Boston Celtics

Beantown Beatdown

The Heat's Winning Streak Hits 22, the Second-Longest Ever, With Victory Over Raptors

For a moment on this lazy Sunday afternoon in Toronto, it seemed as though it might all end for the Miami Heat exactly where it began. For a moment. With the game tied at 77 early in the fourth, the Heat turned on, well, the heat, blasting off on a 28-4 run to help secure a win for the 22nd straight ... More >>

Heat Beat Celtics 120-107 in Season Opener, Receive Championship Rings

Aqui lo que importa es el CASH! Oh my, that is pretty. Isn't that pretty, Celtics/Knicks/Lakers fans? Look at that beautiful thing. How fuckin' glorious.Your Miami Heat received these lovely, diamond-encrusted CHAMPIONSHIP rings last night just before their 120-107 dismantling of last year's Eastern ... More >>

Ray (Allen) of Hope

Celtics Coach Literally Brainwashing Team Into Hating the Miami Heat

Smarting from yet another season ending playoff defeat to the Miami Heat, Boston Celtics coach Doc Rivers has unveiled his main focus for the offseason: installing pure hate for the Miami Heat deep inside the heart of every single member of the Celtics team.Uh, yeah, brainwashing your underlinings i ... More >>

Miami Heat's 2012-13 Schedule Released: Boston Opens The Year, OKC Comes At Christmas

Last season, the Miami Heat tied with San Antonio to capture the best home record in the league, and next season they'll be playing 14 of their first 22 games at home. So hopefully they'll have no trouble getting off to a quick start. In addition to playing the first game of the season at home ... More >>

Ray Allen Considering Signing with the Heat

From being part of one big three to backing up another?Boston Celtics shooting guard Ray Allen's contract is up. If he doesn't end up back in green, ESPN New York reports that the ten-time All Star would heavily consider signing with the Heat. Apparently there aren't hard feelings that his team just ... More >>

Heat Are Eastern Conference Champions, Will Face Oklahoma City in NBA Finals

After blowing up the Boston Celtics Big Three Era (for the second straight season) in last night's 101-88 Game 7 triumph, the Miami Heat are headed to their second-straight NBA Finals. The Big Three known as LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh scored Miami's final 31 points, including all ... More >>

Miami vs. Boston Trash Talk: Our Heat Homer and Celtics Fanatic Get Ugly

Tonight, at last, it ends: Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals starts at 8:30 p.m., and it may well destroy the world as we know it. Okay, the game may only result in the destruction of a few TV sets and cars in the greater Boston and Miami areas, but it'll still be a clash of teams that aren't ... More >>

LeBron James' 45 Points Lead Heat Over Celtics, Force Game 7

Brilliant.Extraordinary.Artist.Devastator.Maestro.Cobradick.

The Search For Boston's Classiest Celtics Fan

Like the band playing on as the Titanic sank, what remained of the rapidly dissipating crowd last night at TD Garden took to their feet and chanted "Let's Go Celtics." A display that will probably be twisted as proof positive that Boston fans are superior in every way to Miami fans. At first our onl ... More >>

The Heat Is Off: A Celtics Fan Finds No Foes in Miami Beach

Was I in the right place?Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals had just started, and the denizens of On The Rocks Sports Bar in Miami Beach couldn't give a shit. Well, that's not entirely true. The older woman seated to my right at the bar -- with her baby blue nails and sweaty glass of white wine ... More >>

Heat Choke Away Game 5, One Loss Away From Elimination

Holy fucking ass clenching horsefuckery, this team!!The Miami Heat had everything in its favor. A game at home. A 13-point lead in the second quarter. A 9-point lead in the third. The Boston Celtics stars struggling on offense. A chance to go up 3-2 and force Boston to win two games in a row.And yet ... More >>

Heat Drop Two in Boston as Series Goes 2-2

The Miami Heat went into Boston over the weekend and promptly took a giant shit all over their season, as they allowed the Undead Celtics to fight their way back into the Eastern Conference Finals and knot things up at two games apiece. Games 3 and 4 were near mirror images of each other as the Heat ... More >>

Celtics Fans Planning Masked Protest of NBA Referees

Do you think Boston fans are blaming Wednesday's Celtics loss on the weak play of team's veteran core? No, of course not. They're blaming it on the refs. That's just what Boston Celtics fans do. They may have a long list of rivalries with other actual teams, but everyone knows the uniform they despi ... More >>

Heat Overcome Rajon Rondo, Take Game 2 in OT

The Miami Heat aren't going to make this easy. Assholes. The Heat overcame a sluggish start, a dickload of missed free throws, a motivated undead Celtics team, and an All-World epic playoff performance from Rajon Rondo to get their 115-111 overtime win over Boston and take a 2-0 lead in th ... More >>

Heat Take Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals

The Miami Heat are three wins away from their second consecutive trip to the NBA Finals after taking down the Boston Celtics 93-79 last night.And while the rest of the world seethes in furious anger in their unbridled and irrational hatred at this news, perhaps even blaming LeBron James for that guy ... More >>

Heat Loses to the Celtics at Home, Falls Three Games Behind Number One Seed

LeBron James scored a game-high 36 points last night, while the rest of the Miami Heat stood and watched as the Boston Celtics shot 60 percent from the floor in yet another listless-shit-the-bed-let's-all-go-outside-and-punt-a-litter-of-kittens-loss by the Heat.Rajon Rondo once again had his way aga ... More >>

Can We Start the Playoffs Already?

They’re Baaa-aaack

2011-12 Heat Schedule Released: Mavs Rematch Set For Christmas Day

​The NBA has released its 2012 schedule (assuming the lockout doesn't delay play), and the Miami Heat will kick off its season at Madison Square Garden against the Knicks. The team will also be working on Christmas Day this year in an NBA Finals rematch against the Dallas Mavericks in an away game ... More >>

Miami Heat Say Celtics Set the Big Three Blueprint

​The Boston Celtics are just a single game away from playoff elimination at the hands of the Miami Heat, and LeBron James would just like to say "thank you." Not for proving to be a pretty beatable team, but for providing the inspiration that three superstar players all suiting up for one team cou ... More >>

Heat Playoffs: Heat Take Down Celtics in Overtime

​They had to overcome overtime, bad officiating, the national media's sudden infatuation with a one-armed man, "retarded-gate," Chris Bosh's supposed "softness," LeBron James' inability to close out games, a losing streak in Boston that's lasted since 2007, and a building full of obnoxious fans, b ... More >>

Heat Playoffs: Celtics Strike Back

The Douche Strikes Back!​After roughly 5,836 days in between games, the Miami Heat finally resumed their Eastern Conference semi-final series against the Celtics in Boston. The end result wasn't as awesome as Games 1 and 2, in that the Heat got creamed pretty badly.But the good news is Erik Spoels ... More >>

"That's Retarded": LeBron's Latest Flub

​The word "retard": America just doesn't know what to do with it. True, we should probably retire it for good from our vocabulary, but lets be honest: Many of us normal, untelevised folk still use it pretty regularly. And the Black Eyed Peas had a hit song with "retarded" in the title, for chr ... More >>

Seven Reasons the Miami Heat Deserve to Finish off the Boston Celtics

​The Miami Heat travel to Boston tomorrow to try and begin finishing off the Boston Celtics in round two of the NBA playoffs. Yet, the team still can't shake it's perception of the villains, and lots of Heat haters will be rooting for the Celtics to pull off a comeback out of spite. Yet, the histo ... More >>

Heat Playoffs: LeBron & D-Wade Take Over, Heat Take 2-0 Lead Over Celtics

​Dwyane Wade did a vicious Euro-step crossover on Kevin Garnett that transcended all time and space, and left KG a smoking heap of charred douche. Moments later, Wade crossed over Ray Allen so badly, Allen simply crumpled onto the court like his spine was removed from his body.Later on, LeBron Jam ... More >>

The Celtics' Team Bus Was Robbed in Miami

​Some whiny Celtics fans are complaining that their team got robbed in the first two games of their playoff series against the Heat. Whatever. They're Boston sports fans. They're apt to whine. Though, the team did literally get robbed in Miami last month. According to reports, someone had boarded ... More >>

Heat Playoffs: Wade Drops 38 as Heat Take Game 1 Against Boston

​And in other news.... Dwyane Wade is still pretty amazing.The Miami Heat took the 99-90 Game 1 win over the Boston Celtics in their Eastern Conference Semi-final hoedown.D-Wade dropped 38 points, James Jones added a career playoff high 25 off the bench, and Paul Pierce was ejected with seven minu ... More >>

Heat Beat Celtics, Take No. 2. Seed

LeAss Beatin'​Entering this season, the expectation for the Miami Heat was that they'd give the Boston Celtics a run for their money, and topple them as the best team in the Eastern Conference. But then the Celtics beat Miami three times, taking Suck to a whole other level. Expectations became so ... More >>

Green with Envy

Defense Helps Heat Rally Past Pistons

​There are nights when the Miami Heat completely annihilate an inferior opponent and leave them buried in their wake of awesomeness by twenty or thirty points. Last night was not one of those nights.The Heat had to rally hard and overcome an eleven-point deficit in last night's 100-94 win over the ... More >>

Despite Late-Game Rally, Heat Lose to Boston for Third-Straight Time

​The Miami Heat entered today's game against the Boston Celtics with a chance to take sole possession of first place in the East. They also entered the game riding a pretty nifty eight game-winning streak. But those things quickly turned to the proverbial mound of cat turd as the C's held off ... More >>

Heat Fall to the Celtics, Drop to 5-4

​"It's reality now. The chemistry isn't at the level of these good teams." So said LeBron James following the Heat's 112-107 loss the Boston Celtics Thursday night at the American Airlines Arena. The Heat have now dropped 13 of the last 14 regular season meetings to the Celtics, have fallen t ... More >>

As Heat Prepare for Celtics Tonight, Hater Schadenfreude Blows Up The Internet

Let's hate these three with everything we got. Ready? 1, 2, 3... HATE!!!​The Miami Heat host the Boston Celtics tonight at the American Airlines Arena. But did you know Miami is 5-3 eight games into the 2010-11 NBA season? They are! And because they've turned into The Most Irrationally Reviled Tea ... More >>

Home Advantage

If Miami Heat Lose, Hollywood Bar Will Pick Up Your Tab

This woman is drunk. So too can you be-- for free.Hollywood's Whiskey Tango All-American Bar & Grill is betting that the Miami Heat don't lose a game all season. The bar has pledged to pick up your drinks tab -- up to $25 -- if the Heat lose. The only rule is that patrons have to sign in at the ... More >>

Miami Heat To Start Season in Boston, Face Lakers on Christmas Day

​The Three Kings will start their quest to utterly destroy all other NBA teams with their awesomeness in Boston. The NBA leaked parts of its 2010-11 schedule last night, and it has the Miami Heat opening their season against the defending Eastern Conference Champion Boston Celtics. And, in a game ... More >>

NBA Playoffs: The Heat Takes a First-Round Exit

​Led by sharp-shooting Ray Allen's 24 points, the Boston Celtics put the Miami Heat away last night 96-86, closing out the series and ending the Heat's season and OH MY GOD, DWYANE WADE, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!!!It's the Heat's second straight first-round exit. In fact, the team hasn't taken a playoff ... More >>

NBA Playoffs: Miami Heat Wins Big in Game Four

​Greatness is forged through adversity: when one's back is against the wall, when one is faced with a do-or-die situation, or when someone keeps reminding everybody that WE JUST MIGHT BE WITNESSING HIS LAST GAME IN A HEAT UNIFORM!Dwayne Wade is greatness. Even when besieged with the burden of bein ... More >>

Ten Possibly Immoral Ways The Heat Could Beat the Celtics

via Keith Allison/ Wiki Commons cc2.0​Things aren't looking too good for our beloved Miami Heat in the playoffs right now. Especially after their disastrous 106-77 loss to the Celtics on Tuesday. Even an inspired performance by Dwyane Wade can't ensure a win. Sure, we'll get ho ... More >>

Game Two of the NBA Playoffs: Miami Heat vs. Boston Celtics: Epic Fail

​In a game that could only described as "refried ass, " the Miami Heat were walloped by the Boston Celtics 106-77 in last night's game two of the first round NBA Playoffs. The Heat managed to keep things close in the first quarter, rebounding after a slow start and even managing to take the lead f ... More >>

It's Dwyane Wade vs. the Boston Celtics in Round One of the NBA Playoffs

Listen, if you've been stashing singles every day since the beginning of the regular season for some big playoff bet, it wouldn't be entirely ill advised to go against your hometeam Miami Heat instincts and take the Boston Celtics to win in the first round of the 2010 NBA Playoffs. Blasphemy? What? ... More >>

Miami Heat Tied for Fifth Spot in the Playoffs

​We laid out the scenario for how the Heat could move up in the playoff rankings, and everything seems to be going as planned. The team is now tied with Bucs for the fifth spot, after beating the Knicks 111-98. Nice way to rebound from Friday's home loss to the Pistons, which put a crimp in their ... More >>

Clip Those Wings

The Guys From the Gah-den

Garnett in Green

One of the greats, finally relevant.

Green With Envy

The Pluck of the Irish