Dexter Pittman

Heat Trade Dexter Pittman: His Greatest Heat Hits

In a shocking move that should surely rile the Miami fanbase, Pat Riley has decided to trade certified superstar Dexter Pittman to the Memphis Grizzlies. The legendary center will be dealt away with a second round pick. The Heat will gain a trade exception the "draft rights of forward Ricky Sanchez" ... More >>

Mugshots Friday: The Lost Romney Son and Jesus Condom

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that ... More >>

Reader Mail: The TSA Is a Modern-Day Nazi Goon Squad

If The Heat Lose Tonight, Who Might Not Be Wearing a Miami Jersey Next Year?

This is a silly, stupid little post to be writing. The Heat will of course stage a magnificent comeback tonight and go on to emerge victorious in the finals, because whatever powers that rule the universe will decide to give Miami, this muggy land of hurricanes, poverty, foreclosures and zombie atta ... More >>

Heat Take 3-2 Lead As Things Get Physical

LeBron James and Dwyane Wade combined for 58 points and the Miami Heat shot a franchise-best 61 percent from the field as they blew out the Indiana Pacers 115-83 last night. The series now heads back to Indiana with Miami up 3-2.But because this is the Miami Heat and because everyone needs a reason ... More >>

Dexter Pittman Briefly Succeeds in Making People Aware Dexter Pittman Exists With Three Game Suspension

Who knows what goes through a basketball player's mind when he spends the vast majority of the time sitting on the bench during such a heated and important playoff series. Perhaps the Miami Heat's Dexter Pittman thought to himself, "Man, the whole world is watching this series, and ain't no one gonn ... More >>

Heat Fall to the Lakers as Masked Kobe Drops 33

​Kobe Bryant and his broken face scored 33 points, as he and the Lakers took down the Miami Heat 93-83 yesterday, handing Miami their second consecutive loss.It was the first meeting between L.A. and Miami since Dwyane Wade inadvertently broke Kobe's nose during a hard foul in the All Star game la ... More >>

Miami Heat Lands the Prized Free Agent of 1996

​Even after 14 long years, Pat Riley is a man who gets what he wants. Why? Because he's Pat Frickin' Riley, that's why. The Miami Heat signed free agent forward Juwan Howard yesterday to the veteran's minimum of $1.4 million. Back in 1996, and with much fanfare, Howard signed a $101 million deal ... More >>