David Samson

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Blogs
May 2, 2012
Marlins Park: The Roof Is Leaking and the Grass Is Dying
The past few days of rainy weather have been a real test for the new Marlins Park, and the $515 million stadium has not passed with flying colors. The team's management is now scrambling to fix leaks in the 8,000-ton retractable roof and, because that roof has been closed longer than expected, to re ... More >>
Blogs
April 27, 2012
Dave Samson Ran By New Times Office, But We Had No Tomatoes To Throw at Him UPDATE
Today is the day Miami Marlins President Dave Samson is running 52 miles in honor of the construction workers who built him and his ex-step-daddy Jeffrey Loria the half-billion dollar ball park paid primarily by Miami-Dade taxpayers. We told readers about Samson's shameless publicity stunt to show o ... More >>
Blogs
April 17, 2012
Marlins' Reality Show Trailer Shows Ozzie Guillen Being Suspended By David Samson
The second season of The Franchise, Showtime's baseball "docudrama" (a fancy word for reality series) isn't supposed to debut for months. Of course, this season the show is following the exploits of the Miami Marlins, and the season has already had its fair share of drama. So, Showtime is rushing a ... More >>
Blogs
April 4, 2012
Video: Marlins Park Includes a "Bobblehead Museum"
There are just so many bizarre features at the new Marlins Park that apparently we in the media haven't been able to keep up with all the insanity. Like, did you even know that the stadium includes a Bobblehead Museum? Seriously, there are 588 different bobbleheads encased behind glass, and the shel ... More >>
Blogs
April 3, 2012
Marlins President David Samson is Going to Run 50 Miles Because He Can
The Miami Marlins chief munchkin wants to show South Florida what a tough little Ironman he is. Team President David Samson is going to run 50 miles on April 27, from Pompano Beach to Coral Gables, in honor of the 5,000 workers who built the new Marlins Stadium. We're sure they're thrilled. Who woul ... More >>
News
March 29, 2012
Logan Morrison is the Marlins' tweeter in chief
The Miami Marlins chief munchkin wants to show South Florida what a tough little Ironman he is. Team President David Samson is going to run 50 miles on April 27, from Pompano Beach to Coral Gables, in honor of the 5,000 workers who built the new Marlins Stadium. We're sure they're thrilled. Who woul ... More >>
Blogs
March 27, 2012
New Marlins Stadium Food and Lunacy: Body Painting With Sazon
Somewhere between the new tax-payer-funded stadium, Romero Britto drama, and the ridiculous sculpture with somersaulting marlins, we mustered up the curiosity to see what the Marlins Park kitchens will be whipping out.So throw on those rose-colored glasses, folks. The Miami Marlins, who open thei ... More >>
News
March 22, 2012
Miami Marlins hate taxpayers
Somewhere between the new tax-payer-funded stadium, Romero Britto drama, and the ridiculous sculpture with somersaulting marlins, we mustered up the curiosity to see what the Marlins Park kitchens will be whipping out.So throw on those rose-colored glasses, folks. The Miami Marlins, who open thei ... More >>
Blogs
March 20, 2012
With Politicians' Help, Marlins Are Screwing Stadium Neighbors
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke rips commissioners for the looming parking and traffic problems at the Miami Marlins ballpark.With the Marlins 16 days aw ... More >>
Blogs
March 9, 2012
The Miami Mascot Madness Tournament Final: It's Hurricane vs. Hurricane
The time has come: we've now reached the grand championship match-up of our Miami Mascot Madness Tournament. Despite some close calls in Round One, the match-ups in Round Two were both total blowouts. In fact, when we started this tournament we would have never seen this coming: It's Sebastian th ... More >>
Blogs
March 8, 2012
Marlins Prez David Samson Clarifies That He Thinks All Americans Are Stupid and Lazy
Miami Marlins President David Samson waded into hot water this week after he told a local business council that he thinks Miamians are stupid. Last night Samson talked with WSVN to clarify his remarks. Don't worry guys, he doesn't think Miamians are especially stupid. He wants to clarify that he ... More >>
Blogs
March 7, 2012
Marlins Prez David Samson Calls Miamians Stupid, Says He Cares More About Money Than Fans
In a smarmy speech before a group of Miami business leaders, Miami Marlins team president David Samson gloated about his success in wrangling taxpayer money in a sweetheart deal to build his team's new stadium. Then he turned around and called the very people who footed the bill, Miamians, stupid ... More >>
Blogs
March 5, 2012
Even Some Marlins Players Don't Like That Ugly Home Run Sculpture
You know by now how we feel about the Marlins' horrendously ugly robotic home run sculpture. It's a horrid affront to all that is good taste and aesthetic decency. But we're not the only ones who have problems with it. Some Marlins players have expressed concerns and worry that the sculpture coul ... More >>
Blogs
February 24, 2012
Florida Business Sues Marlins, Says It Bought Team For $10 Million at Charity Banquet
Somewhere in Florida there is a business named Omeranz & Landsma whose owner, whoever he or she may be, has just the worst sense of humor in all the Sunshine State. Even worse than Connie Mack's campaign manager!Omeranz's owner attended a charity auction hosted by Marlins president David Sams ... More >>
Blogs
January 24, 2012
Marlins Will Outbid Everyone to Land Cuban Defector Yoennis Cespedes
Jeffrey Loria's shopping spree isn't over. Several reports indicate the Marlins are committed to outbidding anyone who stands in their way of landing recently defected Cuban star Yoennis Cespedes once the MLB declares him a free agent. It makes sense. Not only would Cespedes be the cherry atop th ... More >>
Blogs
December 7, 2011
Marlins Will Make Jose Reyes Cut His Dreads
Reyes is not as free as his hair. Good thing the Marlins are the only team in the MLB with an official barber, because newly signed Jose Reyes will have to sit down in Hugo Tandron's chair soon. Reyes has sported shoulder length dreadlocks for the better part of his career with the Mets, but the ... More >>
Blogs
August 14, 2011
Logan Morrison And His Twitter Demoted As LoMo Rips Marlins For Move
The Florida Marlins would have you believe they abruptly demoted fan favorite Logan Morrison after last night's loss to the Giants because his batting average has dipped below .250 -- an excuse so blatantly untrue that Jeffrey Loria must have been cackling in his Hamptons mansion as he helped gho ... More >>
News
July 21, 2011
Carlos Gimenez lies already
The Florida Marlins would have you believe they abruptly demoted fan favorite Logan Morrison after last night's loss to the Giants because his batting average has dipped below .250 -- an excuse so blatantly untrue that Jeffrey Loria must have been cackling in his Hamptons mansion as he helped gho ... More >>
Blogs
July 19, 2011
Florida Marlins and NASCAR Own Our New Mayor Carlos Gimenez
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke, who lost in a bid to become Miami-Dade mayor, says new top man Carlos Gimenez bent over for the Florida Marlins and the ... More >>
Blogs
June 16, 2011
Marlins Stadium Construction 70 Percent Complete; Marlins' Season Destruction Also About 70 Percent Complete
Say what you will about the Marlins new Little Havana stadium, but at least the actual construction of the boondoggle has gone on without even a single hitch. We can not say the same for the Marlins actually season, however. The pure destruction that has resulted after a promising start is now, b ... More >>
News
May 5, 2011
Six lies about the Marlins stadium
Say what you will about the Marlins new Little Havana stadium, but at least the actual construction of the boondoggle has gone on without even a single hitch. We can not say the same for the Marlins actually season, however. The pure destruction that has resulted after a promising start is now, b ... More >>
Blogs
May 5, 2011
The Ten Best Nicknames For the Marlins Stadium: Help Us Pick A Winner
What horrible nickname will stick?Wow. We knew you guys detested the Marlins Stadium deal, but now we're afraid Miami needs some serious, professional therapy (or at least a big morning hit of Valium) to cope with the Little Havana boondoggle.We got nearly one hundred suggestions after we asked f ... More >>
Blogs
March 25, 2011
Marlins President David Samson 'Tops Off' Last Piece of New Stadium's Retractable Roof
photo by Tim ElfrinkDavid Samson talks after signing the last piece of the Marlins Stadium roof.Wielding a thick black marker, Marlins President David Samson flourished his signature onto a gray steel beam. Moments later, a massive crane hoisted the girder high above the new Marlins stadium and g ... More >>
News
December 9, 2010
Five SoFla projects that have snorted our taxes
photo by Tim ElfrinkDavid Samson talks after signing the last piece of the Marlins Stadium roof.Wielding a thick black marker, Marlins President David Samson flourished his signature onto a gray steel beam. Moments later, a massive crane hoisted the girder high above the new Marlins stadium and g ... More >>
Calendar
September 2, 2010
Sign of the Times
photo by Tim ElfrinkDavid Samson talks after signing the last piece of the Marlins Stadium roof.Wielding a thick black marker, Marlins President David Samson flourished his signature onto a gray steel beam. Moments later, a massive crane hoisted the girder high above the new Marlins stadium and g ... More >>
Calendar
September 2, 2010
Sign of the Times
photo by Tim ElfrinkDavid Samson talks after signing the last piece of the Marlins Stadium roof.Wielding a thick black marker, Marlins President David Samson flourished his signature onto a gray steel beam. Moments later, a massive crane hoisted the girder high above the new Marlins stadium and g ... More >>
Calendar
September 2, 2010
Sign of the Times
photo by Tim ElfrinkDavid Samson talks after signing the last piece of the Marlins Stadium roof.Wielding a thick black marker, Marlins President David Samson flourished his signature onto a gray steel beam. Moments later, a massive crane hoisted the girder high above the new Marlins stadium and g ... More >>
Blogs
August 26, 2010
Marlins President: We "Absolutely Never" Lied
The reaction across the board has been pretty universal after Florida Marlins owner Jeffery Loria and team president David Samson were exposed for lying about the team's finances earlier this week: People are pissed. Miami-Dade County Commissioner Rebecca Sosa has even requested the team giv ... More >>
News
April 29, 2010
Marlins rip out the Teal Monster to make a few bucks
The reaction across the board has been pretty universal after Florida Marlins owner Jeffery Loria and team president David Samson were exposed for lying about the team's finances earlier this week: People are pissed. Miami-Dade County Commissioner Rebecca Sosa has even requested the team giv ... More >>
Blogs
April 26, 2010
Can The Marlins Sink Any Lower To Make A Buck? Yes They Can!
Marlins fans, that proud clan of several hundred clad in teal and black, didn't spend their off-season dreaming of free-agent fire-throwers. Just because zillions of your tax dollars are paying for their new stadium doesn't mean the Marlins plan to stop winning the World Series of Cheapskatery ... More >>
Calendar
April 1, 2010
Big League Chew
Marlins fans, that proud clan of several hundred clad in teal and black, didn't spend their off-season dreaming of free-agent fire-throwers. Just because zillions of your tax dollars are paying for their new stadium doesn't mean the Marlins plan to stop winning the World Series of Cheapskatery ... More >>
Calendar
January 7, 2010
Make a Splash, Big Boy
Marlins fans, that proud clan of several hundred clad in teal and black, didn't spend their off-season dreaming of free-agent fire-throwers. Just because zillions of your tax dollars are paying for their new stadium doesn't mean the Marlins plan to stop winning the World Series of Cheapskatery ... More >>
Blogs
October 5, 2009
Dear Jeffrey Loria: Quit Acting Like a D-Bag and Leave Fredi Alone
Somewhere in a New York penthouse right now, Jeffrey Loria is angrily straightening a Picasso on his wall, swigging a vintage Chianti, and cursing loudly.via Hazboy's flickrWhy wouldn't you fire the best manager in baseball?His Marlins have missed the playoffs yet again. And Loria has decided it ... More >>
Blogs
March 24, 2009
Stadium Approved, Good Friggin' Riddance
My favorite moment in yesterday's nine-hour discussion of the new $2 billion Marlins Stadium came at 9:27 p.m., when Commissioner "Space Cowboy" Javier Souto began defending himself from concerns that Mayor Carlos Alvarez runs him like an Italian train: "My vote is not for sale, rent, or lease," Sou ... More >>
News
January 22, 2009
Letters from the Issue of January 22, 2009
"Everyone is blaming the problems of this project on the tanking economy, without even thinking about the death of a once very popular Omni Mall."
Calendar
April 10, 2008
Every Rose Has It's Thorn
Marlins spend on marketing rather than getting good players.
News
June 24, 2004
Toxic Jock Syndrome
Hank Goldberg offers Miami sports fans more than tired talk-radio shtick; the journalist backs up his on-air diatribes with hard facts and common sense
News
May 20, 2004
Photo Finish
Where has the Daniel Azoulay Gallery gone?
City Life
May 13, 2004
BEST LOCAL PHANTASMAGORIA
Where has the Daniel Azoulay Gallery gone?
News
April 11, 2002
Meet the Florida Marlins, er, Riddlers
The team is back for another year but questions abound

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