Dallas Cowboys

Miami's Best Youth Football Team Beats Violence, Gambling, Turmoil, and Opponents

Jets Might Hire Dolphins Assistant GM Brian Gaine as Their New GM, Which Should Work Out Well For Them

If there was one silver lining to the NFL season for Dolphins fans this year, it was the fact that while our team might have been mediocre at best, at least we weren't the laughing stock the New York Jets became this year.They've fired their General Manager Mike Tannenbaum, and sort of surprisingly ... More >>

Dolphins Fall to Cowboys 30-13 To End Preseason Winless, Then Crash The Team Plane

In what is typically the most uninteresting and uneventful of all preseason games, the Dolphins conducted business-as-usual by falling to the Dallas Cowboys 30-13 last night, completing the 2012 preseason with only their third winless effort in franchise history.The Fins followed up in the most appr ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Trade CB Vontae Davis, Continue Ignoring Need for Talent

The Miami Dolphins have traded former first-round pick Vontae Davis to the Indianapolis Colts for a 2013 second-rounder as well as a conditional late-round pick. Obviously, this is a move that makes sense on several fronts given the Midas-like wealth of talent the Dolphins possess at virtually every ... More >>

Yep, Manning Only Talked to Dolphins as a Favor to Marino

​How pathetic are the Dolphins' front office? They couldn't even secure a meeting with Peyton Manning on their own and had to enlist the help of Dan Marino. Yep, despite not having played for the 'Fins for 13 years and not having any official affiliation with the team, Marino continues to be just ... More >>

ESPN's Skip Bayless is the king race-baiter

Skip Bayless is a Modern Day Minstrel

​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke crowns ESPN talking head Skip Bayless the king of race baiting.I've got to hand it to Skip Bayless for articulating so we ... More >>

Five Freaky Republican Presidential Candidates' Doppelgängers

​The nationwide comedy tour known as the Republican presidential race is in Florida this week. Over several months, rich candidates have perfected the game of politics in their quest for the Republican Party's nomination and the chance to go up against President Barack Obama in November. Pr ... More >>

Dez Bryant Denies He Has a Problem with Lil Wayne, Sort Of

​So we know that Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant was in some sort of altercation outside LIV nightclub at the Fontainebleau on Saturday, and that's, well, about it. Rumors, aided by a Miami Herald reporter, suggested that the altercation somehow involved Lil Wayne. Though, this morning Bry ... More >>

Dolphins Pummeled By Eagles, Still Need A Quarterback, Possibly a New Coach Too

​The Philadelphia Eagles helped head coach Andy Reid win the Mustachioed Overweight Coach Who Has Overstayed His Welcome Bowl when they blew away the Dolphins 26-10 yesterday. The Dolphins have ensured themselves their third straight losing season, falling to 4-9, and remain dead-last in the AFC E ... More >>

Igor Olshansky Arrested on Pot Charges a Day After Being Released from Dolphins

​Former Miami Dolphins defensive end Igor Olshansky was having a bad week. A calf injury forced him to miss the Thanksgiving Day game against the Cowboys, and the team rewarded him by releasing him on Wednesday. All the dude wanted to do was get a little high after a tough work week, but the ... More >>

Dolphins Lose On Thanksgiving Day

Your Miami Dolphins played in yesterday's Thanksgiving Day game against the Dallas Cowboys and lost, ending their three-game winning streak and putting their playoff hopes on life support with someone standing by ready to smother it with a pillow. The Dolphins defense did what it could, intercepting ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Are the 13th Most Popular NFL Team, Highest Ranking in Years

Despite the weekly disaster show on the field, the Miami Dolphins are at their highest level of popularity in years. That's according to a Harris Interactive poll that ranks the 32 NFL teams from America's most favorite to least. The Dolphins are America's 13th favorite team. Unlucky number as ... More >>

Dolphins Fall To 0-4: It's Suck For Luck Time!

​The Miami Dolphins did that thing again where they play like their scrotums are stapled to their thighs, this time losing 26-16 to the San Diego Chargers. In the process, they lost Chad Henne to a shoulder injury, forcing backup Matt Moore to step in and do exactly what Henne's been doing: namely ... More >>

Once Undefeated

Student athletes suffer the stings of concussions while lawmakers fail to help

Skyboxx, Magazine Devoted to Miami Heat, Fails Miserably

​The story of the circus surrounding the Miami Heat was as much about the media as it was about actual basketball. ESPN gave LeBron James an entire hour to announce his "decision," and then devoted an entire section to his team. Esquire launched an entire blog about James. Every pageview-hungry sp ... More >>

Letters from the issue of May 12, 2011

NFL players should form their own teams

NFL Players Should Send The Greedy Owners To Hell

​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times.This week, Luke advises professional football players to form their own league.When Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson likened ... More >>

Five Super Bowl Halftime Moments That Totally Sucked

Steven Tyler and Britney Spears ... That totally sucked.​We know you're gearing up for the big game this Sunday. Maybe you're actually washing your Ben Rapistburger jersey for the first time all season, or polishing your cherished wedge of cheesehead. Whatever you're doing, you're getting pumped ... More >>

Dolphins to Interview Former Canes Offensive Coordinator Rob Chudzinski

​With Dan Henning out, the Dolphins' next order of off-season business is securing a new offensive coordinator. One of the names apparently on the shortlist is Rob Chudzinski, who should be no stranger to local sporting fans. He served as the offensive coordinator for two seasons with the Miami Hu ... More >>

Emily Newton: Fins Femme

Tuna Melt

Dolphins Pummeled, Shutout by Bears

​On a night where the NFL Network previewed an upcoming documentary on Bill Parcells and his football genius, the Dolphins team he built was busy rushing for 39 total-yards and throwing for 187 on their way to their first shutout loss in three seasons. The Dolphins were manhandled and dominated in ... More >>

LeBron James Would Rather Watch Kenny Powers Than His Dallas Cowboys

​For reasons that probably make more sense than they should LeBron James' favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys. He's a diehard, apparently. Thing is the Cowboys suck something fierce this season, to the point that they just fired their coach. In fact, James can't even watch them anymore. H ... More >>

Dolphins' Fan Base Ranked 19th for Enthusiasm, But They Do Know How to Party

viaInsane Dolphan Posse​Just because we'd rather sit on the beach listening to the Dolphins game on the radio or checking the score on our iPhone doesn't mean we aren't real Fins fans, right? OK, the Miami sports fan stereotype of a bandwagoner who'd rather spend their Sunday afternoon watching th ... More >>

The Miami Dolphins Hit All-Time Low in Popularity According to Poll

The Miami Dolphins are the 21st most popular NFL team this year, or if you want to be more negative about it they're the 12th least popular. That's the lowest point the Dolphins have ever found themselves in the ratings since Harris Interactive began keeping track of such things in 1998. The good ne ... More >>

Canes Dominate, Dolphins Not So Much

​If Florida A&M's goal was to come out and get completely annihilated in the most humbling way imaginable, then mission accomplished because The U came out and crushed the Rattlers 45-0 last night. The defense recorded eight sacks, Jacory Harris tossed three touchdowns, Leonard Hankerson caugh ... More >>

Dolphins Rank Near Bottom of "Most Successful" NFL Franchises for 2009

via KillustrationsSad dolphins. ​What makes an NFL team successful? For the coach, players and fans it means winning games. For the owner and front office it also means making lots of money. According to a new analysis from Portfolio.com, your Miami Dolphins ranked near the bottom in both&nbs ... More >>

Dolphins Defensive Lineman Phillip Merling Is Out for the Season

​Miami Dolphins defensive end Phillip Merling's off-season of misfortunes has gone from bad to worse. Merling was arrested in May for punching his pregnant girlfriend, and just this week he was formally charged with felony battery for the incident. Now comes news that Merling suffered an ... More >>

Super Bowl Host Curse: Is There Good News To Losing Out on Big Game Hosting Duties?

​If we were conspiracy theorists we'd have some half-formed theory that whenever Miami played host city to the Super Bowl there is some secret plan to make sure the Dolphins don't make it to the big game. It would ensure that other team's fan bases travel down in droves with all their out-of-town ... More >>

Zach Thomas to Sign With the Dolphins Again Just to Immediately Retire

Good news, Dolphans! Zach Thomas, who spent 12 years with the Dolphins and racked up seven Pro Bowl appearances, is going to re-sign with the team! Then he will immediately retire.According to the AP, this afternoon Thomas will sign a ceremonial contract and then announce his retirement as a member ... More >>

More Gerald Posner Plagiarism in Miami Babylon, From New Times, PBS, and Many Others

Back on March 16, Riptide broke the news that South Beach-based author Gerald Posner's latest book, Miami Babylon, had stolen eight passages from Frank Owen's 2003 work Clubland. photo by Bill Cooke New Times and a doctoral student have found more than a dozen new instances of plagi ... More >>

Miami Doesn't Care About Sports, Maybe Because Our Teams Suck

Men's Health has stuck us with another label: the least sports obsessed city. The mag took into account number of ticket sales and attendance on the pro, college and high school level for baseball, basketball football, and NASCAR as well as memorabilia sales. Miami came in dead last. ... More >>

Jessica Simpson Gets Vanity Fair Cover For Being Sorta Fat Looking in Broward

So let's see. Jessica Simpson's last album was a critical and commercial flop. Her last two movies ended up in straight-to-DVD hell, and unless you're a vengeful Dallas Cowboys fan she really hasn't been relevant since at least 2006. So why, oh, why is she on the cover of Vanity Fair, one of the bet ... More >>

Combine Talk: Jerry's Got a Hankerin!

Keyshawn a Dolphin? Uh... How 'Bout No

Bowles To Be the New Defensive Coordinator?

Dolphins Coaching Search is a "Four-Horse Race"

Dolphins to Interview Schwartz

Shocking News Break: Brian Gaine Quits Cowboys

Clever Headline: Parcells Looks to "Gaine" a Top Dallas Scout

Source: Dolphins Intrigued by Matt Ryan

Meet the New Nerdy White Dude, Same as the Old Nerdy White Dude

Riled

Heat coach wants to suit up? What if...?

It’s Not Even Monday Night Yet

Training Day

Feel-good football tale scores with charm and sincerity

Flapjack Flip-Off VI

A quintet of unwitting participants grapple for the Holy Grail of griddlecakes: the Mrs. Beeton Flapjack Flip-Off Trophy