Chad Pennington

The Chad Henne Era is Over for the Miami Dolphins

​The Miami Dolphins will have no more Chads hanging around next season. According to the Sun-Sentinel, the Dolphins are expected to part ways with quarterback Chad Henne officially next month. He now joins the long list of Dolphins QBs who've failed to live up to the legend of Dan Marino.

Peyton Manning "Not Throwing Like an NFL Quarterback," Which, Let's Be Honest, is Good Enough for the Dolphins

​So apparently Dolphins owner Stephen Ross, along with a growing number of Dolphins fans, are "infatuated" with the idea of bringing Peyton Manning to Miami next season. Which is ridiculous when you consider that Manning hasn't even cut ties with the Colts yet, and there's no guarantee he'll fully ... More >>

Dolphins Party Like It's 2008 With a Three-Game Winning Streak

​The Miami Dolphins beat the struggling Buffalo Bills yesterday 35-8, with help from a defense that hasn't allowed a touchdown in 12 consecutive quarters. Miami's defense created turnovers, set up touchdowns for the offense, and scored a special teams touchdown, suddenly making the Dolph ... More >>

Dolphins Fall To 0-4: It's Suck For Luck Time!

​The Miami Dolphins did that thing again where they play like their scrotums are stapled to their thighs, this time losing 26-16 to the San Diego Chargers. In the process, they lost Chad Henne to a shoulder injury, forcing backup Matt Moore to step in and do exactly what Henne's been doing: namely ... More >>

Chad Pennington Joins Fox as NFL Analyst

​Former Dolphins quarterback Chad Pennington isn't ready to accept that his playing career is over just yet, but he's already accepted a job on the other side. He's just signed with Fox Sports to provide analysis during NFL football games. Though he still hopes to return to playing one day.

Dolphins May Pursue Vince Young

​Assuming there even is an NFL season this year (even one that is only eight games long), the Miami Dolphins will find themselves once again in a tough quarterback situation. There's been murmurs about signing a free agent all off-season, and the latest rumors center around the Tennessee Titan's V ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Offense Finally Shows Up

I don't see a difference, do you Dolfans?​Here is a shocker. The Miami Dolphins finally scored more than 30 points this season. It was an offensive explosion for 471 yards that featured two big play touchdowns by running back Ricky Williams and undrafted rookie wide receiver Marlon Moore. Watching ... More >>

Dolphins Capture First Win at Home, Get Slammed by the Injury Bug

TILT! ... TILT! ... TIL* ... ​It took three quarterbacks to do it, but the Miami Dolphins were able to pull off the 29-17 victory over the Tennessee Titans on Sunday, earning the Fins their first home win of the season. That's the good news. The bad news? The entire starting roster is injured and ... More >>

Chad Pennington Will Start at QB For Miami Dolphins

​First Miami Sports News was all about the Heat's Chris Bosh being traded. Then, Miami Sports News was all about the Dolphins' Chad Henne being benched in favor of Chad Pennington. You so crazy, Miami Sports News! Oh... wait... this just in.... one of these things is actually happening.

Dolphins Suffer First Road Loss

​The Miami Dolphins lost their first road game of the season Sunday, falling 26-10 to the Baltimore Ravens, a team that is exactly like the Dolphins in every way except without all the interceptions and missed tackles and special teams blunders and dropped passes. The Dolphins are now 4-4 on the s ... More >>

Is Chad Henne In Danger of Losing the Starting Job?

​There's a lot being said this week about the Miami Dolphins quarterback situation. Mainly, is this it for Chad Henne? This comes largely thanks to a three-interception performance by Henne during Monday's gash-fest against the New England Patriots. On Tuesday, ESPN analyst Chris Mortensen reporte ... More >>

Defeat the Douchebags

Your Miami Dolphins 2010 Football Season Preview

TARGET ACQUIRED!​Are you ready for our completely meaningless and arbitrary predictions for the upcoming Dolphins season? Well this is it. The Riptide 2.0 Miami Dolphins 2010 Football Season Preview. Are you ready to get your ass blown off with some seriously capricious and utterly subjective prog ... More >>

Jeff Ireland Assumes Control of Dolphins from Bill Parcells

​It's not quite "retirement" number four for the Big Tuna, but Bill Parcells took one step out the door of the Miami Dolphins' front office today. The team announced that the now-former VP of football will step down to a consultant position, while general manager Jeff Ireland will take total contr ... More >>

Dolphins at Jaguars Tomorrow Night: What To Watch For

​If there were a word to describe the Dolphins first-team performance last week against the Buccaneers, that word would probably be ass. Dropped passes, bad quarterback play, and a crapload of offensive line penalties kept the Fins in a quagmire of shittiness. It didn't help that they had to play ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Pre-season: A Sloppy Win

​There are several things we can glean from the Dolphins 10-7 pre-season win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers this past Saturday: Pat White is probably done, the Marlins infield is where football goes to die and Dolphins fans remain pretty irrational after just one meaningless game. What's that? Bran ... More >>

Dolphins Host Bucs Tomorrow Night: What to Watch For

​Miami Dolphins football is back! And although it's a meaningless preseason game where the starters will see less than five minutes of playing time, it's still football. And you will watch it because you love it. And you will pick some random anonymous bench player who has a great game against oth ... More >>

SoBeFit Magazine's Next Issue Will be Its Last

​SoBeFit magazine laid off its entire staff today, and the next issue to hit the stands will be the last according to our sources. The locally focused fitness magazine released its first issue in December of 2008, and published six times a year.Little-known journalist and fitness expert Marta Mont ... More >>

Chad Henne Doesn't Think Tim Tebow Will Make it in the NFL

​Will Tim Tebow make it in the NFL? That's the million dollar question of the football world now, and everyone has an opinion. Including Dolphins quarterback Chad Henne.He was on WQAM this morning with hosts Curtis Stevenson and Anita Marks. They asked him his opinion on the curious case of Timoth ... More >>

News Roundup: Heat Fall Below .500

A Man was shot at MIA lounge last night multiple times, while the shooter sped off in a black Mercedes. [JustNews]The ACLU claims two Miami Beach cops harassed and falsely arrested a gay tourist after he saw the men beating another suspect in handcuffs. [Herald]A man in Stuart died after being attac ... More >>

Circle Your Fun Wagons

Chad Pennington Not Sure if He's Coming Back ...Ever

Chad Pennington has already worked his way back from throwing arm injuries twice in his career, and he's not sure if he can do it for a third time.According to the Associated Press, Pennington has finished the first phase of rehabilitation, but may wait until as late as March to decide if he'll con ... More >>

Jets Fans Whining on Wikipedia?

As we know from the "Wikipedia" entry on Wikipedia, Wikipedia can be edited by anyone. And apparently a few select Jets fans have put down their stone tools and cave paint brushes and figured out a little basic HTML. How do I know? Just check out the Wikipedia entry on the Miami Dolphins and scroll ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Win: Champagne Breakfast for Everyone!

​You might recall the Dolphins lately have been getting their asses dented on a week-to-week basis. This has directly led to an 0-3 start, a last-place standing in the AFC East, and Chad Pennington's shoulder crumbling into powder before our eyes. Coming in to this week against the ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Preview: The Robot Era Begins

wikimediaSee the game for them, if not for Chad.​We've had the worst luck with our quarterbacks since Dan Marino retied in 1999. And now, with Chad Pennington's shoulder turning to shredded wheat last Sunday, it looks like the Chad Henne era is upon us sooner than anticipated. Henne comes with a r ... More >>

Dolphins vs Falcons: Let's All Remain Calm and Optimistic

​Miami Dolphins @ Atlanta Falcons, Sunday at 1pm on CBS4. Not to say the Dolphins don't have some well deserved swagger, but let's be real, out of all the defending divisional champs the Fins fan's optimism might be the most muted. We all knew last year's historic turn around season was ... More >>

News Roundup

Over the weekend, pretty much every newspaper editorial board in the state wrote mean things about new Sen. George LeMieux. [Buzz]Oh, and word on the street is LeMieux might be interested in running for U.S. Senate against Bill Nelson in 2012, or for attorney general. [Buzz]Debbie Wasserman Sch ... More >>

Snowflake Returns

10 Music Stars Who Should Own a Piece of the Dolphins (Part 1)

​The Miami Dolphins are for sale to the highest musical bidders. Gloria Estefan and Marc Anthony have both recently bought minority shares of the franchise, leaving us all wondering: Who's next? We've compiled a list of 10 most wanted musicians with a tie to Miami who would be great partial owners ... More >>

When Tweets Lie

The Miami Herald reported Wednesday that there's a Chad Pennington imposter tweeting on Twitter. The quarterback's supposed account talked about various meals and get-togethers with teammates, according to the story. Pennington said he isn't a member of any social networking websites.But what ab ... More >>

More Dumb Dolphins Rumors: Could They Sign Mangini as an Assistant?

Talk about burying an explosive detail. CBS Sports correspondent Mike Freeman has a column up today theorizing that recently fired Jets Coach Eric Mangini won't find himself with another NFL head coaching job anytime soon thanks to wide spread speculation that he ratted New England Coach Bill Belich ... More >>

Pro Bowl Will Be In Miami in 2010

Some football rumors we pick up on Riptide never come true. Usain Bolt never did make his start with the Dolphins. Others are actually legitimate it seems, as the 2010 Pro Bowl will indeed be played at Dolphin Stadium a week before the Super Bowl according to AP sources. The NFL has thought about ... More >>

Two Dolphins Headed to Pro Bowl, but Not Pennington

So the Pro Bowl selections were announced and your Miami Dolphins snagged two spots on the AFC team. Beloved trash talker Joey Porter will be one of the starting outside linebackers, while Ronnie Brown will serve as a reserve running back. One of the biggest snubs? Chad Pennington, who has been havi ... More >>

Porter, Fins Lay a Beatdown on Niners

The two most vicious hits in Sunday's Dolphins-49ers defensive power struggle both came in the waning minutes of the ballgame. First, with the Niners sitting in the red zone, trying to punch in a touchdown and take their first lead of the day, a bunch of security guys absolutely destroyed some ... More >>

The Dolphins' Ass-Kicking Prowess Has Gone International

Holy sugartits is this a magical time to be a Dolphins fan! They're just displaying all kinds of dexterity in the ass-kicking department, as they did yesterday when they flew into Canada's Rogers Centre and delivered a beatdown to the rival Buffalo Bills. The Fins defeated Buffalo 16-3 in front of ... More >>

Letters from the issue of December 4, 2008

"Finely is determining that 'gay, loving relationships' should be relegated to second-, third-, or no-tier status."

Because Sometimes Winning Ugly Beats Not Winning At All

Once again, the Miami Dolphins had to pull unicorns and rainbows out their asses to keep from losing to a two-win team. But pull the magic from their bottoms they did, as they took down the hapless St. Louis Rams 16-12, for their seventh win of the season. Drive killing penalties, a stagnant runnin ... More >>

A Thanksgiving Ode to Chad Pennington, Our Meh-rino

A mediocre quarterback leads the Dolphins back to mediocrity.

Don't Be Afraid to Make Them Punt or Anything

The Patriots punted once in the entire game during yesterday's 48-28 win over the Dolphins. Once. New England's offense totaled 530 yards -- the most the Dolphins defense has allowed since 1995. You could still catch brand new episodes of Seinfeld the last time the Dolphins allowed that many yards. ... More >>

Dolphins Manage to Beat Back Old Crappy Self, Win Fourth Straight

Holy crap. That was close. For a while there, it seemed as if we were witnessing the return of the Shitphins. With just 4:30 remaining in a game that the Dolphins had been leading in all day, Oakland’s John Lee Higgins ran a Miami punt back 93-yards to pay dirt, giving the Raiders their first ... More >>

Dolphins Are Now Balls Deep in the Hunt

Holy Crap! They Won?

The Dolphins beat the Pats! Now it’s the Chargers’ turn.

One Of These Things Looks Like The Other

Dolphins Lose, Pennington Sucks

Drama on the Gridiron: Dolphins vs. Jets

A New Beginning

The rebuilding Dolphins open the season against Brett and the Jets.

Rooting for the Laundry

Dolphins’ New Beginning Starts Off With Old Familiar Ways

I Hate the Jets