Baltimore Ravens

82-Year-Old Lady on Metrorail Victim of Religious Discrimination

Anti-Christian Bigotry Is on the Rise

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses the lack of faith in the world.On February 20, the holy spirit lifted 82-year-old Brownsville resident Emma Anderson. Th ... More >>

Grace Potter and the Nocturnals at the Fillmore February 16

Grace Potter on Women in Music: "We're in This Weird Separate Category, Doesn't Make Sense"

It's 5 a.m., and an impromptu, collective chant to the tune of the White Stripes' "Seven Nation Army" fills the streets of Baltimore. The city's beloved Ravens were crowned Super Bowl XLVII champions roughly eight hours ago, but the team's diehard fans are still celebrating the victory with the squ ... More >>

Super Bowl: Six Shittiest Musical Commercials

So the Super Bowl turned 47. And as we all know, the Baltimore Ravens beat the San Francisco 49ers in a surprisingly hectic second-half, Beyonce reunited with her Destiny's Child homies, and the game stopped for a full 34 minutes when half of the stadium's the power mysteriously went out. But that' ... More >>

The Miami Fan Hater's Guide to the Super Bowl

The Super Bowl is here again and - will you look at that - the Dolphins weren't even close to it again! This is the 29th year in a row since the Dolphins were in the championship round and here we are: Watching two teams better than our own team that is endlessly run by people too incompetent to be ... More >>

Super Bowl 2013: Ten Best Free Parties in Miami

There will be bloodshed in New Orleans this Sunday as brother (San Francisco 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh) battles brother (Baltimore Ravens skipper John Harbaugh) for football supremacy in Super Bowl XLVII. Two white guys move their soldiers on the field of war, and we eat, drink, argue, do the Heisma ... More >>

Sweetness Bakeshop Selling Beer-Infused, Team-Themed Super Bowl Cupcakes

On Super Bowl Sunday, when the keg is kicked, the wing bones picked dry, the seven-layer dip down to its last tier - you and your guests will be jonesin' for something sweet. And to satisfy those post-game cravings, Sweetness Bakeshop & Cafe is baking up some team-themed, craft beer-infused treats. ... More >>

Super Bowl Watch Parties in Miami

The big game is this Sunday in New Orleans and the Big Easy is filled with fans lining the streets to celebrate Super Bowl XLVII Mardi Gras style.Sure, fans lucky enough to have scored a ticket to the game get to see the Baltimore Ravens and the San Francisco 49ers go head-to-head in person, but the ... More >>

Miami Hurricanes Will Have Most Alumni Playing In NFL Conference Championship Games This Weekend

In yet another bittersweet reminder that despite not having much success lately on the college level, the Miami Hurricanes are still a major NFL pipeline, it turns out that more former 'Canes will playing in the AFC and NFC championship games this weekend than any other school. Which shouldn't be to ... More >>

Miami's Best Youth Football Team Beats Violence, Gambling, Turmoil, and Opponents

Miami Hurricanes Once Again Have Most Alumni Selected to Pro Bowl

Another Pro Bowl, another year in which the Miami Hurricanes have more former players selected than the Miami Dolphins had current players selected.The 'Canes had six alumni selected to the star-studded game, which ties with Tennessee for the most from any college program.

Flo Rida and NFL Vets Give Back to Miami Instead of Blowing Cash at Clubs

Flo Rida and NFL Stars Step Up To Help Kids In Overtown and Liberty City

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke gives props to a local rapper and four football players giving back to the neighborhood.It's a shame more pro athletes and hip-ho ... More >>

Ricky Williams: NFL Football Healer

Miami Heat's All-Time Record at .500 for First Time in Team History

​Remember when the Miami Heat sucked? Good golly, did they suck. This was a team so horrible they didn't get a single win until the 18th game of their inaugural 1988-89 season. In fact, the team's all-time record had never been above .500. Yep, when taking into consideration every single regular-s ... More >>

Holy Crap, the Dolphins Won Again!

​Well that about wraps it up for the first overall pick. The Miami Dolphins were able to both grab an early lead and then not vomit all over it by taking down the vaunted indomitable unconquerable mostly shitty Washington Redskins 20-9 yesterday at Sun Life Stadium.The win snaps a seven-game home ... More >>

Is It Too Late to Smoke Ricky Williams Out Before He Leaves for the Baltimore Ravens?

​This past June, Ricky Williams said he wanted to finish his career by winning a Super Bowl with the Dolphins. Yet the team's moves this off-season showed it had little interest in keeping Williams (or winning a Super Bowl, judging by the handling of the QB situation), and the onetime Pro Bowl MVP ... More >>

LeBron James Gets into the Energy Business with Dissolvable Caffeine Strips

​LeBron James wants to be respected just as much in the boardroom as he is on the ball court, but his latest business venture doesn't seem like a sure slam dunk. A business co-founded by James introduced a line of disolvable strips that pack as much caffeine as a cup of coffee today. Sounds like a ... More >>

RIP Jim Mandich, A Miami Dolphin Till The End

The Mad Dog of South Florida Radio​The Mad Dog bled aqua and orange until his last breath. Former Miami Dolphins tight end and local sports radio personality Jim Mandich passed away Tuesday evening after months of battling cancer. For anyone who's rooted for the hometown NFL Franchise, Mandic ... More >>

So What Now For the Miami Dolphins?

Last week, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross gave his vote of confidence to head coach Tony Sparano. The consensus has been that Sparano would keep his job, despite the team's second consecutive losing season. Mainly because the players love and respect him. And even though Sunday's game against the New E ... More >>

Rachel Goodrich Performs at Churchill's Open Mic

​So, Monday night was amazingly cold. There was a lunar eclipse. I needed to get out of my cave. And I got a ride to Churchill's from my Nigerian female friend because I had heard that Rachel Goodrich was going to be performing at the open mic. Soon, I was walking into the Pub and somebody grab ... More >>

Dolphins Say They'll Submit Video Showing McClain Spitting on Crowder to the League

​Despite giving up over 400 yards in Sunday's loss to the Ravens, along with throwing three interceptions, scoring only one touchdown, and not forcing Baltimore to punt all game long, the most important news item for the Dolphins remains that Channing Crowder got spit on in the face by Ravens full ... More >>

Did Channing Crowder Just Call Anne Frank a Ho?

University of Florida"I don't know who the fuck Anne Frank is."Well, no, he didn't... we think. But the Miami Dolphins linebacker did somehow confuse the diary-writing Holocaust victim with deaf and blind author Helen Keller, which is a front-runner for this month's Most Ignorant Comment By an Athle ... More >>

Dolphins Suffer First Road Loss

​The Miami Dolphins lost their first road game of the season Sunday, falling 26-10 to the Baltimore Ravens, a team that is exactly like the Dolphins in every way except without all the interceptions and missed tackles and special teams blunders and dropped passes. The Dolphins are now 4-4 on the s ... More >>

Dolphins Beat Bengals to Remain Perfect On The Road

​The Miami Dolphins remain perfect on the road after traveling into Cincinnati and taking down the Bengals 22-14 on Sunday. They're now 4-0 on the road, and 4-3 on the season. That's the good news. The bad news? The Dolphins offense flat out refuses to score touchdowns. Dan Carpenter just kicked a ... More >>

Miami Will Probably Lose Out on Hosting Super Bowl XLVIII Today

​Miami has hosted the Super Bowl ten times, more than any other city, and we do a pretty good job of it if we do say so ourselves. Today at the NFL owner conference the site of the 2014 Super Bowl will be determined, and along with New York and Tampa, Miami is in the running. We probably won't get ... More >>

The Nuts and Bolts of the Indianapolis Colts

​Dolphins fans owe two debts of gratitude to the Indianapolis Colts this year: (1) for dropping a regular-season game to ensure that the '72 Fins remain the only team in modern NFL history to complete a perfect season, and (2) for stopping the NY Jets, with classless coach Rex ... More >>

Academy Awards: What Our Critics Said About This Year's Best Picture Nominees

​The Academy Award nominations were announced this morning, and unlike last year's fantastic Mickey Rourke resurgence, there's no strong local hook in this year's horse race. But this here alt-weekly devotes an entire section to movies, and naturally our critics had something to say about eac ... More >>

Could a Dolphin-less Pro Bowl Mean Local Blackout? Maybe Seven Former Canes Could Help

​Since 1980, the Pro Bowl has been played in Hawaii, and because our 50th state doesn't have a team of its own, it's been a nice opportunity for locals to catch some NFL action, even if the players don't typically bring their best game. But this year's Pro Bowl will take place in Miami, with ... More >>

Texans vs. Dolphins Recap: A Tale of Two Halves

​That Dolphins halftime speech must have been some kind of fire and brimstone sermon. Something along the lines of Henry V's Saint Crispen's Day address. The pre-game speech, meh, not so much. It was probably more along the lines of, "Okay men, we're gonna go out there and we're gonna pull down ou ... More >>

Dolphins Playoff Hopes Still Marginally Alive, But at Least '72 Remains Unmatched

​Despite NBCMiami's sort of brilliant "Fin" headline this morning, the Dolphins playoffs hopes are still alive. Well, not really alive. Their playoff hopes are more zombie-like. It's as if the Dolphins are in a cheesy horror movie where the undead have taken over and bitten the Fins, and the team ... More >>

Four Reasons the Dolphins Crapped the Bed on Their Season

​Just days before Christmas, the Miami Dolphins were supposed to come up with another big win to inch closer to a post-season berth. Instead, they delivered a stocking full of turds in the form of a 27-24 loss in overtime to the Tennessee Titans. There's plenty of blame to go around for their play ... More >>

Where a Strike Is a Good Thing

Sad Pats Fans Will Have to Suck It Up and Root for the Jets

Is there anything more annoying than Boston sports fans? No sir, there is not. Since 2004, their teams have won a Super Bowl, an NBA Championship, and two World Series, which I'm sure you know if you've talked to any Bostonian for more than five seconds. Now Bostonians are going to have to suck it ... More >>

Crist Appoints Loser Ex-Football Player To Board of Education

Florida's education rankings continue to linger in the bottom half of the nation's states, and who does Charlie Crist appoint to the State Board of Education? Oh, a former professional football player. ex-FSU Standount and Baltimore Ravens linebacker Peter Boulware ran for a Florida House seat as a ... More >>

Weekend Football: Make a Statement

Wildcat Dolphins

New-look Miami Dolphins take on the Ravens.

Fashion for the Ass-tro Turf

We’re jonesing for Jockstarzz tonight!

Let's Talk Free Agents: Defense

Dolphins Coaching Search is a "Four-Horse Race"

Sparano Offered Coaching Job?

Weekly News Wrap - Crist, Fidel, Entertainment Scabs and more

Top Ten Sports Moments of the Year

The Pain is Over

The Spirit of '76?

On the Dolphins’ Christmas List

Cleo Lemon Won't Go Away

Over the Weekend - Basel, Busta, Riley and Chavez

Muscle Worship

Flexing for glamour, power