Baltimore Ravens

  • Blogs

    September 16, 2014

    Ray Rice Scandal Exposes NFL's Screwed Up Morals

    Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains why the NFL is out of control. It should surprise no one that the domestic-violence case of Baltimore Ravens' star runn ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 4, 2014

    Brendon Ayanbadejo Claims Dolphins May Have Traded Him For Taking Paternity Leave

    During the 2005 offseason the Dolphins traded Brendon Ayanbadejo to the Bears. he went on to have three consecutive Pro Bowl seasons and would eventually win a Super Bowl with the Baltimore Ravens. The Dolphins meanwhile would endure a season of mediocrity under Nick Saban. Well, Ayanbadejo seems ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 31, 2014

    Who Should Miamians Root For In the Super Bowl: Broncos or Seahawks?

    Every year there is a Super Bowl. Every year, for the past 31 years, the Miami Dolphins have not been in that Super Bowl. So every year we're left deciding what team we're going to nominally root for that night. In fact, over the past few years Riptide has used a highly secret, semi-patented mathe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 27, 2013

    Yes, the Dolphins Can Still Make the Playoffs on Sunday; Here's How

    Last week, the Dolphins pooped on the lechon of every fans hopes and dreams that the team would control their own destiny on the way to making the playoffs for the first time in five years. The Dolphins still have a decent chance of getting in with some help, but they absolutely have to beat the h ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 9, 2013

    Dolphins Nail Steelers: "Ugh, so close." Playoff Hopes Still Alive.

    That picture shows how close the Miami Dolphins came to one of the most epic losses in the franchise's history. One-third of an Antonio Brown foot from being Auburn'd right in the butt. Instead, the Dolphins shook off about six demons with a gutsy win over the Pittsburgh Steelers in a snowy, back-a ... More >>

  • Calendar

    October 17, 2013
  • Blogs

    October 7, 2013

    Sacks, Dropped Passes Result in Dolphins 26-23 Loss To Ravens

    The Dolphins lost to the Ravens 26-23 yesterday after kicker Justin Tucker put the Ravens ahead for good on a 44-yard field goal with 1:42 left to go. The Dolphins had a final chance to at least tie the game thanks to some crazy heroics by quarterback Ryan Tannehill to evade the punishing Ravens rus ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 4, 2013

    Ravens at Dolphins This Sunday: Four Keys For a Fins Win

    After a humbling loss to the Saints, how will the Dolphins bounce back? What can they do? Who do they want to be? Are they better than what that performance delineated? Are they worse than what their record tells us? The season will answer these questions with unforgiving evidence. The path t ... More >>

  • Calendar

    October 3, 2013
  • Blogs

    June 25, 2013

    Baltimore Ravens Should Be Ashamed for Dissing Miami Heat Parade on Twitter

    Talk about unsportsmanlike conduct. The Super Bowl Champion Baltimore Ravens threw massive shade at the Miami Heat today on their official Facebook and Twitter accounts by posting some selective side-by-side shots of the Miami Heat's championship parade and their own Super Bowl celebration. See als ... More >>

  • Music

    February 14, 2013
  • Blogs

    February 11, 2013

    Grace Potter on Women in Music: "We're in This Weird Separate Category, Doesn't Make Sense"

    It's 5 a.m., and an impromptu, collective chant to the tune of the White Stripes' "Seven Nation Army" fills the streets of Baltimore. The city's beloved Ravens were crowned Super Bowl XLVII champions roughly eight hours ago, but the team's diehard fans are still celebrating the victory with the squ ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 4, 2013

    Super Bowl: Six Shittiest Musical Commercials

    So the Super Bowl turned 47. And as we all know, the Baltimore Ravens beat the San Francisco 49ers in a surprisingly hectic second-half, Beyonce reunited with her Destiny's Child homies, and the game stopped for a full 34 minutes when half of the stadium's the power mysteriously went out. But that' ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 1, 2013

    The Miami Fan Hater's Guide to the Super Bowl

    The Super Bowl is here again and - will you look at that - the Dolphins weren't even close to it again! This is the 29th year in a row since the Dolphins were in the championship round and here we are: Watching two teams better than our own team that is endlessly run by people too incompetent to be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 1, 2013

    Super Bowl 2013: Ten Best Free Parties in Miami

    There will be bloodshed in New Orleans this Sunday as brother (San Francisco 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh) battles brother (Baltimore Ravens skipper John Harbaugh) for football supremacy in Super Bowl XLVII. Two white guys move their soldiers on the field of war, and we eat, drink, argue, do the Heisma ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 1, 2013

    Sweetness Bakeshop Selling Beer-Infused, Team-Themed Super Bowl Cupcakes

    On Super Bowl Sunday, when the keg is kicked, the wing bones picked dry, the seven-layer dip down to its last tier - you and your guests will be jonesin' for something sweet. And to satisfy those post-game cravings, Sweetness Bakeshop & Cafe is baking up some team-themed, craft beer-infused treats. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 31, 2013

    Super Bowl Watch Parties in Miami

    The big game is this Sunday in New Orleans and the Big Easy is filled with fans lining the streets to celebrate Super Bowl XLVII Mardi Gras style.Sure, fans lucky enough to have scored a ticket to the game get to see the Baltimore Ravens and the San Francisco 49ers go head-to-head in person, but the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 18, 2013

    Miami Hurricanes Will Have Most Alumni Playing In NFL Conference Championship Games This Weekend

    In yet another bittersweet reminder that despite not having much success lately on the college level, the Miami Hurricanes are still a major NFL pipeline, it turns out that more former 'Canes will playing in the AFC and NFC championship games this weekend than any other school. Which shouldn't be to ... More >>

  • News

    January 17, 2013
  • News

    July 26, 2012
  • Blogs

    February 16, 2012

    Miami Heat's All-Time Record at .500 for First Time in Team History

    ​Remember when the Miami Heat sucked? Good golly, did they suck. This was a team so horrible they didn't get a single win until the 18th game of their inaugural 1988-89 season. In fact, the team's all-time record had never been above .500. Yep, when taking into consideration every single regular-s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 14, 2011

    Holy Crap, the Dolphins Won Again!

    ​Well that about wraps it up for the first overall pick. The Miami Dolphins were able to both grab an early lead and then not vomit all over it by taking down the vaunted indomitable unconquerable mostly shitty Washington Redskins 20-9 yesterday at Sun Life Stadium.The win snaps a seven-game home ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 8, 2011

    Is It Too Late to Smoke Ricky Williams Out Before He Leaves for the Baltimore Ravens?

    ​This past June, Ricky Williams said he wanted to finish his career by winning a Super Bowl with the Dolphins. Yet the team's moves this off-season showed it had little interest in keeping Williams (or winning a Super Bowl, judging by the handling of the QB situation), and the onetime Pro Bowl MVP ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 26, 2011

    RIP Jim Mandich, A Miami Dolphin Till The End

    The Mad Dog of South Florida Radio​The Mad Dog bled aqua and orange until his last breath. Former Miami Dolphins tight end and local sports radio personality Jim Mandich passed away Tuesday evening after months of battling cancer. For anyone who's rooted for the hometown NFL Franchise, Mandic ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 3, 2011

    So What Now For the Miami Dolphins?

    Last week, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross gave his vote of confidence to head coach Tony Sparano. The consensus has been that Sparano would keep his job, despite the team's second consecutive losing season. Mainly because the players love and respect him. And even though Sunday's game against the New E ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 9, 2010

    Dolphins Say They'll Submit Video Showing McClain Spitting on Crowder to the League

    ​Despite giving up over 400 yards in Sunday's loss to the Ravens, along with throwing three interceptions, scoring only one touchdown, and not forcing Baltimore to punt all game long, the most important news item for the Dolphins remains that Channing Crowder got spit on in the face by Ravens full ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2010

    Did Channing Crowder Just Call Anne Frank a Ho?

    University of Florida"I don't know who the fuck Anne Frank is."Well, no, he didn't... we think. But the Miami Dolphins linebacker did somehow confuse the diary-writing Holocaust victim with deaf and blind author Helen Keller, which is a front-runner for this month's Most Ignorant Comment By an Athle ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2010

    Dolphins Suffer First Road Loss

    ​The Miami Dolphins lost their first road game of the season Sunday, falling 26-10 to the Baltimore Ravens, a team that is exactly like the Dolphins in every way except without all the interceptions and missed tackles and special teams blunders and dropped passes. The Dolphins are now 4-4 on the s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 1, 2010

    Dolphins Beat Bengals to Remain Perfect On The Road

    ​The Miami Dolphins remain perfect on the road after traveling into Cincinnati and taking down the Bengals 22-14 on Sunday. They're now 4-0 on the road, and 4-3 on the season. That's the good news. The bad news? The Dolphins offense flat out refuses to score touchdowns. Dan Carpenter just kicked a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 25, 2010

    Miami Will Probably Lose Out on Hosting Super Bowl XLVIII Today

    ​Miami has hosted the Super Bowl ten times, more than any other city, and we do a pretty good job of it if we do say so ourselves. Today at the NFL owner conference the site of the 2014 Super Bowl will be determined, and along with New York and Tampa, Miami is in the running. We probably won't get ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 2, 2010

    Academy Awards: What Our Critics Said About This Year's Best Picture Nominees

    ​The Academy Award nominations were announced this morning, and unlike last year's fantastic Mickey Rourke resurgence, there's no strong local hook in this year's horse race. But this here alt-weekly devotes an entire section to movies, and naturally our critics had something to say about eac ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 11, 2010

    Could a Dolphin-less Pro Bowl Mean Local Blackout? Maybe Seven Former Canes Could Help

    ​Since 1980, the Pro Bowl has been played in Hawaii, and because our 50th state doesn't have a team of its own, it's been a nice opportunity for locals to catch some NFL action, even if the players don't typically bring their best game. But this year's Pro Bowl will take place in Miami, with ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 28, 2009

    Dolphins Playoff Hopes Still Marginally Alive, But at Least '72 Remains Unmatched

    ​Despite NBCMiami's sort of brilliant "Fin" headline this morning, the Dolphins playoffs hopes are still alive. Well, not really alive. Their playoff hopes are more zombie-like. It's as if the Dolphins are in a cheesy horror movie where the undead have taken over and bitten the Fins, and the team ... More >>

  • Calendar

    November 19, 2009
  • Blogs

    January 5, 2009

    News Roundup

    It was so exciting to get back in the playoffs, until we remembered that the Dolphins are not too lucky in the playoffs. They lost to the Ravens 27-9. [AP]But, hey, Bill Parcells isn't going anywhere. [AP]Thousands of shoes magically showed up on the Palmetto Expressway. My guess is that C ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 22, 2008
  • Blogs

    December 9, 2008

    Crist Appoints Loser Ex-Football Player To Board of Education

    Florida's education rankings continue to linger in the bottom half of the nation's states, and who does Charlie Crist appoint to the State Board of Education? Oh, a former professional football player. ex-FSU Standount and Baltimore Ravens linebacker Peter Boulware ran for a Florida House seat as a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 17, 2008

    Weekend Football: Make a Statement

    Last weekend proved a harsh bit or reality to Dolphin's fans. We lost to a friggin' winless team! It wasn't quite the upset that our win against the Pats were, but damn it must not do much for morale, one point difference or not. Things were brighter on the college level. The Canes picked up an expe ... More >>

  • Calendar

    October 16, 2008

    Wildcat Dolphins

    New-look Miami Dolphins take on the Ravens.

  • Calendar

    March 27, 2008

    Fashion for the Ass-tro Turf

    We’re jonesing for Jockstarzz tonight!

  • Blogs

    February 14, 2008

    Let's Talk Free Agents: Defense

    Sports Illustrated's Peter King says the Dolphins are poised to have a big off-season after releasing Trent Green, Marty Booker and L.J. Shelton. With those guys off the books, the Fins' cap number has gone from $29 million to $40 million (sadly, my cap space is holding steady at $58.12), which mean ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 15, 2008
  • Blogs

    January 7, 2008

    Sparano Offered Coaching Job?

    According to the New Haven Register, the Dolphins have offered Tony Sparano the head coaching job. The report also says that Sparano will accept it as soon as the Cowboys' season is finished. The Cowboys are currently in the playoffs. Remember those? The report is considered significant because New ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 21, 2007

    Weekly News Wrap - Crist, Fidel, Entertainment Scabs and more

    1. New Orleans City Council Votes to Demolish Housing, Protesters Riot – The City Council voted unanimously to raze the city’s largest public housing project. Protesters fought with police. Those outside the city council chambers fought to get in, the one’s inside argued for their homes. 2. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 18, 2007
  • Blogs

    December 17, 2007

    The Pain is Over

    My feet still haven’t touched the ground. My throat is raw and scratchy. My voice is shot. I sound like Jennifer Tilly after several rounds of scotch and cigarettes at a Poker tournament. Myself, and everyone around me, are acting like we’re in a Dr. Pepper commercial. My brain still can’t wra ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 14, 2007

    The Spirit of '76?

    Well. This is it. One more loss away from tying the 1976 Bucs. Two more losses away from full on dementia. Beat the 4-9 Ravens or face the fact that you’ll be telling your grandkids you experienced the worst season ever in the history of the NFL. And then they’ll recoil in horror as they realiz ... More >>

  • Calendar

    December 13, 2007
  • Blogs

    December 10, 2007
  • Calendar

    November 13, 2003

    Muscle Worship

    Flexing for glamour, power

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