to once again pack up all of the extra Swiss cheese and various shiny things she found around th ... More >>
Blogs
September 24, 2010
Jersey Shore Damage Report: You Made Your Dirty Tampon Bed, Now Sleep In It
After last week's special VMA edition scheduling confused us, we're back once again recapping the poignant take of the descendants of Italian immigrants trying to make it in the tropical melting pot of Miami Beach. Yes, it's Jersey Shore damage report time! Last night we learned never to leave ou ... More >>
Blogs
July 30, 2010
Big Pink and Co.: Hangover Helpers in Miami
It's 3:30 a.m. and you're on your way home from a night out. Your speech is slurred and you're sweating Grey Goose. No one is laughing at your jokes or joining in on your renditions of Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance." Worse, you're starving. So where should you direct your designated driver? In no s ... More >>
Blogs
July 29, 2010
The Jersey Shore in South Beach Drinking Game
Are you prepared for the most important night in Miami pop culture history? MTV unleashes the second season of Jersey Shore tonight at 10. It follows everyone's favorite guidos as they hook up, drink, and fight their way through South Beach. This might bring a tiny bit of shame to our fair city, ... More >>
Calendar
July 15, 2010
Free and Open
Are you prepared for the most important night in Miami pop culture history? MTV unleashes the second season of Jersey Shore tonight at 10. It follows everyone's favorite guidos as they hook up, drink, and fight their way through South Beach. This might bring a tiny bit of shame to our fair city, ... More >>
Blogs
March 15, 2010
Jersey Shore Cast Must Get Medical Clearance Before Coming to Miami
So Jersey Shore is officially coming to South Beach for season two, but before the cast mates arrive, they'll have to undergo a series of medical tests.We're not sure if it's for our safety or theirs. Lord knows what kind of health havoc they could wreak on our great city. I mean, they each ... More >>
Blogs
February 23, 2010
Where in the World Is Renyel Pinto? Part Two
Have you seen this man?The saga of Renyel Pinto, fugitive Marlins reliever, continues. In November, Riptide reported that the rotund Venezuelan pitcher had skipped court dates in both Miami-Dade and Broward counties and was being chased by an arrest warrant and a $6,000 summary judgment as ... More >>
News
February 4, 2010
Super Bowl guide to sex, drugs, gambling, and living large in South Florida
Have you seen this man?The saga of Renyel Pinto, fugitive Marlins reliever, continues. In November, Riptide reported that the rotund Venezuelan pitcher had skipped court dates in both Miami-Dade and Broward counties and was being chased by an arrest warrant and a $6,000 summary judgment as ... More >>
Blogs
February 3, 2010
Q&A With DJ MGA, of Fox's Shuffle Tuesdays
This interview is with up-and-coming local DJ Matthew Andrews, a.k.a. MGA. Folks might know him from some downtown hotspots like the Vagabond, where he pops in for the occasional Friday set. His main gig, though, is holding it down in South Miami, at the long-running Shuffle Tuesdays party at Fox ... More >>
Calendar
December 10, 2009
Way Cooler than Cookie Monsters
This interview is with up-and-coming local DJ Matthew Andrews, a.k.a. MGA. Folks might know him from some downtown hotspots like the Vagabond, where he pops in for the occasional Friday set. His main gig, though, is holding it down in South Miami, at the long-running Shuffle Tuesdays party at Fox ... More >>
Blogs
December 1, 2009
Whiskey Tango: For the "Good" White Trash
Night Watch is a regular feature about bars and clubs by nightlife columnist Tara Nieuwesteeg. We walked in to Whiskey Tango All American Bar and Grill (1903 Hollywood Blvd, Hollywood; 954-925-2555; whiskeytangofl.com) to the sounds of an atrocious cover band playing "Summer of '69" and grabbed ... More >>
Blogs
November 23, 2009
Night Watch Visits the Whiskey Tango All-American Bar and Grill
Night Watch is a regularly-occurring feature about bars and clubs by nightlife columnist Tara Nieuwesteeg.When we walked in to the Whiskey Tango All American Bar and Grill (1903 Hollywood Blvd, Hollywood Call 954-925-2555 or visit whiskeytangofl.com), we were assaulted by the sounds of an atroc ... More >>
Blogs
October 30, 2009
Moron of the Week: Self-Destructive Ponzi Baller Sean Healy
Photo via MySpace.com Never mind the fact hat he dresses like a club promoter. If your investment manager has a MySpace page, get a new investment manager.Forget Flagler, Tuttle, and Brickell. We need to start naming streets and bridges after a historical figure whose legacy is honored eve ... More >>
Calendar
October 29, 2009
Uber Exclusive South Beach Party, Bro
Photo via MySpace.com Never mind the fact hat he dresses like a club promoter. If your investment manager has a MySpace page, get a new investment manager.Forget Flagler, Tuttle, and Brickell. We need to start naming streets and bridges after a historical figure whose legacy is honored eve ... More >>
Blogs
October 28, 2009
Review: Hori Smoku Sailor Jerry Screening at Miami Art Space, October 27
Photo by Arielle CastilloJacuzzi Boys played after the drink-sodden film screening.Hori Smoku Sailor Jerry ScreeningMiami Art Space, Wynwood, MiamiTuesday, October 27, 2009Better Than: Shopping for remaindered Ed Hardy clothes in that sad sample sale/clearance trailer on US1 down south.The Review ... More >>
Blogs
October 27, 2009
Uber Exclusive South Beach Party at Vagabond Thursday, Bro
Ed Hardy must die.The Ed Hardy T-shirt. Nothing is a bigger symbol of douchebaggery in clubland than it. It's a faux-tattoo armor for those too wimpy to get real ones. Bedazzled and they achieve a whole another level of douchiness. Oh, and if you're wearing Affliction you have two strikes against ... More >>
Blogs
October 26, 2009
Celebrate Sailor Jerry's Tattoo Legacy Tomorrow With a Documentary, Jacuzzi Boys, and Free Booze!
Here's a last-minute heads up: Tomorrow night is the local screening of Hori Smoku Sailor Jerry, the new documentary about the life and times of the tattoo legend. Born Norman Keith Collins, he became the go-to ink man in Hawaii, where he developed his singular style on the bodies of hard-living ... More >>
Calendar
October 22, 2009
400 Ways to Get Your Party On
Here's a last-minute heads up: Tomorrow night is the local screening of Hori Smoku Sailor Jerry, the new documentary about the life and times of the tattoo legend. Born Norman Keith Collins, he became the go-to ink man in Hawaii, where he developed his singular style on the bodies of hard-living ... More >>
News
September 24, 2009
Good luck lurks at Scully's Tavern in Kendall
Here's a last-minute heads up: Tomorrow night is the local screening of Hori Smoku Sailor Jerry, the new documentary about the life and times of the tattoo legend. Born Norman Keith Collins, he became the go-to ink man in Hawaii, where he developed his singular style on the bodies of hard-living ... More >>
Dining
August 13, 2009
Shiso Cool
Consider this sushi joint a neat place for a drink and really great bar snacks.
Calendar
July 16, 2009
Fashion: The Other White Meat
Consider this sushi joint a neat place for a drink and really great bar snacks.
Blogs
July 16, 2009
Fashion Week Swim 2010: KRELwear Goes Neon, Chloe Gets Sexy at W, Gansevoort Disappoints
Jipsy/NefariousGirl.comKRELwear show at Miami Splashion at LIV.Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim cannon balled into town last night, so expect another stream of parties, models, fashion and debauchery in the middle of our slowest season, during one of our country's greatest economic depressions. The f ... More >>
Blogs
May 26, 2009
Txts from Last Night: a 305 Odyssey
via Just Making ConvoDon't have Twitter yet but want to make your drunken cell phone-written ramblings available to the public? Well, luckily Txts from Last Night is here. The site collects weird, user-submitted text messages from anonymous sources only identified by their area code. I don't know ho ... More >>
Blogs
May 4, 2009
Rainy Day Musings #12 and 35
You Can Change The Spelling, But...The Z Ocean Hotel, formerly known as The Regent and home to Table 8 Restaurant, has opened Zushi Flirt -- formerly Flirt Sushi, which went out of business rather quickly after opening at Washington Avenue and 12th Street three years ago. Owner Marko Radisic still h ... More >>
Music
April 23, 2009
Head Spins: DJ La Trice
Kicking the model beat on Lincoln Road.
Blogs
January 7, 2009
Miami According to Brooklyn: Tattoo Conventions are for Jackasses
To read past installments of Miami According to Brooklyn, click here. With the tattoo convention coming up this weekend in Miami, I want to talk about how these conventions are full of jackasses. I used to work for Eulogy Recordings, one of sponsors of it, and Madball is playing on Saturday - that's ... More >>
News
November 13, 2008
Tales of Breakups at Splitsville, South Miami's New Bowling Alley
Anything involving preying mantises and Madonna can't be boring.
Blogs
August 22, 2008
Last Night: Smashing Pumpkins at Mizner Park Amphitheatre
Anything involving preying mantises and Madonna can't be boring.
Blogs
July 21, 2008
Over The Weekend - Swim Week, Jamie Lidell and Poplife
Anything involving preying mantises and Madonna can't be boring.
Blogs
July 21, 2008
Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim Recap
Anything involving preying mantises and Madonna can't be boring.
Music
August 31, 2006
Dress to Dis
A $2000 suit with cheapo pants. Yikes!

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