Chad Henne

Miami Dolphins 2012 Season Recap: The Highs, the Lows, the Ireland

Now that we're firmly entrenched in another playoff season without the Miami Dolphins and the pain of Stephen Ross's absurd season-ending press conference on Monday has faded, it's the perfect time for a cold, hard, slightly inebriated look back at the 2012 season.Ultimately, it was yet another disa ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Five Keys To Victory Versus Patriots

Let's not kid ourselves.There's a very good chance Tom Brady and Co. are going to come in to Sun Life on Sunday and absolutely destroy the living crap out of our football team. However, the one thing we have going for us is that (hopefully) no one on our team will ever look like as much of a dork as ... More >>

Miami Central QB Showdown Saturday: Marshall's Rakeem Cato v. UCF's Jeff Godfrey

​Chad Henne isn't the only Miami quarterback struggling.After leading Miami Central High School to its first ever state title last year, Rakeem Cato has had an up-and-down season so far at Marshall. He's started all five games, but has thrown as many interceptions (7) as touchdowns.Tomorrow he's b ... More >>

Ron Jaworski Apologizes for Saying "Shit" on Air During Last Night's Dolphins Game

​Miami Dolphins fans certainly had a lot to curse about during last night's game, though few of us had the duties of announcing the game live on television. ESPN analyst Ron Jaworski, a former Dolphins player, officially turned the broadcast into a shit show when he let out the four-letter e ... More >>

Tom Brady Is the New Ugg Boots for Men Spokesman, Which at Least Gives Dolphins a Moral Victory

​As Miami Dolphins fans, our gut reaction to Tom Brady is "ugh," so we guess it's only fitting he's the new poster boy for Ugg for Men boots. Yes, Uggs, those horribly ugly sheepskin affronts to footwear decency favored by circa 2005 UM sorority girls (paired with miniskirts, naturally) and middle ... More >>

Texas-Size Whoopin'

Ready for Some Fraudball?

Once Undefeated

Reader mail: Perhaps this Tea Party has more kooks than usual

Channing Crowder Rips Chad Henne, Plans to Get Drunk at Dolphins Games

​Though he announced his retirement last week, former Miami Dolphin Channing Crowder says he is open to returning to the game next season after the birth of his first child. Don't expect the Fins to come calling. Bridges have been burned. He ripped both quarterback Chad Henne and general mana ... More >>

Dolphins Beat Falcons, Still Look Like Crap

The good news is football season started again last night. The bad news is the Miami Dolphins still pretty much blow.The Dolphins visited the Atlanta Falcons for the first game of the 2011 pre-season and, while the Fins ultimately delivered the 28-23 victory, it was mostly thanks to the second teame ... More >>

Dolphins Training Camp Videos Leaked Online by "Fans"

​Maybe the Miami Dolphins need to rethink their policy of letting fans attend open practices during training camp. First a bunch of fans showed up and began chanting, "We want Orton," which really, really hurt Chad Henne's feelings. Now footage from the training camp has leaked online. Which means ... More >>

QB Matt Moore Signs Two-Year Deal With Dolphins

​Well, that didn't take long. According to the Oregonian, quarterback Matt Moore has signed a two-year deal with the Miami Dolphins. This pretty much ends any speculation that the Fins would sign a proven QB better than Chad Henne.

Kyle Orton, Carson Palmer, and the Latest Dolphins QB Rumors

​So the Dolphins have picked up undrafted rookie Pat Devlin, and Tyler Thigpen has officially packed his bags for Buffalo, leaving Chad Henne as the top man in Miami, for now. The QB hunt is still on, though, and rumors about a trade for Kyle Orton are flying, but the team still has its eye on Car ... More >>

Meet Your New Dolphins Quarterback: Pat Devlin

​The Miami Dolphins wasted no post-lockout time addressing their plagued quarterback situation. They've already signed Pat Devlin, a QB out of the FCS-division University of Delaware. Hopefully the undrafted rookie free agent won't be the only move the 'Fins make at QB, but the team believed in hi ... More >>

Dolphins May Pursue Vince Young

​Assuming there even is an NFL season this year (even one that is only eight games long), the Miami Dolphins will find themselves once again in a tough quarterback situation. There's been murmurs about signing a free agent all off-season, and the latest rumors center around the Tennessee Titan's V ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Draft Florida Center Mike Pouncey

​The NFL Draft was last night. And in keeping with the tradition of playing it safe, the Miami Dolphins used their fifteenth overall draft pick to select center Mike Pouncey from the University of Florida.It isn't an especially noteworthy or exciting pick, unless you have a thing for spending your ... More >>

Dolphins Possibly Interested in Carson Palmer

​While the Dolphins brass continues to damn Chad Henne with the faintest of praise, the team appears to be looking for a real quarterback solution during the off-season. With the Dolphins having only the 15th pick in the draft, a rookie QB might not be the answer, so rumor has it they might turn t ... More >>

So What Now For the Miami Dolphins?

Last week, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross gave his vote of confidence to head coach Tony Sparano. The consensus has been that Sparano would keep his job, despite the team's second consecutive losing season. Mainly because the players love and respect him. And even though Sunday's game against the New E ... More >>

Brandon Marshall Isn't All That Fired Up About Chad Henne

​All season long we heard Brandon Marshall going to bat for Chad Henne during press conferences and post game interviews. No matter how shitty Henne played, Marshall insisted that the duo would be a force to be reckoned with once their chemistry got right. Well now that the season is all but ... More >>

Pressure on Dolphins to Draft First Round Quarterback For First Time Since 1983

​No team in the NFL has gone as many years without drafting a quarterback in the first round than the Miami Dolphins. The last time they did the year was 1983 and the man was Dan Marino, which, of course, made drafting a quarterback not much of a concern for much of the next two decades. Thoug ... More >>

Dominic Raiola, Detroit Lions Center, Caught on Tape Telling Dolphins Fans To Suck His D***

courtesy Detroit Lions​As if taking a kick to the nuts from the horrific Detroit Lions wasn't bad enough, a few fans got a little cherry on top of their Sunday turd sandwich courtesy Dominic Raiola, the Lions' center. As he strutted through the tunnel, he offered the Sun Life crew a witty riposte: ... More >>

Bill Parcells: Dirty Dozen 2010

​Each year, New Times puts together a list of the sketchiest politicians and unholiest celebrities and weirdest human beings to call the Magic City home. So who made the filthy cut this year? We're releasing the names one by one ahead of next week's issue, which comes with a full-page illustra ... More >>

Miami Wins, Jets Coach Intentionally Trips Dolphins Player

​If you like low scoring games with shitloads of punting, dropped touchdown passes, coaches tripping players running down the sideline, corner backs with hands of stone, and really repulsive quarterback play, then Sunday's showdown between the Miami Dolphins and New York Jets was right up your all ... More >>

Same As It Ever Was

Dolphins Pummeled, Shutout by Bears

​On a night where the NFL Network previewed an upcoming documentary on Bill Parcells and his football genius, the Dolphins team he built was busy rushing for 39 total-yards and throwing for 187 on their way to their first shutout loss in three seasons. The Dolphins were manhandled and dominated in ... More >>

Dolphins Media Members Cat Fight!

​Apparently, the local beat writers that cover the Miami Dolphins at the Sun-Sentinel and Miami Herald have been sniping at each other the last couple of days. It's mainly been done on twitter, because you can really zing a guy in 140 characters or less.You want to know what's going on with your M ... More >>

Dolphins Suffer First Road Loss

​The Miami Dolphins lost their first road game of the season Sunday, falling 26-10 to the Baltimore Ravens, a team that is exactly like the Dolphins in every way except without all the interceptions and missed tackles and special teams blunders and dropped passes. The Dolphins are now 4-4 on the s ... More >>

Dolphins Beat Bengals to Remain Perfect On The Road

​The Miami Dolphins remain perfect on the road after traveling into Cincinnati and taking down the Bengals 22-14 on Sunday. They're now 4-0 on the road, and 4-3 on the season. That's the good news. The bad news? The Dolphins offense flat out refuses to score touchdowns. Dan Carpenter just kicked a ... More >>

Dolphins Take Down Packers in Overtime

​Your Miami Dolphins were able to outlast an undermanned Green Bay Packers in a 23-20 overtime win on the road. As usual, the Dolphins kept things interesting, allowing an injury-riddled Packers team to keep things closer than they really should've been. Probably because the Dolphins didn't want t ... More >>

Dolphins at the Packers on Sunday: Keys To Victory

​This week, the Miami Dolphins travel to Green Bay, Wisconsin, to face the Packers. Wisconsin, the state that gave us cheese, and Vince Lombardi, and cheese! Want to go to a place that makes Minnesota look exotic? Want to visit a place where the highlight of your trip is visiting the State Capitol ... More >>

Dolphins Fall to the Jets

​As losses go, last night's 31-23 defeat at the hands of the New York Jets was particularly painful. Not just because it was a crappy way for the Fins to open their season at home. But also because the floodgates of troglodytic hubris have now been opened as Jets fans will surely begin to beat the ... More >>

Patriot Massacre

Dolphins Defense Leads the Way in Big Win Over Vikings

​Everyone had the Miami Dolphins going into Minnesota and getting their asses handed to them by Brett Favre and the Vikings. But when it came down to it, the Fins executed a simple two-part game plan against the supposed Super Bowl contenders to perfection. For the offense: No screw ups by Chad He ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Start the Season With an Ugly Win

​The Miami Dolphins offense lurched their way through yesterday's season-opener against the Buffalo Bills, managing to score only one touchdown and two field goals in their 15-10 victory. But the Dolphins defense stepped up large with three sacks while holding the Bills' offense to 189-total yards ... More >>

The Monday Night Football Guys Think Highly of the Miami Dolphins

​ESPN's Monday Night Football analysts Ron Jaworski and Jon Gruden held a conference call today to preview the upcoming season and both think the Miami Dolphins are going to beat the odds and play well into January. While pretty much the rest of the planet thinks Miami will finish third in the AFC ... More >>

Dolphins Host the Falcons Tonight: What To Watch For

The starting squad for your Miami Dolphins has not been able to catch a break with the all the rain during the first two pre-season games. Against the Buccaneers two weeks ago, a rainstorm created a quagmire in Sun Life Stadium. Last week, the foul weather followed them up to Jacksonville where a li ... More >>

Dolphins Rookie A.J. Edds Blows Out Knee

​Things had been running pretty smoothly for the Miami Dolphins since training camp began last Friday. Chad Henne is looking sharp, Will Allen is looking fluid, and newly acquired Pro Bowl wide receiver Brandon Marshall is downright blowing shit up. But all the good times and double rainbows came ... More >>

News Roundup: Heat Fall Below .500

A Man was shot at MIA lounge last night multiple times, while the shooter sped off in a black Mercedes. [JustNews]The ACLU claims two Miami Beach cops harassed and falsely arrested a gay tourist after he saw the men beating another suspect in handcuffs. [Herald]A man in Stuart died after being attac ... More >>

Texans vs. Dolphins Recap: A Tale of Two Halves

​That Dolphins halftime speech must have been some kind of fire and brimstone sermon. Something along the lines of Henry V's Saint Crispen's Day address. The pre-game speech, meh, not so much. It was probably more along the lines of, "Okay men, we're gonna go out there and we're gonna pull down ou ... More >>

Miami Dolphins' Tony Sparano is a conservative coach who takes huge risks

Miami Dolphins in the Thick of It

​If we had told you before this game started that the Dolphins would only manage to score 14 points in the first half, zero points in the second half, turn the ball over three times in enemy territory, but will still win the game, you would have stabbed us in the spleen with a No. 2 pencil and gon ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Win: Never Say Die!

​Just when you thought they were good and dead, the Miami Dolphins pull off one of the most satisfying, Scarlett-Johansson's-knockers-in-your-face awesome victories of the 2009 season. It came thanks in large part to Chad Henne, Vontae Davis, and a Dolphins team that simply won't die.On their firs ... More >>

Dolphins Choke on Thanksgiving Weekend

​Four things you must have to be a Miami Dolphins fan:A total lack of surprise when they lose to a 3-7 team.An understanding that when they're presented with a golden opportunity scenario they, more often than not, blow said opportunity.An expectation that things can and eventually will implode.Bo ... More >>

Ricky Williams and His Amazing Feats of Ass-Kickery

​First things first: Ricky Williams is now officially the Ambassador of Fucking Your Shit Up and Knocking Fools' Dicks Into the Dirt after last night's brilliant 119-yard, three-touchdown performance. Many had their doubts about the Dolphins' ability to effectively run the ball without Ronnie Brow ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Lose: Hauntingly Familiar

​When Vontae Davis started off the game with a leaping interception that can only be described as Fuck Yea!, the consensus feeling was the Dolphins were going to make this one interesting. Maybe even pull off the upset. Alas, it was not to be. The Patriots were able to show us, once again, that th ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Preview: One Insufferable Fanbase Down, One To Go

​When last we saw our Miami Dolphins, they were busy beating the bejesus out of the shitdipping trash-talking New York Jets, and silencing their shitdipping trash-talking fans in the process. It was one of the most satisfying wins in recent memory. Jason Taylor was able to talk some trash of his o ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Win: Turns Out All That Trash Talking Will Get You a Nice Little Beatdown

​Coming into yesterday's rematch in the Meadowlands, Jets players called the Miami Dolphins a gimmicky team, called their Wildcat formation "nonsense," and called Chad Henne a clown. They said they couldn't wait to play Miami again, claimed they were the better team and threatened to take out Henn ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Preview: What Might Have Been

​For all the varied assortment of gargantuan shit stains Nick Saban left on the Dolphins' proverbial bed, no shit stain was as big a shit stain as the shit stain he left in the form of not signing Drew Brees when the Chargers made him available. Instead, Saban went with Daunte Culpepper. The rest ... More >>

News Roundup

LocalMiami commissioners will vote on whether to build a new children's courthouse today. [Herald]And F.D.O.T. is expected to finally make a decision on the Port of Miami tunnel this week. Gee, so many things are coming to a head this week. Once you commit $2.1 billion to help a private enterprise l ... More >>