Brandon Marshall

Dolphins Are Now Balls Deep in the Hunt

This Week in Joey Porter's Mouth (and His Popcorn Muscles)

Miami Prepares to Worship Brandon Marshall for the Next Five Years

​It's official, the Dolphins signed talented but sometimes controversial Brandon Marshall to a $50 million, five season contract making him the highest paid receiver in NFL history. We were hoping the Fins would have some big trick under their sleeves this off season, and this apparently ... More >>

Okay Brandon Marshall, You Can Live in Miami -- But You Should Probably Invest in Broward

​Our elitist sister paper in Broward and Palm Beach, proud home of dumpy white people, pastel tones, and boredom, today declared that new Dolphin wide receiver Brandon Marshall would be better served to find a house in Miami than in Broward or Palm Beach counties -- you know, 'cause he's a "thug" ... More >>

Jason Taylor Drags His Feet on Decision

Jason Taylor is like the pretty girl at the High School prom who used to go steady with the prom king (The Dolphins), and showed up single just in case there was a chance they could rekindle it. But The Dolphins seem taken with the hot new exchange student at the moment (Brandon Marshall). Sure, the ... More >>

Save the Dolphins

Jason Taylor is like the pretty girl at the High School prom who used to go steady with the prom king (The Dolphins), and showed up single just in case there was a chance they could rekindle it. But The Dolphins seem taken with the hot new exchange student at the moment (Brandon Marshall). Sure, the ... More >>

Dolphins to Hold Practice Tonight at Sun Life Stadium (Update: No They Won't)

The Robot Chad Henne​If this past Saturday's seven-on-seven scrimmage is any indication, the Miami Dolphins will go 0-16 and then explode. In a nutshell, the new-look offense starring wide receiver Brandon Marshall was atrocious. Even though Marshall has been dominant during practices, he finished ... More >>

Dolphins Host Bucs Tomorrow Night: What to Watch For

​Miami Dolphins football is back! And although it's a meaningless preseason game where the starters will see less than five minutes of playing time, it's still football. And you will watch it because you love it. And you will pick some random anonymous bench player who has a great game against oth ... More >>

Even the Dolphins' Brandon Marshall Wants to Play for the Heat

​Brandon Marshall probably would have been the biggest accusation of the off season for a Miami team if it wasn't for that whole LeBron thing. Maybe he was worried we forgot about him, so he decided to say something ridiculous to garner some attention. See Marshall thinks there'll definitely be an ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Pre-season: A Sloppy Win

​There are several things we can glean from the Dolphins 10-7 pre-season win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers this past Saturday: Pat White is probably done, the Marlins infield is where football goes to die and Dolphins fans remain pretty irrational after just one meaningless game. What's that? Bran ... More >>

No Stopping Stanton

​There are several things we can glean from the Dolphins 10-7 pre-season win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers this past Saturday: Pat White is probably done, the Marlins infield is where football goes to die and Dolphins fans remain pretty irrational after just one meaningless game. What's that? Bran ... More >>

No Stopping Stanton

​There are several things we can glean from the Dolphins 10-7 pre-season win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers this past Saturday: Pat White is probably done, the Marlins infield is where football goes to die and Dolphins fans remain pretty irrational after just one meaningless game. What's that? Bran ... More >>

No Stopping Stanton

​There are several things we can glean from the Dolphins 10-7 pre-season win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers this past Saturday: Pat White is probably done, the Marlins infield is where football goes to die and Dolphins fans remain pretty irrational after just one meaningless game. What's that? Bran ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Pre-Season: Fins Win Again, Despite Another Squall

Oil can! ... Oil can!​Saturday night was quite a night for both football and meteorology enthusiasts. After nearly a two-hour weather delay, the Miami Dolphins went out and defeated the Jacksonville Jaguars 27-26. It's the second-straight win for the Fins, and a second-straight week where they had ... More >>

Marc Anthony, Enrique Iglesias and Fergie Scheduled to Perform at Dolphins Home Opener

​To quote Hank Williams Jr., "are you ready for some football?" True, that line may not be the most original. But the temptation is simply too great to pass up when the rare opportunity to intone the venerable Monday Night Football open arises for a music writer who's also a lifelong DolFan, a foo ... More >>

Dolphins Host the Falcons Tonight: What To Watch For

The starting squad for your Miami Dolphins has not been able to catch a break with the all the rain during the first two pre-season games. Against the Buccaneers two weeks ago, a rainstorm created a quagmire in Sun Life Stadium. Last week, the foul weather followed them up to Jacksonville where a li ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Pre-Season: Fins Lose "Dress Rehearsal"

​Remember all that rain that's been following the Miami Dolphins around throughout the pre-season? Well they finally caught a break from Mother Nature for their third pre-season game against the Falcons on Friday night. And then they managed to score a whopping six points in a 16-6 loss. It's ... More >>

Your Miami Dolphins 2010 Football Season Preview

TARGET ACQUIRED!​Are you ready for our completely meaningless and arbitrary predictions for the upcoming Dolphins season? Well this is it. The Riptide 2.0 Miami Dolphins 2010 Football Season Preview. Are you ready to get your ass blown off with some seriously capricious and utterly subjective prog ... More >>

Dolphins Host the Jets Sunday Night: Keys To Victory

​After starting the season on the road 2-0 and standing alone on top of the AFC East, your Miami Dolphins come home this weekend to host the hated New York Jets at Sun Life Stadium Sunday night. It's been quite the eventful week for both teams. For the Fins, there's the controversy of who allowed ... More >>

Dolphins Fall to the Jets

​As losses go, last night's 31-23 defeat at the hands of the New York Jets was particularly painful. Not just because it was a crappy way for the Fins to open their season at home. But also because the floodgates of troglodytic hubris have now been opened as Jets fans will surely begin to beat the ... More >>

NFL Network Accuses Brandon Marshall of "dogging it"

One handed catch? That's reprehensible! ​A trio of NFL Network analysts recently broke down the final minutes of last week's Dolphins-Jets game and came to the conclusion that Miami receiver Brandon Marshall was either tired, dogging it, or simply the worst human person walking on the face of the ... More >>

Dolphins Host the Patriots Tonight: Keys To Victory

Last week, it was against the Jets on Sunday Night Football. Tonight, it's the Patriots on Monday Night Football. That's two straight weeks the Dolphins face an AFC East rival in the national spotlight. Also, it's two straight weeks they face a team with an insufferable fanbase. So tonight is a must ... More >>

Dolphins Take Down Packers in Overtime

​Your Miami Dolphins were able to outlast an undermanned Green Bay Packers in a 23-20 overtime win on the road. As usual, the Dolphins kept things interesting, allowing an injury-riddled Packers team to keep things closer than they really should've been. Probably because the Dolphins didn't want t ... More >>

Dolphins Beat Bengals to Remain Perfect On The Road

​The Miami Dolphins remain perfect on the road after traveling into Cincinnati and taking down the Bengals 22-14 on Sunday. They're now 4-0 on the road, and 4-3 on the season. That's the good news. The bad news? The Dolphins offense flat out refuses to score touchdowns. Dan Carpenter just kicked a ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Reportedly Interested in Signing Randy Moss

Moon over Miami? ​Randy Moss sure has had a weird season. The day after the Patriots came to Miami and handed the Dolphins their dorsal tails, he was cut from the team. He ended back in Minnesota, where he just didn't gel with Brett Favre (not that anyone wants to "gel" with Favre lately). Today t ... More >>

Dolphins Suffer First Road Loss

​The Miami Dolphins lost their first road game of the season Sunday, falling 26-10 to the Baltimore Ravens, a team that is exactly like the Dolphins in every way except without all the interceptions and missed tackles and special teams blunders and dropped passes. The Dolphins are now 4-4 on the s ... More >>

25 People, Animals or Things We'd Rather See Play QB Than Tyler Thigpen

Last night, in perhaps the most dire example of the Marino Curse ever, the Miami Dolphins suffered only their second shutout on their home field in the past 40 years in a 16-0 pummeling by the Chicago Bears. Yes, with Brandon Marshall went out with a hamstring injury. And, yes, the coaching was part ... More >>

Dolphins Pummeled, Shutout by Bears

​On a night where the NFL Network previewed an upcoming documentary on Bill Parcells and his football genius, the Dolphins team he built was busy rushing for 39 total-yards and throwing for 187 on their way to their first shutout loss in three seasons. The Dolphins were manhandled and dominated in ... More >>

Dolphins Lose Sixth Home Game of Season, Playoffs are DOA

​With Sunday's 17-14 loss to the lowly Buffalo Bills, it looks like the Miami Dolphins have managed to cobble together yet another season of rampant incompetence. The loss killed whatever feeble hopes Miami had on making the playoffs, putting their record at 7-7 and giving them their sixth ho ... More >>

Brandon Marshall Being Sued By Former Dolphin Over Real Estate Dispute

​I don't know why anyone would want to live in Southwest Ranches, the bizarre rural-themed town way out in the west part of bumfuck Broward County, but two Dolphins stars of past and present are now in a legal dispute over a home in the area. The Sun-Sentinel reports that Patrick Surtain, a former ... More >>

Brandon Marshall Isn't All That Fired Up About Chad Henne

​All season long we heard Brandon Marshall going to bat for Chad Henne during press conferences and post game interviews. No matter how shitty Henne played, Marshall insisted that the duo would be a force to be reckoned with once their chemistry got right. Well now that the season is all but ... More >>

Hurricanes Hire Jedd Fisch as Offensive Coordinator

​Al Golden has said he was going to hire his offensive coordinator from the NFL to guide the Hurricane's traditional pro-style offense, and according to reports he's selected Seattle Seahawks quarterbacks coach Jedd Fisch for the job. The hiring hasn't been made official, but the team's official T ... More >>

So, When is Brandon Marshall Joining the Heat?

​Back in August Miami Dolphins wide reciever Brandon Marshall said he'd start pursuing an NBA career if there was an NFL lockout. Well, the lockout is here. Chad Ochocinco has already made plans to join a Major League Soccer team, and one member of the Cowboys has returned to Areana Football. So M ... More >>

Brandon Marshall Stabbing 911 Tape Released

​Late Friday night, talented but troubled Miami Dolphins wide receiver Brandon Marshall wound up at Broward General Medical Center, while his wife, Michi Nogami-Marshall, was held in jail for allegedly stabbing the superstar in the gut. Today the Broward Sheriff's Office released the 911 ... More >>

Don't Worry, Brandon Marshall, You Didn't Make Our Top 10 Stupidest Athlete Injuries of All Time

miamidolphins.comBrandon Marshall, just the latest athlete to get injured under strange circumstances.​"If you prick a baller, does he not bleed?" -- William ShakespeareProfessional athletes are finely tuned machines: millions of dollars' worth of ESPN-highlight-generating speed, torque, power, an ... More >>

Miami Dolphins Draft Florida Center Mike Pouncey

​The NFL Draft was last night. And in keeping with the tradition of playing it safe, the Miami Dolphins used their fifteenth overall draft pick to select center Mike Pouncey from the University of Florida.It isn't an especially noteworthy or exciting pick, unless you have a thing for spending your ... More >>

Brandon Marshall Refuses to Talk to Police About Stabbing Incident

​Miami is riding high on a heat wave, but it's only a matter of months until we're forced to turn our attention to the glum Dolphins (baring of course a cancellation of the season). Their off season has been highlighted by misery, none more dramatic than Brandon Marshall being hospitalized aft ... More >>

Plaxico Burress: A Good Fit for the Dolphins?

​Dolphins fans have a right to be concerned about Brandon Marshall's play last season and the legal situation stemming form his wife stabbing him in the gut with a kitchen knife, but is the best solution to that really signing a guy who just got out of a jail yesterday after serving two years for ... More >>

NFL's List of Top 100 Players in 2011 Includes 3 Dolphins, 10 Former Hurricanes

​The NFL recently unveiled its list of the top 100 players for the 2011 season, and at least one football team in town is really, uncontrollably, super excited about it. No, it's not the one that actually plays in the NFL. The Dolphins placed three players on the list, but the Miami Hurr ... More >>

Plaxico Burress Really Wants to Join the Dolphins

​Could the Miami Dolphins have one of the most elite receiving corps in the NFL year with Plaxico Burress and Brandon Marshall? Well, that's certainly a recipe for one of the most controversial receiving corps, and we also have to wonder if the Fins will have a QB reliable enough to actually pass ... More >>

Brandon Marshall Stabbing Details: Bloody Kitchen Knife, Gun Clip Found by Police

Details emerge about Marshall's strange April 22 stabbing.​After giving conflicting statements about the Dolphin wide receiver's bizarre April 22 stabbing, neither Brandon Marshall nor his wife Michi Nogomi-Marshall were convicted of a crime. But the release of documents yesterday leaves the door ... More >>

Dolphins Fall To 0-4: It's Suck For Luck Time!

​The Miami Dolphins did that thing again where they play like their scrotums are stapled to their thighs, this time losing 26-16 to the San Diego Chargers. In the process, they lost Chad Henne to a shoulder injury, forcing backup Matt Moore to step in and do exactly what Henne's been doing: namely ... More >>

Vontae Davis Showed Up to Dolphins Practice Drunk

​Vontae Davis, the Dolphin's 2009 first-round draft pick, didn't play in Sunday's game. Rumors sparks that that Davis was left back at home because he got into a fight with Brandon Marshall, but apparently that's not true. Or at least it's not the full truth. Apparently, Davis was actually sidelin ... More >>

Dolphins Lose On Thanksgiving Day

Your Miami Dolphins played in yesterday's Thanksgiving Day game against the Dallas Cowboys and lost, ending their three-game winning streak and putting their playoff hopes on life support with someone standing by ready to smother it with a pillow. The Dolphins defense did what it could, intercepting ... More >>

Brandon Marshall Handcuffed for Not Paying $142 Cab Fair

​Miami Dolphins wide receiver Brandon Marshall has found himself on the wrong side of the law yet again. This time, it's for allegedly not paying a hefty cab fair. Marshall was not arrested in the incident, but was handcuffed and put in the back of a Broward County Sheriff's deputy car.

Igor Olshansky Arrested on Pot Charges a Day After Being Released from Dolphins

​Former Miami Dolphins defensive end Igor Olshansky was having a bad week. A calf injury forced him to miss the Thanksgiving Day game against the Cowboys, and the team rewarded him by releasing him on Wednesday. All the dude wanted to do was get a little high after a tough work week, but the ... More >>

2012 Resolutions: From Hank Adorno to Donna Shalala to Sid Rosenberg

Let's face it. For most of us, keeping a New Year's resolution is as likely as the Miami Dolphins finally finding Dan Marino's successor in the draft.And some locals should look back on the past year with shameful regret.They could use a fresh start, so Banana Republican came up with some ideas to h ... More >>

After Pretty Much Single-Handedly Winning the Pro Bowl, Brandon Marshall Wants a Better QB in Miami

​There's a reason the Miami Dolphins pay Brandon Marshall all that money. He's a damn good wide receiver. That's a fact he reminded everyone of with his MVP performance in yesterday's Pro Bowl; the kind of performance we see far too little of when he's actually in a Dolphins jersey.After the game, ... More >>