David Samson

Miami Marlins Are Selling So Few Tickets They're Closing the Upper Deck

Remember when the Marlins used to cover the whole upper deck at Sun Life Stadium with a big blue tarp so the game looked a little more full even though only a few thousand people showed up? That was one of the main reasons the team pushed for a much smaller, taxpayer-funded ballpark in Little Havana ... More >>

Marlins Firesale Scared Away Businesses From Setting Up at the Ballpark

Marlins Park was at the very least supposed to be something of an economic engine for the surrounding Little Havana neighborhood, but like so many other things promised about the deal, that turned out to be a lie, too. The Miami Herald reports this morning that three tenants who were interested in ... More >>

Marlins Prez David Samson Was Grilled on Real Sports: "Fans Should Be Disappointed"

HBO's Real Sports was nothing short of cathartic for frustrated Miami Marlins fans last night. Bryant Gumbel sat down with Marlins president David Samson and grilled him harder than a row of chickens at Pollo Tropical.See also:- Six lies about the Marlins stadium- Lifelong Marlins Fans Tossed From H ... More >>

Lifelong Marlins Fans Tossed From Home Opener for Protesting Loria

Like most lifelong Marlins fans, Dan Barton feels like team owner Jeffrey Loria spent the offseason repeatedly kicking him in the junk. So the 25-year-old and three of his friends showed up at last night's home opener with some homemade signs and T-shirts -- "Free the Marlins" and "F Jeff" were the ... More >>

Miami Mayor Tomas Regalado Says Marlins "Raped" Taxpayers in Stadium Deal

As the Marlins gear up for what many predict will be their worst-performing, least-attended season ever -- just one year after opening a taxpayer-funded ballpark -- the wolves are howling outside owner Jeffrey Loria's door. The latest barrage of bad press comes in Sports Illustrated, where former Mi ... More >>

Why Would Anyone Believe Jeffrey Loria and David Samson About the Marlins' Finances?

As Jeffrey Loria and David Samson go on the offensive this week to try to raise their Miami-area approval ratings above those of the Castro brothers, one big question has gone unanswered: Why on earth would anyone believe either one of these guys when it comes to the Marlins' finances?Yet there they ... More >>

Miami Marlins Trade Yunel Escobar, Now Have MLB's Lowest Payroll

Yunel Escobar promised to be the strip-mined Miami Marlins' most interesting player next year. The Cuban shortstop had loads of talent, plus an unmatched ability to act incredibly dumb -- like last season, when he was suspended for writing the anti-gay slur "Tu Ere Maricon" on his eyeblack.Well, Esc ... More >>

The Franchise Will End Early Because The Marlins Suck So Much

Wednesday night's episode of Showtime's baseball docudrama The Franchise, which this season is following the Miami Marlins, will be its last. At least two more episodes were originally planned, with the option for others, but the Marlins and Showtime have decided to pull the plug early, because, wel ... More >>

The Franchise Episode 3 Recap: Crappy By Committee

Three episodes into The Franchise, shit is already getting all kinds of depressing. After two episodes of ups and downs and HEY LOOK AT OUR NEW STADIUM! wackiness, the Marlins are in a tail spin, out of the playoff hunt, reverting to a closer by committee to cover up Heath Bell's dookie-filled- ... More >>

Marlins Park: The Roof Is Leaking and the Grass Is Dying

The past few days of rainy weather have been a real test for the new Marlins Park, and the $515 million stadium has not passed with flying colors. The team's management is now scrambling to fix leaks in the 8,000-ton retractable roof and, because that roof has been closed longer than expected, to re ... More >>

Dave Samson Ran By New Times Office, But We Had No Tomatoes To Throw at Him UPDATE

Today is the day Miami Marlins President Dave Samson is running 52 miles in honor of the construction workers who built him and his ex-step-daddy Jeffrey Loria the half-billion dollar ball park paid primarily by Miami-Dade taxpayers. We told readers about Samson's shameless publicity stunt to show o ... More >>

Marlins' Reality Show Trailer Shows Ozzie Guillen Being Suspended By David Samson

The second season of The Franchise, Showtime's baseball "docudrama" (a fancy word for reality series) isn't supposed to debut for months. Of course, this season the show is following the exploits of the Miami Marlins, and the season has already had its fair share of drama. So, Showtime is rushing a ... More >>

Video: Marlins Park Includes a "Bobblehead Museum"

There are just so many bizarre features at the new Marlins Park that apparently we in the media haven't been able to keep up with all the insanity. Like, did you even know that the stadium includes a Bobblehead Museum? Seriously, there are 588 different bobbleheads encased behind glass, and the shel ... More >>

Marlins President David Samson is Going to Run 50 Miles Because He Can

The Miami Marlins chief munchkin wants to show South Florida what a tough little Ironman he is. Team President David Samson is going to run 50 miles on April 27, from Pompano Beach to Coral Gables, in honor of the 5,000 workers who built the new Marlins Stadium. We're sure they're thrilled. Who woul ... More >>

Logan Morrison is the Marlins' tweeter in chief

New Marlins Stadium Food and Lunacy: Body Painting With Sazon

​Somewhere between the new tax-payer-funded stadium, Romero Britto drama, and the ridiculous sculpture with somersaulting marlins, we mustered up the curiosity to see what the Marlins Park kitchens will be whipping out.So throw on those rose-colored glasses, folks. The Miami Marlins, who open thei ... More >>

Miami Marlins hate taxpayers

With Politicians' Help, Marlins Are Screwing Stadium Neighbors

​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke rips commissioners for the looming parking and traffic problems at the Miami Marlins ballpark.With the Marlins 16 days aw ... More >>

The Miami Mascot Madness Tournament Final: It's Hurricane vs. Hurricane

​The time has come: we've now reached the grand championship match-up of our Miami Mascot Madness Tournament. Despite some close calls in Round One, the match-ups in Round Two were both total blowouts. In fact, when we started this tournament we would have never seen this coming: It's Sebastian th ... More >>

Marlins Prez David Samson Clarifies That He Thinks All Americans Are Stupid and Lazy

​Miami Marlins President David Samson waded into hot water this week after he told a local business council that he thinks Miamians are stupid. Last night Samson talked with WSVN to clarify his remarks. Don't worry guys, he doesn't think Miamians are especially stupid. He wants to clarify that he ... More >>

Marlins Prez David Samson Calls Miamians Stupid, Says He Cares More About Money Than Fans

​In a smarmy speech before a group of Miami business leaders, Miami Marlins team president David Samson gloated about his success in wrangling taxpayer money in a sweetheart deal to build his team's new stadium. Then he turned around and called the very people who footed the bill, Miamians, stupid ... More >>

Even Some Marlins Players Don't Like That Ugly Home Run Sculpture

​You know by now how we feel about the Marlins' horrendously ugly robotic home run sculpture. It's a horrid affront to all that is good taste and aesthetic decency. But we're not the only ones who have problems with it. Some Marlins players have expressed concerns and worry that the sculpture coul ... More >>

Florida Business Sues Marlins, Says It Bought Team For $10 Million at Charity Banquet

​Somewhere in Florida there is a business named Omeranz & Landsma whose owner, whoever he or she may be, has just the worst sense of humor in all the Sunshine State. Even worse than Connie Mack's campaign manager!Omeranz's owner attended a charity auction hosted by Marlins president David Sams ... More >>

Marlins Will Outbid Everyone to Land Cuban Defector Yoennis Cespedes

​Jeffrey Loria's shopping spree isn't over. Several reports indicate the Marlins are committed to outbidding anyone who stands in their way of landing recently defected Cuban star Yoennis Cespedes once the MLB declares him a free agent. It makes sense. Not only would Cespedes be the cherry atop th ... More >>

Marlins Will Make Jose Reyes Cut His Dreads

Reyes is not as free as his hair. ​Good thing the Marlins are the only team in the MLB with an official barber, because newly signed Jose Reyes will have to sit down in Hugo Tandron's chair soon. Reyes has sported shoulder length dreadlocks for the better part of his career with the Mets, but the ... More >>

Logan Morrison And His Twitter Demoted As LoMo Rips Marlins For Move

​The Florida Marlins would have you believe they abruptly demoted fan favorite Logan Morrison after last night's loss to the Giants because his batting average has dipped below .250 -- an excuse so blatantly untrue that Jeffrey Loria must have been cackling in his Hamptons mansion as he helped gho ... More >>

Carlos Gimenez lies already

Florida Marlins and NASCAR Own Our New Mayor Carlos Gimenez

​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke, who lost in a bid to become Miami-Dade mayor, says new top man Carlos Gimenez bent over for the Florida Marlins and the ... More >>

Marlins Stadium Construction 70 Percent Complete; Marlins' Season Destruction Also About 70 Percent Complete

​Say what you will about the Marlins new Little Havana stadium, but at least the actual construction of the boondoggle has gone on without even a single hitch. We can not say the same for the Marlins actually season, however. The pure destruction that has resulted after a promising start is now, b ... More >>

Six lies about the Marlins stadium

The Ten Best Nicknames For the Marlins Stadium: Help Us Pick A Winner

What horrible nickname will stick?​Wow. We knew you guys detested the Marlins Stadium deal, but now we're afraid Miami needs some serious, professional therapy (or at least a big morning hit of Valium) to cope with the Little Havana boondoggle.We got nearly one hundred suggestions after we asked f ... More >>

Marlins President David Samson 'Tops Off' Last Piece of New Stadium's Retractable Roof

photo by Tim ElfrinkDavid Samson talks after signing the last piece of the Marlins Stadium roof.​Wielding a thick black marker, Marlins President David Samson flourished his signature onto a gray steel beam. Moments later, a massive crane hoisted the girder high above the new Marlins stadium and g ... More >>

Five SoFla projects that have snorted our taxes

Sign of the Times

Sign of the Times

Sign of the Times

Marlins President: We "Absolutely Never" Lied

​The reaction across the board has been pretty universal after Florida Marlins owner Jeffery Loria and team president David Samson were exposed for lying about the team's finances earlier this week: People are pissed. Miami-Dade County Commissioner Rebecca Sosa has even requested the team giv ... More >>

Marlins rip out the Teal Monster to make a few bucks

Can The Marlins Sink Any Lower To Make A Buck? Yes They Can!

Marlins fans, that proud clan of several hundred clad in teal and black, didn't spend their off-season dreaming of free-agent fire-throwers. Just because zillions of your tax dollars are paying for their new stadium doesn't mean the Marlins plan to stop winning the World Series of Cheapskatery ... More >>

Big League Chew

Make a Splash, Big Boy

Dear Jeffrey Loria: Quit Acting Like a D-Bag and Leave Fredi Alone

Somewhere in a New York penthouse right now, Jeffrey Loria is angrily straightening a Picasso on his wall, swigging a vintage Chianti, and cursing loudly.via Hazboy's flickrWhy wouldn't you fire the best manager in baseball?​His Marlins have missed the playoffs yet again. And Loria has decided it ... More >>

Stadium Approved, Good Friggin' Riddance

My favorite moment in yesterday's nine-hour discussion of the new $2 billion Marlins Stadium came at 9:27 p.m., when Commissioner "Space Cowboy" Javier Souto began defending himself from concerns that Mayor Carlos Alvarez runs him like an Italian train: "My vote is not for sale, rent, or lease," Sou ... More >>

Letters from the Issue of January 22, 2009

"Everyone is blaming the problems of this project on the tanking economy, without even thinking about the death of a once very popular Omni Mall."

Every Rose Has It's Thorn

Marlins spend on marketing rather than getting good players.

Toxic Jock Syndrome

Hank Goldberg offers Miami sports fans more than tired talk-radio shtick; the journalist backs up his on-air diatribes with hard facts and common sense

Photo Finish

Where has the Daniel Azoulay Gallery gone?

BEST LOCAL PHANTASMAGORIA

Meet the Florida Marlins, er, Riddlers

The team is back for another year but questions abound