A lot of weird things happen in Florida. We're here every Friday morning to give you the week's weirdest. This morning, that includes a meth-busting butt dial, bathroom beer chugging and the worst reason to call the cops.
A lot of weird things happen in Florida. We're here every Friday morning to give you the week's weirdest. This week, that includes meth-heads armed with a toilet, a babysitter who stabbed a DILF, and a gross story about butts in a Taco Bell that probably doesn't end how you think it will.
When Jennifer Ann Lee, 29, was found passed out behind the wheel at an intersection in Bradenton, Florida, she told a police officer that, "It happens." Well, yeah, when you've been huffing whippets all day all sorts of crazy things happen.
Next time you're sprawled out on a towel on South Bech or lying in a hammock under a palm tree on Key Biscayne, don't be alarmed if a man comes stumbling by wearing a backpack with more than 15 cameras sticking out in every direction. He's probably not a Girls Gone Wild perv, just a Google Street V ... More >>
Listen, if you're hungry for the D, don't actually try to bite into the D. That's what Krystle M. Harrison tried to do when her boyfriend refused to engage in sex and now she's sitting behind bars.
To Luis Brignoni Sr., it was either his son's pinky finger or Sassy, the family dog. He picked the pinky.Eleven-year-old Fernando Brignoni had stuck his finger in Sassy's cage. The Malamute-wolf mix bit down and refused to let go until she had severed the finger and swallowed it.
Florida has some of the nation's toughest anti-marijuana laws. For instance, anyone caught growing at least 25 plants in their home can be charged with a second-degree felony and face a maximum sentence of 15 years. Even the feds aren't that draconian. They at least give you 99 plants before chargin ... More >>
People apparently love watching idiots annoy random strangers on You Tube, sure, but it turns out that people don't actually love being annoyed and assaulted by random strangers for YouTube videos.Charles Ross, 18, has a popular You Tube channel that has racked up close to five million hits in which ... More >>
It's a common scene in prison movies set in the deep South: A line of inmates, chained together and decked out in bright orange jumpsuits, dutifully picking up trash or digging a ditch by the side of a dusty road as a shotgun-toting sheriff watches over them through tinted aviator sunglasses.The cha ... More >>
He's a platinum-selling rapper and movie star. He gets $90 out of your IRA every time you buy a Vitamin Water. He won a rumored $4-million lawsuit against Taco Bell, a hardworking group of first-generation Mexican-Americans who are guilty only of figuring out how to make both tacos and Doritos more ... More >>
Tampa's strip club industry is preparing for a cash-making bonanza next week as tens of thousands of Republicans come to town to blather on about family values all day before hitting Ybor City at night to get hammered and ogle some T&A. But Tampa police are drawing a line in the sand: GOP delega ... More >>
Here's yet another story of a Floridian ingesting some synthetic drugs and getting all naked and violent.Police in Bradenton say a man who shot off a Glock in his home and then ran around his apartment complex naked had been smoking synthetic marijuana, also known as K2.
See also "Six South Florida Athletes To Keep Tabs On During the Games" and "London 2012 Olympics: South Florida Athletes (Photos)"Something called "the Olympic Spirit" is in the air, and suddenly, we're suppose to care about equestrian sports and whether or not China is sending 10-year-olds to destr ... More >>
Florida is notorious for Medicare fraud, and we also have more than our fair share of food stamp fraud. At least Miami residents can console themselves with the fact that our food stamp defrauders are not as shameless as those in other states.EBT cards, modern-day food stamps, are being traded for c ... More >>
We're not sure that sex with a prostitute whose fee is two cheeseburgers would actually be worth it. In fact, maybe just eating the cheeseburgers ourselves would be a better use of our resources. How good could it be for two cheap burgers? We'll never know though, because the cheeseburger bugger is ... More >>
The Allman Brothers are legends of Southern rock. And they rep Georgia hard. But their Florida roots are stronger than a Daytona chrome pipe. Michael Allman, son of Rock and Roll Hall of Famer and guitar god Gregg Allman, tours all over America spreading his family's blend of roots, rock, and bl ... More >>
A Bradenton man was arrested in the wee hours of Thursday morning after trying to rob two men, getting pepper sprayed in the face, dropping his gun, running away -- and then came back to try to buy the gun back for $40. Only to get pepper sprayed in the face yet again.Oh, Florida.
There are only a handful of jobs where working under the influence of alcohol may be a benefit: stripper, news blogger, game show host. High school teacher certainly isn't one of them, as Bayshore High School's Anne Wampole has found out the hard way.
Ramos's dueling mug shots. Perhaps you remember the Broward County man who showed up to court for his trial on drug trafficking charges in a shirt that was printed with crack cocaine cooking instructions. He might have the upper hand in fashion, but in terms of pure ballsiness/stupidity, he has n ... More >>
In news that will shock no one who eats out on South Beach, parks in Brickell or tries to buy some influence with the Miami-Dade County Commission (those lobbying fees ain't cheap!), Miami has been honored this morning as one of the most overpriced towns in the nation.High unemployment, skyrocket ... More >>
via Florida Sex Offender RegistryGandhi LoraSeven years ago, an ex-Miami-Dade cop named Gandhi Lora was convicted of producing and possessing dozens of kiddie porn images, sent to prison, and forced to register as a sex offender. Today he's not only free but also still earning a $7,200-per-month ... More >>
Jantavia TaylorIf lesbians can't even keep it classy in Florida, there really is no hope for our state's weird-news reputation.Jantavia Taylor was arrested for felony domestic assault after allegedly trying to beat up her live-in girlfriend with a strap-on dildo. No, we don't mean "beat up" in an ... More >>
Natasha LarsonBradenton, Florida resident Natasha Larson really doesn't like her new husband's ex-wife, Tracy Wilder. So she decided to post ads on Craigslist while posing as the ex looking for men who would be interested in coming by and roughing Wilder up. Larson has now been arrested and faces ... More >>
"That voice just now-- what was it?"We like the idea that, in his final hours as the Florida Marlins manager, Edwin Rodriguez spent his time comforting relief pitchers who were terrified of ghosts. It'd be fitting for one of the youngest teams in baseball.
via Flickr walknbostonLooks like somebody threw up on the sidewalk.Yum. Look at that plump, juicy... sofa?You might be familiar with pica -- the disorder that leads people to eat stuff like soap, chalk, batteries, coins, hair, and dirt -- from watching the show My Strange Addiction on T ... More >>
Florida really is Heaven's waiting room. According to a new study by Portfolio.com, the Sunshine State is by far the most popular destination for retirees, which has major implications as the gigantic baby boomer population continues to enter retirement age. The good news for Miamians who hate ol ... More >>
In an age when the broadsheets are struggling and anyone can make their own mini-endorsements on Twitter or Facebook, do newspaper endorsements still matter? The Democratic Governor nominee better hope so. She's walked away with the support of every major newspaper's editorial board in the state. Th ... More >>
Florida's constitution strictly forbids gays from marrying, but what about the Sunshine State's straights? They're obviously doing such a fine job of upholding the sanctity of marriage, right? Apparently not so. The Daily Beast has compiled a list of "the 50 cities with the worst divorce rates," ... More >>
The Miami Heat's dance squad is the best in the NBA, and for many dancers getting to take to the hardwood at American Airline Arena is a dream come true. Sadly, Nancy G. Lopez-Ruiz will never get to make that debut. The 22-year-old had recently signed to the squad, but was killed in a tragic moto ... More >>
from the Sunshine State News ServiceSen. Bennett looking at porn on the Senate floorDuring the closing days of Florida's 2010 congressional session, Senators were fiercely debating a controversial bill that tells women and their doctors what to do with their bodies. Republican Sen. Mike Bennett o ... More >>
According to organizers, attendance at Americas Food & Beverage Show up 10%. [Herald]Australian reality-tv star Tabatha Coffey loves Cuban food and Cuban coffee. [NBCmiami]This blog beat the Herald on the Natural Choice Vending interview by over two months. [Herald] [ShortOrder]Miami company rel ... More >>
No, this isn't a temperature chart. The 20 weakest metros are dotted in red. Florida dominates the list of 20 metropolitan areas still struggling to make an economic turnaround. Eight Florida areas make up the bottom rung of worst-performing cities in Brooking's latest MetroMonitor Report.&n ... More >>
Rotten food donations leave Haitians hungry. [SunJournal]Wal Mart Stores experiments with latin themed super store Mas Club, while Winn Dixie adds signs in Spanish and stocks ethnic merchandise. [WallStreetJournal]Florida Chef Ron Duprat represents for Miami Haitians on upcoming season of Bravo's To ... More >>
"I am sad to report I lost a few brain cells while reading your article."
via Brookings InstituteFlorida is the only state that starts with an FHere's the bad news: According to a new study of the 100 most populous metro areas in America by the Brookings Institution, the Miami area, including the rest of South Florida, is one of the 20 economically weakest metro areas in ... More >>
Some of my favorite boondoggles over the years have involved the vast sums stupid companies have spent to fix what ain't broke. Our latest example is Tropicana, headquartered in Bradenton, Florida. In a classic act of desperation, the ailing orange juice producer decided to scrap its familiar, easy ... More >>
A lost art or a horrible slaughter? It's all in the eye of the hunter.
Our must-see picks for this year's edition.
Indira Lopez -Ruiz, a rape and molestation victim who's lost a child, was angry. Standing outside the Miami courthouse Wednesday just as prosecutors prepared to announce their guilty verdict in the Jessica Lunsford/John Couey case, the beautiful young woman scowled. She carried a sign with a pict ... More >>
Flamingo Park Tennis Center
He stumbled into a group of Muslim extremists with plans to attack America. Then he stumbled into Miami. Today Shaheed Mohamed is nowhere to be found.
Did you get your Herald today? Are you sure?
Ironbeer entrepreneur Pedro Blanco thought he had a fruitful contract to can Tropicana juice. Now all he's got is a bankrupt business.