This is going to sound weird, but South Beach, I love you. I arrived to your sandy shores three and a half years ago: a moon-eyed Midwesterner with a century's supply of sunscreen, regular sleep patterns, and a steady girlfriend. Now I'm a single, sun-scorched insomniac -- and I couldn't be happier. ... More >>
Dolphins general manager Jeff Ireland's sports legacy will always be that of the guy who asked a prospective player if his mom was a whore, and there's no evidence to suggest it will ever be anything more than that. The current Dolphins mess centering on race-baiting potato Richie Incognito, just th ... More >>
It was a slap on the ass that ultimately cost former NFL player Chad Johnson 30 days of freedom. Johnson was in Broward County court this morning on charges that he violated his probation. A plea deal was reached that would have kept Johnson out of jail, but when the judge asked Johnson if he was ... More >>
In case you've been wondering, Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson is still as bizarre as ever and chronicling it all on Twitter. In his latest escapade, Johnson befriended a homeless man named "Porkchop" this weekend, gave him a makeover, and then took him out clubbing in South Beach.
Anyone can get behind a bar and mix a drink. For that matter, anyone can walk into a kitchen and prepare a meal. After all, we've all cooked for ourselves at home, haven't we?But, bartenders, like chefs, have many different levels of expertise. While the person who pops your Budweiser can at a beach ... More >>
When one club closes, another one opens. Well, at least that's the how it goes in Miami. Wedged between clubs that have been bringing drunken shenanigans to NE 11th Street for years (including Space) is the strip's latest addition, Therapy Miami. The new party spot will be launching tonight. And ... More >>
The Miami Dolphins didn't have the best Christmas week: Despite smothering the Bills on Sunday, they were knocked out of the playoffs yet again when the Bengals later won. But the team can at least take comfort that their holidays weren't nearly as awful as two former Fins stars.Loudmouth linebacker ... More >>
It's been a hell of a legal week for former NFL player Chad Johnson. Earlier this week, his divorce from reality TV star Evelyn Lozada became official, and this morning he struck a plea deal on charges that he head-butted her. Johnson has been sentenced to a year of probation and has been ordered to ... More >>
Former NFL player Chad Johnson and Basketball Wives star Evelyn Lozada were officially divorced earlier this morning. The two had only wed over the July 4th weekend following a romance that was chronicled both on Lozada's VH1 reality show and in the gossip press, but Johnson was arrested just weeks ... More >>
Over the past decade, your Miami Dolphins have resembled a resident of Hiroshima that moved to Nagasaki during World War II to escape the likelihood of bombing. "It's probably much nicer and safer over there," your Dolphins say. Inevitably, they're pretty much screwed either way; it's always an emot ... More >>
Following her husband's arrest this weekend for domestic battery, Evelyn Lozada has broken her silence and released a statement to the media. Lozada, a star of VH1's Basketball Wives, had been married to Chad Johnson for only about five weeks before the incident.
The Miami Dolphins will have no more Chads hanging around next season. According to the Sun-Sentinel, the Dolphins are expected to part ways with quarterback Chad Henne officially next month. He now joins the long list of Dolphins QBs who've failed to live up to the legend of Dan Marino.
We don't mean "prince," as in "heir to the throne." (Though that would be awesome -- imagine how the game would be played under NFL Commissioner Ochocinco.) We mean Prince, as in "Party Like It's 1999," Purple Rain, and that un-pronounceable symbol that earned him so much ridicule back in the day ... More >>
Ochocinco and soccer star Christiano RonaldoGiving that Chad Ochocinco grew up in soccer-loving Miami, it's no surprise that he used to play the sport in his youth, but the colorful Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver is know more for his skills with his hands than his feet. Now, in the face of an N ... More >>
Last night, in perhaps the most dire example of the Marino Curse ever, the Miami Dolphins suffered only their second shutout on their home field in the past 40 years in a 16-0 pummeling by the Chicago Bears. Yes, with Brandon Marshall went out with a hamstring injury. And, yes, the coaching was part ... More >>
Liberty City native and Cincinnati Bengals star Chad Ochocinco has been tweeting up a storm about the bizarre saga of his pregnant pigeon. He even expressed frustration upon learning that pigeons lay eggs and do not give live birth. Today he tweeted pictures of the newly hatched pigeon babies. Probl ... More >>
2 Starz StudioIf you've paid attention to recent hip-hop videos or maybe even watched VH1, then you've probably seen Halie, AKA Halie305, AKA Heather from The Ultimate Catch. A curvaceous 36-25-41 beauty from Miami, Halie's appearance (as Heather) on VH1's summer reality dating series s ... More >>
Photo by Tim Elfrink Is that Ron Burgandy? Nope. Ochocinco reports live from Sun Life Stadium.Chad Ochocinco hasn't yet accecpted New Times' informal offer to write a 10,000-word odyssey/cover story about wearing Snuggies at McDonald's and living a double life as Esteban the Most In ... More >>
Jacob Katel Be Organic members show off samples of their finishing sauces Be Organic is a catering operation on a mission to spread the gospel of healthy food that tastes good. Founding members Chad Cherry, Roosevelt Desir, Kirk Nelson, and Andre Walker are on what they call a "takeover tour ... More >>
Jacob KatelSay Cheese The weekly Paradigm dinner at Neomi's Grill in the Trump International Sonesta Beach Resort takes eaters on a culinary acid trip; blasting their flavor modulators (tongues) through outer space with alimentary combinations that taste like they came from the great beyond. A recen ... More >>
They gave thousands to a commissioner and then won the Marlins stadium contract.
Joe Martinez seems a forthright and resolute guy. He was the first Hispanic elected by his peers to be county commission chairman. He publicly supported the highly unpopular John McCain for president. And he pushed to strip Jose Canseco's name from a stretch of SW 16th Street after the slugger admit ... More >>
An ex-fiancée's testimony sheds light on one of the officers involved in the Mario Barcia case.
As Florida's GOP delegates head for New York, it's time to recall Miami Beach, 1972
Busking drummer keeps the beat despite the law
Les Nubians embrace the feminist mystique