Chris Paul and the West All-Stars edged a East team featuring three Miami Heat starters 143-138 Sunday Night. Even though LeBron and Wade combined for 40 points and were good for a few of their typical "Flying Death Machine" highlight finishes, it was Paul who snagged the game MVP with 20 points, 15 ... More >>
Does Jeffrey Loria lie awake at night, in his Britto-decorated pajamas, trying to think of new ways to be disgusting? Tomorrow night--11/11/11!-- the owner of the mediocre baseball collective soon-to-be-formerly known as the Florida Marlins will throw his crowning gala at the new stadium. To com ... More >>
Each year, New Times puts together a list of the sketchiest politicians and unholiest celebrities and weirdest human beings to call the Magic City home. So who made the filthy cut this year? We're releasing the names one by one ahead of next week's issue, which comes with a full-page illustra ... More >>
No thanks, Dubya.Thanksgiving: a glutton's favorite holiday and a vegetarian's worst nightmare. Love it or hate it, we're a week away from miserable flight delays, Salvation Army Santas, and arguing about politics with distant family relatives at the dinner table; we love the Holidays. And this y ... More >>
Marlins rookie outfielder Mike Stanton was named NL Player of the Week. He was given the honor after bludgeoning the Nationals and Reds collective pitching staffs last week using only his bat and his boyish good looks. Stanton collected a total of eight hits and six RBI in a three-game series aga ... More >>
Jorge Cantu and his productive bat and his Spaghetti Western movie villain facial hair were all shipped to Texas yesterday in exchange for pitching prospects Evan Reed and Omar Paveta. The Marlins will be paying $600,000 of the $2.2 million remaining on Cantu's contract, because, well, these are ... More >>
Your Florida Marlins are coming off a weekend series with the NL East leading Atlanta Braves. And if you're a fan of perpetual bullpen meltdowns and shaving cream pies in the face, you're in luck! Here's how it all went down: Game 1, Marlins 7 - Braves 6: We can talk about the bullpen blowing ye ... More >>
The Washington Nationals did everything to thwart Marlins ace Josh Johnson this past Saturday. They made him throw 30 pitches in the first inning before he could record his first out. They brought in Stephen Strasburg the previous night to throw some rookie-phenom mojo at him. They even trotted ... More >>
Warning to baseball purists: Watch the above video with extreme caution, industrial-grade earplugs and a few highlight reels of the 1964 World Series handy to revive your sense of basic MLB dignity. The Marlins have brought vuvuzelas to baseball. Specifically, they handed out 15,000 of the horns th ... More >>
New Times' story about official Marlins barber Hugo Tandron, the former Carol City thug who went from violent criminal charges to his own shop and a stable of millionaire athlete clients, is online and hits stands this week.In-house videographer extraordinaire Jacob Katel did his thing with footage ... More >>
It's a travesty. An outrage. Mess with Jorge, Josh, or Freddi -- but don't fool around with Hanley.At 11 a.m. Tuesday, April 13, Florida Marlins wunderkind Hanley Ramirez awoke from graceful slumber to find somebody had vandalized three of his matching white vehicles parked in front of his seven- ... More >>
Wikimedia Commons via user Djh57. If Hanley Ramirez does some amazing shit but nobody's there to see it... it's still amazing.They live, as quietly as cloistered monks, among us. They wash our dogs, write our blogs, prepare our taxes, and, you know, do other things people do for a living. ... More >>
Photo by Dirk Hansen, via Wikicommons and http://www.flickr.com/people/dirkhansenIt took awhile, but the Marlins finally beat the Philadelphia Phillies this season.Fish rookie outfielder Chris Coghlan won the National League Rookie of the Year Award today, narrowly beating out Phillies pitcher J. ... More >>
You have to give the Fish some serious credit this year. via Wikimedia Commons Hanley ANGRY!For the 87th consecutive season, they rank last in the bigs in team salary. But somehow they've stayed in the Wild Card hunt. (Quick fun comparison sure to add to the New York Mets ... More >>
Hanley is one of the best players in the league, but even Batman needs Robin.Dan Uggla has yet to recover from last year's disastrous All-Star game. He committed three errors and struck out three times in that Midsummer Classic. Since that game, he is hitting .227 with 25 homers while st ... More >>
Last time we turned to Florida Marlins baseball, we watched a mediocre team being pummeled by the best in the game. The New York Yankee fans were giggling at the ineptitude of a school of Fish that could only garner three hits. It was pathetic, But that was last night. And ton ... More >>
The Miami Herald reported Wednesday that there's a Chad Pennington imposter tweeting on Twitter. The quarterback's supposed account talked about various meals and get-togethers with teammates, according to the story. Pennington said he isn't a member of any social networking websites.But what ab ... More >>
We were on the top of the world, and getting everybody's attention. Regis Philbin inserted the Marlins into his daily Senile Round-up. Philadelphia sportswriters were warning fans that the Phillies had more than the Mets to worry about. "They're not a mirage and they're not going away," wrote the Da ... More >>
Remember this moment the next time you hear Jeffrey Loria whining about how much he needs a new stadium to keep the Marlins profitable. Remember it next year, when Loria sells off Hanley Ramirez, Dan Uggla, Josh Johnson, and any other Marlins player who might command more than a few mil as a free ag ... More >>
It's spring, and that means the Marlins are back.
BY GUS GARCIA-ROBERTS AND TIM ELFRINK Boy, were we pleased when Hanley Ramirez made an empty demand for a trade earlier this spring after the team forced him to mow his cornrows. Our joy had nothing to do with wanting to see Han-Ram go. We would sacrifice our first-born to Jeffrey Loria if we thoug ... More >>
With all the hullaballo and hubbub over the giant tax-pit ... um ... new Marlins Stadium proposal, it's easy to forget that the Fish are still a baseball team and the new season is almost upon us. It's a shame, really. For true baseball fans, Spring Training is the best time of the year. Everyone's ... More >>
Out of contention, the Marlins look to play spoiler once again.
The Marlins vie for the NL East title on Super Saturday.
The sign hangs over a locked turnstile outside Dolphin Stadium, gently mocking hundreds of Marlins fans trapped in a winding gauntlet of fences protecting the handful of ticket sellers at Wednesday's divisional showdown against the Mets. Lightning flashes. Torrents of rain darken the horizon. Cloud ... More >>
Another Super Saturday, another shot at taking the NL East lead.
Hanley Ramirez It’s about time the rest of the world got exposed to the sheer awesomeness that is the Florida Marlins’ Hanley Ramirez. Yesterday it was announced that Ramirez will be the starting shortstop for the National League in next week’s All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium. Ramirez beat ou ... More >>
If you listen long enough, you can still hear it. The sound of thunder reverberating throughout the sky from last night’s Marlins walk-off grand slam against the Phillies. The Gods on Olympus forged his arms out of molten lava and rawhide; his balls were cast from pure steel. His name is Dan Ug ... More >>
The Marlins not-so-secret weapon aims at the Reds.