Denver Broncos

The Party Crasher - Rick Ross Trilla Release Party at Mansion

Jake Long Is Not Too Fired Up About Becoming a Dolphin The Dolphins' Schedule

Weekend Football: Who Knows Anymore

Dolphins Are Now Balls Deep in the Hunt

This Week in Joey Porter's Mouth (and His Popcorn Muscles)

Beer of the Week: Great Divide Robust Porter

Unrepentant beer drinkers, rejoice! Each week, Short Order will select one craft or import beer and give you the lowdown on it: How does it taste? What should you drink it with? Where can you find it? But mostly, it's all about the love of the brew. If you have a beer you'd like featured in Beer of ... More >>

Bodies and Souls

A young pastor aims his church's meager resources at some of Miami's neediest.

Joey Porter Resurrects the Fins, Entertains the Nation

It's Peezy time in the city.

Selected Calendar Events for the Week of September 8, 2005

It's Peezy time in the city.

Letters from the Issue of September 1 , 2005

Killing sports, dumping Dolphins, and some Miami history

Letters from the Issue of August 18, 2005

Dolphins squeaking, nurses freaking, readers shrieking

Dump This Dolphin!

Dolphins squeaking, nurses freaking, readers shrieking

Memorial Day Weekend

Dolphins squeaking, nurses freaking, readers shrieking

Run, Ricky, Run

Kendall may be landlocked, but it's the best place to swim with the Fins

Ramp Rats' Revenge

Checking luggage? Think long and hard before answering yes to that question at MIA

Hearts and Souls

For more than 100 years, Ebenezer United Methodist Church has survived as a spiritual beacon and social landmark

South Beach as Thug Central

Will Puffy, Pink, and Cash Money Crew replace Versace, Madonna, and Ingrid Casares?

Pocket the Difference

Miami commissioners use a well-worn strategy to avoid public notice of their sweetheart deals

Super Sunday

Any Given Sunday

A Star Is Broke

Football standout Tony Martin may have signed a multimillion-dollar contract, but he's bankrupt

A Bird Gets Burned

After the feds indicted Falcon Tony Martin this week, some friends in Liberty City dropped a penalty flag

Caught Sure-Handed

Under federal scrutiny for alleged money laundering, Falcons receiver Tony Martin lends new meaning to the term "dirty bird"

Who the El

A handy guide to who's who in the name game

Four Reasons the Dolphins Crapped the Bed on Their Season

​Just days before Christmas, the Miami Dolphins were supposed to come up with another big win to inch closer to a post-season berth. Instead, they delivered a stocking full of turds in the form of a 27-24 loss in overtime to the Tennessee Titans. There's plenty of blame to go around for their play ... More >>

Report: Mike Nolan Signs as Dolphins Defensive Coordinator

After being turned down by their first two picks, the Miami Dolphins have signed Mike Nolan as their new defensive coordinator, according to FoxSports.com. Nolan resigned Monday from the same position with the Denver Broncos and was previously DC under Bill Parcells when he was general man ... More >>

NFL Draft Live-Blog

​Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>

Dolphins Host Bucs Tomorrow Night: What to Watch For

​Miami Dolphins football is back! And although it's a meaningless preseason game where the starters will see less than five minutes of playing time, it's still football. And you will watch it because you love it. And you will pick some random anonymous bench player who has a great game against oth ... More >>

Your Miami Dolphins 2010 Football Season Preview

TARGET ACQUIRED!​Are you ready for our completely meaningless and arbitrary predictions for the upcoming Dolphins season? Well this is it. The Riptide 2.0 Miami Dolphins 2010 Football Season Preview. Are you ready to get your ass blown off with some seriously capricious and utterly subjective prog ... More >>

NFL Network Accuses Brandon Marshall of "dogging it"

One handed catch? That's reprehensible! ​A trio of NFL Network analysts recently broke down the final minutes of last week's Dolphins-Jets game and came to the conclusion that Miami receiver Brandon Marshall was either tired, dogging it, or simply the worst human person walking on the face of the ... More >>

Letters from the issue of December 23, 2010

One handed catch? That's reprehensible! ​A trio of NFL Network analysts recently broke down the final minutes of last week's Dolphins-Jets game and came to the conclusion that Miami receiver Brandon Marshall was either tired, dogging it, or simply the worst human person walking on the face of the ... More >>

Hurricanes Hire Jedd Fisch as Offensive Coordinator

​Al Golden has said he was going to hire his offensive coordinator from the NFL to guide the Hurricane's traditional pro-style offense, and according to reports he's selected Seattle Seahawks quarterbacks coach Jedd Fisch for the job. The hiring hasn't been made official, but the team's official T ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Draft Florida Center Mike Pouncey

​The NFL Draft was last night. And in keeping with the tradition of playing it safe, the Miami Dolphins used their fifteenth overall draft pick to select center Mike Pouncey from the University of Florida.It isn't an especially noteworthy or exciting pick, unless you have a thing for spending your ... More >>

Kyle Orton, Carson Palmer, and the Latest Dolphins QB Rumors

​So the Dolphins have picked up undrafted rookie Pat Devlin, and Tyler Thigpen has officially packed his bags for Buffalo, leaving Chad Henne as the top man in Miami, for now. The QB hunt is still on, though, and rumors about a trade for Kyle Orton are flying, but the team still has its eye on Car ... More >>

Kyle Orton Expects to Stay in Denver

​Seems like the Dolphin's hunt for a new QB may have hit a snag. The Denver Broncos are keen to keep Kyle Orton and released quotes to the media today from Orton in which he claims he expects to be the team's starting quarterback next year.

As Kyle Orton Talks Stall, Stephen Ross Promises Dolphins Will Add Another Quarterback

Another year without a true successor to Marino?​Rest assured, Dolfans, your team's hunt for another quarterback isn't over. Owner Stephen Ross told the media today he expects the team to sign somebody. Possibly even anybody. Just don't hold your breath hoping that anybody is necessarily going to ... More >>

Kyle Orton Trade Definitely Not Happening, Claims ESPN Reporter

​It wasn't looking good, but some Dolphins faithful were still holding out hope that the team would make a trade for Denver Broncos QB Kyle Orton. It seems that any remaining flicker of hope was blown out today by ESPN's Adam Schefter. He says Orton will remain with the Broncos and will be their s ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Will Suck Again This Year

​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses the sad state of Miami's NFL franchise.While AFC division rivals the New England Patriots and the New York Jets ... More >>

Cyndi Lauper Forgets "Star-Spangled Banner" Lyrics and Four More National Anthem Flubs

​"The Star-Spangled Banner" ... In American sports, it's the "We Will Rock You" of patriotism. A song that often sends chills down our spine. And in some situations, precedes fighter jet fly-overs. But our national anthem is also an incredibly tough tune to carry. Performers often succumb to ner ... More >>

Dolphins Fall To 0-4: It's Suck For Luck Time!

​The Miami Dolphins did that thing again where they play like their scrotums are stapled to their thighs, this time losing 26-16 to the San Diego Chargers. In the process, they lost Chad Henne to a shoulder injury, forcing backup Matt Moore to step in and do exactly what Henne's been doing: namely ... More >>

Tim Tebow Named Bronco's Starting QB Just In Time For Dolphins to Honor Him

​Tim Tebow has been named the new starting quarterback of the Denver Broncos according to several reports, and now he'll be looking forward to the opposing team hosting a celebration partially in his honor during his first starting game. As if the Dolphins' plan to honor the 2009 University of Flo ... More >>

Miami Dolphins: The Suckiest Bunch of Sucks That Ever Sucked A Suck

​Watching the Miami Dolphins is like opening a gift and expecting something other than a box full of dicks. And that box full of dicks is now 0-5 after a 24-6 loss to their hated rival New York Jets on Monday Night Football.So the bad news is, the Dolphins remain winless and are in last place ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Continue to Suck, Ask Jan From The Office to Sing National Anthem

Myriam Santos​The Miami Dolphins may not have any victories this season, but they certainly have a sense of humor. They're letting Jan from The Office sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" at this Sunday's loss game against the Denver Broncos. Melora Hardin, who plays Jan on the hit NBC sitcom, has be ... More >>

Dolphins Blow 15-Point Lead, Win Suck For Luck Bowl

​With their defense flying around making plays and their offense opting for touchdowns instead of field goals, all signs pointed to the Miami Dolphins getting their first win of the season. FUCK YEA!But then Tim Tebow dialed up the Jesus, led the Denver Broncos in erasing a 15-point deficit, tied ... More >>

Tebowing Is Your Latest Internet Craze

​Not since "Paula Deen Riding Things" has a scene in Miami taken the Internet by meme storm. After defeating the Dolphins in his first NFL career start last weekend, Tim Tebow got down on one knee, clenched a fist, and proceeded to take a quick prayer break while the rest of the Broncos ran around ... More >>

Suck for Luck

​Not since "Paula Deen Riding Things" has a scene in Miami taken the Internet by meme storm. After defeating the Dolphins in his first NFL career start last weekend, Tim Tebow got down on one knee, clenched a fist, and proceeded to take a quick prayer break while the rest of the Broncos ran around ... More >>

Gene Simmons' Top Five Sex Tips for Tim Tebow

Whattadouche!​TMZ interviewing KISS frontman Gene Simmons about controversial Christian virgin and Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow? Sounds like one of those "...walks into a bar" bits, only the punchline doesn't give you a case of uncontrollable giggles. It just makes you wanna puke. But w ... More >>

Chicago Bears Could Poach Hurricanes Offensive Coordinator Jedd Fisch

​Could the Miami Hurricanes soon be on the hunt for its sixth offensive coordinator since 2005? Quite possibly if the Chicago Bears pursue current OC Jedd Fisch. The team is looking for a new passing game coordinator/quarterbacks coach.

Tim Tebow Should Quit The NFL While He's Ahead

​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell tells Tim Tebow that his calling is outside of football. For the first time in the history of the NFL, a player is a ... More >>

Tim Tebow should quit now

​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell tells Tim Tebow that his calling is outside of football. For the first time in the history of the NFL, a player is a ... More >>