Chad Ochocinco

  • Blogs

    January 1, 2014

    Miami New Times Ten Most Read Feature Stories of 2013

    Miami New Times has never had a year quite like 2013. In January, we dropped a bomb on Major League Baseball when our Biogenesis investigation revealed a massive doping scandal in Coral Gables. In April, Michael Bay released "Pain & Gain," a major production with the Rock and Mark Wahlberg based on ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 14, 2013

    Florida Is the Official Capital of Sports Scandals, and It's Getting Kind of Ridiculous

    Without any help from our sports teams Florida already has a well deserved reputation for unabated weirdness, but the bizarre sports scandals that have erupted in the state in the past three years alone is out of control by sports standards, by Florida standards, or by any standards of human decency ... More >>

  • News

    August 15, 2013
  • Blogs

    April 24, 2013

    South Street Closes

    South Street Restaurant & Bar, the Motown-inspired restaurant in the Design District, has closed. The restaurant's Facebook page simply states, "South Street is closed... STAY TUNED FOR WHAT'S NEXT." The phone at the restaurant went unanswered at 7:15 last night, and a call to sister restaurant Gig ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 4, 2013

    Chad Johnson Sues Websites That Leaked Pics of His Sex Tape

    As if things couldn't get worse for ex-NFLer Chad Johnson, Santa delivered some coal in his stocking on Christmas day in the form of pictures taken from a leaked sex time posted online. Johnson, who was kicked off the Dolphins roster this fall after a high profile domestic violence arrest, has now f ... More >>

  • News

    December 27, 2012
  • Blogs

    December 26, 2012

    Bad Week For Ex-Dolphins: Chad Johnson's Sex Tape Leaks, Joey Porter Goes To Jail

    The Miami Dolphins didn't have the best Christmas week: Despite smothering the Bills on Sunday, they were knocked out of the playoffs yet again when the Bengals later won. But the team can at least take comfort that their holidays weren't nearly as awful as two former Fins stars.Loudmouth linebacker ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2012

    Chad Johnson Pleads Not Guilty to Domestic Battery Charge

    This morning former Miami Dolphins wide receiver Chad Johnson pleaded not guilty to charges that he head butted his estranged wife Evelyn Lozada after the two got into an argument when she found a receipt for condoms in his car. The Broward State Attorney's Office had officially filed the misdemeano ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 23, 2012

    Chad Ochocinco Is Now Chad Johnson Once Again

    Sadly, the name Chad Ochocinco will never appear on a Dolphins jersey. That's because the wide receiver has changed his moniker back to his birth name, Chad Johnson. It's fitting, we guess, as he'll be playing his first professional season in his hometown of Miami. Yet, somehow we're disappointed as ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 25, 2012

    Miami Dolphins Replace Playbooks with iPads, Will Fine Players $10,000 for Improper Use

    In a move that will save thousands of pieces of paper a year, the Miami Dolphins have stepped into the digital age and will replace their phonebook-sized paper playbooks this year with iPads. Each player was issued the Apple tablet. Though, that of course means players might be tempted to load up An ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 15, 2012

    Dolphins Players Not Thrilled About Being Filmed for Hard Knocks

    Are you excited to take a behind the scenes look at the Miami Dolphins on HBO's Hard Knocks? Because the players sure aren't.  Tight end Anthony Fasano says groans echoed through the locker room when the team was informed they'd be pulling double duty as reality TV stars.

  • Blogs

    June 14, 2012

    Six Best Club Parties on South Beach This Weekend

    Win free tickets for Afrojack's Jacked Summer Tour at Mansion. The Marlins are barely over .500 and still six games back in the NL East. The Heat trail the Oklahoma City Thunder by a game in the NBA Finals and the Dolphins just signed Chad Ochocinco. Clearly, there's a lot to be upset about, Miam ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 12, 2012

    Chad Ochocinco Signs With the Dolphins, Tweets in Spanish

    In a serious bid to bolster their Hard Knocks reality show ratings -- and an outside chance to firm up the wide receiver position a little -- the Miami Dolphins reportedly signed hometown class clown Chad Ochocinco last night. Ochocinco celebrated the best way he knew how: Updating his Twitter avata ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 11, 2012

    Dolphins Might Sign Chad Ochocinco

    Chad Ochocinco was born in Miami and played for Miami Beach Senior High. His career may be about to come full circle, as the Dolphins are seriously exploring the possibility of signing the most interesting man in the NFL. Based solely on potential blog post fodder, Riptide approves of this move.

  • Blogs

    March 6, 2012

    Chad Ochocinco Got Peed On By a Lion This Weekend

    ​Guess the lion was a Dolphins fan.Miami native, (ugh) current New England Patriot player, and possibly the most interesting football player in the world Chad Ochocinco put on his good clothes and decided to head out for a charity function in Miami Beach on Saturday. This of course being Miami, la ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 10, 2012

    Is Chad Ochocinco the Prince of the NFL?

    ​We don't mean "prince," as in "heir to the throne." (Though that would be awesome -- imagine how the game would be played under NFL Commissioner Ochocinco.) We mean Prince, as in "Party Like It's 1999," Purple Rain, and that un-pronounceable symbol that earned him so much ridicule back in the day ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 20, 2012

    Chad Ochocinco Shops at Urban Outfitters; We Offer Our Styling Suggestions

    ​We at Cultist must confess a certain fondness for Urban Outfitters, purveyors of ironic tees, man-repelling women's attire, and hipster gadgets of all sorts. There's something comforting and innocent about the atmosphere inside the store, like being wrapped in a warm blanket of nonchalance and id ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 5, 2011

    Basketball Wives' Evelyn Lozada Sues Media Take Out for Claiming She Slept With Terrell Owens

    Media Take Out is basically the wild, wild West of Internet gossip. "The most visited urban website in the world" trades freely in outrageous claims. OK, its top headlines right now include questioning Tupac's heterosexuality, praising Kanye's oral sex technique, and implying that Busta Rhymes has h ... More >>

  • Calendar

    August 25, 2011
  • Blogs

    July 12, 2011

    Wiz Khalifa Broke Hip-Hop Code

    Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains why Wiz Khalifa shouldn't settle for Kanye West's sloppy seconds.Wiz Khalifa needs to have his head examined. The b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 26, 2011

    Thursday Night's Top Five Memorial Day Weekend Parties

    Photo by Ivon David Rojas​Memorial Day weekend is officially here. And you know what that means? More ass on the beach than grains of sand, so much liquor you can't feel your face, and so many parties you can't even decide where to wild out without help from Crossfade.Kick your Thursday night of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 16, 2011

    Chad Ochocinco to Try Out for Pro Soccer Team

    Ochocinco and soccer star Christiano Ronaldo​Giving that Chad Ochocinco grew up in soccer-loving Miami, it's no surprise that he used to play the sport in his youth, but the colorful Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver is know more for his skills with his hands than his feet. Now, in the face of an N ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 1, 2011

    Chad Ochocinco Rolls Through South Beach in Super Truck, Ditching the "Ochocinco"

    via Bossip​Chad Ochocinco isn't known for subtlety. The guy can't even catch lunch at the relatively low key David's Cafe II on South Beach without a healthy helping of ridiculous. Yeah, the Miami native plowed through the back streets of South Beach in a giant gas-guzzling "super-truck" this ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 21, 2011

    Bill Clinton Ate Dinner With Cameron Diaz Then Went to Ochocinco's Birthday Party

    ​South Beach apparently has a hot new party it boy, and his name is former President Bill Clinton. Yes, Bubba hit up the town last night in grand fashion. First, he dined with Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez at Prime One Twelve before crashing football loony Chad Ochocinco's star-studded birthday ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 1, 2010

    Dolphins Beat Bengals to Remain Perfect On The Road

    ​The Miami Dolphins remain perfect on the road after traveling into Cincinnati and taking down the Bengals 22-14 on Sunday. They're now 4-0 on the road, and 4-3 on the season. That's the good news. The bad news? The Dolphins offense flat out refuses to score touchdowns. Dan Carpenter just kicked a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 26, 2010

    Is Chad Ochocinco's Pigeon-Birthing Saga a Fraud?

    Liberty City native and Cincinnati Bengals star Chad Ochocinco has been tweeting up a storm about the bizarre saga of his pregnant pigeon. He even expressed frustration upon learning that pigeons lay eggs and do not give live birth. Today he tweeted pictures of the newly hatched pigeon babies. Probl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 6, 2010

    Chad Ochocinco's Pregnant Pigeon "Gives Birth," Upset When Only Eggs Pop Out

    via TwitPicOchocinco's pet pigeon: "Fuck exotic birds i got an exotic pigeon, she's pit bull blue with red eyes, that's exotic! !!"​Somewhere on the list of facts everyone should know comes "birds lay eggs." That's probably just after "the sky is blue" and "the earth is round" on the obvious scale ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 30, 2010

    Chad Ochocinco's Cereal Tells Kids to Call Phone Sex Line

    ​In and of itself, the fact that Liberty City native and Cincinnati Bengal's star Chad Ochocinco has a breakfast cereal called OchocincO's is ridiculous enough. Of course, this being Ochocinco, the ridiculousness doesn't end there. The box implores consumers to call a phone number where they can h ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 28, 2010

    One Party United Under Hip-Hop

    ​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke starts a worldwide political movement.Around this time last year, undercover racist movement Take America Back began to take s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 24, 2010

    Tweets of the Week: Dolphins Player Thinks You're Gay If You Own a Blackberry

    ​This week's athlete heavy Twitter roundup includes Kory Sheet's take on the sexual proclivities of blackberry users, a Marlins player's chill new faux hawk, LeBron's love of college football. Also, the only Republican left who supports gay rights wins an award from a gay Republican group, and som ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 14, 2010

    LeBron James Is Now the Sixth Most Hated Athlete in America

    ​It's pretty clear that everyone else in the nation hates LeBron James and the Miami Heat, but now we have cold, hard numbers to back it up. The Q Score company gauges favor-ability rankings of various athletes, and after reaching a peak high of popularity last year, James is now the sixth most ha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 1, 2010

    Dolphins Player Lost His $50,000 Earring at Practice, But Ochocinco is Coming to the Rescue

    ​The NFL season hasn't even begun yet, and the Dolphins are already embarrassing themselves on the field. Defensive end Kendall Langford lost a 2.5 caret diamond earring (honey, those must be fierce) and had about nine fellow Fins searching the ground for the bling.If only the Fins would work so h ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 25, 2010

    Chad Ochocinco To Appear on Basketball Wives, Dating Evelyn Lozada

    ​Liberty City-native Chad Ochocinco failed to find love with his own VH1 reality show, but as luck would have it he's apparently found love another star from the channel's reality TV line-up: Basketball Wives' Evelyn Lozada, the ex-fiancé of former Heat player Antoine Walker and owner of a s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 22, 2010

    Ricky Williams Wants a Reality Show, But What Should it Be?

    ​Dolphins running back Ricky Williams is looking for a way to pay down some his debts and is reportedly in talks with the production company behind Chad Ochocinco's VH1 dating show to star in a reality show. No word on what the format will be, but since he got hitched last year, we doubt there'll ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 9, 2010

    Ochocinco Reminds Ohio They Still have Ochocinco, Wants to Find Someone to Go to Red Lobster With

    ​OK, people of Ohio, we're sorry we took your home-state superhero. But buck up -- you still lay claim to one of the best Miami-bred players in the NFL: Chad Ochocinco.Of course, Ochocinco continues to prove you can take the boy out of Miami, but you can't take the Miami out of the boy.

  • Blogs

    July 7, 2010

    Rumor: LeBron Flying to Miami Tonight; Fact: Spoelstra Likely to Remain Heat Coach

    ​Even with a major piece of the NBA free-agency puzzle being settled this morning, rumors continue to fly while others are put to rest. That one about Pat Riley reinstating himself as coach of the Heat? As far as Chris Bosh has heard, current coach Eric Spoelstra is staying put. That one about LeB ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 19, 2010

    The Top Five Divas in South Florida Sports

    The sports world is in full freak-out mode over Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez displaying legendary laziness in botching a play and then lashing out at manager Fredi Gonzalez for benching him. Never before have scribes busted out this many synonyms for half-ass performance-- loafing, lollygagg ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 29, 2010

    Move Over, Chad Ochocinco, Robert Battle Is Liberty City's Best Dancer

    Of the many things Chad Ochocinco has given us, the best is clearly his T-Rex end-zone dance. Since then, he has taken his crazy dinosaur shuffle to Dancing With the Stars, where it's working really well for him. He's one of the five z-list celebrities still in the running!​ But he's been dethrone ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 26, 2010

    Basketball Wives: Ochocinco Throws the Worst Parties Ever

    ​There are a slew of talented NFL players from Miami we usually don't care too much about on Riptide unless they happen to play for the Canes or the Dolphins. Chad Ochocinco is the big exception. He is, after all, the most interesting football player in the world. He's practically a hero to us. Bu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 15, 2010

    Chad Ochocinco Set for VH1 Dating Show, Promises Lady Gaga-esque Dancing Costumes

    When Liberty City's Chad Ochocinco does something, he doesn't half-ass it. Especially when that something is utterly ridiculous. The man changed his last name to Ochocinco, after all.So when it was announced he'd make the inevitable jump to reality TV by being a contestant on Dancing With the S ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 1, 2010

    Chad Ochocinco Joins Dancing With The Stars With Pamela Anderson and Kate Gosselin

    ​It's really a wonder that somehow the one-man entertainment machine known as Chad Ochocinco has not been on a reality tv show yet. If there's a single player in the NFL who was made for trash television it's him. He is, after all, Esteban: the most interesting football player in the world.Well, i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 2, 2010

    Chad Ochocinco Adds Another Notch in His Career Belt: Media Day Hack

    Photo by Tim Elfrink Is that Ron Burgandy? Nope. Ochocinco reports live from Sun Life Stadium.Chad Ochocinco hasn't yet accecpted New Times' informal offer to write a 10,000-word odyssey/cover story about wearing Snuggies at McDonald's and living a double life as Esteban the Most In ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 1, 2010

    Chad Ochocinco Appears to Be Enjoying This Week's Miami Festivities

    Yes, he's wearing a Snuggie.​We've long known Cincinatti wide receiver and Miami native Chad Ochocinco has a somewhat colorful personality -- we were sort of tipped off when he legally changed his last name to a bad Spanish translation of his jersey number -- but he seems to be really coming into ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 27, 2010

    The iPad: Is It Good News for the Miami Herald? Bad News for Us? No One Knows

    via GizmodoiOcho​The first image most people will ever see of Apple's recently unveiled iPad displays Liberty City's own Chad Ochocinco. Interesting, but perhaps more important is that the image was party of the New York Times' app for the new machine. For months, rumors swirled that the iPad woul ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 21, 2010

    Super Bowl Strip Club Debauchery: Disco Rick Teaches You How to Politely Make it Rain

    He's mellowed a lot.​Not sure if you heard, but the Super Bowl's coming to Miami. Since the Dolphins didn't make it, we care nothing about the on-field contest. Far more intriguing is the galaxy of debauchery that will be descending on our innocent city for the big weekend -- including almos ... More >>

  • Calendar

    January 21, 2010
  • News

    December 3, 2009
  • Blogs

    December 1, 2009

    We Wait With Bated Breath for Michelle Spence-Jones's Next Acceptance Speech

    ​The best part about suspended City of Miami Commissioner Michelle Spence-Jones's preordained re-election to her vacated seat is this: She'll be able to make another acceptance speech.Her defiant diatribe a few weeks ago -- when she took office moments before being cuffed and booked on grand theft ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 9, 2008

    News Roundup

    What's in the papers and on the news today -- and why you care: A former Miami-Dade Police officer was sentenced to eight years in prison after fleeing the scene of a fatal accident. Aren't cops supposed to know how the law works? [Local 10] Names are already being mentioned as to who will replac ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 2, 2008

    That's Mr. Ocho Cinco To You

    via Sportaphile 86'd Johnson for 85 With 99 to 1 odds that the Dolphins will win the Super Bowl, it's just too depressing to think about them. Until they improve I'll keep my attention on a certain Cinicinati Bengal's wide receiver from Liberty City who makes my head hurt too, but in a different, w ... More >>

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