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Program Notes

WMC 2009: Rum and Coke with a Squeeze of Drop the Lime at Bacardi B-Live Press Party

Michelle SolomonA-Trak spinning at Bacardi B-Live.If you were one of the 300 "regular" folks, or the 150 or so "press" types who got invited to the Bacardi B-Live Press Pool Party on Tuesday night, say a hefty thank-you prayer to the God of Groove.Inside the basement Japanese restaurant, Fountainble ... More >>

Head Spins: DJ Cee Pee

Kicking the soundtrack for America's Backyard.

Budget Ballin'

To hell with the economy! South Florida's lawless exotic rental car industry keeps rolling.

Sign of Sleaze

While commissioners dither, advertisers get away with (visual) murder

Kirk Franklin

While commissioners dither, advertisers get away with (visual) murder

Crazy Delicious

The festival disappoints slightly, MIAMIntelligence tanks, Aquabooty continues to rock

Letters

The festival disappoints slightly, MIAMIntelligence tanks, Aquabooty continues to rock

News of the Weird

The festival disappoints slightly, MIAMIntelligence tanks, Aquabooty continues to rock

The Resurrection of Robert Tilton

Dogged by grabby ex-wives and financial scandals, a Texas prophet-for-profit brings his TV act to Miami Beach

Musical Missionary Label's Debut Record Release Tomorrow

​Musical Missionary has played various roles in fostering Miami's underground dance music scene in recent years, from artist bookings and party promotions, to philanthropy through the "Dance for a Cause" parties in 2009 and the more recent "Sunday School for the Generous" DJ marathon at Electric P ... More >>

Around the Voice: Actor Donald Glover Can Rhyme Better Than Joel McHale

Donald Glover's flow is serious, so stop laughing at his jokes​Every week, we gather some interesting stuff from our sister Village Voice Media publications' music sections. Just for kicks. Here's last week's entry.An in-depth look back at N.W.A. frontman Eazy E resides in Phoenix New Times.SF ... More >>

Miami Men Don't Measure Up in Penis Size Rankings

via BBJ​The flashy cars, the speedboats, the trendy clothes, the bling-bling. Yeah, maybe dudes in Miami are trying to compensate for something.Online love glove store Condomania sells rubbers in 76 sizes that keep you covered no matter if you're packing a plantain or a beer can. The product has b ... More >>

Coming to Amerykah

via BBJ​The flashy cars, the speedboats, the trendy clothes, the bling-bling. Yeah, maybe dudes in Miami are trying to compensate for something.Online love glove store Condomania sells rubbers in 76 sizes that keep you covered no matter if you're packing a plantain or a beer can. The product has b ... More >>

Tonight: The Rocket Summer, New City Lions and Easton at Culture Room

Photo by Jered ScottThe Rocket Summer has better hair than you do​Best to show up early at Culture Room in Fort Lauderdale tonight to catch two local acts prior to Dallas/Fort Worth product the Rocket Summer's headlining set. Aside from the fact that a gaggle of fans will already be settled in to ... More >>

Zach Thomas to Sign With the Dolphins Again Just to Immediately Retire

Good news, Dolphans! Zach Thomas, who spent 12 years with the Dolphins and racked up seven Pro Bowl appearances, is going to re-sign with the team! Then he will immediately retire.According to the AP, this afternoon Thomas will sign a ceremonial contract and then announce his retirement as a member ... More >>

A Costa Rica Land Grab Smells Like a $50 Million Ponzi Scheme

Photo from Paragon's website, paracr.com.How come Bill Gale didn't want to talk to a New Times reporter?In 2005, Dallas resident Richard Silverman returned from vacation in Costa Rica convinced the Central American paradise was a perfect spot for a second home. So after searching online, Silverman ... More >>

South Florida-based Ponzi scheme dupes investors out of Costa Rican real estate

Photo from Paragon's website, paracr.com.How come Bill Gale didn't want to talk to a New Times reporter?In 2005, Dallas resident Richard Silverman returned from vacation in Costa Rica convinced the Central American paradise was a perfect spot for a second home. So after searching online, Silverman ... More >>

Infamous Internet hooker-rapper Memphis Blac explains "Got Dat Work" video

Photo from Paragon's website, paracr.com.How come Bill Gale didn't want to talk to a New Times reporter?In 2005, Dallas resident Richard Silverman returned from vacation in Costa Rica convinced the Central American paradise was a perfect spot for a second home. So after searching online, Silverman ... More >>

Miami Central Tackles Dallas Madison in Florida-Texas Football Showdown

Michael MillerRunning back Devonta Freeman looks to run wild after a 43-yard performance last week​The last time Riptide had the footballs to run a preview of a Miami Central game, the Rockets lost on the last play of the game to a burly Camden County team that -- by the looks of it that night -- ... More >>

Well, Duh: Miami Has Fourth Worst Commute in America

​There are certain things that studies and data analysis don't really need to tell us, like, for example, that the commute-time traffic in Miami is pretty horrible. Yet, whenever these scientist or mathematicians or data-obsessed journalists tell us something we already know, and perhaps rank it, ... More >>

What would immigration reform look like if the Feds got off their duffs?

​There are certain things that studies and data analysis don't really need to tell us, like, for example, that the commute-time traffic in Miami is pretty horrible. Yet, whenever these scientist or mathematicians or data-obsessed journalists tell us something we already know, and perhaps rank it, ... More >>

Truth Is in the Detail

​There are certain things that studies and data analysis don't really need to tell us, like, for example, that the commute-time traffic in Miami is pretty horrible. Yet, whenever these scientist or mathematicians or data-obsessed journalists tell us something we already know, and perhaps rank it, ... More >>

Invasion of the Cleavage

Sorry, but 100,000 hookers -- including tens of thousands of teens -- won't be showing for the Super Bowl this week. They send their regrets.

Lil Wayne Announces I Am Music II North American Tour With Nicki Minaj and Rick Ross

Photo by DJ Scoob Doo via weezythanxyou.comLil Wayne's hitting the highways with Nicky Minaj and Rick Ross.​Ever since he made the break from Rikers back in November, we've been so hyped about Lil Wayne's inevitable trip across these United States that we could barely sleep. Or shit. Our goggles ... More >>

Miami is One of the Angriest Cities in America

You wouldn't like us when we're angry. ​Nothing pisses us off more than these statisically-flawed, silly little city rankings lists. Just in the past few weeks we've learned that Miami is one of America's most rude, vain, and miserable cities. Fittingly, Men's Health now tells us that when it come ... More >>

Super Bowling for Dollars

The great American game is another chance to foist false research on a gullible media.

Wall of Shame

CNN, USA Today, and other media organizations got fooled.

Lil Twist as part of Lil Wayne's I Am Still Music Tour at BankAtlantic Center April 5

CNN, USA Today, and other media organizations got fooled.

Calle 13 Announces First 11 Shows for Entren los Que Quieran U.S. Tour With Miami Gig May 27

Calle 13's Residente and Visitante go guerrilla again.​With ten Latin Grammys and even a pair of standard gold-plated gramophophone statuettes stashed in the safe, it's been a solid minute since Calle 13's Residente and Visitante could be legitimately called underground guerilla rappers. The ... More >>

Calle 13 Cancels May 27 Show in Miami

​Almost a month ago, we received word that Puerto Rican tag team Calle 13 was planning a Miami show on May 27 as part of its initial 11-city Entren los Que Quieran US tour. At the time, there was no venue. And details were sketchy. But still, we got all riled up and started ranting wildly about ... More >>

Chris Bosh Bogged Down by Junk Food, Still Makes Game 3 Winner

Keith AllisonBosh detoxing.​Somebody asked Miami Heat forward Chris Bosh in Dallas if he was getting any home cooked meals, and this was his answer, "I was like, 'Absolutely not.' I want to eat all garbage, junk food and room service just to get that road feel."The Chicago Tribune, surely trying t ... More >>

Rick Scott wants to drug-test his brother

Keith AllisonBosh detoxing.​Somebody asked Miami Heat forward Chris Bosh in Dallas if he was getting any home cooked meals, and this was his answer, "I was like, 'Absolutely not.' I want to eat all garbage, junk food and room service just to get that road feel."The Chicago Tribune, surely trying t ... More >>

The Rapture's U.S. Tour Stops at Grand Central October 17

​When we last saw the Rapture, it was at Nocturnal, of all places, alongside the Miami Heat's DJ Irie and electro icon Felix Da Housecat. Odd lineup? Definitely. It was one of those liquor-sponsored events that took over the 11th Street nightclub on a weekday for the sole purpose of creating "br ... More >>

Jay-Z and Kanye Announce The Throne Tour Stop in Miami November 15

​There's no doubt that Jay-Z -- even as hip-hop's retired-unretired elder statesman -- still balls like the best of 'em. Just last night Hova was makin' it rain at the Fountainebleau's LIV in Miami Beach, dropping more $100,000 on a single bottle of champagne in celebration of the release of his n ... More >>

Haven is Kitchen Heaven to Chef Todd Erickson

Haven Gastro-Lounge​When Haven's executive chef, Todd Erickson, came to South Beach for the first time back in January of 2010, he had no idea that he would fall in love with it. In fact, he was a little hesitant about the idea of moving to Miami. "I had never been down here. I'd been to northern ... More >>

Rick Perry: Awful politician, genius campaigner

Haven Gastro-Lounge​When Haven's executive chef, Todd Erickson, came to South Beach for the first time back in January of 2010, he had no idea that he would fall in love with it. In fact, he was a little hesitant about the idea of moving to Miami. "I had never been down here. I'd been to northern ... More >>

Lost Boys: New child-sex-trafficking research demolishes the stereotype of the underage sex worker

And sparks an outbreak of denial among child-sex-trafficking alarmists nationwide.

Todd Erickson: Digital Chef

And sparks an outbreak of denial among child-sex-trafficking alarmists nationwide.

Red Hot Chili Peppers Announce Full 2012 US Tour Dates With SoFla Show on January 20

​There was a time, circa 1991, when being a funky white boy meant doing whacked-out jumping jacks to the beat of "Suck My Kiss" while wearing a sock on your cock. But these days, the Red Hot Chili Peppers are grown-ass funky white men. The band's founding twosome, frontman-slash-resident hunk An ... More >>

DJ Three Waxes Poetic About Ten Dance-Floor Weapons

​You'd be hard-pressed to find a more encyclopedic guru of house and techno than Chistopher Milo AKA DJ Three. And it's no surprise, given he's one of the most highly regarded tastemakers on the underground American EDM scene. The Florida native has been commanding dancefloors since the early '90 ... More >>

Aventura's Romeo Santos Announces 2012 Solo Tour With Miami Show on March 1

​Over the last 17 years, Romeo Santos and bachata boy band Aventura have won the overflowing adoration of prepubescent girls, their mothers, and 35-year-old guys in white pants who love to dance. In the process, Santos and sidekicks scored a surplus of American Music Awards, Premio Lo Nuestro sta ... More >>

Lenny Kravitz Announces First US Tour in Five Years, (Funk) Rocks Miami Beach February 25

​Christmas came early indeed. According to a press release sent moments ago to Crossfade, Lenny Kravitz "is pleased to announce dates for his first American tour in five years!" Best of all, dude's got a gig in the Big Mango. The "nearly 20-city tour" kicks off at New York City's Radio City Mu ... More >>

Red Hot Chili Peppers Postpone 2012 US Tour, Reschedule South Florida Gig

​Being the frontman of one of the biggest bands on the planet can be a real pain in the sesamoid bone and flexor tendon. Just ask Red Hot Chili Peppers' Anthony Kiedis. The porn 'stachioed rocker recently underwent surgery to treat a bum foot, the result of "multiple" injuries. And regrettably, ... More >>

Jacuzzi Boys Headed to Europe for 26-City Tour

​Admittedly, we were nervous about Jacuzzi Boys' upcoming European tour. But we quickly changed our tone when Hardly Art assured us it'd be a land-based trek. Phew, what a relief. European tours can be a real bummer. Shitty guides recklessly leading you into dangerously shallow waters, shoddy sa ... More >>

Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder Announces Solo U.S. Tour With South Florida Concert on May 13

​Holy nostalgia, it's 1991 all over again! Pearl Jam's de facto captain, legendary singer-songwriter, and uke-man extraordinaire Eddie Vedder is bringing his one-man show to the Broward Center for the Performing Arts on Sunday, May 13. Announced earlier today, the grunge rock godfather's solo ... More >>

Madonna Announces 2012 World Tour With Miami Concert

​For every fat, drunk American football fan who couldn't even sit (or, uh, dance) through Madonna's 12-minute Super Bowl XLVI halftime bonanza, there are millions of giddy pop music fans in party towns like Istanbul, Zagreb, Warsaw, Kansas City, and St. Paul who'd be totally willing to blow their ... More >>