In what is becoming a trend, the Heat once again Tuesday night played a game you would like to punt into a canal, jump in after it, drag it to the bottom, and put it under a rock like an alligator. Except they won this time, 93-86. Yeah, the Celtics are sucky, but a win is a win, right?
Meet your new Miami Heat, much like your old Miami Heat. On the night the Miami Heat received their championship rings and raised the third championship banner, they also managed to fit in a basketball game, taking the season opener against the Chicago Bulls 107-95. Seven players scored in double fi ... More >>
We cool now, Heat fans? LeBron and Wade came into the Staples Center last night, dropped their shorts and proceeded to Danza-slap every Lakers player, coach and fan in attendance with a 99-90 victory that was ALL D-Wade and Cobradick.The Heat were the real stars in attendance despite the presence of ... More >>
Here's the good news, Heat fans: The LA Lakers are now probably once again the most hated team in the NBA, as it should be. Here's the bad news, Heat fans: The Lakers now have a super team with the addition of Dwight Howard that could rival the Heat.
Get your pots and pans out, Miami. Your Miami Heat are 2012 NBA World Champions!
Riptide has had ESPN on and off of mute all morning. The TV listings say it's just regular ol' SportsCenter, but as far as we can tell "The LeBron James Blow Job Marathon" would be just as apt a title. In fact, the TV talking heads, newspaper writers and bloggers have finally completed a total about ... More >>
In the annals of human history, people discuss three seminal events: the discovery of fire, the invention of the submarine, and LeBron James always punching the entire city of New York in the asshole. It seemed as if Madison Square Garden would be James's undoing last night. His first three quarters ... More >>
He blew past Shalom Dreampeace Compost. He wrecked Rockwell C. Bonecutter. He demolished Ebeneezer Noonoo. Now a 19-year-old from Florida with the mind-blowing moniker of Courvoisier Winetavious Richardson is just one round away from winning the coveted title of Name of the Year -- the wildly pop ... More >>
With the NBA playoffs just a few weeks away, it's that time of year when we get a whole lotta Dwayne Wade and his towering deeds of heroic awesomeness all up in our faces. And even though D-Wade has made his name around these parts as a pretty righteous ass-kicker, it's comforting to know he's go ... More >>
Back in October (when NBA championships are totally decided), ESPN columnist and consummate Heat Dick-Biter, Bill Simmons, wrote that the Big Three's biggest problem will be when they hit the road, because everyone hates them and that makes them all sad: I could see the Heat running the slate [ ... More >>
Cleveland fans booed mercilessly. They held up signs that read "Quitness" and "Liar Baby Jerk." ESPN's Bill Simmons said LeBron James and the Heat just wouldn't be ready for the heavy doses of venom they would receive from the Cavaliers fans. It was going to be an ugly, raucous atmosphere that the H ... More >>
Let's hate these three with everything we got. Ready? 1, 2, 3... HATE!!!The Miami Heat host the Boston Celtics tonight at the American Airlines Arena. But did you know Miami is 5-3 eight games into the 2010-11 NBA season? They are! And because they've turned into The Most Irrationally Reviled Tea ... More >>
How do you respond when one of your biggest rivals calls you a lap dog, arrogant and questions your competitiveness? By completely smashing them in the face with your awesomeness and beating the crap out of them by 26 points. That's one way to go about it. And, coincidentally enough, that's the r ... More >>