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Blogs
April 20, 2012
Heat Take Down Bulls In Chippy Affair
Last night's game between the Miami Heat and Chicago Bulls at the American Airlines Arena was as close to a playoff atmosphere as you're going to get in a game that was mostly meaningless, but also mostly amazeballs.Spurred by LeBron James and Dwyane Wade, Miami took down the Bulls 83-72 in a game t ... More >>
Calendar
April 19, 2012
Re-Heated Rivalry
Last night's game between the Miami Heat and Chicago Bulls at the American Airlines Arena was as close to a playoff atmosphere as you're going to get in a game that was mostly meaningless, but also mostly amazeballs.Spurred by LeBron James and Dwyane Wade, Miami took down the Bulls 83-72 in a game t ... More >>
Blogs
April 13, 2012
Heat Get Nothing From Bench, Lose to Bulls in OT
Holy shit bananas, that was rough.The Miami Heat dropped a gut-wrenching loss to the Chicago Bulls 96-86 in overtime last night.And while the game is meaningless in terms of overall playoff importance, it still feels like Heat fans got their collective cocks slammed in a Metrobus door. WILL SOMEONE ... More >>
Blogs
April 11, 2012
Heat Loses to the Celtics at Home, Falls Three Games Behind Number One Seed
LeBron James scored a game-high 36 points last night, while the rest of the Miami Heat stood and watched as the Boston Celtics shot 60 percent from the floor in yet another listless-shit-the-bed-let's-all-go-outside-and-punt-a-litter-of-kittens-loss by the Heat.Rajon Rondo once again had his way aga ... More >>
Blogs
March 15, 2012
Dwyane Wade's Dad Ejected From Bulls Game For Dirty Mouth
Apparently LeBron James isn't the only Heat star with a sometimes embarrassing parent. Dwyane Wade's father, Dwyane Wade Sr., was ejected from the United Arena last night during the Bulls-Heat game, reportedly for yelling obscenities. Jeez, what a big fucking bag of dicks. Updated.
Blogs
January 30, 2012
LeBron James Makes Most Awesome Dunk Ever After Biking to Work
We're not going to say that bicyclists are better than everyone. We're just going to tell you that LeBron James rode his bicycle to work yesterday and then made one of the most awesome slam dunks in NBA history by literally jumping over an opponent. We're going to let you make up you own mind ove ... More >>
Blogs
January 17, 2012
NBA GM Survey: Heat Will Win Championship, LeBron Has Good Shot at MVP
It's tough to find a group of people who know the NBA more than the league's own group of general managers. For the tenth year in a row, NBA.com surveyed all 30 GMs to get their take on the state of the league, and 74.1 percent think the Miami Heat will win the NBA Championship. They also think L ... More >>
Blogs
January 11, 2012
Heat Blow 17-Point Lead, Lose to Warriors, Let's Everybody Overreact!
While you were sleeping last night, the Miami Heat offense also fell asleep in the fourth quarter of their 111-106 overtime loss to the Golden State Warriors.It was a game of turnovers, sloppy play, Mario Chalmers dribbling basketballs off his foot, Udonis Haslem missing dunks, LeBron James ... More >>
Blogs
December 28, 2011
Hannibal Buress Talks Stand-Up, Sitcoms and the Miami Heat
Hannibal Buress has a big year ahead of him. His one-hour stand-up special is scheduled to premiere on Comedy Central this spring. He is also developing his own sitcom for FOX, which will feature Jonah Hill as executive producer. And he's kicking it all off with a headliner at the Miami Improv ne ... More >>
Blogs
November 29, 2011
Miami Heat are Vegas's 2-to-1 Favorite to Win NBA Title
With the exact makeup of NBA's post-lock out rosters unknown, making any super informed predictions about the upcoming abbreviated season is sort of a shot in the dark. Though, with Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh on the Heat, picking them to win the NBA championship is likely your best bet ... More >>
Blogs
May 27, 2011
Miami Heat Championship Smack-Talk Van Painted By Father And Son
Rich AbdillThe men were parked across the street from the arena, where they spent the evening being awesome.There were thousands of fans at Thursday night's watch party at the American Airlines Arena to see the Chicago Bulls fold like a fitted sheet in the final seconds and lose 83-80 to the Heat ... More >>
Blogs
May 27, 2011
Eastern Conference Champions! F%$# Yea!
Every single person that has ever uttered or written or tweeted or thought the word "LeBrick" can help themselves to a dick chipotle. Because with 3:12 remaining in the game, and the Heat down by 12, LeBron James obliterated the Chicago Bulls' vaunted defense like an ass-kicking machine with the ... More >>
Blogs
May 26, 2011
Five Reasons Miami Is a Better City Than Dallas
The Dallas Mavericks earned a spot in the NBA Finals Wednesday night with their 100-96 win over the Oklahoma City Thunder, which means once the Heat finally put the Chicago Bulls out of their misery tonight, all that stands between Miami and a national title is a shaggy, horse-toothed German and his ... More >>
Blogs
May 25, 2011
TNT Camera Man Caught Checking Out Hot, Hot Miami Heat Fans
Last night's heart pumping game between the Miami Heat and Chicago Bulls certainly had enough on court action to keep anyone satisfied, but a TNT camera man got a little bored between halves and started zooming in on some of the Heat's prettiest blonde lady fans. Somehow that ended up getting bro ... More >>
Blogs
May 24, 2011
Joakim Noah, Odd Future, and the Politics of the Word "Faggot"
It's a weird week for the word "faggot," ain't it? The Chicago Bull's Joakim Noah just got fined a discounted $50,000 for addressing an unruly Heat fan as such during game three of the NBA Eastern Conference Finals in Miami on Sunday. Meanwhile, Goblin, the proper debut album of Tyler, the Creato ... More >>
Blogs
May 23, 2011
Don't Make Chris Bosh Angry
The Miami Heat took down the tough Chicago Bulls 96-85 in an Eastern Conference Finals Game 3 that featured tough defense, gay slurs, Miami fans berating Charles Barkley, LeBron James obliterating Kyle Korver, and Chris Bosh exploding all over Chicago's face. The Heat now have a 2-1 lead in the b ... More >>
Blogs
May 19, 2011
Chicago Bulls Have A Hollering Advantage Over the Miami Heat
Because this is the NBA and we do a lot of screaming around here!Which team will win the Eastern Conference Finals won't come down to how great the Miami Heat's big three perform or how wonderfully efficient the Chicago Bulls' bench mob execute their tenacious defensive and rebounding skills. No ... More >>
Blogs
May 19, 2011
Udonis Haslem and His Amazing Feats of Awesome
In Game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals, the Miami Heat had zero answers for the Chicago Bulls and their insane rebounding prowess, sharp shooting, monster dunks and screamy faces. But in last night's Game 2, the Heat answered with the one-two punch of LeBron James and the ball obliterating re ... More >>
Blogs
May 19, 2011
Miami Heat vs. Chicago Bulls: They're Just a Bunch of Wieners
With the help of local boy Udonis Haslem, the Heat nailed the Bulls last night 85-75. Now we come back to Miami for re-ignition of this NBA Eastern Conference Finals sausage fest on Saturday at 8:30 p.m. Since we're foodies, not sports handicappers, we decided to do a "playoff" of the food kind - pi ... More >>
Blogs
May 16, 2011
The Heat Still Can't Beat the Bulls, or Grab a Rebound
Well that was rough. Apparently Chicago Bulls head coach Tom Thibodeau screened Hoosiers for his team while Miami Heat head coach Erik Spoelstra showed his guys Atlas Shrugged prior to their Game 1 Eastern Conference Finals showdown. Because the Heat were out muscled, and out-hustled by ... More >>
Blogs
May 12, 2011
LeBron James' Clutch Balls
LeBron James has taken a lot of shit this year. Mainly because he decided to exercise his perfectly legal right to join another team through free agency. SO EVIL! And then he went and celebrated his signing with the Heat in front of the local fans with a fire works show. SO IMPERIOUS!He's also ha ... More >>
Blogs
May 5, 2011
Sporting News Names Pat Riley Executive of the Year
In news that you probably already knew was coming, Sporting News has named Miami Heat president Pat Riley NBA 2010-11 Executive of the Year after he put together the biggest free-agent signings pretty much ever. Know who else saw this coming? Nearly everyone else on Earth.The NBA's official ... More >>
Blogs
March 7, 2011
Miami Heat Have Yet Another Late-Game Meltdown, Get Swept By Bulls
The Miami Heat had yet another late-game collapse, losing yet another game at the buzzer and going down to yet another playoff-caliber team when they lost 87-86 to the Chicago Bulls yesterday. And while the Heat are now 0-6 against the Celtics and Bulls, and 1-9 against the NBA's top five teams, ... More >>
Blogs
February 25, 2011
Chris Bosh Goes 1-for-18 as Heat fall to Derrick Rose and the Bulls
Chris Bosh and the Miami Heat's bench decided to turn in the absolute worst performance ever in the history of everything in a game that will undoubtedly have playoff seeding implications down the stretch.The Heat held a 9-point lead at the half against the Chicago Bulls last night, only to see i ... More >>
Calendar
February 24, 2011
Kiss From a Rose
Chris Bosh and the Miami Heat's bench decided to turn in the absolute worst performance ever in the history of everything in a game that will undoubtedly have playoff seeding implications down the stretch.The Heat held a 9-point lead at the half against the Chicago Bulls last night, only to see i ... More >>
Blogs
February 14, 2011
Scottie Pippen Calls Chris Bosh Half a Player, Doesn't Think Heat Will Break Any Record
When Scottie Pippen sits down to watch TV, he doesn't see much difference between Two and a Half Men and a Miami Heat game. We guess LeBron is Charlie Sheen, Wade is John Cryer, and Chris Bosh is apparently that chubby kid who's awkwardly aged in front of America. In an interview with Slam Online ... More >>
Blogs
January 27, 2011
LeBron Increased Value of Heat by 17%, Dropped Cavs' by 26%
The Miami Heat may be the most talked about NBA team this season, but they aren't the most valuable. However, the signing of LeBron James and Chris Bosh saw the team's value increase by 17 percent since last year, according to Forbes.com. That's the biggest increase in value over one year in the ... More >>
Blogs
January 17, 2011
Bosh, Wade and James All Sit Out Practice With Injuries
How exactly would the Miami Heat play without Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh or LeBron James? Like the reigning champs of a retirement community's summer league? Like an especially hairy WNBA team? Like the '07-'08 Heat, who went Wade-less much of the season and finished with the worst record in the NBA ... More >>
Blogs
January 15, 2011
Heat Fall Short Against Bulls, Lose Third Straight
LeBron James was forced to sit out his second-straight game with his karma-fucked ankle, forcing Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh to once again play with Mario Chalmers longer than they should be able to.Wade missed a three-point attempt as regulation expired, as the Heat fell to the Bulls 99-96, givin ... More >>
Blogs
December 14, 2010
Miami Heat Already Have Shot at One NBA Record
Unless the Heat somehow manage to only drop two games the rest of the regular season, the hopes that the team can match the '96 Chicago Bulls 72-win season may have to wait until at least next season. Though, the streaking squad is already knocking on the door at meeting or beating another NB ... More >>
Blogs
October 19, 2010
LeBron James Issues South Beach Edition Sneakers
LeBron James didn't just take his talents to South Beach, he brought Nike's design team along with him apparently. The newest Nike Air Max LeBron 8 kicks come in a special edition "South Beach" color way which, of course, means they're bright turquoise and hot pink. They're fresher than a new coat o ... More >>
News
September 2, 2010
LeBron James and crazy quotes
Dumb things people have said since the baller signed with the Heat.
Blogs
July 5, 2010
Heat Send Fans to Greet Dwyane Wade at Airport, Fans Go to the Wrong Terminal
With Dwyane Wade set to return to Miami from Chicago this morning, the Miami Heat sent out a call via Twitter to all fans, gas stations, residences, warehouses, farmhouses, henhouses, outhouses and doghouses in the area to meet D-Wade at Miami International Airport and show him some love. It was ... More >>
Blogs
May 12, 2010
How a Hungover Ref Almost Cost the Miami Heat a Game in the 2006 Playoffs
In an ideal sports world, referees would not be humans. They'd be highly functioning subhumans devoid of any emotion, desires and just about anything but the sole focus to fairly enforce the rules of the game. Of course, they are humans. Humans who like to get drunk and piss in ice buckets. Human ... More >>
Blogs
March 26, 2010
Miami Heat vs. Chicago Bulls: Moving On Up
Jermaine O'Neal must be an avid reader of Riptide, because last night it looked like he was motivated by one of our posts when he led the Heat to one of its most lopsided victories of the season. The team ripped the Bulls a new one to the tune of 103-74.O'Neal got to the business of kic ... More >>
Blogs
March 16, 2010
Dwyane Wade Accused of Dirty Play by Bulls' Taj Gibson
via GQChicago Bulls fans' biggest wet dream involved hometown boy Dwyane Wade suiting up in their version of black-and-red next year. We think it's unlikely to happen, but on the off chance it does, Wade might already have some bad blood with a teammate.Bulls rookie Taj Gibson complained to ... More >>
News
February 11, 2010
Isiah Thomas struggles to reshape FIU hoops
via GQChicago Bulls fans' biggest wet dream involved hometown boy Dwyane Wade suiting up in their version of black-and-red next year. We think it's unlikely to happen, but on the off chance it does, Wade might already have some bad blood with a teammate.Bulls rookie Taj Gibson complained to ... More >>
Blogs
November 2, 2009
News Roundup
A county program that helped low-income people pay their utility bills will be shut down because the county was overwhelmed by the amount of applications that came in. [CBS4]Whiney Fidel Castro says America is infecting Cuba with swine flu, but not intentionally. [CBS4]For the 21st time this year, a ... More >>
News
October 22, 2009
Halloween costumes based on Miami's spookiest celebrities
A county program that helped low-income people pay their utility bills will be shut down because the county was overwhelmed by the amount of applications that came in. [CBS4]Whiney Fidel Castro says America is infecting Cuba with swine flu, but not intentionally. [CBS4]For the 21st time this year, a ... More >>
Blogs
October 20, 2009
How to Make Costumes Based on Miami's Spookiest Celebrities
Between the state of the condo market, parking on South Beach, and the final price tag for the new Marlins stadium, Miamians have suffered through plenty of real-life horrors. So for Halloween parties this year, Riptide is going to put away the Freddy mask and show up in homemade costumes inspire ... More >>
Blogs
March 27, 2009
News Roundup
Local:The VA hospital, which might have accidentally exposed some of its patients to infectious diseases, gave itself a clean bill of health in January. [Herald]In some Homestead zip codes, as many as 25 percent of the houses are in foreclosure. The AP says it is the biggest disaster to hit the area ... More >>
Blogs
March 10, 2009
Even After A Beating, Bulls Fans Still Want Some Wade
via NBA.comThere are a lot of Bulls fans out there who salivate at the idea of Dwyane Wade in their red, white, and black jersey. To them, signing Wade is a right, considering the guy was born in Chicago and idolized Michael Jordan as a kid (then again, who didn't?). Even after Wade single-handedly ... More >>
Blogs
June 13, 2008
Heat and Mayo Together Doesn’t Sound Very Delicious
via NBA.comThere are a lot of Bulls fans out there who salivate at the idea of Dwyane Wade in their red, white, and black jersey. To them, signing Wade is a right, considering the guy was born in Chicago and idolized Michael Jordan as a kid (then again, who didn't?). Even after Wade single-handedly ... More >>
Calendar
April 3, 2008
Almost Done
Heat sans Wade, Riley, or any other recognizable face.
Calendar
January 10, 2008
Hoopin’ It Old-School
Reminisce about b-ball days of yore at the AAA.
Calendar
May 3, 2007
Fingers Crossed
Reminisce about b-ball days of yore at the AAA.
Calendar
March 1, 2007
A Swish Best Served Cold
Will the Heat get sweet revenge?
Blogs
November 1, 2006
Blog of the Day
Will the Heat get sweet revenge?
Calendar
May 4, 2000
B-Ball's Man
Michael Jordan to the Max
Music
October 3, 1996
Feel His Pain
Michael Jordan to the Max
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