Christmas

Miami's Most Haunting Mysteries: Despite DNA Technology, Some John Does Defy Identification

In this week's metro, we describe how advances in DNA technology have allowed Miami-Dade medical investigators to solve at least 16 cold cases in the past couple of years. The murder of one woman, whose body parts were found all over town, haunted cops and coroners alike for nearly 30 years before g ... More >>

Chicago at Hard Rock Live April 4

Other Desert Cities at Actors' Playhouse: Ideology Trumps Family

Throw the Milk and Cookies Out: What Santa Really Wants For Christmas

Ever wondered where the tradition of leaving milk and cookies for Santa comes from? Probably not, but out of mystical curiosity we searched and found that the theory dates back to Western Germany and was formed as part of a medieval custom. A "paradise" tree was decorated with apples, wafers, and/o ... More >>

Five Winter Beers For Your Christmas Feast

As if there weren't already enough reasons to look forward to the holidays (vacation time; copious amounts of food; presents) - seasonal beers add an extra bit of holiday cheer. (In part thanks to a healthy buzz they inspire, but we digress.) Since we're such huge beer lovers here at Short Order (d ... More >>

Free Santa's Enchanted Forest Pass from Pollo Tropical

There is nothing that says "Christmas in Miami" like Santa's Enchanted Forest. Look, with the weather a cool, crisp 80 degrees, why not celebrate with a month-long carnival that features dioramas depicting Santa with space aliens and carnys hawking giant Spongebob Squarepants for the winning?Read al ... More >>

Robin Thicke Talks Double-Digit Orgasms, Baby-Making Music, and NYE in Miami

​The real reason for kissing at midnight on New Years Eve? Whether you're single, married, divorced, or your outlook on monogamy is much like Tiger Woods', everyone is trying to get some. And if anyone is going to help you get laid, it's Robin Thicke. So if you are looking to keep it sexy this ... More >>

Don't Let the Holidays Kill You: Eat Slow, Control Your Portions, Live Another Year

​The chain of holidays at the end of the year is good of an excuse as any to party up and overindulge, which also means you can plan to bring on the weight gain!Not so fast. Between the cookies, candy canes, pastries, egg nog and Yorkshire pudding, there's no question that holiday foods aren't the ... More >>

Ten Best Music-Related Things to Do This Weekend Under $10

Get drunk with Punk Santa this Christmas weekend.​What'd your Christmas list look like this year? We asked Santa for web hits, a pay raise, and a three-and-a-half foot masseuse on 24-hour standby. Wishful thinking indeed! But a blog can dream, can't it? Quite frankly, we're tired of ballin' ... More >>

Short Order Investigates: Could You Actually Cook With Pepper Spray?

​Last Thanksgiving you might have seen the Tonight Show parody of Martha Stewart donning a face shield then spraying a turkey with what appears to be a canister of pepper spray.Despite the fact that the video appears to be fake -- and despite Fox News' Megyn Kelly's claims that Occupy protesters s ... More >>

Eat Out on Christmas in Miami, Part Two

Kyle TaylorDoes your XMas plate usually look like this? It may be best to go out to dinner this year.​We gave you an early round-up of where to experience the true holiday cheer of a meal made easy (meaning, by someone else), so now we present the second installation of those restaurants trying to ... More >>

Johnny Depp's New Song Slaps Christianity in the Face; Will He Burn in Hell?

Arnold Wells, Flickr​Less than 20 days from now, Jesus Christ will turn the big 2-0-1-2, though he doesn't look a day over 33. Around the world, Christians will celebrate his birth with an appalling display of hyper-consumerism and overconsumption. And of course, crappy Christmas music. Howeve ... More >>

Mac'n Food Truck's Pumpkin Whoopie Pies, Perfect for Thanksgiving

Harold and Kumar Munchies Truck Coming to Miami; Food Trucks Tonight UPDATED

Harold and Kumar via FacebookHarold and Kumar's Munchies truck is coming to Miami​White Castle obsessed Harold and Kumar are celebrating the pre-release of their new movie, A Very Harold & Kumar 3-D Christmas by rolling out to college campuses in their very own munchie truck.The truck is set t ... More >>

Jorge Moreno Talks Winning the International Songwriting Competition and His Split Personality

​Jorge Moreno's "Thank You" is a gently unfolding, deceptive pop-rock paean to life's simple pleasures. Its earworm tendencies come on slowly. The more you play the track, the more it reveals new flourishes -- a roots-rock guitar lick here, a Beatles-esque wall of backing voices there. It also ... More >>

"The Fabulous Bunny Yeager" at Harold Golen Gallery

Deadbeat Kevin Burns Should Just Shut Up Already

Just say no to Kevin Burns.​We've been seeing a lot of former North Miami mayor Kevin Burns in the news lately. Last week, he appeared on a WPLG news segment complaining about parking meters in downtown Miami. Burns told the reporter that he had been gypped out of $7 because he didn't realize he h ... More >>

ArtOfficial's "Too Nasty" Off the Upcoming Fist Fights and Footraces

​If you consider most of the crap on Y100 to be hip-hop, we wouldn't expect you to understand. But ArtOfficial is the straight-up shiznit. As Miami's answer to the Roots, this six-member band's been thrilling local fans and crowds abroad for the past few years, rocking venues with some of MIA's s ... More >>

Five Latin albums that might ruin Christmas

Burlesquing the Mistletoe

Christmas Trees Wrecked Kevin Burns' Holiday Spirit

​Kevin Burns won't be having a Merry Christmas this year. In this week's print edition of Miami New Times (which is available online later today), we chronicle how the former North Miami mayor's 34-year-old business selling Christmas trees is no ho-ho-ho fun.Banana Republican interviewed several p ... More >>

Go Celebrate the Season With the Recording Academy's Florida Chapter Tonight at MIA

​Ah, the holidays ... Whether you celebrate Christmas or Kwanzaa, Hanukkah or a Festivus for the rest of us, the season represents the same stuff: peace on earth, good will towards your fellow man, and totally crazy parties. Lots and lots of them. Case in point: The Recording Academy's Florida C ... More >>

Top Five Worst Edible Stocking Stuffers

ariesmale1978 via FlickrA case of ashy, 100-year old chocolate.​According to tradition, bad kids receive coal in their Christmas stocking. But what's worse? How about these five items?NutsNo message from Santa quite communicates that you're a lousy lad better than a bag of nuts: almonds, walnuts, ... More >>

Jesus Candy Canes, Bacon Candy Canes, And More Xmas Weirdness

thelotusblog.com​Whether you actually like sucking on them or you prefer to dangle them on the tree, the red and white candy canes seem to put you into the Christmas spirit.And then there are the flavored candy canes. Is there really a reason we need to have blueberry flavored candy canes? Not on ... More >>

Back in Bach

Hooters' Gift Cards: The Gift that keeps on Giving

Two guys share the Christmas spirit.via Flickr eric molina​In their infinite wisdom, Hooters executives have come up with a way to reward customers who exhibit a generous spirit this season. No, silly, big tips will not produce a lap dance--Hooters is still a restaurant, after all. But starting th ... More >>

Dysfunction, Doughboys, and Death

An Old Friend Returns to SoBe

Christmas in Miami, Fields of Papaya Trees Bear Fruit In The Redlands

Side of road, Quail Roost Drive​ Happy Holidays from Miami-Dade County. Check out our Christmas tree. Down south in the Redland, fields of papaya trees are bearing fruit. We shot this picture yesterday on the side of Quail Roost Drive.Papaya, or La Fruta Bomba, as it is sometimes known, is a fruit ... More >>

Snap Out of the Holidaze

Uptown Anthem

Mike Torrey, Machu Picchu Photog, Talks Food in Peru

via Mike TorreyGet high in the Andes.​Mike Torrey is a San Diego based architectural photographer with a new book out called "Stone Offerings: Machu Picchu's Terraces of Enlightenment."Mike will be in town for the Miami International Book Fair and will be on a panel with a National Geographic phot ... More >>

Feds Dole Out $26 Million to City of Miami For Affordable Housing

Alex Izaguirre​The U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development sent affordable housing developers in Miami-Dade County an early Christmas present. This past October 16, HUD secretary Shaun Donovan announced 18 south Florida cities will receive $69 million for community development grants, hom ... More >>

Space's Dayglow Party

We’re Dreaming of a Fly Christmas

And the sales are at Hip E. and Downtown Divas.

Bad Santa

Hipsters and ho-ho-hos, get down ’n’ dirty at Sweat and Churchill’s.

Yet Another Stop on the Gravy Train

Make sure you pull over at Whole Foods.

Halls Already Decked

Get your first taste of the season with these holiday trimmings.

You Better Watch Out

The holidays are here, so you can start decking your halls.

Under the Influence

Mike will Mesmer“Eyes” you at the Improv.

Hells Yeah

It’s NYE and we’re shaking it all night long!

Have Yourself a Nastie Little Christmas

It’s the most wonderful time of the year

’Tis the Season

Ho Ho Ho!

Fresh New Kicks

All we want for Christmas is at Puma.

On to the Next Holiday

Get in the Christmas spirit at Festival of the Trees.

Cuisine, Consummated

French Kiss will ravish your palate

A Joint Effort

Wishing you a merry 4/20

This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

Selected events for the week of December 8, 2005

Emeril's Coasts

The spirit of America's favorite chef is absent from his Miami Beach namesake