Marlins fans can be forgiven for waking up every morning and thinking, "It can't possibly get any worse than this." The team has the worst record in baseball, the franchise is a rather un-hilarious joke and Loria is less popular than Castro. But oh, it can get worse. The consensus right now is that ... More >>
Step right up, meet your 2013 Miami Marlins, same as the 2012 Miami Marlins -- only completely different! If you're anything like me, you're angry, you're hurt, and you may or may not say to yourself during a jog, "Hey, that's a good place to hide a body named Jeffrey Loria!" But hear me out, we got ... More >>
The Marlins have pretty much traded away every notable player on the roster not named Giancarlo Stanton, and it appears that Jeffrey Loria and his staff might be prepared to let the young slugger go, too. For the right price that is.
There was a time in May, when the Heat were on their way to a championship, the Panthers had won their first ever division title, and the Marlins completed the best record that month in MLB, when we had a glimmer of hope (albeit somewhat tempered by the Dolphins) that this may be the first year sinc ... More >>
In what could be the second-largest trade in Major League Baseball history, reports are flying that the Marlins could be shipping stars Hanley Ramirez and Heath Bell to Boston in exchange for the Red Sox's Carl Crawford. USA Today is reporting the trade, and apparently the deal may come down to whet ... More >>
For the Marlins, June is the cruelest month. They've cemented a tradition in the past few seasons of starting off strong and seeing it all sink away in the sixth month. A revamped roster, new name, new stadium, and new manager couldn't stave off the June slump. They're 4-14 for the month after havin ... More >>
Much like Rodney Dangerfield, Ozzie Guillen gets no respect. A recent poll of 100 current MLB players by Men's Journal reveals that the Venezuelan loud mouth is the least respected baseball manager currently in the league. He ran away with the dishonor by a wide margin.
The Miami Marlins, who continue a homestand against the Atlanta Braves at Marlin Stadium tonight, have officially adopted a new pup to go along with their fancy new stadium, logo, name, and branding.Kayem Foods recently signed a multi-year contract with the team to be the official provider of all fr ... More >>
The Miami Marlins are only the third favorite baseball team of Floridians according to a new Quinnipiac poll. Which is quite odd once you remember Florida is only home to two major league baseball teams. In fact, Florida's favorite team doesn't even play in Florida. Yes, the New York Yankees actuall ... More >>
In the cable television equivalent of a librarian turning into a call girl, Bravo television has reinvented itself. It used to be the channel for quality television centered on the performing arts, now it's a channel filled with people who need their meds refilled (or the dosage upped). Top Chef con ... More >>
This is like the baseball fan's version of that time Beyonce went to Cheeseburger Baby.
I was in the courthouse district an hour or so ago when I saw the strangest thing: Baseball superstars David Ortiz and Jose Batista strolling down Northeast 1st Avenue, in full baseball uniform. It was extre ... More >>
Apparently James will never walk alone again. LeBron James is set to go global by buying a piece of one of the most storied soccer teams in the world. According to The Wall Street Journal, James is set to enter a deal with Fenway Sports Group that would give him a minority stake in the Liverpool ... More >>
Jeffrey Loria would have more World Series trophies if he wasn't a cheapskate.Watching Cody Ross rip through Major League Baseball's postseason got us
wondering about former Florida Marlins who have tasted sweet
success during the Fall Classic since the team won the World Series
in 2003.Watching ... More >>
Grumpy Old American Billionaires Fight Over Liverpool FCJohn W. Henry, the egomaniac ex-Marlins owner who handed out bobble-head dolls of himself at his own wedding, will likely win control of giant soccer club Liverpool FC later today. But not without fighting off last-minute legal challenges fr ... More >>
Can former Marlins owner John W. Henry lead Liverpool back to glory?John W. Henry, the geeky hedge fund manager and egomaniac who owned the Florida Marlins for three years, has just bought the sixth biggest soccer team in the entire world: Liverpool Football Club.Around England, the news comes as ... More >>
Historically speaking, he's still in the Asshole Minor Leagues.So Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has apologized-- after much coercion--for not running after a kicked ball and then lashing out at his teammates and manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's been reinstated into his God-given spot in the ... More >>
Somewhere in a New York penthouse right now, Jeffrey Loria is angrily straightening a Picasso on his wall, swigging a vintage Chianti, and cursing loudly.via Hazboy's flickrWhy wouldn't you fire the best manager in baseball?His Marlins have missed the playoffs yet again. And Loria has decided it ... More >>
Poor Mike Lowell. The Miami native has already been through a lot. In between World Series wins with the Marlins and Boston, he endured testicular cancer, a massive John Henry fire sale, and a badly fractured hand.via Amazon.comBut now he has really invited a true stain on his good name: He gave ... More >>
Marlins fans: You might want to grab a barf bag before you read this one.via SportsbyBrooks.comRemember John Henry? The guy with the pretentious eyeglasses who bought the Marlins from Wayne Huizenga in 1999 and then waffled around for three mediocre seasons before selling out and heading to Boston? ... More >>
The Marlins' recent cakewalk against the beasts of the AL East revealed that Josh Johnson is a Cy Young contender, Chris Coghlan is a talented lead-off hitter, and after going 6-3 against Toronto, Boston, and New York, the Marlins are actually pretty good.
Oh, and Matt Lindstrom needs to be rem ... More >>
Some of the largest crowds of the season are expected at Land Shark Stadium when the Marlins take on the Yankees this weekend and the Marlins' brass hopes to earn some serious coin. Fans interested in catching a glimpse of a 2003 World Series rematch will be subjected to big ticket price hikes.
Acc ... More >>
For the 500th consecutive game, Boston's Fenway Park was sold out, and if the Red Sox continue to play like they did in Wednesday's 6-1 victory over the Marlins, they will sell out 500 more.
The Red Sox certainly weren't spectacular, but they capitalized on every opportunity the Marlins handed them ... More >>
The Florida Marlins kicked off their AL East six-game gauntlet by losing to the Red Sox 8-2 in a brisk game that lasted just two and a half hours, but was over long before that.
Starter Chris Volstad, who took the loss and fell to 4-7, threw well for three innings but was greeted in the fourth ... More >>
When fans at the University of Miami's Mark Light Stadium heard the first ominous tolls of AC/DC's "Hell's Bells," they knew closer Kyle Bellamy would soon appear to finish the opponent with a dizzying array of sinkers and sliders. By drafting him in the fifth round on Tuesday, the White Sox hope to ... More >>
Most high school graduates are frantically searching for summer jobs or shopping for dorm room essentials. Chad James, Bryan Berglund, and Marquise Cooper won't have to worry about selling popcorn at movie theaters or cutting grass for neighbors because they have the option to play professional base ... More >>