Bill Parcells

Ex-Dolphins QB Pat White Signs With The Marlins

Sometimes it seems the Marlins and Dolphins are trying to pull one big joke on South Florida, and now it appears the Marlins are set to recycle one of the Dolphins biggest punchlines.Pat White, a name synonymous with Bill Parcells' crappy draft picks, has been offered a minor league contract with th ... More >>

Jets Might Hire Dolphins Assistant GM Brian Gaine as Their New GM, Which Should Work Out Well For Them

If there was one silver lining to the NFL season for Dolphins fans this year, it was the fact that while our team might have been mediocre at best, at least we weren't the laughing stock the New York Jets became this year.They've fired their General Manager Mike Tannenbaum, and sort of surprisingly ... More >>

Carlos Noriega Is Done As Beach Chief; Bid Him Farewell By Remembering His Biggest Screw Ups

​The reign of Miami Beach Police Chief Carlos Noriega is all but officially over. The chief was scheduled to retire on December 31st, but City Manager Jorge Gonzalez has announced that the chief will use his leftover vacation days, and has now officially relinquished control of the department. As ... More >>

Fins or Skins

Dolphins Fall To 0-4: It's Suck For Luck Time!

​The Miami Dolphins did that thing again where they play like their scrotums are stapled to their thighs, this time losing 26-16 to the San Diego Chargers. In the process, they lost Chad Henne to a shoulder injury, forcing backup Matt Moore to step in and do exactly what Henne's been doing: namely ... More >>

Dolphins Wait Until Last Possible Moment To Crap Themselves

​The Miami Dolphins dominated pretty much every facet of the game against the Cleveland Browns yesterday, including rushing and passing yards. They even held a 16-10 lead with 43 seconds remaining.But because these are the Dolphins, they decided to go ahead and do that thing where they go all epic ... More >>

Bill Parcells Thinks He Did an Awesome Job With the Dolphins, Except for That Pat White Pick

​Six months ago, Bill Parcells packed up his office -- the one with "Vice President of Football Operations" painted on the door -- at Miami Dolphins headquarters and hasn't really looked back. The jury on Parcells's legacy in Miami is still out. At best, he turned a horrible team into a ... More >>

Chad Henne Danced In Fake Boobs On His Vacation

The Robot assimilating with humans. You're doing it wrong, Robot!​TMZ has pictures of Dolphins quarterback Chad Henne dancing around with fake boobs on his vacation in the Bahamas.And because the Dolphins are a shrill, smug, stuffy organization (because they like to think they're the New England P ... More >>

Bill Parcells Almost Hired Rex Ryan as Dolphins' Head Coach

​Rex Ryan is high on the hate list of most Miami sports fans. In his tenure as head coach with the Jets, he's managed to find innovative, almost unbelievable ways to make the team even trashier. Yet former Dolphin's exec Bill Parcells admits that Ryan was his second choice to coach in Miami. Inste ... More >>

So What Now For the Miami Dolphins?

Last week, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross gave his vote of confidence to head coach Tony Sparano. The consensus has been that Sparano would keep his job, despite the team's second consecutive losing season. Mainly because the players love and respect him. And even though Sunday's game against the New E ... More >>

Miami's dirty dozen of 2010

Tony Sparano's Job is Safe... For Now

​It looks like Tony Sparano may hold onto his job as the Dolphins head coach after all, and, interestingly, that Bill Parcells still has some sway in the organization. Former Raiders executive Mike Lombardi reported on Inside the NFL last night that sources close to the team say Parcells has convi ... More >>

George Alan Rekers: Dirty Dozen 2010

​Each year, New Times puts together a list of the sketchiest politicians and unholiest celebrities and weirdest human beings to call the Magic City home. So who made the filthy cut this year? We're releasing the names one by one ahead of next week's issue, which comes with a full-page illustra ... More >>

Jeffrey Loria: Dirty Dozen 2010

​Each year, New Times puts together a list of the sketchiest politicians and unholiest celebrities and weirdest human beings to call the Magic City home. So who made the filthy cut this year? We're releasing the names one by one ahead of next week's issue, which comes with a full-page illustra ... More >>

Bill Parcells: Dirty Dozen 2010

​Each year, New Times puts together a list of the sketchiest politicians and unholiest celebrities and weirdest human beings to call the Magic City home. So who made the filthy cut this year? We're releasing the names one by one ahead of next week's issue, which comes with a full-page illustra ... More >>

Same As It Ever Was

Will the Dolphins Replace Tony Sparano With Jon Gruden?

​With the Miami Dolphins apparently in the midst of a total implosion, it was only a matter of time before someone began whispering about the future of head coach Tony Sparano. Well, today Greg Cote dropped the bomb that a source tells him Sparano's job might be in trouble, but only if Jon Gruden ... More >>

Tuna Melt

Dolphins Pummeled, Shutout by Bears

​On a night where the NFL Network previewed an upcoming documentary on Bill Parcells and his football genius, the Dolphins team he built was busy rushing for 39 total-yards and throwing for 187 on their way to their first shutout loss in three seasons. The Dolphins were manhandled and dominated in ... More >>

Bill Parcells Has Left The Building

​ESPN is reporting that Miami Dolphins football czar Bill Parcells has packed his bags and moved out of the Dolphins offices. The Dolphins, of course, knew that Parcells was on his way out. But it seems that no one anticipated it to be this soon. Because why would they? Reports out of Dolphins cam ... More >>

Jeff Ireland Assumes Control of Dolphins from Bill Parcells

​It's not quite "retirement" number four for the Big Tuna, but Bill Parcells took one step out the door of the Miami Dolphins' front office today. The team announced that the now-former VP of football will step down to a consultant position, while general manager Jeff Ireland will take total contr ... More >>

The Monday Night Football Guys Think Highly of the Miami Dolphins

​ESPN's Monday Night Football analysts Ron Jaworski and Jon Gruden held a conference call today to preview the upcoming season and both think the Miami Dolphins are going to beat the odds and play well into January. While pretty much the rest of the planet thinks Miami will finish third in the AFC ... More >>

Jason Taylor Says Jets More "Calm," "Positive" Than Dolphins

via Sports MonarchIs Big Tuna the boss from hell?​In 1997, when Bill Parcells was engineering a turnaround of the New York Jets, the New York Times said he was a man of two sides. One that was "loyal, brilliant, passionate, caring and uncomplicated," and another that was "bullying, manipulative, n ... More >>

NFL Draft Live-Blog

​Here we go. Live-blogging the NFL Draft. Pretty much like watching the draft with someone as losery as yourself. Only on the Internet! This is the first time the NFL Draft is being held in primetime. Because you're not buying enough KFC Double Downs for your fatass kids dammit! Also, tonight is t ... More >>

Jason Taylor Headed to the Jets: Who Betrayed Whom?

​The saga of Jason Taylor's off-season has finally come to an end. The linebacker -- who spent 12 seasons with the Dolphins (six of those as a Pro Bowler), was active in the South Florida community, and was one of the franchise's most popular players, even during low points -- is set to join the r ... More >>

Report: Mike Nolan Signs as Dolphins Defensive Coordinator

After being turned down by their first two picks, the Miami Dolphins have signed Mike Nolan as their new defensive coordinator, according to FoxSports.com. Nolan resigned Monday from the same position with the Denver Broncos and was previously DC under Bill Parcells when he was general man ... More >>

Top Ten of the Decade: Miami Sports Moments

Riptide 2.0's regular sports commentator and FinsNation blogger Chris Joseph looks back at the top ten Miami sports moments of the decade. Low points like the Miami Dolphins crappy performance and the after-thought known as the Florida Panthers didn't make the cut. Sorry. ​10. Canes BaseballCoach ... More >>

These Wagons Will Not Be Circled

Snowflake Returns

Big Tuna Big on New Jersey Veal

You know what always makes me really, really hungry? A close-up of Bill Parcells' mouth making moaning noises indicating pleasure. Here is your Miami Dolphins Savior-in-Chief whoring for a New Jersey italian restaurant along side Mike Francesca (sans Mad Dog) from 1993 that just made its way to the ... More >>

Well, There's Always Next Season

With news today that Bill Parcells will stay with the Dolphins, it seems a good bet that the heart of the resurgent Miami Dolphins will stay put for next season. Yeah, yesterday's game was a heartbreaking thing to behold, but after the greatest season-to-season turnaround in NFL history, Dolfans hav ... More >>

Big Tuna Ready to Flee the Fins? For Detroit?!

So is Bill Parcells a masochist, or what? This is the guy who voluntarily went to work for borderline-psychotic Dallas owner Jerry Jones, who left a cushy retirement to take over the staggeringly awful 1-15 Dolphins. For all Riptide knows, he's got a side gig involving a rubber ball mouth-gag, a bas ... More >>

Next Stop: Carnage

The suddenly resurgent Dolphins take on the hated Patriots.

A New Beginning

The rebuilding Dolphins open the season against Brett and the Jets.

Rooting for the Laundry

Preseason Tuna Helper

The Bill Parcells era kicks off!

Jason Taylor Traded to the Redskins

Bill Parcells Is Good At Drafting

Picking First Sucks

2008 Dolphins Mock Draft

Calvin Pace Will Break Windows With His Arm In New York

Combine Talk: A Trade With Atlanta?

Howie's Kid a Dolphin?

Parcells Wants Trent Green

Dolphins Coaching Search is a "Four-Horse Race"

Shocking News Break: Brian Gaine Quits Cowboys

A Feeling of Nothingness

Breaking News - The Tuna Fires Cam Cameron

Meet the New Nerdy White Dude, Same as the Old Nerdy White Dude

Fins Need a Win, The Rest is Meaningless