Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Karma finally caught up to Donald Sterling, the slumlord owner of the Los Angeles Clippers. Just when his team is finally thriving and competing ... More >>
Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade is no stranger to fashion provocation, but gauging by the reaction from his stroll into Chicago's United Center last night in a tailored Gucci suit that featured ankle-flashing capri pants, you would have assumed he'd shown up in a rainbow Speedo and glittery suspenders. ... More >>
Was there really any doubt? ESPN reports that league sources confirm Miami Heat superstar LeBron James will officially be awarded his fourth MVP title this Sunday. It's the King's second MVP crown in a row, and his fourth in five years.
Despite winning it all last year (suck it Thunder), doubts remain about the Miami Heat. The team has lost three of its last four games, Dwayne Wade is currently cranky about playing time, and our most devoted fans remain of the blow-job-giving variety.On top of all that, a local lawyer is now suing ... More >>
The Heat managed to pull out a 105-100 victory last night despite the Spurs fielding a team without Manu Ginobli, Tony Parker or Tim Duncan -- all of which were sent home by Coach Gregg Poppovich to San Antonio after playing 4 games in the last 5 nights. Without San Antonio's own Big Three this figu ... More >>
Alex "Rube" Rubin doesn't have a legion of fans breathlessly awaiting his next single -- at least not yet. He's just a white guy living in a mostly Hispanic city using hip-hop to back our black president. Sounds about right for South Florida.See Also:- Rapper Alex "Rube" Rubin Invites Miami's S ... More >>
Last year, we made some rather foolhardy predictions about the NBA finals and ended up with a tattoo of Jason Terry indelibly inked on our pale white ass. So this year, we are avoiding any claims of clairvoyance and appealing to a baser emotion: pure, unbridled hatred.Yes, the Miami Heat are the mos ... More >>
Free Metta World Peace.
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke stands up for Metta World Peace.I have a message for NBA overlord David Stern: Free Metta World Peace. The seven game suspension ... More >>
Last November, local aspiring rapper Alex "Rube" Rubin released a song blaming the NBA's "corrupt policeman" of a commissioner David Stern for the lockout.Now he's turned his white boy wrath on the Miami Heat, a move he admits is akin to wearing a "I (Heart) George Zimmerman" t-shirt to a Trayvon Ma ... More >>
Shaq in drag!Basketball fans are pissed. NBA Commissioner David Stern calls the lockout a "big charade," admitting that the 2011-2012 is in jeopardy because "the union is ratcheting up." Alex "Rube" Rubin, the YouTube rapper whose "NBA Lockout Anthem" has become a collective battle cry for seaso ... More >>
Stop crying, Lebron! The Rube is here to end this motherfucking lockout.NBA commissioner David Stern may be the most hated man in Miami these days. After all, the lockout means that us Heat fans have been trying to scrub the shitty aftertaste of that catastrophuck of a final out of our mouths ... More >>
Will we have to wait until 2013 to see if LeBron James can make good on his promise of bringing back the NBA Championship to Miami? It's looking more and more like that may be the case.Today, the NBA Players Union have rejected NBA Commissioner David Stern's latest offering and have made plans to ... More >>
Micky Arison may have made the most expensive tweet in history. NBA commissioner David Stern will fine the Heat owner $500,000 for a remark he made on Twitter about the lockout, according to Yahoo! Sports. That would be the single largest fine ever levied on an individual in NBA history.
Terrence JenkinsA man who appears to be Mavs owner Mark Cuban hoists the Larry O'Brien Trophy at a Miami Beach nightclub. Shit.Well, insult has been definitively added to injury. After they stomped the Miami Heat 105-95 in game 6, the NBA champion Dallas Mavericks -- and owner Mark Cuban -- went ... More >>
Dirk NowitzkiUncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Luke explains how the NBA commissioner is assisting Dallas Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki.The Heat hater brigade loves to h ... More >>
If you're a fan of low scoring games, low-percentage shooting and sleep depravity, then Game 1 of the NBA Finals was the game for you!LeBron James scored 24 while Dwyane Wade added 22 and Chris Bosh went for 19 as the Miami Heat took down the Dallas Mavericks 92-84 to take the first game of the b ... More >>
The Miami Heat travels to Cleveland tonight for LeBron James's first appearance at the Q as a member of the visiting squad. As if the story line didn't already make for one of the most dramatic and emotional regular-season matchups in NBA history, Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert has added fuel to the fi ... More >>
via Deadspin.comDon't buy the facepaint: These guys are not Russian.They seemed like the perfect illustration of the NBA's growing global appeal: Two born-and-bred Russian hoops maniacs outside the American Airlines Arena before yesterday's Heat vs. Moscow game. They painted their faces, wore rid ... More >>
With Dwyane Wade set to return to Miami from Chicago this morning, the Miami Heat sent out a call via Twitter to all fans, gas stations, residences, warehouses, farmhouses, henhouses, outhouses and doghouses in the area to meet D-Wade at Miami International Airport and show him some love. It was ... More >>
Dear Chicago, please trade us Derrick Rose for Michael Beasley...Dear Memphis, please trade us O.J. Mayo for Michael Beasley...Dear New Jersey, please trade us Brook Lopez for Michael Beasley...Dear Minnesota, please trade us Kevin Love for Michael Beasley...Dear L.A. (no, the other L.A.), please tr ... More >>
When NBA commissioner David Stern walked up to the microphone last night and said, “With the second pick in the 2008 NBA draft the Miami Heat select…” there was a collective sphincter-clenching angst that shot across Heat Nation. “Oh shit,” we all thought breathlessly, “are we going to h ... More >>
Or: How Mark Cuban would have--and could have?--saved the music biz