Think literary events are for snobs? Such an assessment would make you an awful person, although this year's Miami International Book Fair did just get decidedly more dickish. Former Vice President and current cowboy hat enthusiast Dick Cheney's imminent appearance was announced yesterday in a press ... More >>
Father's Day is this Sunday, and it's an obligatory holiday. One exception: If you're a fetus whose dad has dubbed himself "Yeezus," you have our permission to ignore the holiday from now until forever. But for the rest of us, it's time to start the mad scramble for a last-minute gift. This isn't l ... More >>
Drug smokin', Lower East Side squattin', dumpster divin' crust-metal pop-punk crew Leftover Crack is a band that's mastered the art of branding. For 14 years, these dudes have made themselves synonymous with unwashed, disgruntled vagabond youth culture, playing left-field ska-punk laced with death ... More >>
Given Florida's swing state importance, large population and Southern-but-not-quite status, you'd think that someone from this state would have been on a national presidential ticket by now, at least as a running mate.The media is currently rife with speculation that Senator Marco Rubio could be Mit ... More >>
Cheney: Locked, loaded, and ready to pop off.Everybody knows that former Vice President Dick Cheney is old, sick, and possibly evil. But is he a pimp? Yes, indeed. And despite the fact that Cheney is a 70-year-old end-stage heart failure case who's contemplating a transplant while being kept ali ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke dissects the worldwide UFO conspiracy.A propaganda campaign to prepare us for the next big war is underway. But this time ... More >>
To hear former Vice President Dick Cheney tell it, if Florida voters don't elect Marco Rubio as our next senator, we'll soon live in a socialistic hellhole where terrorist attacks are scheduled every hour on the hour. Yes, the scariest vice president in history officially endorsed Rubio ... More >>
via BBJThe flashy cars, the speedboats, the trendy clothes, the bling-bling. Yeah, maybe dudes in Miami are trying to compensate for something.Online love glove store Condomania sells rubbers in 76 sizes that keep you covered no matter if you're packing a plantain or a beer can. The product has b ... More >>
Eventually, we're all going to end up unwittingly shooting one of our friends. It happens. It happened to Dick Cheney and his hunting buddy. It happened to Charlie Sheen when he inadvertently capped then-fiancée Kelly Preston. It happened to Plaxico Burress and his thigh. Now the Marlins' Jose ... More >>
We know Alan Grayson only has a tenious connection to our local readership, but important news on our favorite hot liberal mess has just come to our intention: He has told former Vice President Dick Cheney to, and we quote, "STFU."Dick Cheney occasionally pops out of his underground torture dungeon ... More >>
Let's just get this out of the way: Riptide is the last place you'll read any criticism of Alan Grayson, the U.S. representative from Orlando, for his raging political Tourette's syndrome.We wish more politicians would jump on the Grayson crazy train. What's better than hearing your local rep of ... More >>
Of all the outrages perpetrated at Guantanamo Bay -- which New Times explored in depth earlier this year on our visit to the prison camp in southern Cuba -- one of the strangest has to be the military's music-based "futility technique."via Wikimedia CommonsIn case you've succeeded in washing the ... More >>
I didn't want to put up another pix of LeMieux's face, so in its place is the greatest picture of all time. Remember when Mel Martinez deemed his primary opponent Bill McCollum as the "new darling of the homosexual extremists?" Well, now he's being replaced by the new new darling of the homosexua ... More >>
Sorry to be so GitMo heavy today, but ehgads there is a Guantanamo Bay video game in development. Yeah, we thought the idea of escaping from GitMo was and idea best reserved for fiction, and apparently we were right. T-Enterprises, the British software company developing the game, says Ren ... More >>
The Herald's Marc Caputo was wondering if Dick Cheney ever crawled out of the hyperbolic chamber that keeps him alive in the torture dungeon basement of his demon castle, located somewhere southwest of Hell, and decided to campaign on Charlie Crist's behalf in the Senate race, would Charli ... More >>
Local up-and-coming band Juke lays down soulful grooves on its informal new disc.
When Barack Obama announced Joe Biden as his running mate, America responded with a resounding, "oh, ok." He's an experience, competent guy, don't get us wrong. And by all accounts he made some serious contributions to getting the cabinet together, but it seems that Mr. Biden has returned the Vice P ... More >>
So you're a 16-year-old girl, and you desperately want to break off the illicit internet romance you've sparked with a 44-year-old vampire. What do you do? The only logical thing you can do: tell him that you're secretly a member of an elite vampire-hunting unit and that staying together would ... More >>
Karl Rove used to have this gig scaring people into voting Republican and running whatever parts of the government Dick Cheney didn't. Now he's reduced to Twittering and arguing with college students.
The hunger-strike moms ended their strike over the proposed education cuts. [CBS4]The Coral Ridge megachurch will have a new pastor, and he promises to keep politics away from the pulpit. [Herald]Your racist uncle was right! Hell did freeze over! But it's a nice change of pace, really. [CBS4]Dick Ch ... More >>
Dodging this shoe was like the most awesome thing President Bush has done in years. It kind of makes you remember why so many Americans wanted to have a beer with him in the first place. [AFP]Myriam Marquez wrote this horribly mean thing about Charlie Crist's wedding, and failed to make even one gay ... More >>
Ruby-red slippers will click at the Arsht.
Gas Prices Continue To Rise – As the price per barrel of gasoline rises to record levels, over $104 a barrel, the price at the pump has also been setting records. In Miami-Dade and Palm Beach counties the price per gallon are the highest ever recorded. Students Getting Paid – At several schools ... More >>
South Florida Impeachment Coaliton stages a sit-in at U.S. Rep. Kendrick Meek's office.
Moonchine is worth braving Biscayne Boulevard.
I Predict a Riot (Rawkus/Soul Spazm)
Ultimately, Diane Lawrence, a 67-year-old Kendall grandmother, wants to go to jail. She plans to plant herself at the offices of Florida's Democratic Reps. Kendrick Meek and Debbie Wasserman Schultz and demand their support in impeaching President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney. But, ... More >>
Future Future Future Perfect (Cordless)
Now he'll have some time to find those WMDs himself Bush sat down to lunch with the San Francisco woman who'll have his nuts in a legislative vise for the next two years. Donald Rumsfeld waved a pouty goodbye. Dick Cheney was described as "glum" in the New York Times. Reading good news in th ... More >>
DVD releases for the week of October 17, 2006
DVD releases for the week of October 3, 2006
Spaces practicing the art of staying cool during the summer
Jaws Unleashed is as sloppy as it is gory
MLB 2K6 throws more chin music than strikes.
Not even a great gimmick can tenderize this taco joint
John Kerry once took a shot at Miami's Felix Rodriguez for his part in the Iran-contra scandal. Now the Bush family friend is shooting back.
Funnyman Gallagher gets ambitious
The case for an American Al-Jazeera
Tightening your belt ain't too hard at a gourmet café with $1 meatballs