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Blogs
November 4, 2011
Carlos Noriega Is Done As Beach Chief; Bid Him Farewell By Remembering His Biggest Screw Ups
The reign of Miami Beach Police Chief Carlos Noriega is all but officially over. The chief was scheduled to retire on December 31st, but City Manager Jorge Gonzalez has announced that the chief will use his leftover vacation days, and has now officially relinquished control of the department. As ... More >>
Calendar
November 3, 2011
Fins or Skins
The reign of Miami Beach Police Chief Carlos Noriega is all but officially over. The chief was scheduled to retire on December 31st, but City Manager Jorge Gonzalez has announced that the chief will use his leftover vacation days, and has now officially relinquished control of the department. As ... More >>
Blogs
October 3, 2011
Dolphins Fall To 0-4: It's Suck For Luck Time!
The Miami Dolphins did that thing again where they play like their scrotums are stapled to their thighs, this time losing 26-16 to the San Diego Chargers. In the process, they lost Chad Henne to a shoulder injury, forcing backup Matt Moore to step in and do exactly what Henne's been doing: namely ... More >>
Blogs
September 26, 2011
Dolphins Wait Until Last Possible Moment To Crap Themselves
The Miami Dolphins dominated pretty much every facet of the game against the Cleveland Browns yesterday, including rushing and passing yards. They even held a 16-10 lead with 43 seconds remaining.But because these are the Dolphins, they decided to go ahead and do that thing where they go all epic ... More >>
Blogs
September 19, 2011
To The Amazement of Absolutely Nobody, Dolphins Fall to 0-2
The Amazing Shitshow! that is your Miami Dolphins fell to the Houston Texans for the sixth straight time in a 23-13 ass-whoopin' yesterday afternoon. The Dolphins are now 0-2 to start the season, have lost eleven of it's last twelve games at home, can't convert a third down for dick, and are the ... More >>
Blogs
April 12, 2011
Bill Parcells Thinks He Did an Awesome Job With the Dolphins, Except for That Pat White Pick
Six months ago, Bill Parcells packed up his office -- the one with "Vice President of Football Operations" painted on the door -- at Miami Dolphins headquarters and hasn't really looked back. The jury on Parcells's legacy in Miami is still out. At best, he turned a horrible team into a ... More >>
Blogs
March 22, 2011
Chad Henne Danced In Fake Boobs On His Vacation
The Robot assimilating with humans. You're doing it wrong, Robot!TMZ has pictures of Dolphins quarterback Chad Henne dancing around with fake boobs on his vacation in the Bahamas.And because the Dolphins are a shrill, smug, stuffy organization (because they like to think they're the New England P ... More >>
Blogs
January 19, 2011
Bill Parcells Almost Hired Rex Ryan as Dolphins' Head Coach
Rex Ryan is high on the hate list of most Miami sports fans. In his tenure as head coach with the Jets, he's managed to find innovative, almost unbelievable ways to make the team even trashier. Yet former Dolphin's exec Bill Parcells admits that Ryan was his second choice to coach in Miami. Inste ... More >>
Blogs
January 3, 2011
So What Now For the Miami Dolphins?
Last week, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross gave his vote of confidence to head coach Tony Sparano. The consensus has been that Sparano would keep his job, despite the team's second consecutive losing season. Mainly because the players love and respect him. And even though Sunday's game against the New E ... More >>
News
December 30, 2010
Miami's dirty dozen of 2010
Last week, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross gave his vote of confidence to head coach Tony Sparano. The consensus has been that Sparano would keep his job, despite the team's second consecutive losing season. Mainly because the players love and respect him. And even though Sunday's game against the New E ... More >>
Blogs
December 30, 2010
Tony Sparano's Job is Safe... For Now
It looks like Tony Sparano may hold onto his job as the Dolphins head coach after all, and, interestingly, that Bill Parcells still has some sway in the organization. Former Raiders executive Mike Lombardi reported on Inside the NFL last night that sources close to the team say Parcells has convi ... More >>
Blogs
December 24, 2010
George Alan Rekers: Dirty Dozen 2010
Each year, New Times puts together a list of the sketchiest politicians and unholiest celebrities and weirdest human beings to call the Magic City home. So who made the filthy cut this year? We're releasing the names one by one ahead of next week's issue, which comes with a full-page illustra ... More >>
Blogs
December 24, 2010
Jeffrey Loria: Dirty Dozen 2010
Each year, New Times puts together a list of the sketchiest politicians and unholiest celebrities and weirdest human beings to call the Magic City home. So who made the filthy cut this year? We're releasing the names one by one ahead of next week's issue, which comes with a full-page illustra ... More >>
Blogs
December 23, 2010
Bill Parcells: Dirty Dozen 2010
Each year, New Times puts together a list of the sketchiest politicians and unholiest celebrities and weirdest human beings to call the Magic City home. So who made the filthy cut this year? We're releasing the names one by one ahead of next week's issue, which comes with a full-page illustra ... More >>
Calendar
December 9, 2010
Same As It Ever Was
Each year, New Times puts together a list of the sketchiest politicians and unholiest celebrities and weirdest human beings to call the Magic City home. So who made the filthy cut this year? We're releasing the names one by one ahead of next week's issue, which comes with a full-page illustra ... More >>
Blogs
November 26, 2010
Will the Dolphins Replace Tony Sparano With Jon Gruden?
With the Miami Dolphins apparently in the midst of a total implosion, it was only a matter of time before someone began whispering about the future of head coach Tony Sparano. Well, today Greg Cote dropped the bomb that a source tells him Sparano's job might be in trouble, but only if Jon Gruden ... More >>
Calendar
November 25, 2010
Tuna Melt
With the Miami Dolphins apparently in the midst of a total implosion, it was only a matter of time before someone began whispering about the future of head coach Tony Sparano. Well, today Greg Cote dropped the bomb that a source tells him Sparano's job might be in trouble, but only if Jon Gruden ... More >>
Blogs
November 19, 2010
Dolphins Pummeled, Shutout by Bears
On a night where the NFL Network previewed an upcoming documentary on Bill Parcells and his football genius, the Dolphins team he built was busy rushing for 39 total-yards and throwing for 187 on their way to their first shutout loss in three seasons. The Dolphins were manhandled and dominated in ... More >>
Blogs
October 19, 2010
Bill Parcells Has Left The Building
ESPN is reporting that Miami Dolphins football czar Bill Parcells has packed his bags and moved out of the Dolphins offices. The Dolphins, of course, knew that Parcells was on his way out. But it seems that no one anticipated it to be this soon. Because why would they? Reports out of Dolphins cam ... More >>
Blogs
September 7, 2010
Jeff Ireland Assumes Control of Dolphins from Bill Parcells
It's not quite "retirement" number four for the Big Tuna, but Bill Parcells took one step out the door of the Miami Dolphins' front office today. The team announced that the now-former VP of football will step down to a consultant position, while general manager Jeff Ireland will take total contr ... More >>
Blogs
September 1, 2010
The Monday Night Football Guys Think Highly of the Miami Dolphins
ESPN's Monday Night Football analysts Ron Jaworski and Jon Gruden held a conference call today to preview the upcoming season and both think the Miami Dolphins are going to beat the odds and play well into January. While pretty much the rest of the planet thinks Miami will finish third in the AFC ... More >>
Blogs
May 21, 2010
Jason Taylor Says Jets More "Calm," "Positive" Than Dolphins
via Sports MonarchIs Big Tuna the boss from hell?In 1997, when Bill Parcells was engineering a turnaround of the New York Jets, the New York Times said he was a man of two sides. One that was "loyal, brilliant, passionate, caring and uncomplicated," and another that was "bullying, manipulative, n ... More >>
Blogs
April 22, 2010
NFL Draft Live-Blog
Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>
Blogs
April 20, 2010
Jason Taylor Headed to the Jets: Who Betrayed Whom?
The saga of Jason Taylor's off-season has finally come to an end. The linebacker -- who spent 12 seasons with the Dolphins (six of those as a Pro Bowler), was active in the South Florida community, and was one of the franchise's most popular players, even during low points -- is set to join the r ... More >>
Blogs
January 19, 2010
Report: Mike Nolan Signs as Dolphins Defensive Coordinator
After being turned down by their first two picks, the Miami Dolphins have signed Mike Nolan as their new defensive coordinator, according to FoxSports.com. Nolan resigned Monday from the same position with the Denver Broncos and was previously DC under Bill Parcells when he was general man ... More >>
Blogs
December 29, 2009
Top Ten of the Decade: Miami Sports Moments
Riptide 2.0's regular sports commentator and FinsNation blogger Chris Joseph looks back at the top ten Miami sports moments of the decade. Low points like the Miami Dolphins crappy performance and the after-thought known as the Florida Panthers didn't make the cut. Sorry. 10. Canes BaseballCoach ... More >>
Calendar
October 1, 2009
These Wagons Will Not Be Circled
Riptide 2.0's regular sports commentator and FinsNation blogger Chris Joseph looks back at the top ten Miami sports moments of the decade. Low points like the Miami Dolphins crappy performance and the after-thought known as the Florida Panthers didn't make the cut. Sorry. 10. Canes BaseballCoach ... More >>
Calendar
August 13, 2009
Snowflake Returns
Riptide 2.0's regular sports commentator and FinsNation blogger Chris Joseph looks back at the top ten Miami sports moments of the decade. Low points like the Miami Dolphins crappy performance and the after-thought known as the Florida Panthers didn't make the cut. Sorry. 10. Canes BaseballCoach ... More >>
Blogs
January 7, 2009
Big Tuna Big on New Jersey Veal
You know what always makes me really, really hungry? A close-up of Bill Parcells' mouth making moaning noises indicating pleasure. Here is your Miami Dolphins Savior-in-Chief whoring for a New Jersey italian restaurant along side Mike Francesca (sans Mad Dog) from 1993 that just made its way to the ... More >>
Blogs
January 5, 2009
Well, There's Always Next Season
With news today that Bill Parcells will stay with the Dolphins, it seems a good bet that the heart of the resurgent Miami Dolphins will stay put for next season. Yeah, yesterday's game was a heartbreaking thing to behold, but after the greatest season-to-season turnaround in NFL history, Dolfans hav ... More >>
Blogs
December 29, 2008
Big Tuna Ready to Flee the Fins? For Detroit?!
So is Bill Parcells a masochist, or what? This is the guy who voluntarily went to work for borderline-psychotic Dallas owner Jerry Jones, who left a cushy retirement to take over the staggeringly awful 1-15 Dolphins. For all Riptide knows, he's got a side gig involving a rubber ball mouth-gag, a bas ... More >>
Calendar
November 20, 2008
Next Stop: Carnage
The suddenly resurgent Dolphins take on the hated Patriots.
Calendar
September 4, 2008
A New Beginning
The rebuilding Dolphins open the season against Brett and the Jets.
Calendar
August 21, 2008
Rooting for the Laundry
The rebuilding Dolphins open the season against Brett and the Jets.
Calendar
August 7, 2008
Preseason Tuna Helper
The Bill Parcells era kicks off!
Blogs
July 21, 2008
Jason Taylor Traded to the Redskins
The Bill Parcells era kicks off!
Blogs
April 9, 2008
Bill Parcells Is Good At Drafting
The Bill Parcells era kicks off!
Blogs
April 1, 2008
Picking First Sucks
The Bill Parcells era kicks off!
Blogs
March 21, 2008
2008 Dolphins Mock Draft
The Bill Parcells era kicks off!
Blogs
March 4, 2008
Calvin Pace Will Break Windows With His Arm In New York
The Bill Parcells era kicks off!
Blogs
February 22, 2008
Combine Talk: A Trade With Atlanta?
The Bill Parcells era kicks off!
Blogs
February 11, 2008
Howie's Kid a Dolphin?
The Bill Parcells era kicks off!
Blogs
January 22, 2008
Parcells Wants Trent Green
The Bill Parcells era kicks off!
Blogs
January 15, 2008
Dolphins Coaching Search is a "Four-Horse Race"
The Bill Parcells era kicks off!
Blogs
January 10, 2008
Shocking News Break: Brian Gaine Quits Cowboys
The Bill Parcells era kicks off!
Blogs
January 7, 2008
Source: Dolphins Intrigued by Matt Ryan
The Bill Parcells era kicks off!
Blogs
January 4, 2008
A Feeling of Nothingness
The Bill Parcells era kicks off!
Blogs
January 3, 2008
Breaking News - The Tuna Fires Cam Cameron
The Bill Parcells era kicks off!
Blogs
January 2, 2008
Meet the New Nerdy White Dude, Same as the Old Nerdy White Dude
The Bill Parcells era kicks off!
Blogs
December 11, 2007
Fins Need a Win, The Rest is Meaningless
The Bill Parcells era kicks off!
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