It wouldn't be Sweatstock without some good old-fashioned Miami freakiness. Maybe in Canada the music festivals end with handshakes and strangers gently complimenting each other on their felt hats. But this is Miami, where nothing's over until it has weird, probably videotaped sex with you. And Sw ... More >>
Do you find yourself falling within that treacherous zone of a Venn diagram that connects "Working for the Weekend" with "The Great Recession"? One surefire way to know: Do you work all the fucking time, yet your wallet functions primarily as a seedy motel for moths? Maybe you need to get a new j ... More >>
Holy fucking ass clenching horsefuckery, this team!!The Miami Heat had everything in its favor. A game at home. A 13-point lead in the second quarter. A 9-point lead in the third. The Boston Celtics stars struggling on offense. A chance to go up 3-2 and force Boston to win two games in a row.And yet ... More >>
So there's no more rumor-mongering, let's get all the facts straight, starting with the name of the new restaurant opening across from Joe's Stone Crab in mid-April: Estiatorio Milos. No, it's not in the former Au Pied de Cochon space. Yes, you have been getting the name wrong. But that's okay -- ... More >>
Do you enjoy art, fashion, film, and music? If the answer is no, you probably aren't human. But if the answer is yes, you should go buy tix for Miami New Times' Artopia 2012, "an event," according to the official Facebook page, "that promotes art for people." There's gonna be an interactive ins ... More >>
Can you believe these extremely irresponsible music fans (read: hippies!) who think it's "radically groovy, man" to buy reduced-price tickets to some floating freak fiesta (say, the Jam Cruise on January 9), stuff their luggage full of dangerous drugs (e.g. marijuana) instead of extra underwear ( ... More >>
Otto taking a moment to read about art and stuff. Maybe you didn't know, but master Miami beatmaker Otto Von Schirach is a great friend of gallerist Brook Dorsch. "I remember meeting Brook. It was love at first sight!" Otto beams. Dorsch is a lover of fantastic art, experimental music, and fu ... More >>
Photo by Justin NamonBack when you were just a seven-year-old sugar junkie, Halloween was a pretty simple gig. It was all about dressin' up like a murderer, hittin' the streets after dark, and gettin' that candy. But then you got too old to Trick or Treat. And that's the moment when All Hallows' ... More >>
In anticipation of the upcoming Best of Miami issue hitting newsstands June 16, here is a sneak peek at one category and its winner.Photo by Ian WitlenBest Solo MusicianOtto von Schirachottovonschirach.com
Note: The text after this introductory paragraph is an unedited journal entry from November 2009. I wrote it a few days after getting out of jail. Thanks to everyone who came out to Bas Fisher Invitational on Saturday night for the Experience Sobriety release party and opening reception festivi ... More >>
Otto Von Schirach and Alligator Jesus.Saturday night in Wynwood felt like God peeled our cap back, palmed our brain, and dunked it in a vat of freezing acid. Not the kind that corrodes to the bone. The kind that makes you trip your face off. And by 11:38 p.m. our skull was so flooded with feedb ... More >>
The Trinumeral Festival With Otto Von Schirach, Tokimonsta, Eprom, Panic Bomber, and More Friday, October 8, 2010 7th Circuit Stuidos Better Than: The actual day when the digits align in auspicious numeric sameness? When we arrived Panic Bomber was on the stage, dressed in the tightest black leath ... More >>
From salty to sporty to sublime.
'Turd' and Vinnie flanked by SandBar staffSandBar Grill will always be the heart of the Grove's Bermuda triangle of college bars (on the same block as the Tavern and Barracuda). Spend an early evening with regulars "Turd" Ferguson and Vinnie and your cup will runneth over with tales of sordid ... More >>
Otto von Schirach in Berlin The year is 1945 and Berlin falls to the allied troops as World War II comes to an end. Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun have one last glass of apple juice as they depart for the big ol' Deutschland in the sky. I wonder what our old Führer would make of his dear belov ... More >>
The Earth's moon was full as we arrived at the medieval castle for the OpenFields Festival, in the French village of Rêves.The Bermuda Triangle's Flamingo prince, Otto von Schirach, instinctually quenched the crowd's thirst for his signature style of alien beats, playing for close to 2 hours ... More >>
Miami is a city of second acts. Whether it be girls whose daddies got them a nose job for high school graduation looking to blossom into butterflies at UM, immigrants coming to start a new life in America, or retirees arriving from the cold to shuffleboard away their golden years, everyone here had ... More >>
While you're at work, Miami's exotic dancers put on a naked lunch.
Dancehall darling Collie Buddz has a hit single, an album ready to drop, and a lot of very confused fans
The Stills lose their feathers
That red-haired guy and CSI: Miami put us back on the media map
Anywhere but Here
L'Entrecote de Paris
Live bands. Loud crowds. High energy. All of it crawling out from under a local rock.