All hell has broken loose, and everyone is a suspect. Everything is a sign. Everyone knows; nobody knows. Yesterday was one of the most ridiculous days in the history of the internet, as Heat fans and Cavs fans sat around their Twitter feeds all day waiting for something, anything, to make or break ... More >>
Those Taiwanese animators move fast. News of the bizarre "double catfishing" involving the Miami Heat's Chris "Birdman" Andersen only broke late yesterday afternoon, and they've already gone and animated the thing. The bizarre video features Andersen portrayed as Big Bird, naturally. See also: Heat ... More >>
In 2012, when current Miami Heat star Chris "Birdman" Andersen was playing for the Denver Nuggets, a Colorado Sheriff's Office Internet Crimes Against Children team seized property from Andersen's home, which led to rampant speculation in the media. At the time, Andersen's attorneys claimed he was t ... More >>
People already want to know how the Miami Heat will go from "Re-Heat" to "Three-Heat," something only three teams (L.A., Boston, and Chicago) have done. How will they keep the motivation at the same level it's been during the past three seasons? How do they circumvent salary cap restrictions enough ... More >>
In a move that's a longshot to fix the Miami Heat's rebounding woes but is a surefire, lead pipe lock to fix the lack of hilarious people on the Heat to write about on local blogs, the team has signed Chris "Birdman" Andersen, the heavily tatooed big man last seen leaving Denver amidst a federal pro ... More >>
OK, it's been established the Heat are crappy on the West Coast during the regular season. We get it.The Miami Heat fell 107-100 to the Los Angeles Clippers last night on a night where Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh were nowhere to be found and very little fucks were to be given after the first half.
In a game that was billed as Lob City East vs. Lob City West, the Heat lost mostly thanks to their inability to hit free throws, as well as some pretty shitty officiating, giving them their second overtime loss in two nights as they fell to the LA Clippers 95-89. It was also the second straight n ... More >>
Say good bye to Mike Miller Heat fans. He'll likely be the team's biggest casualty following the new deal reached between players and owners. Miller made headlines earlier this month by putting his South Florida home on the market, and it's looking like that wasn't such hasty move.&nb ... More >>
Extortion, espionage, mistresses, and Delonte West's penis. Just how crazy is Shaquille O'Neal's personal life? Last February, local prosecutors met with Vanessa Lopez, a woman claiming to be O'Neal's former mistress, about an alleged extortion plot, according to a Florida Department of Law Enf ... More >>
"Oof! You like granite countertops, CP3?"Big Z demands that you pay him two months in advance if you want to come into his house. That's not some strangled And 1 axiom. Zydrunas Ilgauskas-- the 7-foot-3 totem pole at the end of the Miami Heat bench-- has a beautiful townhouse he wants to re ... More >>
via SF WeeklyDavid Banner wilding out at SXSW.First off, I want to congratulate David Banner (featured in this week's episode of PrunkTV after the cut) on his induction into the Mississippi Musicians Hall of Fame, alongside Elvis, B.B., and Muddy! David Banner was one of my favorite i ... More >>
The Miami Heat suited up against Denver last night without LeBron James and his karma-fucked ankle. This was also the last game before the Heat return to the east coast where when it's 7:30, it's not actually 10:30. Mix in a dash of Mario Chalmers bricks and a Mike Miller who suddenly treats the ... More >>
Slapping Kat Stacks has become America's new national past time. Now Denver Nuggets basketball star Carmelo Anthony apparently wants in on the action. Aventura resident Kat Stacks has made a bizarre career out of allegedly sleeping with Z-list rappers with Muppet names (think Gudda Gudda) and then ... More >>
Brandon Marshall probably would have been the biggest accusation of the off season for a Miami team if it wasn't for that whole LeBron thing. Maybe he was worried we forgot about him, so he decided to say something ridiculous to garner some attention. See Marshall thinks there'll definitely be an ... More >>
Photo by Riki AltmanCleveland Cavalier's star LeBron James celebrated his last night of the NBA All-Star break with dinner at Miami Beach's latest hotspot, STK. On Tuesday night, the basketball legend was joined by 11 of his friends at the trendy steakhouse. James and his entourage noshed on Lil' Bi ... More >>
Michelle Spence-Jones pleaded not guilty to theft charges and, of course, plans to run for her city commission seat again. [CBS4]Police are on the hunt for someone who released thousands of ladybugs in the VIP room at Art Basel. [NBCMiami]A man stole a $1 million painting. Police caught the suspect ... More >>
Hurricane Ida is heading for the Gulf of Mexico. [CBS4]A pilot is dead after crashing his small plane in the Everglades last night. [NBCMiami]PoliticsMarco Rubio's record in the State House isn't nearly as conservative as he'd have you believe. It's almost like it's difficult to be a true conservati ... More >>
First off, congrats to Carmelo Anthony and the Denver Nuggets. They beat the great Lakers Thursday night, and I hope they do it again. Melo was a guest on Prunk TV recently, and we develop a special relationship with our guests. Speaking of special guests, this episode is really something special. H ... More >>
Despite a season of horrors, his greatness is still worth watching.
Go Marlins! Go Panthers! Go Heat! Go to hell.