Dez Bryant

  • Blogs

    January 8, 2014

    Jeff Ireland Is Gone and Twitter Reacts with Utter Glee

    We came here today to bury GM Jeff Ireland's time with the Dolphins, not to praise him. Well, actually we came here to relentlessly mock him on Twitter. After years of the #Fireland hashtag breaking out on the social networking site just about anytime the Dolphins did anything wrong (which was often ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2013

    Jeff Ireland Should Resign Immediately

    Dolphins general manager Jeff Ireland's sports legacy will always be that of the guy who asked a prospective player if his mom was a whore, and there's no evidence to suggest it will ever be anything more than that. The current Dolphins mess centering on race-baiting potato Richie Incognito, just th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 23, 2013

    Dolphins Gave Jeff Ireland a Contract Extension... Before the Season Started

    The rumors at the beginning of the season went that unless the Dolphins managed to turn things around this year General Manager Jeff Ireland would finally find himself with a pink slip. Of course, now that the team is off to a 3-0 start those #Fireland Twitter hashtags are getting a lot let use, and ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 5, 2013

    Dolphins Fall to Cowboys 24-20 in Hall of Fame Game

    Welp. At least those uniforms really pop in HD!!! Coach Joe Philbin and company were supposed to go out and show the world that the New Look Dolphins were not just about a new logo that looks like a whale penis and some flashy clothes that would make a World Football League team jealous. Instead, t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 2, 2013

    Dez Bryant: LeBron James Could Be NFL Ready in "Two Weeks"

    Malcolm Gladwell's 10,000-hour rule stipulates that a person needs about 10,000 hours of practice to completely master a task. Dallas Cowboys player Dez Bryant however thinks that LeBron James would only need about two weeks to become an NFL-ready wide receiver.

  • Blogs

    September 19, 2012

    Fire Jeff Ireland Watch: Let The Countdown Commence!

    Miami Dolphins General Manager Jeff Ireland's mismanagement of the Fins -- comically whiffing on everything from prospective free agents to current players to young college kids whose mothers were probably not crack-smoking prostitutes -- has been well-documented. He's quite the controversial, talen ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 18, 2012

    Jeff Ireland Called a Dolphins Fan an Asshole

    Jeff Ireland, the Miami Dolphins general manager best noted for asking Dez Bryant if his mother was a prostitute, has let his mouth get him into more trouble. During Sunday's game, a fan informed Ireland that he should "fire himself." (Of all the things angry sports fans usually tell others to do to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 19, 2012

    Steeler's Ryan Clark Says "No One" Wants to Play for the Miami Dolphins

    While most of America was belligerently chanting about the luck of the Irish this weekend, one Ireland was having what might have been the worst weekend of his professional life: Dolphins general manager Jeff Ireland. He officially lost Peyton Manning, and then he missed out on Matt Flynn too.Now, S ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 19, 2012

    Dez Bryant Denies He Has a Problem with Lil Wayne, Sort Of

    ​So we know that Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant was in some sort of altercation outside LIV nightclub at the Fontainebleau on Saturday, and that's, well, about it. Rumors, aided by a Miami Herald reporter, suggested that the altercation somehow involved Lil Wayne. Though, this morning Bry ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 18, 2012

    Dez Bryant Detained After Fight With "Famous Rapper" at Club LIV UPDATE

    photo by Jovie & Mayra Griffith via Wikimedia CommonsDez Bryant​Scratch another notch onto the Fontainebleau, the high-rollin' hotel where Gloria James (allegedly) slapped a valet and where Lil Wayne lost his 305 cred by partying with the Dallas Mavericks after they topped the Heat in the NBA ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 12, 2011

    Dolphins Pummeled By Eagles, Still Need A Quarterback, Possibly a New Coach Too

    ​The Philadelphia Eagles helped head coach Andy Reid win the Mustachioed Overweight Coach Who Has Overstayed His Welcome Bowl when they blew away the Dolphins 26-10 yesterday. The Dolphins have ensured themselves their third straight losing season, falling to 4-9, and remain dead-last in the AFC E ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 25, 2011

    Dolphins Lose On Thanksgiving Day

    Your Miami Dolphins played in yesterday's Thanksgiving Day game against the Dallas Cowboys and lost, ending their three-game winning streak and putting their playoff hopes on life support with someone standing by ready to smother it with a pillow. The Dolphins defense did what it could, intercepting ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 7, 2011

    Dolphins Not Just Keeping Sparano, But Offering Him Contract Extension

    Jeff Ireland: Finalist for NFL's Dick of the Year award? ​Well, according to ESPN, the Dolphins have not only decided to keep Tony Sparano on as head coach but now they're prepared to offer him a one year contract extension. Meaning not only will he be back in 2011, but 2012 as well. This is proba ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 3, 2011

    So What Now For the Miami Dolphins?

    Last week, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross gave his vote of confidence to head coach Tony Sparano. The consensus has been that Sparano would keep his job, despite the team's second consecutive losing season. Mainly because the players love and respect him. And even though Sunday's game against the New E ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 20, 2010

    Dolphins at Jaguars Tomorrow Night: What To Watch For

    ​If there were a word to describe the Dolphins first-team performance last week against the Buccaneers, that word would probably be ass. Dropped passes, bad quarterback play, and a crapload of offensive line penalties kept the Fins in a quagmire of shittiness. It didn't help that they had to play ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 19, 2010

    Dolphins Games About to Get All South Beachy

    ​Evidently, Stephen Ross hasn't quite finished his quest to make the Miami Dolphins the biggest laughing stock in the NFL. Because now that he's brought in A-list celebrities like Gloria Estefan and Jennifer Lopez to become part-owners of the team, Ross is moving on to phase two: He's going to tur ... More >>

  • Calendar

    August 5, 2010
  • Blogs

    July 30, 2010

    Trina Is Not Dating Dez Bryant, FYI

    via 2 The Point Music​Dez Bryant was on the receiving end of Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland's "was your mom a whore?" blunder. Trina, Miami's greatest lady rapper, has certainly been called things a lot worse than a whore. (She is not. She is a million-dollar girl. For sure.) However, despite recent rum ... More >>

  • News

    May 6, 2010
  • Blogs

    May 4, 2010

    On Mom's Day, the Dolphins GM Should Go to the Ghetto

    Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke addresses the importance of Mother's Day and why Miami Dolphins general manager Jeff Ireland is a motherf***er.Mother's Day ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 30, 2010

    Morons of the Week: Ron Book, Jeff Ireland, and Arizona

    Some say it's the heat that causes it. Others blame Jimmy Buffett. Whatever the reason, South Florida is Mecca for this hemisphere's most devoted morons. Let's see who took the pilgrimage this week: Sorry, Ron, you've been overdue in this column for a while.​5. Ron Book, who apparently thoug ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 30, 2010

    Did Dez Bryant Tell Jeff Ireland His Dad was a Pimp?

    Sean Connery's comeback role in the Jeff Ireland biopic may be on hold.​Context is everything, and Sports Illustrated says they have the full conversation leading up to Jeff Ireland's now infamous question to Dez Bryant. But ESPN says it's not true! Yahoo! Sports reported last week that the D ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 27, 2010

    Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland Asked Dez Bryant If His Mom Was a Prostitute

    Dolphins General Manager Jeff Ireland apparently has the biggest balls ever, or the littlest amount of tact and class possible. Because normal people would not ask prospective players if their moms were whores straight to their face.Ireland and the Fins brought in former Oklahoma State wide receive ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 27, 2010

    Ireland Apologizes to Dez Bryant For Asking if His Mom Was a Hooker

    ​Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland is sorry for asking Dez Bryant whether or not his mom was a hooker. So sorry in fact he released a statement to the Miami Herald (which didn't even cover the outburst to begin with)."My job is to find out as much information as possible about a player that I'm considering ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 22, 2010

    NFL Draft Live-Blog

    ​Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 7, 2010

    Jason Taylor Meets with The Jets, Even Though He Hates Their Fans

    Jason Taylor, we're not sure if Sparano and Parcells share in it, but the city of Miami loves you. We understand Big Tuna and Lil Tony don't seem pumped on the idea of bringing you back for another season with the Dolphins, but why you got to play with our emotions by reportedly meeting with the Jet ... More >>