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Blogs
March 16, 2012
Yep, Manning Only Talked to Dolphins as a Favor to Marino
How pathetic are the Dolphins' front office? They couldn't even secure a meeting with Peyton Manning on their own and had to enlist the help of Dan Marino. Yep, despite not having played for the 'Fins for 13 years and not having any official affiliation with the team, Marino continues to be just ... More >>
News
March 1, 2012
ESPN's Skip Bayless is the king race-baiter
How pathetic are the Dolphins' front office? They couldn't even secure a meeting with Peyton Manning on their own and had to enlist the help of Dan Marino. Yep, despite not having played for the 'Fins for 13 years and not having any official affiliation with the team, Marino continues to be just ... More >>
Blogs
February 28, 2012
Skip Bayless is a Modern Day Minstrel
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke crowns ESPN talking head Skip Bayless the king of race baiting.I've got to hand it to Skip Bayless for articulating so we ... More >>
Blogs
January 24, 2012
Five Freaky Republican Presidential Candidates' Doppelgängers
The nationwide comedy tour known as the Republican presidential race is in Florida this week. Over several months, rich candidates have perfected the game of politics in their quest for the Republican Party's nomination and the chance to go up against President Barack Obama in November. Pr ... More >>
Blogs
January 19, 2012
Dez Bryant Denies He Has a Problem with Lil Wayne, Sort Of
So we know that Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant was in some sort of altercation outside LIV nightclub at the Fontainebleau on Saturday, and that's, well, about it. Rumors, aided by a Miami Herald reporter, suggested that the altercation somehow involved Lil Wayne. Though, this morning Bry ... More >>
Blogs
December 20, 2011
Sam Johnson Helped Groom Miami's Best NFL Stars
Alex IzaguirreLuther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell remembers the man who helped him start the Liberty City Optimist Club for inner-city kids.In 1989, Sam Joh ... More >>
Blogs
December 12, 2011
Dolphins Pummeled By Eagles, Still Need A Quarterback, Possibly a New Coach Too
The Philadelphia Eagles helped head coach Andy Reid win the Mustachioed Overweight Coach Who Has Overstayed His Welcome Bowl when they blew away the Dolphins 26-10 yesterday. The Dolphins have ensured themselves their third straight losing season, falling to 4-9, and remain dead-last in the AFC E ... More >>
Blogs
December 2, 2011
Igor Olshansky Arrested on Pot Charges a Day After Being Released from Dolphins
Former Miami Dolphins defensive end Igor Olshansky was having a bad week. A calf injury forced him to miss the Thanksgiving Day game against the Cowboys, and the team rewarded him by releasing him on Wednesday. All the dude wanted to do was get a little high after a tough work week, but the ... More >>
Blogs
November 25, 2011
Dolphins Lose On Thanksgiving Day
Your Miami Dolphins played in yesterday's Thanksgiving Day game against the Dallas Cowboys and lost, ending their three-game winning streak and putting their playoff hopes on life support with someone standing by ready to smother it with a pillow. The Dolphins defense did what it could, intercepting ... More >>
Blogs
October 11, 2011
LeBron James Has an NFL Career on His Mind
Is LeBron James thinking of pulling a Michael Jordan? Well, we all know he wants to win six rings, but we're talking about another career move echoing Jordan. As in temporarily quitting basketball to pursuit a career in another sport. With the cancellation of the first two weeks of the NBA offici ... More >>
Blogs
October 5, 2011
Miami Dolphins Are the 13th Most Popular NFL Team, Highest Ranking in Years
Despite the weekly disaster show on the field, the Miami Dolphins are at their highest level of popularity in years. That's according to a Harris Interactive poll that ranks the 32 NFL teams from America's most favorite to least. The Dolphins are America's 13th favorite team. Unlucky number as ... More >>
Blogs
October 3, 2011
Dolphins Fall To 0-4: It's Suck For Luck Time!
The Miami Dolphins did that thing again where they play like their scrotums are stapled to their thighs, this time losing 26-16 to the San Diego Chargers. In the process, they lost Chad Henne to a shoulder injury, forcing backup Matt Moore to step in and do exactly what Henne's been doing: namely ... More >>
Calendar
August 25, 2011
Once Undefeated
The Miami Dolphins did that thing again where they play like their scrotums are stapled to their thighs, this time losing 26-16 to the San Diego Chargers. In the process, they lost Chad Henne to a shoulder injury, forcing backup Matt Moore to step in and do exactly what Henne's been doing: namely ... More >>
News
August 18, 2011
Student athletes suffer the stings of concussions while lawmakers fail to help
The Miami Dolphins did that thing again where they play like their scrotums are stapled to their thighs, this time losing 26-16 to the San Diego Chargers. In the process, they lost Chad Henne to a shoulder injury, forcing backup Matt Moore to step in and do exactly what Henne's been doing: namely ... More >>
Blogs
May 18, 2011
Skyboxx, Magazine Devoted to Miami Heat, Fails Miserably
The story of the circus surrounding the Miami Heat was as much about the media as it was about actual basketball. ESPN gave LeBron James an entire hour to announce his "decision," and then devoted an entire section to his team. Esquire launched an entire blog about James. Every pageview-hungry sp ... More >>
News
May 12, 2011
Letters from the issue of May 12, 2011
The story of the circus surrounding the Miami Heat was as much about the media as it was about actual basketball. ESPN gave LeBron James an entire hour to announce his "decision," and then devoted an entire section to his team. Esquire launched an entire blog about James. Every pageview-hungry sp ... More >>
News
March 24, 2011
NFL players should form their own teams
The story of the circus surrounding the Miami Heat was as much about the media as it was about actual basketball. ESPN gave LeBron James an entire hour to announce his "decision," and then devoted an entire section to his team. Esquire launched an entire blog about James. Every pageview-hungry sp ... More >>
Blogs
March 21, 2011
NFL Players Should Send The Greedy Owners To Hell
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times.This week, Luke advises professional football players to form their own league.When Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson likened ... More >>
Blogs
February 4, 2011
Five Super Bowl Halftime Moments That Totally Sucked
Steven Tyler and Britney Spears ... That totally sucked.We know you're gearing up for the big game this Sunday. Maybe you're actually washing your Ben Rapistburger jersey for the first time all season, or polishing your cherished wedge of cheesehead. Whatever you're doing, you're getting pumped ... More >>
Blogs
January 11, 2011
Dolphins to Interview Former Canes Offensive Coordinator Rob Chudzinski
With Dan Henning out, the Dolphins' next order of off-season business is securing a new offensive coordinator. One of the names apparently on the shortlist is Rob Chudzinski, who should be no stranger to local sporting fans. He served as the offensive coordinator for two seasons with the Miami Hu ... More >>
News
November 25, 2010
Emily Newton: Fins Femme
With Dan Henning out, the Dolphins' next order of off-season business is securing a new offensive coordinator. One of the names apparently on the shortlist is Rob Chudzinski, who should be no stranger to local sporting fans. He served as the offensive coordinator for two seasons with the Miami Hu ... More >>
Calendar
November 25, 2010
Tuna Melt
With Dan Henning out, the Dolphins' next order of off-season business is securing a new offensive coordinator. One of the names apparently on the shortlist is Rob Chudzinski, who should be no stranger to local sporting fans. He served as the offensive coordinator for two seasons with the Miami Hu ... More >>
Blogs
November 19, 2010
Dolphins Pummeled, Shutout by Bears
On a night where the NFL Network previewed an upcoming documentary on Bill Parcells and his football genius, the Dolphins team he built was busy rushing for 39 total-yards and throwing for 187 on their way to their first shutout loss in three seasons. The Dolphins were manhandled and dominated in ... More >>
Blogs
November 9, 2010
LeBron James Would Rather Watch Kenny Powers Than His Dallas Cowboys
For reasons that probably make more sense than they should LeBron James' favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys. He's a diehard, apparently. Thing is the Cowboys suck something fierce this season, to the point that they just fired their coach. In fact, James can't even watch them anymore. H ... More >>
Blogs
October 20, 2010
Dolphins' Fan Base Ranked 19th for Enthusiasm, But They Do Know How to Party
viaInsane Dolphan PosseJust because we'd rather sit on the beach listening to the Dolphins game on the radio or checking the score on our iPhone doesn't mean we aren't real Fins fans, right? OK, the Miami sports fan stereotype of a bandwagoner who'd rather spend their Sunday afternoon watching th ... More >>
Blogs
October 12, 2010
The Miami Dolphins Hit All-Time Low in Popularity According to Poll
The Miami Dolphins are the 21st most popular NFL team this year, or if you want to be more negative about it they're the 12th least popular. That's the lowest point the Dolphins have ever found themselves in the ratings since Harris Interactive began keeping track of such things in 1998. The good ne ... More >>
Blogs
September 7, 2010
Jeff Ireland Assumes Control of Dolphins from Bill Parcells
It's not quite "retirement" number four for the Big Tuna, but Bill Parcells took one step out the door of the Miami Dolphins' front office today. The team announced that the now-former VP of football will step down to a consultant position, while general manager Jeff Ireland will take total contr ... More >>
Blogs
September 3, 2010
Canes Dominate, Dolphins Not So Much
If Florida A&M's goal was to come out and get completely annihilated in the most humbling way imaginable, then mission accomplished because The U came out and crushed the Rattlers 45-0 last night. The defense recorded eight sacks, Jacory Harris tossed three touchdowns, Leonard Hankerson caugh ... More >>
Blogs
August 12, 2010
Dolphins Rank Near Bottom of "Most Successful" NFL Franchises for 2009
via KillustrationsSad dolphins. What makes an NFL team successful? For the coach, players and fans it means winning games. For the owner and front office it also means making lots of money. According to a new analysis from Portfolio.com, your Miami Dolphins ranked near the bottom in both&nbs ... More >>
Blogs
July 23, 2010
Dolphins Defensive Lineman Phillip Merling Is Out for the Season
Miami Dolphins defensive end Phillip Merling's off-season of misfortunes has gone from bad to worse. Merling was arrested in May for punching his pregnant girlfriend, and just this week he was formally charged with felony battery for the incident. Now comes news that Merling suffered an ... More >>
Blogs
June 30, 2010
Super Bowl Host Curse: Is There Good News To Losing Out on Big Game Hosting Duties?
If we were conspiracy theorists we'd have some half-formed theory that whenever Miami played host city to the Super Bowl there is some secret plan to make sure the Dolphins don't make it to the big game. It would ensure that other team's fan bases travel down in droves with all their out-of-town ... More >>
Blogs
May 20, 2010
Zach Thomas to Sign With the Dolphins Again Just to Immediately Retire
Good news, Dolphans! Zach Thomas, who spent 12 years with the Dolphins and racked up seven Pro Bowl appearances, is going to re-sign with the team! Then he will immediately retire.According to the AP, this afternoon Thomas will sign a ceremonial contract and then announce his retirement as a member ... More >>
Blogs
March 30, 2010
More Gerald Posner Plagiarism in Miami Babylon, From New Times, PBS, and Many Others
Back on March 16, Riptide broke the news that South Beach-based author Gerald Posner's latest book, Miami Babylon, had stolen eight passages from Frank Owen's 2003 work Clubland. photo by Bill Cooke New Times and a doctoral student have found more than a dozen new instances of plagi ... More >>
Blogs
July 2, 2009
Miami Doesn't Care About Sports, Maybe Because Our Teams Suck
Men's Health has stuck us with another label: the least sports obsessed city. The mag took into account number of ticket sales and attendance on the pro, college and high school level for baseball, basketball football, and NASCAR as well as memorabilia sales. Miami came in dead last. ... More >>
Blogs
May 5, 2009
Jessica Simpson Gets Vanity Fair Cover For Being Sorta Fat Looking in Broward
So let's see. Jessica Simpson's last album was a critical and commercial flop. Her last two movies ended up in straight-to-DVD hell, and unless you're a vengeful Dallas Cowboys fan she really hasn't been relevant since at least 2006. So why, oh, why is she on the cover of Vanity Fair, one of the bet ... More >>
Blogs
March 21, 2008
2008 Dolphins Mock Draft
So let's see. Jessica Simpson's last album was a critical and commercial flop. Her last two movies ended up in straight-to-DVD hell, and unless you're a vengeful Dallas Cowboys fan she really hasn't been relevant since at least 2006. So why, oh, why is she on the cover of Vanity Fair, one of the bet ... More >>
Blogs
February 25, 2008
Combine Talk: Jerry's Got a Hankerin!
So let's see. Jessica Simpson's last album was a critical and commercial flop. Her last two movies ended up in straight-to-DVD hell, and unless you're a vengeful Dallas Cowboys fan she really hasn't been relevant since at least 2006. So why, oh, why is she on the cover of Vanity Fair, one of the bet ... More >>
Blogs
February 21, 2008
Keyshawn a Dolphin? Uh... How 'Bout No
So let's see. Jessica Simpson's last album was a critical and commercial flop. Her last two movies ended up in straight-to-DVD hell, and unless you're a vengeful Dallas Cowboys fan she really hasn't been relevant since at least 2006. So why, oh, why is she on the cover of Vanity Fair, one of the bet ... More >>
Blogs
January 23, 2008
Bowles To Be the New Defensive Coordinator?
So let's see. Jessica Simpson's last album was a critical and commercial flop. Her last two movies ended up in straight-to-DVD hell, and unless you're a vengeful Dallas Cowboys fan she really hasn't been relevant since at least 2006. So why, oh, why is she on the cover of Vanity Fair, one of the bet ... More >>
Blogs
January 15, 2008
Dolphins Coaching Search is a "Four-Horse Race"
So let's see. Jessica Simpson's last album was a critical and commercial flop. Her last two movies ended up in straight-to-DVD hell, and unless you're a vengeful Dallas Cowboys fan she really hasn't been relevant since at least 2006. So why, oh, why is she on the cover of Vanity Fair, one of the bet ... More >>
Blogs
January 11, 2008
Dolphins to Interview Schwartz
So let's see. Jessica Simpson's last album was a critical and commercial flop. Her last two movies ended up in straight-to-DVD hell, and unless you're a vengeful Dallas Cowboys fan she really hasn't been relevant since at least 2006. So why, oh, why is she on the cover of Vanity Fair, one of the bet ... More >>
Blogs
January 10, 2008
Shocking News Break: Brian Gaine Quits Cowboys
So let's see. Jessica Simpson's last album was a critical and commercial flop. Her last two movies ended up in straight-to-DVD hell, and unless you're a vengeful Dallas Cowboys fan she really hasn't been relevant since at least 2006. So why, oh, why is she on the cover of Vanity Fair, one of the bet ... More >>
Blogs
January 8, 2008
Clever Headline: Parcells Looks to "Gaine" a Top Dallas Scout
So let's see. Jessica Simpson's last album was a critical and commercial flop. Her last two movies ended up in straight-to-DVD hell, and unless you're a vengeful Dallas Cowboys fan she really hasn't been relevant since at least 2006. So why, oh, why is she on the cover of Vanity Fair, one of the bet ... More >>
Blogs
January 7, 2008
Source: Dolphins Intrigued by Matt Ryan
So let's see. Jessica Simpson's last album was a critical and commercial flop. Her last two movies ended up in straight-to-DVD hell, and unless you're a vengeful Dallas Cowboys fan she really hasn't been relevant since at least 2006. So why, oh, why is she on the cover of Vanity Fair, one of the bet ... More >>
Blogs
January 2, 2008
Meet the New Nerdy White Dude, Same as the Old Nerdy White Dude
So let's see. Jessica Simpson's last album was a critical and commercial flop. Her last two movies ended up in straight-to-DVD hell, and unless you're a vengeful Dallas Cowboys fan she really hasn't been relevant since at least 2006. So why, oh, why is she on the cover of Vanity Fair, one of the bet ... More >>
Calendar
November 22, 2007
Riled
Heat coach wants to suit up? What if...?
Calendar
September 13, 2007
It’s Not Even Monday Night Yet
Heat coach wants to suit up? What if...?
Film
August 31, 2006
Training Day
Feel-good football tale scores with charm and sincerity
Dining
May 4, 2006
Flapjack Flip-Off VI
A quintet of unwitting participants grapple for the Holy Grail of griddlecakes: the Mrs. Beeton Flapjack Flip-Off Trophy
More >>

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