Animal Cruelty

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The Five Most Important Proposed New Laws for Florida Animal Lovers

​Florida is a pretty horrible place to be an animal. That's due at least in part to the great conglomeration of weirdos and cretins here, of course, but stone-age animal cruelty laws have a lot to do with it as well. A few Florida senators have done their part by proposing bills that would go a lo ... More >>

Forget the Puppy Bowl: Five Animal Showdowns We'd Rather See

​"What's the Puppy Bowl," you reluctantly ask? It's Animal Planet exploiting a bunch of cute puppies and forcing them to play their own brand of football on national television on Super Bowl Sunday. Yes, it's a thing.The fact that people even enjoy rugby's pussy little cousin football at all is su ... More >>

PETA Wants To Make O.J.'s House A Meat Is Murder Museum: Free Tofu For Everyone

​In an act of sheer and utter genius, People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals' President Ingrid Newkirk wants to turn O.J. Simson's soon-to-be-foreclosed Miami house into a Meat is Murder museum.We called PETA's headquarters and spoke with Ashley Byne, Manager of Campaigns, who confirmed that ... More >>

PETA Wants to Turn OJ Simpson's Foreclosed Home into a Vegetarian Museum

PETA, a sad, attention-trolling parody of an animal rights organization, never lets a prime opportunity for cheap publicity go to waste, so they've decided to jump on the news that OJ Simpson's Kendall close is in foreclosure. PETA founder Ingrid Newkirk has penned a letter to the foreclos ... More >>

PETA and Thanksgiving: Talking Turkey

​People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or PETA, has a long history of being controversial. Their polarizing anti-meat, anti-research, and anti-fur campaigns can be harsh, in-your-face, and brilliant.  And there's no better time for PETA to activate its campaign machine than during Than ... More >>

Once Awesome

​People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or PETA, has a long history of being controversial. Their polarizing anti-meat, anti-research, and anti-fur campaigns can be harsh, in-your-face, and brilliant.  And there's no better time for PETA to activate its campaign machine than during Than ... More >>

PETA Sues SeaWorld Over Alleged "Whale Slavery"

Does this orca have Constitutional rights?​PETA, everyone's favorite group of totally rational animal activists, has launched a new legal attack against SeaWorld this morning, accusing parks in Orlando and California of mistreating five killer whales. Which, actually, OK! There are lots of reasona ... More >>

PETA Mocks Florida Shark Attack Victim in Stupid New Ad

​No matter how much you may love animals, can we just all agree that PETA has become the worst? They're obnoxious turds who actually kill thousands of animals, not to mention they have some of the stupidest, most cloying advertising not dreamed up by Crispin Porter. Now they've put up a billboard ... More >>

Monkey Cannibals: Robert Conyers Charged With Animal Cruelty UPDATE

L.A. City Attorney's OfficeIsn't this how 28 Days Later begins?​Miami freight shipper Robert Matson Conyers was charged with animal cruelty yesterday after a tri-continental shipment of monkeys turned into a cannibalistic simian catastrophe.Guyanese animal supplier Akhtar Hussain hired Conyers to ... More >>

Fuze Announces Michael Vick As Partner, Spokesperson; Is It Too Early?

​Michael Vick is now an equity partner in Double Eagle Holdings, which owns the Fuze beverage company. The company released a press release Wednesday announcing that Vick, "one of the most dynamic athletes in the National Football League," is its new spokesperson.Is it just me or is this just too ... More >>

Fighting Cocks and 4,000 Coconuts Get Three Miami Men Arrested

​Three Miami men were arrested after their van was pulled over in the Keys and police found the vehicle stuffed with tons of cocks and nuts. Not only had the men stolen about 4,000 coconuts, they also had two roosters that appeared to be used for cockfighting locked in crates.

Sex With Animals Might Finally Become Illegal in Florida

​Throughout its shining history, the great state of Florida has never bothered to put a law on the books explicitly banning humans from having sex with animals. In recent years, Broward Democratic state Sen. Nan Rich has led a charge to finally outlaw bestiality, but Republican leaders in the Hous ... More >>

Disease Epidemic Forces Miami-Dade Animal Services to Temporarily Suspend Many Services

​Following an outbreak of infectious diseases in the animal shelter, Miami-Dade Animal Services has announced that they will temporarily suspend numerous services for "no more than two weeks, effective immediately." The shelter will no longer accept the intake of any new dogs. Most stray dog pick- ... More >>

WMC hits the Miami Beach Convention Center March 8 to 12

​Following an outbreak of infectious diseases in the animal shelter, Miami-Dade Animal Services has announced that they will temporarily suspend numerous services for "no more than two weeks, effective immediately." The shelter will no longer accept the intake of any new dogs. Most stray dog pick- ... More >>

Woman Will Eat Dog Food on YouTube Every Day Until Animal Rights Law Passes

​As a Miami Beach resident Nikki Moustaki has an almost endless array of great dining right outside her doorstep, and yet everyday she eats dog food and uploads the dining experience to YouTube. The host of a pet related show on The Beach Channel plans to eat dog food at least once a day ever ... More >>

Tyler Weinman Case Cause for Abandoning Cat Dissections in Miami, Argue New Times Readers

Tyler Weinman was cleared of animal cruelty charges, but some New Times readers still object to cat dissection​A year and a half ago, the Tyler Weinman "cat killer" case tore open this quaint little town we call Miami. Police said the teenager described classroom dissections a little too eagerly. ... More >>

BK flame-grilled chicken on whole-grain ciabatta bun

Tyler Weinman was cleared of animal cruelty charges, but some New Times readers still object to cat dissection​A year and a half ago, the Tyler Weinman "cat killer" case tore open this quaint little town we call Miami. Police said the teenager described classroom dissections a little too eagerly. ... More >>

PETA Wants Robotic Fish Behind Marlin's Home Plate

a previous PETA campaign aimed at the wellbeing of fish.​Last week the Florida Marlins announced plans to install salt water aquariums behind home plate in their currently under-construction stadium in Miami. Well PETA, an organization the seemingly only exists now to release stupid pres ... More >>

Cat Killer Case: Hairs Found on Suspect Don't Match Dead Cats

via I Can Has Cheezburger​If Johnnie Cochran was still alive and defending cat killer suspect Tyler Weinman, we'd imagine he'd be saying something like "If the pussy hairs aren't the same, you can't place blame."WSVN reports that the DNA of cat hairs found in the room, clothing and backpack of def ... More >>

Accused Cat Killer May Blame Kitty Deaths on Wild Pit Bulls

Courtesy of Miami-Dade CorrectionsIt's been nearly a year since Tyler Weinman was arrested and charged with a string of cat killings in the Palmetto and Cutler Bay neighborhoods. His trial isn't even set to begin until October 25, but the Miami-Dade justice system trudges on. Weinman made an appeara ... More >>

Letters from the issue of May 20, 2010

Courtesy of Miami-Dade CorrectionsIt's been nearly a year since Tyler Weinman was arrested and charged with a string of cat killings in the Palmetto and Cutler Bay neighborhoods. His trial isn't even set to begin until October 25, but the Miami-Dade justice system trudges on. Weinman made an appeara ... More >>

Wet Goddess: Florida Man Pens Human-Dolphin Romance Novel

​Last year in a slightly controversial cover story, New Times delved into the world of bestiality. We introduced you, whether you were prepared or not, to Malcolm Brenner, a Sarasota man who claims that a dolphin, named Ruby, was the love of his life. Now he's completed work on a semi-autobiograph ... More >>

Accused Cat Killer Faces Additional Charges

Courtesy of Miami-Dade CorrectionsTyler WeinmanApparently, there were so many cats killed during last Spring's feline murder spree that rocked Cutler Bay and Palmetto Bay that prosecutors forgot to charge the suspect, 19-year-old Tyler Weinman, with all of them. In a status hearing ye ... More >>

PETA Not Amused With Open Season on "Reptiles of Concern"

via The Daily Beast​Despite its name, The Daily Beast is not a per diem review of large, threatening wild life. Well, usually anyway.Even after parting ways with Gerald Posner, Tina Brown's internet concern hasn't kept its eyes off South Florida. This week they sent former Newsweek senior rep ... More >>

Cat Killer Suspect Tyler Weinman's DNA Not Found on Kitty Corpses

The string of cat killings that rocked Palmetto and Cutler Bay last summer may have ended when police arrested 18-year-old suspect Tyler Weinman, but investigators haven't been able to link Weinman's DNA to the case.Eleven of the 19 cats' bodies were tested for human DNA and none was found. They had ... More >>

Humane Nachos For A Kinder Super Bowl

Lee KleinCat or cow, it's all the same: Animal cruelty needs to be stopped.​The World Society for the Protection of Animals (WSPA) is providing Super Bowl fans some tools to help choose food products that are better for animals. The message is that your favorite snacks and recipes are fine -- only ... More >>

Letters from the Issue of October 29, 2009

Lee KleinCat or cow, it's all the same: Animal cruelty needs to be stopped.​The World Society for the Protection of Animals (WSPA) is providing Super Bowl fans some tools to help choose food products that are better for animals. The message is that your favorite snacks and recipes are fine -- only ... More >>

Letters from the Issue of August 27, 2009

"Zoophiles evidently don't have any consideration for people. Maybe that's why they have to resort to sex with animals."

Animal Instincts

Zoophiles love and have sex with animals. Will the world ever accept them?

Mr. Clucky and Other Animals in the News

When the heat hits and news slows to a crawl, it's time for an animal controversy.

Dolphins Pass on Michael Vick, and Boy Is Greg Cote Upset

​The Miami Dolphins yesterday officially squashed any lingering rumors they had an interest in signing convicted felon Michael Vick, and boy, Miami Herald sports columnist Greg Cote sure is upset about it. In a column today, he calls the Dolphins "cowards," whose passing on Vick car ... More >>

Che Guevara's Granddaughter Poses Topless for PETA

via El MundoJust yesterday, PETA tried to jump on the coattails of the cat killer case by pushing their anti-dissection agenda, but we've got a feeling the fallout from their latest stunt is really going to make certain corners of Miami explode with outrage. They've convinced Lydia Gu ... More >>

PETA Grasps at Cat Killer Straws to Push Anti-Dissection Campaign

via DanPerry.com's FlickrNo, Mr. Meowington we do not want to cut you up, but can you scratch PETA for usRiptide never takes too kindly to organizations piggy backing on a big news story to push their agenda. Yeah, sure, it's PR 101, but it's just so annoying. So, on the heels of the Cat Killer ... More >>

Pet Shop Boys Play Filllmore Miami Beach on September 9

Earlier this year, the publicity machine known as PETA decided they'd get their name in the papers again by requesting the Pet Shop Boys change their name to the Rescue Shelter Boys. No really, they did. The request was respectfully declined, which I'm sure was a crushing blow to animal rights activ ... More >>

Bestiality May Actually Become Illegal

still from The ShiningLet's take a look at Florida's laws. Gay marriage? Banned in the constitution. Gay adoption? Illegal. Bestiality? Technically legal. Yep, Florida is one of 16 states that doesn't ban inter-species sexual contact. Though, usually bestiality practitioners get charged with animal ... More >>

The Case of the Unlawfully Delicious Pony

Wikimedia CommonsPass the salt!In these tough economic times, Miamians find themselves cutting new corners to make ends meet. As unemployed 39-year old Hialeah resident Ricardo Caonwahi tells us, that can sometimes mean making a meal out of a pony. Yes, a miniature horse.Caonwahi is being charged wi ... More >>

PETA's Super Bowl Advert is Banned, Legions of Sports Fans Indifferent

Just how irrelevant has PETA become? The one-time-animal-rights-organization-turned-ludicrous-marketing-machine long ago gave up trying to reach people with reasoned arguments about the sanctity of all life or the wastefulness of our meat-happy culture. Instead they've adopted a fairly standard mar ... More >>

Rourke Doesn't Want Your Dog to Get Knocked Up

Mickey Rourke's role in The Wreslter must have really stuck with him, because I'm pretty sure the last time I heard the word cojones was on the WWE. Here he is with his beloved Chihuahua, Loki, posing for the new PETA ad with a message that Bob Barker would be proud of. Of course I don't think Bar ... More >>

Joey Porter Cool With Pit Bull Fighting, Not Cocker Spaniel Brawls

Is there any extra duct tape lying around the Dolphins locker room? How about a ball gag? Because there are times when Joey Porter just needs to shut up. Porter was sharing his deep thoughts on the Michael Vick case and decided Vick should be given another shot in the NFL because he was abusing p ... More >>

Letters from the Issue of August 21, 2008

"The python is dangerous and can attack, strangle, and easily kill even a grown man. Why doesn't Selene try hunting pythons?"

Updated: Ringling Bros. Elephant Injures Trainer

"The python is dangerous and can attack, strangle, and easily kill even a grown man. Why doesn't Selene try hunting pythons?"

PETA Likes Dolphin Stadium

"The python is dangerous and can attack, strangle, and easily kill even a grown man. Why doesn't Selene try hunting pythons?"

PETA Likes Dolphin Stadium

"The python is dangerous and can attack, strangle, and easily kill even a grown man. Why doesn't Selene try hunting pythons?"

BEST ARGENTINE RESTAURANT

Graziano's Parrilla Argentina

Letters from the Issue of February 6, 2003

The nation's animal lovers bite back

Best Natural Food/Vegetarian Restaurant

Suzanne's Vegetarian Bistro

And You Thought Hot Flashes Were Bad

A nationwide estrogen study has animal-welfare activists pissed off about the collection of horse urine

Program Notes

A nationwide estrogen study has animal-welfare activists pissed off about the collection of horse urine

Letters

A nationwide estrogen study has animal-welfare activists pissed off about the collection of horse urine