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November 24, 2005
Zo's da Man!
The Heat takes on Dallas and New York
News
August 7, 1991
Program Notes
The Heat takes on Dallas and New York
News
May 6, 1992
Program Notes
The Heat takes on Dallas and New York
Music
December 1, 1993
Gimme Swelter
Three rebels with a clue go for the local-rock home run
Blogs
December 11, 2009
News Roundup: Forgetful Grandmother Charged in Baby's Death
The grandmother who accidently left a 3-month-old baby in a car to die is being charged with aggravated manslaughter. Temperatures in the car reached 134 degrees. [PBPost]She's out on a $10,000 bond. [CBS4]Five Miami-Dade high schools make a national list of the 100 best high schools. [Herald]A crui ... More >>
Calendar
December 2, 2010
Cavlier Attitude
The grandmother who accidently left a 3-month-old baby in a car to die is being charged with aggravated manslaughter. Temperatures in the car reached 134 degrees. [PBPost]She's out on a $10,000 bond. [CBS4]Five Miami-Dade high schools make a national list of the 100 best high schools. [Herald]A crui ... More >>
Calendar
December 9, 2010
Rivalry Renewed
The grandmother who accidently left a 3-month-old baby in a car to die is being charged with aggravated manslaughter. Temperatures in the car reached 134 degrees. [PBPost]She's out on a $10,000 bond. [CBS4]Five Miami-Dade high schools make a national list of the 100 best high schools. [Herald]A crui ... More >>
Blogs
December 21, 2010
Tricky Micky: Arison's Heat Doesn't Pay Rent For County-Owned Arena
A very powerful pig.Even though they lost last night to the Mavs, the LeBron-ified Miami Heat are finally playing like juggernauts. And the team is profiting like one, too, from ticket and paraphernalia sales. In fact, the Micky Arison-owned wunderkinds expect to make more money this season than ... More >>
Blogs
December 21, 2010
Mainstream Media is Free to Hate Again! Miami Heat's 12-Game Win Streak Snapped
Apparently, the Miami Heat are only able to beat the Dallas Mavericks if the two are playing in the NBA Finals. Dirk Nowitzki dropped 26 points while Jason Terry scored all of his 19 late in the fourth quarter as the Mavericks ended the Heat's 12-game winning streak in a 98-96 final Monday night. ... More >>
Blogs
January 27, 2011
LeBron Increased Value of Heat by 17%, Dropped Cavs' by 26%
The Miami Heat may be the most talked about NBA team this season, but they aren't the most valuable. However, the signing of LeBron James and Chris Bosh saw the team's value increase by 17 percent since last year, according to Forbes.com. That's the biggest increase in value over one year in the ... More >>
Blogs
May 19, 2011
Chicago Bulls Have A Hollering Advantage Over the Miami Heat
Because this is the NBA and we do a lot of screaming around here!Which team will win the Eastern Conference Finals won't come down to how great the Miami Heat's big three perform or how wonderfully efficient the Chicago Bulls' bench mob execute their tenacious defensive and rebounding skills. No ... More >>
Blogs
May 26, 2011
Five Reasons Miami Is a Better City Than Dallas
The Dallas Mavericks earned a spot in the NBA Finals Wednesday night with their 100-96 win over the Oklahoma City Thunder, which means once the Heat finally put the Chicago Bulls out of their misery tonight, all that stands between Miami and a national title is a shaggy, horse-toothed German and his ... More >>
Blogs
May 31, 2011
Heat-Mavericks Rivalry Getting Religulous
Archbishop Wenski, is going to wash down a Miami Heat victory with Dallas BBQ and pecan pie.These days, everyone is weighing in on the rivalry between the Miami Heat and the Dull-ass Mavericks. Even God.As the Pope's duly appointed representative in South Florida, Archbishop of Miami Thomas Wensk ... More >>
Blogs
June 1, 2011
Heat vs. Mavs: Joe's Stone Crab Better Than Cholesterol-Filled Beef
Stone crab at Joe's.The Miami Heat obliterated the Dallas Mavericks last night, busting Dirk Nowitzki's finger and pretty much ending the series in the first game. But even more important: A bet between Joe's Stone Crab and the Dallas Chop House. A hundred pounds of fatty disgusting ribeye steak ... More >>
Blogs
June 1, 2011
Dallas Mavericks vs. Miami Heat Game 1: Winning Time
If you're a fan of low scoring games, low-percentage shooting and sleep depravity, then Game 1 of the NBA Finals was the game for you!LeBron James scored 24 while Dwyane Wade added 22 and Chris Bosh went for 19 as the Miami Heat took down the Dallas Mavericks 92-84 to take the first game of the b ... More >>
Blogs
June 1, 2011
Prank Calling Six Miami Bars and Strip Clubs Where You Should Go Watch the Heat vs. Mavs
Photo by Mike Ehrmann via heat.comKick ass and get drunk with Udonis and the Heat.Pour us another IPA. All this ass kickin' is making us thirsty. By ass kickin', we mean basketball. And by thirsty, we mean drunk. What can we say, Miami loves a team that wins, and right now The Heat are putting ... More >>
Blogs
June 2, 2011
Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks: We're Going to Grill Them (In Barbecue) UPDATE
Beef - it's not just a game.UPDATE: City of Ate, our sister food blog over at the Dallas Observer, respectfully disagrees.Tonight's second Finals face-off between the Miami Heat and the Dallas Mavericks at the American Airlines Arena (ours not theirs, dummy) is the hottest ticket in town. M ... More >>
Blogs
June 2, 2011
Pepe Billete's Top Five Reasons The Miami Heat Will Win The NBA Title
Oye, Guanabacoa's most famous resident since Rick Sanchez is guaranteeing the Miami Heat will pick up its second Larry O'Brian trophy in the NBA Finals.In his latest YouTube video, Pepe Billete explains why the Dallas Mavericks suck ass while partaking in one of his favorite past times. We've loo ... More >>
News
June 2, 2011
Five reasons Miami is better than Dallas
Oye, Guanabacoa's most famous resident since Rick Sanchez is guaranteeing the Miami Heat will pick up its second Larry O'Brian trophy in the NBA Finals.In his latest YouTube video, Pepe Billete explains why the Dallas Mavericks suck ass while partaking in one of his favorite past times. We've loo ... More >>
Blogs
June 4, 2011
The Dallas Mavericks: Hometown Heroes of the Most Backward State in the Union
Jason Kidd, circa 1987For game 3 of the NBA Finals against the Mavericks, the Miami Heat will be going on the road and into unpleasant territory. Not just unpleasant for opposing professional sports teams -- we're talking bad for everybody.There has been plenty of good-natured trash talk bouncing ... More >>
Blogs
June 6, 2011
Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals Game 3: MV3
Nothing screams "I Am A Righteous Ass Kicking Machine" quite like overcoming one of the NBA Finals worst collapses, an officiating crew that absolutely refused to call any fouls for you but insisted on blowing the whistle if you so much as breathed on the giant German, and having one of your team ... More >>
Blogs
June 6, 2011
Lakers' Ron Artest Picks Heat to Win In 4 or 5 or 6 or Not At All
Ron Artest, the NBA's favorite halftime-boozing, riot-inducing maniac, has gotten quite interested in this year's NBA Finals -- unencumbered by playoff obligations of his own, he's been making predictions for a week despite not knowing what day the games are on or what city they're being pla ... More >>
Blogs
June 7, 2011
Dirk Nowitzki Is Hollywood as Hell Too
Dirk NowitzkiUncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Luke explains how the NBA commissioner is assisting Dallas Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki.The Heat hater brigade loves to h ... More >>
Blogs
June 7, 2011
"Udonis Haslem," O'Grime, and Metro Zu Say: "F%$# the Mavericks, Bitch!"
A friendly message for the Mavs.The last time Crossfade got weird with the O'Grime boys, we bumrushed a Taco Bell, scrubbed ourselves down with Mexican meat, and wasted $400 on 15 minutes with a stripper slathered in nacho cheese. In a word, it was awesome. And really, there's only one scenario ... More >>
Blogs
June 8, 2011
Heat Fans Watch NBA Finals Game 4 At AA Arena, Have Fun, Leave Sad
We won't name names, but one of these nice young men TOOK A DAMNED NAP TUESDAY NIGHT.It was like nobody told the Heat fans it was an away game.American Airlines Arena hosted a "road rally" in the stands Tuesday night to watch the live broadcast of game 4 of the NBA Finals, and that place was full. S ... More >>
Blogs
June 8, 2011
Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals Game 4: LeTurd
Well, shit. The Miami Heat must really love blowing fourth-quarter leads, because the team did it again last night in Game 4 of the NBA Finals, allowing the Dallas Mavericks to win the game 86-83 and tying the finals.Meanwhile, LeBron James had the worst performance of his playoff career. Dwyane ... More >>
News
June 9, 2011
Jason Terry's tattoo shows he has more balls than brains
Well, shit. The Miami Heat must really love blowing fourth-quarter leads, because the team did it again last night in Game 4 of the NBA Finals, allowing the Dallas Mavericks to win the game 86-83 and tying the finals.Meanwhile, LeBron James had the worst performance of his playoff career. Dwyane ... More >>
Blogs
June 10, 2011
Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals Game 5: On The Brink
After the giant mound of ostrich shit that was LeBron James' 8-point performance from Game 4, he called Game 5 the biggest of his career. The world then waited for LeBron to come out in Game 5 and serve the Mavericks a can filled with ass whoopin'. Instead, Heat fans got served a can filled with ... More >>
Blogs
June 10, 2011
Four Facts To Help You Fake Your Way Through an NBA Finals Conversation
Wikimedia Commons user steenslagA clown cries after getting mocked for asking what time the Celtics game was on.The Heat are down 3-2. Dwyane Wade has a busted hip. LeBron James had a triple-double and still, somehow, looked horrible. It was a bad night.But it doesn't have to be a bad day, too. C ... More >>
Blogs
June 10, 2011
Lil Wayne Hangs With the Miami Heat, Preps MTV Unplugged, and Plans Massive Party at Cameo Tomorrow
We obsessed with Weezy!If you follow Lil Wayne's every word, whisper, tweet, or bowel movement with the same kind of psycho obsession as Crossfade, then we suggest you get a life, a little professional help, and maybe even some medication. It's ruined our life. And it can ruin yours too. But if ... More >>
Blogs
June 13, 2011
Mark Cuban on SportsCenter: "Our Fans Just Punked The Shit Out of the Miami Fans"
So Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban refrained from acting like Mark Cuban during these playoffs, which was refreshing because Mark Cuban is insufferable when he acts like Mark Cuban. But then the Mavericks won the Finals and Mark Cuban unleashed his Mark Cuban-ness by cursing on live TV and ... More >>
Blogs
June 13, 2011
Dallas Mavericks Go Clubbing on South Beach With Championship Trophy
Terrence JenkinsA man who appears to be Mavs owner Mark Cuban hoists the Larry O'Brien Trophy at a Miami Beach nightclub. Shit.Well, insult has been definitively added to injury. After they stomped the Miami Heat 105-95 in game 6, the NBA champion Dallas Mavericks -- and owner Mark Cuban -- went ... More >>
Blogs
June 13, 2011
Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals Game 6: Kaput
After winning Game six 105-95, the Dallas Mavericks are NBA champions. Meanwhile, the Miami Heat are left with a shitload of questions, LeBron James will continue to be haunted by his Finals failure, and Heat fans everywhere are walking around feeling like their favorite uncle just placed his wie ... More >>
Blogs
June 13, 2011
Birdman Lost His $2 Million Heat Bet but Still Parties With Mavericks
Last night was brutal for Miamians, but considering rapper Birdman had boasted he made a $2 million bet on the Heat in the NBA Finals, we figured he'd be a bit more despondent than the rest of us. Apparently watching his team and bank account lose didn't stop Baby from having a good time las ... More >>
Blogs
June 13, 2011
Las Vegas Odds Makers: Heat Favored to Win 2012 Finals
Let's hope you didn't burn any of your Miami Heat championship party decorations last night, because according to Las Vegas odds makers, Dwyane Wade and company are already the frontrunners for the 2012 finals. Apparently winning last night hasn't made Dirk Nowitzki and his Dallas Mavericks favor ... More >>
Blogs
June 15, 2011
Classless DeShawn Stevenson Arrested For Being Drunk and Lost
Stevenson reportedly could not bail himself out with the stupid $5 bill tattooed on his stupid throat.Dallas Maverick and all-around shitty person DeShawn Stevenson done got himself arrested. What a pity.Stevenson, who called the Miami Heat "classless" after game 6 and then showed up in Dallas th ... More >>
Blogs
June 15, 2011
The Wonderful Dallas Fans: Highlights from the Comments Section
"We won the championship! That means we get to threaten people on the Internet!"It was an innocent post: Mavericks guard DeShawn Stevenson got arrested when he was found drunk in an apartment complex. If he hadn't called the Heat "classless" earlier this week, there probably wouldn't have been a ... More >>
Blogs
June 22, 2011
Mark Cuban Pastes Photo of Mavericks Hoisting Finals Trophy in Legal Argument
Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has been sexin' his team's championship trophy every night. He said that Dallas fans "punked the shit out of" Miami Heat fans, using a phrase mostly unknown outside of the 12-year-olds-hangin'-at-Orange-Julius crowd. And now, as reported by our sister paper, ... More >>
Blogs
June 29, 2011
J.J. Barea Open to Signing With The Heat
Dirk Nowitzki may have walked away with the finals MVP award after the Dallas Maverick's drubbing of the Miami Heat, but he couldn't have done it without the explosive play of J.J. Barea. That fact was made all the more painful because Barea is a graduate of Miami Christian and a former Miami-Dad ... More >>
Blogs
July 18, 2011
Chris Bosh Got Hitched at the Fontainebleau This Weekend
via Global GrindDespite the fact that he may have gotten legally married to Adrienne Williams shortly before the playoffs, Chris Bosh made it official this weekend with a lavish ceremony at the Fontainebleau on Miami Beach. (Yes, the same place where the Mavs celebrated their finals win.) Unlike ... More >>
Blogs
July 19, 2011
2011-12 Heat Schedule Released: Mavs Rematch Set For Christmas Day
The NBA has released its 2012 schedule (assuming the lockout doesn't delay play), and the Miami Heat will kick off its season at Madison Square Garden against the Knicks. The team will also be working on Christmas Day this year in an NBA Finals rematch against the Dallas Mavericks in an away game ... More >>
Blogs
September 27, 2011
Wade, James and Bosh to Host Charity All-Star Game at FIU
Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh haven't played together since the last game of the NBA Finals, and with the lockout in full effect we weren't sure when it would happen again. That's about to change. The trio is expected to announce plan for a charity All-Star game at FIU on Octobe ... More >>
Blogs
November 3, 2011
Shaq Criticizes LeBron in Latest Autobiography Excerpt
A second round of excerpts from Shaquille O'Neal upcoming Autobiography have hit the web. In the first round, Shaq detailed his near-fight with Pat Riley, but in the latest the first Miami Heat messiah criticizes our current one, LeBron James.
Blogs
November 26, 2011
Heat to take on Mavericks on Christmas Day as NBA Deal Tentatively Reached
Its a Holiday miracle! NBA players and owners have reached a tentative deal to save the NBA season. Training camp and the free agency period will begin on December 9th, with the first games to start on Christmas day. That means that the previously scheduled December 25th match up of the Heat vs the ... More >>
Blogs
November 29, 2011
Miami Heat are Vegas's 2-to-1 Favorite to Win NBA Title
With the exact makeup of NBA's post-lock out rosters unknown, making any super informed predictions about the upcoming abbreviated season is sort of a shot in the dark. Though, with Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh on the Heat, picking them to win the NBA championship is likely your b ... More >>
Blogs
December 12, 2011
Get Free Tickets to the Premiere of Miami Heat's Into the Fire Documentary
The Heat may not have a celebration quite like last year's infamous pre-season pep rally planned to kick off the season -- but maybe that's because they want you to relive that welcoming party all over again. The Heat are about to unleash a documentary film, Into the Fire, and lucky fans will get ... More >>
News
December 29, 2011
Mavericks charter schools don't live up to big promises
The Heat may not have a celebration quite like last year's infamous pre-season pep rally planned to kick off the season -- but maybe that's because they want you to relive that welcoming party all over again. The Heat are about to unleash a documentary film, Into the Fire, and lucky fans will get ... More >>
Blogs
January 18, 2012
Dez Bryant Detained After Fight With "Famous Rapper" at Club LIV UPDATE
photo by Jovie & Mayra Griffith via Wikimedia CommonsDez BryantScratch another notch onto the Fontainebleau, the high-rollin' hotel where Gloria James (allegedly) slapped a valet and where Lil Wayne lost his 305 cred by partying with the Dallas Mavericks after they topped the Heat in the NBA ... More >>
Calendar
January 12, 2012
Zoned Out
photo by Jovie & Mayra Griffith via Wikimedia CommonsDez BryantScratch another notch onto the Fontainebleau, the high-rollin' hotel where Gloria James (allegedly) slapped a valet and where Lil Wayne lost his 305 cred by partying with the Dallas Mavericks after they topped the Heat in the NBA ... More >>
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