Derrick Rose

Re-Heated Rivalry

Heat Get Nothing From Bench, Lose to Bulls in OT

Holy shit bananas, that was rough.The Miami Heat dropped a gut-wrenching loss to the Chicago Bulls 96-86 in overtime last night.And while the game is meaningless in terms of overall playoff importance, it still feels like Heat fans got their collective cocks slammed in a Metrobus door. WILL SOMEONE ... More >>

Dwyane Wade's Dad Ejected From Bulls Game For Dirty Mouth

​Apparently LeBron James isn't the only Heat star with a sometimes embarrassing parent. Dwyane Wade's father, Dwyane Wade Sr., was ejected from the United Arena last night during the Bulls-Heat game, reportedly for yelling obscenities. Jeez, what a big fucking bag of dicks. Updated. 

Big Four? Dwight Howard Interested in Miami Heat, Reportedly

​It's not a secret that Magic Center Dwight Howard won't be staying in Orlando much longer, and the saga of where he ends up may be the NBA's most dramatic decision since, well, LeBron landed in Miami. Could Howard's tale have the same ending? A Sports Illustrated reporter says that Howard has rea ... More >>

LeBron James Ain't Care: Battling the Flu, LBJ Dominates Lakers

​LeBron James told the flu to go fuck itself, and then promptly became a righteous wrecker of ass, as he led the Miami Heat to their 98-87 beatdown of the L.A. Lakers last night. James, who dropped 31 points, 8 rebounds and 8 assists, killed a baseball team owner, and made Kobe Bryant his own ... More >>

NBA GM Survey: Heat Will Win Championship, LeBron Has Good Shot at MVP

​It's tough to find a group of people who know the NBA more than the league's own group of general managers. For the tenth year in a row, NBA.com surveyed all 30 GMs to get their take on the state of the league, and 74.1 percent think the Miami Heat will win the NBA Championship. They also think L ... More >>

Castro Death Meter: Fidel More Dead Than Kim Jong Il's Dead Body, Say Medical Experts

​Pobre Fidelito. Being a dying dictator was his idea. But now Hugo Chavez has fat cancer, and Kim Jong Il went to ride his giant rabbits in the sky. Nobody's paying attention to the totally dead antics of Fidel Castro. He's like the fourth-grade girl who wore Silly Bandz before it was kewl. ... More >>

James, Wade, and Bosh to Take Their Talents Overseas

​The Miami Heat's big three are reportedly ready to pack their bags and head on a six-city international tour with a host of other NBA superstars during what would have been the first two weeks of the NBA season. Plans are still being worked out, but between October 30 and November the 9, the ... More >>

A Controversy Involving NFL Players and Porn Stars Makes For The Best Press Release Of All Time

​We told you yesterday about the brouhaha over a flyer for what appeared to be an Exxxotica after-party featuring five not-very-famous NFL players at Club Play. The league is "investigating" a possible copyright infringement in the fact that the flyer used photos of the players in their team j ... More >>

Eastern Conference Champions! F%$# Yea!

​Every single person that has ever uttered or written or tweeted or thought the word "LeBrick" can help themselves to a dick chipotle. Because with 3:12 remaining in the game, and the Heat down by 12, LeBron James obliterated the Chicago Bulls' vaunted defense like an ass-kicking machine with the ... More >>

Heat-Bulls Game 4/Election-Results Live Blog-a-palooza

​Big night in Miami tonight. On one side, the Miami Heat hosting the Chicago Bulls in Game 4 of the Eastern Conference Finals. On the other, the Miami-Dade elections. What's a good Miamian to do? Watch the game? Check on the election results?Well, don't fret, good citizen. Just stay with us t ... More >>

Don't Make Chris Bosh Angry

​The Miami Heat took down the tough Chicago Bulls 96-85 in an Eastern Conference Finals Game 3 that featured tough defense, gay slurs, Miami fans berating Charles Barkley, LeBron James obliterating Kyle Korver, and Chris Bosh exploding all over Chicago's face. The Heat now have a 2-1 lead in the b ... More >>

Udonis Haslem and His Amazing Feats of Awesome

​In Game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals, the Miami Heat had zero answers for the Chicago Bulls and their insane rebounding prowess, sharp shooting, monster dunks and screamy faces. But in last night's Game 2, the Heat answered with the one-two punch of LeBron James and the ball obliterating re ... More >>

Did LeBron James Spend $171,000 at a Las Vegas Nightclub?

​Hot on the hells of an alleged $189,000 receipt racked up during a Cinco de Mayo party at the Tryst nightclub in the Wynn resort in Las Vegas comes rumors that LeBron James once racked up an even bigger bill at XS, one of the Wynn's other nightclub. $171,973 to be exact, and that's before a tip, ... More >>

Sporting News Names Pat Riley Executive of the Year

​In news that you probably already knew was coming, Sporting News has named Miami Heat president Pat Riley NBA 2010-11 Executive of the Year after he put together the biggest free-agent signings pretty much ever. Know who else saw this coming? Nearly everyone else on Earth.The NBA's official ... More >>

Heat Playoffs: LeBron & D-Wade Take Over, Heat Take 2-0 Lead Over Celtics

​Dwyane Wade did a vicious Euro-step crossover on Kevin Garnett that transcended all time and space, and left KG a smoking heap of charred douche. Moments later, Wade crossed over Ray Allen so badly, Allen simply crumpled onto the court like his spine was removed from his body.Later on, LeBron Jam ... More >>

Cheesteaks Suck

​Dwyane Wade did a vicious Euro-step crossover on Kevin Garnett that transcended all time and space, and left KG a smoking heap of charred douche. Moments later, Wade crossed over Ray Allen so badly, Allen simply crumpled onto the court like his spine was removed from his body.Later on, LeBron Jam ... More >>

Miami Heat Have Yet Another Late-Game Meltdown, Get Swept By Bulls

​The Miami Heat had yet another late-game collapse, losing yet another game at the buzzer and going down to yet another playoff-caliber team when they lost 87-86 to the Chicago Bulls yesterday. And while the Heat are now 0-6 against the Celtics and Bulls, and 1-9 against the NBA's top five teams, ... More >>

Chris Bosh Goes 1-for-18 as Heat fall to Derrick Rose and the Bulls

​Chris Bosh and the Miami Heat's bench decided to turn in the absolute worst performance ever in the history of everything in a game that will undoubtedly have playoff seeding implications down the stretch.The Heat held a 9-point lead at the half against the Chicago Bulls last night, only to see i ... More >>

Kiss From a Rose

​Chris Bosh and the Miami Heat's bench decided to turn in the absolute worst performance ever in the history of everything in a game that will undoubtedly have playoff seeding implications down the stretch.The Heat held a 9-point lead at the half against the Chicago Bulls last night, only to see i ... More >>

Heat Fall Short Against Bulls, Lose Third Straight

​LeBron James was forced to sit out his second-straight game with his karma-fucked ankle, forcing Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh to once again play with Mario Chalmers longer than they should be able to.Wade missed a three-point attempt as regulation expired, as the Heat fell to the Bulls 99-96, givin ... More >>

Heat Send Fans to Greet Dwyane Wade at Airport, Fans Go to the Wrong Terminal

​With Dwyane Wade set to return to Miami from Chicago this morning, the Miami Heat sent out a call via Twitter to all fans, gas stations, residences, warehouses, farmhouses, henhouses, outhouses and doghouses in the area to meet D-Wade at Miami International Airport and show him some love. It was ... More >>

Isiah Thomas struggles to reshape FIU hoops

​With Dwyane Wade set to return to Miami from Chicago this morning, the Miami Heat sent out a call via Twitter to all fans, gas stations, residences, warehouses, farmhouses, henhouses, outhouses and doghouses in the area to meet D-Wade at Miami International Airport and show him some love. It was ... More >>

Heat Draft Pick Maybe Cheated on the SATs, but Who Cares?

The Miami Heat made minimal moves in the NBA draft, but did pick up a few players, including Robert Dozier out of the University of Memphis. Earlier this month, ESPN reported that the organization that administers the SATs invalidated his score. Dozier score of 1260 didn't m ... More >>

From the Desk of Patrick James Riley

WikicommonsDear Chicago, please trade us Derrick Rose for Michael Beasley...Dear Memphis, please trade us O.J. Mayo for Michael Beasley...Dear New Jersey, please trade us Brook Lopez for Michael Beasley...Dear Minnesota, please trade us Kevin Love for Michael Beasley...Dear L.A. (no, the other L.A.) ... More >>

Let’s Start the Debate

Number one pick Derrick Rose versus number two pick Michael Beasley.

Thanks to Shawn Marion, the Heat Now Have More Options

Number one pick Derrick Rose versus number two pick Michael Beasley.

No Reason Not to Draft Beasley

Number one pick Derrick Rose versus number two pick Michael Beasley.

Heat and Mayo Together Doesn’t Sound Very Delicious

Number one pick Derrick Rose versus number two pick Michael Beasley.