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Blogs
May 14, 2012
LeBron, D-Wade Rally Heat Over Pacers After Bosh Leaves With An Injury
A lot happened before the Miami Heat and Indiana Pacers even got their Eastern Conference semifinals going. For one thing, Pacers head coach Frank Vogel put on a fancy hat and proclaimed himself captain of the SS Douchetanic, and started inexplicably bitching about how the Heat are a bunch of floppe ... More >>
Blogs
May 14, 2012
Chris Bosh Out Indefinitely With Abdominal Strain
Heat forward Chris Bosh went down with an abdominal injury during yesterday's Eastern Conference Semi-finals Game 1 against the Indiana Pacers.And today, the Heat have announced that an MRI reveals Bosh has a strained abdominal muscle and is "out indefinitely."
Blogs
May 4, 2012
LeBron Scores 17 in the Fourth, Chris Bosh Is a New Dad, Heat Takes 3-0 Lead Over Knicks
In the annals of human history, people discuss three seminal events: the discovery of fire, the invention of the submarine, and LeBron James always punching the entire city of New York in the asshole. It seemed as if Madison Square Garden would be James's undoing last night. His first three quarters ... More >>
Blogs
April 16, 2012
Heat Sweep the Knicks, Win Southeast Division
The Miami Heat went into Madison Square Garden yesterday for the first and only time this regular season, and proceeded to mash the spleens of the New York Knickerbockers to the tune of 93-85, snapping New York's nine-game home-winning streak, sweeping the season series against the Knicks and taking ... More >>
Blogs
April 13, 2012
Heat Get Nothing From Bench, Lose to Bulls in OT
Holy shit bananas, that was rough.The Miami Heat dropped a gut-wrenching loss to the Chicago Bulls 96-86 in overtime last night.And while the game is meaningless in terms of overall playoff importance, it still feels like Heat fans got their collective cocks slammed in a Metrobus door. WILL SOMEONE ... More >>
Calendar
April 5, 2012
Can We Start the Playoffs Already?
Holy shit bananas, that was rough.The Miami Heat dropped a gut-wrenching loss to the Chicago Bulls 96-86 in overtime last night.And while the game is meaningless in terms of overall playoff importance, it still feels like Heat fans got their collective cocks slammed in a Metrobus door. WILL SOMEONE ... More >>
Blogs
April 2, 2012
Heat Turns In Worst Offensive Performance of Year, Loses to Celtics
The Miami Heat has been unstoppable at home since the All-Star break. On the road, however, the team has been a big, heaping pile of ass. And that was certainly the case yesterday during their 91-72 gag reflex of a loss to the Boston Celtics.Rajon Rondo recorded a triple-double against Miami's de ... More >>
Blogs
March 29, 2012
Miami Heat's LeBron, D. Wade, and Bosh Start a Jazz Band! Ten Genres They Should Play Next
No joke ... Miami Heat superstars LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh got together to play a little jazz in honor of Bosh's 28th birthday. According to TMZ, it all went down at the Adrienne Arsht Center at a high-profile party that included Heat don Pat Riley and producer Timbaland. Unannounc ... More >>
Blogs
March 7, 2012
Chris Bosh Returns to the Heat, Proceeds to Destroy the Nets
Sure, it was the Nets. And sure, they're amongst the worst defenses in the NBA. But holy shitsnacks, it was awesome seeing Chris Bosh back in the Heat fold, dropping his silky smooth jumpers in honor of his dearly departed GloJean and turning Kris Humphries into a human-sized lump of coal in the ... More >>
Blogs
February 28, 2012
Nicki Minaj Disses Chris Bosh Hard in New Song
I guess Queens-native Nicki Minaj is a New York Knicks fan, because rap's fiercest rapstress take aim at Chris Bosh in the latest track leaked from her new album Roman Reloaded.Poor Chris Bosh. Dude can't catch a break.
Blogs
February 14, 2012
Chris Bosh Tells Fox TV How It Felt To Beat the Bucks: "It Was Good Sh#t!"
Chris Bosh Interview Bomb. Good Shit.For a time there, it seemed as if the Miami Heat would never find a way to beat the Milwaukee Bucks as long as we all lived. But last night, the Heat finally won against that pain in the ass team, taking them out with extreme prejudice 114-96, and avoiding the se ... More >>
Blogs
January 25, 2012
Chris Bosh Is A Smooth Operator: Heat Take Down Cavs
BoshBalls!The Miami Heat seemed to have been sleepwalking through the first three quarters of last night's game against the Cleveland Cavaliers. And all that dicking around might have cost them the game if not for Chris Bosh blowing up with his 17 fourth-quarter points.Miami was able to sustain s ... More >>
Calendar
December 22, 2011
Rock 'n' Roll's Fantastic Four
BoshBalls!The Miami Heat seemed to have been sleepwalking through the first three quarters of last night's game against the Cleveland Cavaliers. And all that dicking around might have cost them the game if not for Chris Bosh blowing up with his 17 fourth-quarter points.Miami was able to sustain s ... More >>
Blogs
December 12, 2011
Get Free Tickets to the Premiere of Miami Heat's Into the Fire Documentary
The Heat may not have a celebration quite like last year's infamous pre-season pep rally planned to kick off the season -- but maybe that's because they want you to relive that welcoming party all over again. The Heat are about to unleash a documentary film, Into the Fire, and lucky fans will get ... More >>
Blogs
November 23, 2011
Chris Bosh and Wife Expecting a Baby Bosh
Well, we know how Chris Bosh has been spending his lock-out time: making babies.The Miami Heat star and his wife of about six months, Adrienne Williams, are expecting their first child together.
Blogs
September 30, 2011
Watch Chris Bosh Make His Acting Debut on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
It wasn't Michael Jordan in Space Jam (few things, unfortunately, are) but Chris Bosh made his network acting debut Wednesday night on an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Bosh was joined by Carmelo Anthony, and the two played former players of a legendary high school coach (playe ... More >>
Blogs
August 9, 2011
Chris Bosh's Insane Back Tattoo
The NBA lockout gives players a chance to pursue some of their passions. LeBron James is brushing up on his NFL commentator skills. Dwyane Wade is designing watches. Chris Bosh is busy flying tattoo artists to far-away islands to add to the ever-growing montage of nightmarish images he calls a ba ... More >>
Blogs
July 18, 2011
Chris Bosh Got Hitched at the Fontainebleau This Weekend
via Global GrindDespite the fact that he may have gotten legally married to Adrienne Williams shortly before the playoffs, Chris Bosh made it official this weekend with a lavish ceremony at the Fontainebleau on Miami Beach. (Yes, the same place where the Mavs celebrated their finals win.) Unlike ... More >>
Blogs
June 29, 2011
Chris Bosh's Bachelor Party Had Guns and Magic, But No James and Wade
Despite the fact he may have already gotten legally married, Chris Bosh is officially walking down the aisle with Adrienne Williams next month. Like any respectable sports star, Bosh had to have one hell of a bachelor party. A four-day trip to Las Vegas that Bosh dubbed "The Hangover 3" included ... More >>
Blogs
June 12, 2011
Chris Bosh Cries For All Of Miami
So Chris Bosh going all Sean-Penn-in-Mystic-River moments after tonight's loss? Yeah, prepare to see that 8,000 times this summer. We're not going in to work tomorrow.
Blogs
June 8, 2011
Chris Bosh's Ex Won't Let His Daughter Watch Her Dad in the Finals
Custody and child support disputes between Chris Bosh and his ex-girlfriend Allison Mathis concerning their 2-year-old daughter Trinity are nothing new, but even Mathis' lawyers have said she hopes their daughter can have a good relationship with her dad. Oddly, however, TMZ is reporting that Bosh i ... More >>
Blogs
June 6, 2011
Chris Bosh Bogged Down by Junk Food, Still Makes Game 3 Winner
Keith AllisonBosh detoxing.Somebody asked Miami Heat forward Chris Bosh in Dallas if he was getting any home cooked meals, and this was his answer, "I was like, 'Absolutely not.' I want to eat all garbage, junk food and room service just to get that road feel."The Chicago Tribune, surely trying t ... More >>
Blogs
May 27, 2011
Beverly Hills Bosh Ready To Take Over Miami Heat's Big Three
via terezowens.comYeah, that's Chris Bosh!Admit it, you thought Chris Bosh lost his mojo when he cut off his Raptor dreadlocks before joining the Miami Heat. Or maybe you scoffed when he demanded to be a bigger part of the team during the regular season struggles. Maybe, you even sided with the B ... More >>
Blogs
May 23, 2011
Don't Make Chris Bosh Angry
The Miami Heat took down the tough Chicago Bulls 96-85 in an Eastern Conference Finals Game 3 that featured tough defense, gay slurs, Miami fans berating Charles Barkley, LeBron James obliterating Kyle Korver, and Chris Bosh exploding all over Chicago's face. The Heat now have a 2-1 lead in the b ... More >>
Blogs
May 10, 2011
Heat Playoffs: Heat Take Down Celtics in Overtime
They had to overcome overtime, bad officiating, the national media's sudden infatuation with a one-armed man, "retarded-gate," Chris Bosh's supposed "softness," LeBron James' inability to close out games, a losing streak in Boston that's lasted since 2007, and a building full of obnoxious fans, b ... More >>
Blogs
May 3, 2011
Chris Bosh Sues To Keep His Ex, Allison Mathis, Off Basketball Wives Reality Show
Chris Bosh hand-delivered a giant turd sandwich against the Boston Celtics this weekend, shooting three of ten from the field for 7 points. But cut the guy some slack. He may have had other battles on his mind.Bosh filed a lawsuit yesterday against his ex-girlfriend and a TV company in L.A. to pr ... More >>
Blogs
April 25, 2011
Did Chris Bosh Get Secretly Married?
The Miami Heat's big three are under such close media scrutiny they can barely blow their nose without it being reported, but Chris Bosh may have been able to keep his wedding to Adrienne Williams a few weeks ago under lock. Though public records indicate Bosh did tie the knot, he's so far public ... More >>
Blogs
March 18, 2011
Chris Bosh Elle Interview Confirms He's Too Nice to Be Awesome at Sports
As the Miami Heat have struggled this season, critics have repeatedly pointed their fingers at the team's new $100 million big man, Chris Bosh, for playing soft. The 6'11" forward has struggled to assert himself in the paint since arriving from Toronto, leading to whispers that he had "gone Canad ... More >>
Blogs
March 16, 2011
Ten Other Things We Wish We Could Recall
Even if you didn't think yesterday's recall of Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez and Commissioner Natacha Seijas was a good idea, you must admit it was immensely satisfying to watch those lopsided results come in. We posit that it was better than sex. Fornication is wonderful and all, but how oft ... More >>
Blogs
March 9, 2011
Give Chris Bosh The Damn Rock!
Alex IzaguirreUncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special online edition, Luke says the Miami Heat will start winning again when Chris Bosh starts getting the bal ... More >>
Blogs
February 25, 2011
Chris Bosh Goes 1-for-18 as Heat fall to Derrick Rose and the Bulls
Chris Bosh and the Miami Heat's bench decided to turn in the absolute worst performance ever in the history of everything in a game that will undoubtedly have playoff seeding implications down the stretch.The Heat held a 9-point lead at the half against the Chicago Bulls last night, only to see i ... More >>
Blogs
February 18, 2011
Chris Bosh Takes on Conan O'Brien in Thumb Wrestling
Conan O'Brien welcomed one of the few guests taller than him when Chris Bosh sat on his coach. Apparently, Bosh is a big thumb wrestling enthusiast, which of course led to a impromptu match between the two. Watch who wins after the jump.
Blogs
February 14, 2011
Scottie Pippen Calls Chris Bosh Half a Player, Doesn't Think Heat Will Break Any Record
When Scottie Pippen sits down to watch TV, he doesn't see much difference between Two and a Half Men and a Miami Heat game. We guess LeBron is Charlie Sheen, Wade is John Cryer, and Chris Bosh is apparently that chubby kid who's awkwardly aged in front of America. In an interview with Slam Online ... More >>
Blogs
January 22, 2011
Sans Wade or Bosh, LeBron James and Mike Miller Lead Heat, Snap Losing Streak
Dwayne Wade was forced to sit out thanks to a migraine, while Chris Bosh sat out his second-straight game with a bum left ankle. And so LeBron James was left to the mercy of having to rely on Mario Chalmers and Carlos Arroyo for support if the Miami Heat was going to snap their longest losing str ... More >>
Blogs
January 19, 2011
Miami Heat Fall to Atlanta in OT, Suffer Fourth-Straight Loss
And Karmapocalypse 2011 continues.While LeBron James was all healed up from his ankle injury and back on the court, it was Chris Bosh who was forced to sit out with a bum ankle. So we all got a glimpse into a Miami Heat team sans Bosh. And the result was a 93-89 loss at home to the Atlanta Hawks ... More >>
Blogs
January 17, 2011
Bosh, Wade and James All Sit Out Practice With Injuries
How exactly would the Miami Heat play without Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh or LeBron James? Like the reigning champs of a retirement community's summer league? Like an especially hairy WNBA team? Like the '07-'08 Heat, who went Wade-less much of the season and finished with the worst record in the NBA ... More >>
Blogs
November 18, 2010
Chris Bosh Reminds the Haters He Can, In Fact, Play Basketball
Sorry haters, the Miami Heat very much is the three-headed monster you all feared. Following a viral video poking fun at his lake of success so far in Miami and some commentators wondering how long it will be until he's traded, Chris Bosh had an absolute monster of a game last night against the P ... More >>
Blogs
November 17, 2010
Chris Bosh Has an Unfortunate New Theme Song: "Like a Bosh"
We know everyone hates Chris Bosh. People hate him so much that he's already inspired a brand new exciting turn of phrase in the English language: "Like a Bosh." The Basketball Jones defines the idiom as, "When someone or something desires the limelight only to wilt under the new-found pressure." ... More >>
Blogs
November 9, 2010
Everybody Hates Chris Bosh: Is It Time to Downgrade to the "Big Two?"
OK, "hate" probably doesn't encapsulate the recent rash of ink being turned out about the third wheel of the Miami Heat troika. "Disappointed," maybe. "Underwhelmed," possibly. "Concerned," perhaps. Whatever the word, poor Chris Bosh isn't exactly settling in as expected in his new hot home, ... More >>
Blogs
September 24, 2010
A Look Inside Chris Bosh's New Miami Beach Mansion
Chris Bosh is officially a resident of Miami-Dade County. The Miami Heat star has bought a brand new seven-bedroom mansion along Miami Beach's North Bay Road, according to The Herald. The modern looking pad, currently decked out in all-white, features a gourmet kitchen, gym, elevator, courtyard ... More >>
Calendar
September 23, 2010
Let the Butt-Kicking Commence
Chris Bosh is officially a resident of Miami-Dade County. The Miami Heat star has bought a brand new seven-bedroom mansion along Miami Beach's North Bay Road, according to The Herald. The modern looking pad, currently decked out in all-white, features a gourmet kitchen, gym, elevator, courtyard ... More >>
Blogs
August 31, 2010
Sports Site Begs Chris Bosh To Not Get Married, Plagiarizes From Riptide
The stereotype goes that men are afraid of commitment and dread the idea of marriage. For one sports writer that stereotype holds so true that he's literally begging Chris Bosh to not get married after proposing to his girlfriend this weekend in an article titled "Chris Bosh Wedding: Why It Will ... More >>
Blogs
August 30, 2010
Chris Bosh Got Engaged to Adrienne Williams This Weekend
via Baller WivesThe goal of Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and Chris Bosh's unholy Heat trinity was, quite simply, rings. But they'll have to wait until the postseason for their first shot at a championship. Bosh's girlfriend, Adrienne Williams, didn't have to wait so long for her ring. The ... More >>
Calendar
July 22, 2010
Our Other Big Three
via Baller WivesThe goal of Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and Chris Bosh's unholy Heat trinity was, quite simply, rings. But they'll have to wait until the postseason for their first shot at a championship. Bosh's girlfriend, Adrienne Williams, didn't have to wait so long for her ring. The ... More >>
Calendar
July 22, 2010
Our Other Big Three
via Baller WivesThe goal of Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and Chris Bosh's unholy Heat trinity was, quite simply, rings. But they'll have to wait until the postseason for their first shot at a championship. Bosh's girlfriend, Adrienne Williams, didn't have to wait so long for her ring. The ... More >>
Calendar
July 22, 2010
Our Other Big Three
via Baller WivesThe goal of Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and Chris Bosh's unholy Heat trinity was, quite simply, rings. But they'll have to wait until the postseason for their first shot at a championship. Bosh's girlfriend, Adrienne Williams, didn't have to wait so long for her ring. The ... More >>
Blogs
July 13, 2010
Flo Rida, Poe Boy Music Group "We Already Won" Track Celebrates LeBron, D-Wade, Bosh
via realclearsports.comLeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh. Triple word score. The Miami Heat are gonna have Biscayne Boulevard locked up bumper to bumper. The Metrorail, bus, and Metromover are gonna be packed like sardine cans, the parking lot bums are gonna get paid better than we do, and th ... More >>
Blogs
July 7, 2010
Chris Bosh Definitely, Positively Joining D-Wade in Miami, ESPN Says
Two out of three, folks. Two out of three!Heat fans: Put down the gin, back away from the train tracks, and climb down from the edge of the AA Arena roof (talking to you now, Burnie).Superstar Chris Bosh will join über-superstar Dwyane Wade on the hardwood for your Miami Heat next season. So say ... More >>
Calendar
March 18, 2010
Woo the Bosh
Two out of three, folks. Two out of three!Heat fans: Put down the gin, back away from the train tracks, and climb down from the edge of the AA Arena roof (talking to you now, Burnie).Superstar Chris Bosh will join über-superstar Dwyane Wade on the hardwood for your Miami Heat next season. So say ... More >>
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