Chad Henne

Your Obligatory Dolphins Draft Grade

Dolphins’ New Beginning Starts Off With Old Familiar Ways

Snowflake Returns

Miami Dolphins Preview: The Robot Era Begins

wikimediaSee the game for them, if not for Chad.​We've had the worst luck with our quarterbacks since Dan Marino retied in 1999. And now, with Chad Pennington's shoulder turning to shredded wheat last Sunday, it looks like the Chad Henne era is upon us sooner than anticipated. Henne comes with a r ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Win: Champagne Breakfast for Everyone!

​You might recall the Dolphins lately have been getting their asses dented on a week-to-week basis. This has directly led to an 0-3 start, a last-place standing in the AFC East, and Chad Pennington's shoulder crumbling into powder before our eyes. Coming in to this week against the ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Preview: Grudge Match

​Tonight is the Judgment Day, Hour of Reckoning, massively hysterical, Road to Armageddon, cats-and-dogs-living-together apocalyptic showdown between the Dolphins and Jets at Land Shark Stadium. Here are three key factors:1. Rex Ryan Knows How to Stop the Wildcat, Can Eat an Entire X ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Win: Foes Vanquished, Obnoxious Fanbase Silenced, Everything's Beautiful!

​The Miami Dolphins coaching staff must be avid readers of Riptide. Because they pretty much ran down the checklist of our three keys for a Dolphins victory post and came out on top with a thrilling, last second 31-27 victory over the Jets on Monday Night Football. You're welcome, everybody!It was ... More >>

Miami Dolphins: The Robot Leads Miami To An Ugly Win

​Well we did say in our preview that this one felt like it was going to be closer than it should be. And Christ was it ever. Ugly win? This was lady-bitten-in-the-face-by-a-crazy-ass-chimp ugly as the Dolphins mangled, bungled and stumbled their way to a 25-23 victory against the lowly Buccaneers ... More >>

Circle Your Fun Wagons

​Well we did say in our preview that this one felt like it was going to be closer than it should be. And Christ was it ever. Ugly win? This was lady-bitten-in-the-face-by-a-crazy-ass-chimp ugly as the Dolphins mangled, bungled and stumbled their way to a 25-23 victory against the lowly Buccaneers ... More >>

Four Reasons the Dolphins Crapped the Bed on Their Season

​Just days before Christmas, the Miami Dolphins were supposed to come up with another big win to inch closer to a post-season berth. Instead, they delivered a stocking full of turds in the form of a 27-24 loss in overtime to the Tennessee Titans. There's plenty of blame to go around for their play ... More >>

Chad Henne Doesn't Think Tim Tebow Will Make it in the NFL

​Will Tim Tebow make it in the NFL? That's the million dollar question of the football world now, and everyone has an opinion. Including Dolphins quarterback Chad Henne.He was on WQAM this morning with hosts Curtis Stevenson and Anita Marks. They asked him his opinion on the curious case of Timoth ... More >>

Chad Henne Back Tracks on Tim Tebow Comments

​Chad Henne committed sacrilege by daring to criticize his holiness, St. Tim Tebow, and now has been made to repent."My judgment is that he's not an NFL quarterback. I'll leave it at that," Henne said yesterday on WQAM. The comment ended up getting national attention, and Henne was forced to addre ... More >>

Dolphins to Hold Practice Tonight at Sun Life Stadium (Update: No They Won't)

The Robot Chad Henne​If this past Saturday's seven-on-seven scrimmage is any indication, the Miami Dolphins will go 0-16 and then explode. In a nutshell, the new-look offense starring wide receiver Brandon Marshall was atrocious. Even though Marshall has been dominant during practices, he finished ... More >>

Dolphins Host Bucs Tomorrow Night: What to Watch For

​Miami Dolphins football is back! And although it's a meaningless preseason game where the starters will see less than five minutes of playing time, it's still football. And you will watch it because you love it. And you will pick some random anonymous bench player who has a great game against oth ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Pre-season: A Sloppy Win

​There are several things we can glean from the Dolphins 10-7 pre-season win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers this past Saturday: Pat White is probably done, the Marlins infield is where football goes to die and Dolphins fans remain pretty irrational after just one meaningless game. What's that? Bran ... More >>

Dolphins at Jaguars Tomorrow Night: What To Watch For

​If there were a word to describe the Dolphins first-team performance last week against the Buccaneers, that word would probably be ass. Dropped passes, bad quarterback play, and a crapload of offensive line penalties kept the Fins in a quagmire of shittiness. It didn't help that they had to play ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Pre-Season: Fins Win Again, Despite Another Squall

Oil can! ... Oil can!​Saturday night was quite a night for both football and meteorology enthusiasts. After nearly a two-hour weather delay, the Miami Dolphins went out and defeated the Jacksonville Jaguars 27-26. It's the second-straight win for the Fins, and a second-straight week where they had ... More >>

Marc Anthony, Enrique Iglesias and Fergie Scheduled to Perform at Dolphins Home Opener

​To quote Hank Williams Jr., "are you ready for some football?" True, that line may not be the most original. But the temptation is simply too great to pass up when the rare opportunity to intone the venerable Monday Night Football open arises for a music writer who's also a lifelong DolFan, a foo ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Pre-Season: Fins Lose "Dress Rehearsal"

​Remember all that rain that's been following the Miami Dolphins around throughout the pre-season? Well they finally caught a break from Mother Nature for their third pre-season game against the Falcons on Friday night. And then they managed to score a whopping six points in a 16-6 loss. It's ... More >>

Canes Dominate, Dolphins Not So Much

​If Florida A&M's goal was to come out and get completely annihilated in the most humbling way imaginable, then mission accomplished because The U came out and crushed the Rattlers 45-0 last night. The defense recorded eight sacks, Jacory Harris tossed three touchdowns, Leonard Hankerson caugh ... More >>

Your Miami Dolphins 2010 Football Season Preview

TARGET ACQUIRED!​Are you ready for our completely meaningless and arbitrary predictions for the upcoming Dolphins season? Well this is it. The Riptide 2.0 Miami Dolphins 2010 Football Season Preview. Are you ready to get your ass blown off with some seriously capricious and utterly subjective prog ... More >>

Dolphins Defense Leads the Way in Big Win Over Vikings

​Everyone had the Miami Dolphins going into Minnesota and getting their asses handed to them by Brett Favre and the Vikings. But when it came down to it, the Fins executed a simple two-part game plan against the supposed Super Bowl contenders to perfection. For the offense: No screw ups by Chad He ... More >>

Dolphins Host the Jets Sunday Night: Keys To Victory

​After starting the season on the road 2-0 and standing alone on top of the AFC East, your Miami Dolphins come home this weekend to host the hated New York Jets at Sun Life Stadium Sunday night. It's been quite the eventful week for both teams. For the Fins, there's the controversy of who allowed ... More >>

Dolphins Host the Patriots Tonight: Keys To Victory

Last week, it was against the Jets on Sunday Night Football. Tonight, it's the Patriots on Monday Night Football. That's two straight weeks the Dolphins face an AFC East rival in the national spotlight. Also, it's two straight weeks they face a team with an insufferable fanbase. So tonight is a must ... More >>

Dolphins Get Pummeled On Monday Night Football

​​On a night where the Miami Dolphins were supposed to make a statement, get things back on track, and show the rest of the NFL watching world that they had arrived as a force to be reckoned with, they were instead beaten senselessly in a 41-14 shellacking at the hands of the New England Patriot ... More >>

Is Chad Henne In Danger of Losing the Starting Job?

​There's a lot being said this week about the Miami Dolphins quarterback situation. Mainly, is this it for Chad Henne? This comes largely thanks to a three-interception performance by Henne during Monday's gash-fest against the New England Patriots. On Tuesday, ESPN analyst Chris Mortensen reporte ... More >>

Chad Pennington Will Start at QB For Miami Dolphins

​First Miami Sports News was all about the Heat's Chris Bosh being traded. Then, Miami Sports News was all about the Dolphins' Chad Henne being benched in favor of Chad Pennington. You so crazy, Miami Sports News! Oh... wait... this just in.... one of these things is actually happening.

Quarterback Quandaries

​First Miami Sports News was all about the Heat's Chris Bosh being traded. Then, Miami Sports News was all about the Dolphins' Chad Henne being benched in favor of Chad Pennington. You so crazy, Miami Sports News! Oh... wait... this just in.... one of these things is actually happening.

Dolphins Capture First Win at Home, Get Slammed by the Injury Bug

TILT! ... TILT! ... TIL* ... ​It took three quarterbacks to do it, but the Miami Dolphins were able to pull off the 29-17 victory over the Tennessee Titans on Sunday, earning the Fins their first home win of the season. That's the good news. The bad news? The entire starting roster is injured and ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Offense Finally Shows Up

I don't see a difference, do you Dolfans?​Here is a shocker. The Miami Dolphins finally scored more than 30 points this season. It was an offensive explosion for 471 yards that featured two big play touchdowns by running back Ricky Williams and undrafted rookie wide receiver Marlon Moore. Watching ... More >>

Dolphins Lose to Browns, Fall to 1-5 at Home

Oh what could have been...​The Miami Dolphins fell to the Cleveland Browns 13-10 on Sunday in a game that was probably the worst-case scenario for making an argument that American football is exciting.While both teams' offenses did their darndest to lull you into unconsciousness, there was a palpa ... More >>

Dolphins Lose Sixth Home Game of Season, Playoffs are DOA

​With Sunday's 17-14 loss to the lowly Buffalo Bills, it looks like the Miami Dolphins have managed to cobble together yet another season of rampant incompetence. The loss killed whatever feeble hopes Miami had on making the playoffs, putting their record at 7-7 and giving them their sixth ho ... More >>

Dolphins Implode Against Lions, Finish Season 1-7 At Home

​With no playoffs and no hope left for this season, the Dolphins entered a pretty meaningless game against the Detroit Lions on Sunday, all things considered. There was very little to be gained from a win other than to say they didn't lose to the Detroit Lions. But that didn't lessen the sting whe ... More >>

Pressure on Dolphins to Draft First Round Quarterback For First Time Since 1983

​No team in the NFL has gone as many years without drafting a quarterback in the first round than the Miami Dolphins. The last time they did the year was 1983 and the man was Dan Marino, which, of course, made drafting a quarterback not much of a concern for much of the next two decades. Thoug ... More >>

Chad Henne Danced In Fake Boobs On His Vacation

The Robot assimilating with humans. You're doing it wrong, Robot!​TMZ has pictures of Dolphins quarterback Chad Henne dancing around with fake boobs on his vacation in the Bahamas.And because the Dolphins are a shrill, smug, stuffy organization (because they like to think they're the New England P ... More >>

Mandich Believed in Henne to the End

​True-aqua-blue Dolphins fans are probably torn this morning. Here they were hating Chad Henne and hoping their team would draft a quarterback and realizing they'd be stuck with the stinker from Michigan for another year when they didn't, when their patron saint bequeathed them a parting message: ... More >>

As Kyle Orton Talks Stall, Stephen Ross Promises Dolphins Will Add Another Quarterback

Another year without a true successor to Marino?​Rest assured, Dolfans, your team's hunt for another quarterback isn't over. Owner Stephen Ross told the media today he expects the team to sign somebody. Possibly even anybody. Just don't hold your breath hoping that anybody is necessarily going to ... More >>

Chad Henne Has Feelings, Does Not Appreciate Dolphins Fans Hurting Them

​If you prick Chad Henne does he not bleed? If you tickle him does he not laugh? If you stand outside practice and openly boo him does he not get all butthurt about it? Of course, from Henne's on-the-field inconsistencies we should know that the man is very much human, open to error and all, and a ... More >>

Chad Henne Is the Worst-Ranked Starting QB in the NFL

​Lest you think Miami Dolphins fans were being overdramatic in their disappointment that the team couldn't get a starting quarterback better than Chad Henne, we now have cold, hard rankings to back our whining. USA Today ranked all 32 teams' starting quarterbacks, and Henne came in 31st out of 32. ... More >>

Reader mail: Perhaps this Tea Party has more kooks than usual

​Lest you think Miami Dolphins fans were being overdramatic in their disappointment that the team couldn't get a starting quarterback better than Chad Henne, we now have cold, hard rankings to back our whining. USA Today ranked all 32 teams' starting quarterbacks, and Henne came in 31st out of 32. ... More >>

Just When Chad Henne Finally Gets His Shit Together, the Fins D Gets Reamed

TAWMMY BRADY IS FACKIN' GAWD!! LET'S GO SAWX!!​All the talk before this season began was how Chad Henne and the Miami Dolphins offense was just a massive pile of deer shit. But when Henne started things off last night's season opener against the New England Patriots by leading the Fins on a 12-pla ... More >>

To The Amazement of Absolutely Nobody, Dolphins Fall to 0-2

​The Amazing Shitshow! that is your Miami Dolphins fell to the Houston Texans for the sixth straight time in a 23-13 ass-whoopin' yesterday afternoon. The Dolphins are now 0-2 to start the season, have lost eleven of it's last twelve games at home, can't convert a third down for dick, and are the ... More >>

Channing Crowder: "I Don't Like Henne... I Just Don't Like the Guy"

Sure, Channing Crowder is no longer a member of the Miami Dolphins, but he seems to be determined to keep his position as the team's biggest loudmouth. The temporarily "retired" linebacker was on the Joe Rose Show this morning on WQAM and unleashed some harsh words for Dolphins QB Chad Hen ... More >>

Dolphins Wait Until Last Possible Moment To Crap Themselves

​The Miami Dolphins dominated pretty much every facet of the game against the Cleveland Browns yesterday, including rushing and passing yards. They even held a 16-10 lead with 43 seconds remaining.But because these are the Dolphins, they decided to go ahead and do that thing where they go all epic ... More >>

Dolphins Fall To 0-4: It's Suck For Luck Time!

​The Miami Dolphins did that thing again where they play like their scrotums are stapled to their thighs, this time losing 26-16 to the San Diego Chargers. In the process, they lost Chad Henne to a shoulder injury, forcing backup Matt Moore to step in and do exactly what Henne's been doing: namely ... More >>

With Chad Henne Injured, Dolphins Reach Out to David Garrard and Jake Delhomme

As if the Dolphins needed more problems, it appears Chad Henne's shoulder injury is pretty serious. Now multiple reports are claiming the Fins are downright desperate to bring in some new QB blood and have reached out to both David Garrard and Jake Delhomme.

Trent Edwards and Brodie Croyle Latest Leftover QBs Given a Look by the Dolphins

With Chad Henne probably out because of his injury, someone else will become the Dolphins' 16th starting quarterback in the 13 years since Dan Marino's retirement. The job will most likely go Matt Moore, barring a miraculous Henne recovery, but the Fins are still on the hunt for other backups.  ... More >>